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I don't know how much help I will get here because most of members are probably several years younger. But I have the need to share this and I need help and comfort... I'm so crying right now T__T

I'm 22. I'm a university student living with my parents. I often have problems and arguments with them; they are very authoritative and judgmental and they ofter criticize me and bring me down for every mistake and fail. I know I'm not perfect and make mistakes but they have basically torn apart all of my self confidence by talking about what an inable impossible person I am all the time, with much more scolding than praising and recognising what I've done right. Also they're restricted in their thinking, so racist and nationalist, disliking and disdaining other nationalities perhaps except for English speaking countries and maybe some West europeans ones.

Now there's this thing that something happened what I never wouldn't have expected, and that's that without having wanted it I've found a person I deeply love. We started in September 2006 as just emailing friends, after by "chance" he had replied to my email adress on a Christian goth site. I hadn't even thought about finding a serious relationship this way and I hadn't wanted it; I just wanted to find friends with similar likings to mine. Since then we have been emailing long and chatting almost every day and could get to know each other a lot. I know some people don't like this way of starting a relationship, but we hadn't chosen that way, it just happened. And I could see that by emailing we could get to know each other's soul better that just by meeting in "real" life, because such conversations tend to be shallow in the beginning when people meet, while by email it was easier to talk even about more profound topics and thus to get to know we really had a lot in common. Soon we gained the sureness that we eventually wanted to be together and that we have found the true love of our life. We also talked on phone many and exchanged pictures and also packets by mail. However, I hadn't expected how much my parents would freak out, and they even never got to know how serious it was for us two. They thought we were just emailing friends, yet they were so hysteric just because of the fact that we were exchanging emails and that I had given him my adress to home (as they saw the packet from him came - a letter and CD with music.) There have already been so many times when I was down and cried because of it but because there was no way how to make them tolerate my decision, I and my bf decided soon after that incident that it would be the best to make it appear as if we aren't in touch any more, just like my parents wanted. And we continued to keep in touch the same way, more from the comps from my uni than from home, and when he sent me some stuff we used a service at my post office that keeps the packets coming to my adress there at the post office and I could come there to pick them up, so that my parents didn't get to know. We got to grow such a strong bond that it has become totally unimaginable for both of us that we wouldn't be together. And for this big hope and faith I have been willing to stand all the times of sadness, loneliness, fear and all the many tears, for the hope that things eventually will be good for us after I finish my uni studies and we'll be able to be together. Our love has brought motivation to live into my life, something I hadn't had before when I used to be so depressed and apathetic to everything. And he truly makes me feel loved and accepted the way I am; and has been my big support and comfort.
Now after 17 months of our relationship, my bf is finally considering that he would come to my country to spend here maybe two weeks. Because of financial possibilities it was still unsure if we would have money for the fly ticket and acommodation but now finally he has, after sparing from what he had gotten from his job. The termine would be in the period when i won't have any regular schedule any more so I would have time to meet him. We just talked about it in these last days and we considered that he would live in a hostel in the capital and on some days I would come there by bus and on some days he would come to my city.
But today we were chatting and he was somewhat cross... sometimes he gets moody and unpleasant so easily and then it't difficult to get on with him but such times usually pass soon again and he gets back to normal, and I know that no one is perfect and I must learn to be tolerant. But then out of sudden he said that he wouldn't come if I don't tell my parents about him and was really harsh and this chat so made me cry. And he knew how bad I felt but in the end of his speech he just said "have a good day" and logged out.
So now I'm totally lost because there's really nothing I can gain from telling my nazi parents about us. I was thinking that we would overcome yet the 2 or 2,5 years that are before us this way it is, and then I could go live with him but now he came with this idea that can't be helpful to us two in any way. And again like he sometimes does in his moody times, he didn't even bother to tell anything comforting to me, so unlike just several hours before that in our previous chat or in some earlier ones when he was just talking so much about how much he loved me and how he couldn't be without me. But now I somehow gained the impression that breaking up with me actually would not be so difficult for him.
My parents, that's something what most of people of my age probably don't know... They keep thinking that it's their right to control everything in my life. And I basically don't have ways to defend myself, not unless I finish the uni and hopefully find a job. What could I do if they decided to watch over me like in jail. My extremely timid and oversensitive nature doesn't help the situation either. They don't go to work any more so they would have plenty of time, and I don't have ways to defend myself, neither I have anywhere else to go. I believe it would be a very wrong thing to resign on what can be the true love just because of parents. After all, I'm not 15 years old any more. And the relationship in a couple is a more important and closest one than between a parent and a child, because the one in a couple is supposed to last for whole life or for most of it.
So I have no idea what I should do. Many times when I was crying like this I was asking myself if it is all worth it and if it wouldn't better if I had never met him. But all the time I've been believing that it's worth it... But what now, when it came to this spot where every choice seems to be a bad one?? T___T

Thank you, I'm glad there's someone here who can relate.
I feel so down and worried now; I didn't feel at all like emailing him after this and I don't know if we'll have the possibility to chat over the weekend... so I'm now really sad.
He told me that he felt like he wasn't really a part of my life due to this fact that it was secret like this. But I really can't see any good it would bring us if my parents got to know. Only more limitations and restrictions for me, less freedom to keep in touch with him or even actually meet him, loss of at least the freedom I have. We had agreed that it would be best to keep it like this until we are able to live together, and I think it really would be. I don't know why suddenly this would become so important to him; shouldn't I myself be important for him and not my parents??
If I was already a person after finished studies, with a steady job and living on her own, I wouldn't have to be so concerned and I wouldn't have to mind if my parents know about my relationship and don't like it. But now I am still so dependent yet... Although technically I'm an adult, practically the possibilities of my freedom and independence are limited.

I agree. At the moment it does sound unreasonable of him.

Ask him, if you did tell your parents, what would HE think would happen?

Ask him for his opinion, and ask him if he can understand that you're pretty much stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Things are better now. Thank you all for support.
I and my bf were emailing at weekend and chatting on Monday; he apologized for making me sad by how he had been talking before and we made things clearer and he eventually agreed that it wouldn't be good to tell to my parents.
Hopefully he will manage to come in the end of May at least for some days; he's been already searching and planning but it's all complicated specially because of money, so it's not sure yet u_u

Hey! I have some news biggrin My bf already has the tickets and arranged all about the accommodation and stuff, so let's hope things will be alright with his journey =) He's going to come on May 26th. ^_^