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I'm posting this in the desperate hopes that I'm not alone in feeling the agony of indecision, moral ambiguity, and weird relations! Please post!
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I've come to the conclusion that there must be something wrong with me.

Okay, so I have this friend, ViVi (she's actually on here....), who out of the goodness of her heart, let my brother and me come to her parents' house and their Christmas Eve party. It was a ton of fun, and I truly enjoyed myself. I liked everyone I met there--an extended group of parents, children, cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts, and uncles. All of them were warm and understanding of our being there, and didn't really question it. I think I made a pretty good impression, or at least, not a bad one.

I end up in a room with this kid, a boy named Jackson. He's playing FFX, so naturally, I'm drawn in. We start chatting about games, strategy, and such. His mom comes in, and we banter. I like her, and I get the feeling that it's mutual. The night goes on, and we're still talking. Sure, I float around and merry-make, and he plays FPSs with the boys, but we always end up together, usually alone. I like him. A lot. He's cute, smart, funny. We have common interests. Including each other, I think (which I gathered from his invitation to go swimming, despite the weather, and the fact that he never put his shirt back on, or commented when I stared at him.

Normally, I would have no issue being alone with a guy I like (who likes me back?), but here's where things get sticky: there's four years between us. And he's younger. I'm still a minor, so...whatever happened would be okay, but he's still...young, even though he doesn't seem it. I remember, they were playing COD4, and Jackson was playing half-heartedly, and I was sitting next to him, us two on the couch. My treacherous hand moves to his knee, and I see him breathing heavily. It could be from the game, but it's not. I know it's not--I've been there. I move up his leg, and rub it. He makes no objection, no pause in the game. He could be focused on the game, but he's not. I've been there, too. He looks at me, his eyes unreadable with calmness. It shocks me. I move my hand off a bit, and he looks sad, like a little lost puppy, and goes back to playing the game. It moves back, and he moves his leg a little. My heart beat rises, his breath is shaky, my hand moves up, and he looks again, anticipation shining in his eyes, and I pull my hand back as if burned. He looks upset, and goes back to playing. I stare at his perfect nipples, the curve of his spine, wishing so hard that I could work up the nerve....

But I can't. I couldn't. Three things about this whole escapade shock (and horrify?) me, the fact that I like a guy who is so much younger than me, the fact that it's my friend's nephew (or my brother's friend's second-cousin, you choose), and that for whatever reason, I didn't make a move!

There must be something wrong with me.
-Andrew