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| Lost in thought? |
| Huh? |
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42% |
[ 3 ] |
| No. |
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14% |
[ 1 ] |
| What is thought? |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Shhhh! I am thinking! |
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42% |
[ 3 ] |
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 Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 8:46 am
Here's a new topic idea... I want to hear any joke that may be philosophical, scientific or theological in nature. Here are a couple I know:
Confused says: He who stands on toilet is high on pot.
If a tree falls on a man in the woods, does the man's screaming make any sounds if nobody is there to hear them?
"God does not exist." ~Nietsche
"Nietsche does not exist." ~God
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Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 6:01 pm
Hmn...the only one I can think of is a rambling thought process I came up with four years ago, when I was probably high on pot. Have fun.
So...assume you're a squirrel. Now assume you're crazy. So, you're crazy, which means you're nuts, right? So, since you're a squirrel, doesn't that mean you have to eat yourself? Or at least bury yourself underground until winter?
Oh, it's my 666th post...yay for evil...
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Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 2:25 pm
I've another Confucious one. It though I knew more, but apparently I don't.
"Woman who sits on judge's lap get honorable discharge"
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Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 2:51 pm
religious jokes
god: "any one seen my son, i sent him for milk ages ago"
god talking to chior members at church:"you suck" *throws a peanut*
my freind see''s jesus walking up to his bed and touches him on the head saying "be calm my son do not be afraid" my freind cries out "child molester" and cries for the rest of the night
angels like to frolic too! whee wheeeee
psychology jokes
the best psychologists are the ones who need help the most
all psychologists are witch hunters at heart or they are witches twisted
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Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 6:35 pm
What do you get when you mix philosophy and the Godfather?
And offer you can't understand.
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Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 9:36 pm
Confucious say "He who run behind car get exausted."
"He who run in front of car get tired."
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 7:23 pm
Man about to get out of the madhouse being interviewed:
-So what will you do when you get out?
-I guess I could write a book about the things I've seen in here.
-That sounds great.
-Yeah, and in my free time, I can continue being a teapot.
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 10:37 pm
why witches like insane asylums: "it's better then being burned at the stake"
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Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 12:15 am
If your feet smell and your nose is running, you're standing on your head.
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Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2005 8:14 pm
Descartes walks into a coffee shop and sits down. The waitress asks him if he wants anything. He responds "I don't think" and disapears.
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2005 4:23 pm
AriaStarSong Descartes walks into a coffee shop and sits down. The waitress asks him if he wants anything. He responds "I don't think" and disapears. Hillarious! And a joke with actual merit, wit, and real philisophical background. We just did Descartes in my intro class on Thursday and confused the crap outta everyone. It was amazing!
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Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 8:32 pm
The First Law of Philosophy
For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.
The Second Law of Philosophy
They're both wrong.
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Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 8:37 pm
A man does a good deed and as a reward his guardian angel appears and offers him the answer to any question he wishes to ask. But she says to take his time and she will return in two days. Well the man immediately realized he could become very rich: Which stock will go up the most over the next five years? Which horse will win the Kentucky Derby? Who will win the next Superbowl? etc. But then he thought, why waste this chance of a lifetime on money? After all, money is only a means to happiness. With the right question he can determine the secret of happiness itself! But the more he
thought about it, the more he worried about tricks the angel might play: for example, suppose he asked, "What will make me the happiest man in the universe?" And she answered, "Go live on planet Rigel III" - perhaps true, but perfectly useless.
So our careful questioner decided to take this problem to the nearest philosophy department for assistance. He put the problem to the chair. The chair loved the challenge and as it happens, they were having a departmental meeting that evening anyway, so he told the man to return the next day. When the man returned, the chair beamed and informed him that the department put its best minds together and came up with the best possible question to ask the angel - and naturally he told the man the question to ask.
The next day the angel appeared and asked, "Well, do you have a question for me?" "Yes," the man replied with a great deal of confidence in his voice. "What are the members of the following ordered pair: the first member of the pair is the best possible question I could ask you, and the second member of the pair is the answer to that question?" The angel smiled and said, "You know, you couldn't have asked me a better question. In fact the first member of the pair IS the question you just asked. But that means the second member is the answer I'm giving you now.
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Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:35 am
vorel_vargach A man does a good deed and as a reward his guardian angel appears and offers him the answer to any question he wishes to ask. But she says to take his time and she will return in two days. Well the man immediately realized he could become very rich: Which stock will go up the most over the next five years? Which horse will win the Kentucky Derby? Who will win the next Superbowl? etc. But then he thought, why waste this chance of a lifetime on money? After all, money is only a means to happiness. With the right question he can determine the secret of happiness itself! But the more he thought about it, the more he worried about tricks the angel might play: for example, suppose he asked, "What will make me the happiest man in the universe?" And she answered, "Go live on planet Rigel III" - perhaps true, but perfectly useless. So our careful questioner decided to take this problem to the nearest philosophy department for assistance. He put the problem to the chair. The chair loved the challenge and as it happens, they were having a departmental meeting that evening anyway, so he told the man to return the next day. When the man returned, the chair beamed and informed him that the department put its best minds together and came up with the best possible question to ask the angel - and naturally he told the man the question to ask. The next day the angel appeared and asked, "Well, do you have a question for me?" "Yes," the man replied with a great deal of confidence in his voice. "What are the members of the following ordered pair: the first member of the pair is the best possible question I could ask you, and the second member of the pair is the answer to that question?" The angel smiled and said, "You know, you couldn't have asked me a better question. In fact the first member of the pair IS the question you just asked. But that means the second member is the answer I'm giving you now.
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Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 8:36 pm
If a tree fell on top of me in the woods, and no one was around to hear it... would anyone hear my screams of agony before I died? twisted
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