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 Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 3:17 am
ok, I'm in my early 20s, and I just found a gray hair. There is no question about whether or not it was a gray hair. It was stark white. I know gray hair doesn't always necessarily effect people that are older, but I feel way too young to have gray hair. Curse the fact that women in my family gray early.
Now I have no problem with aging, and actually have no issues with gray hair. I always thought that gray hair showed a natural, mature beauty and actually found it a complimentary feature that came with older age. Because of this, I never even wanted to consider dying my hair because I felt that when I got older, I would want to show my gray hair with pride instead of shame. However, I don't want to be a young, single woman with gray hair because I think gray hair would wind up being a turn off for most guys. So this gray hair feature that I found recently is putting me in the position of a choice of not dying my hair and risk losing out on potential dates, or dye my hair and compromise my convictions on natural beauty.
And yes, I do realize that I only found one gray hair and my hair is not going to turn gray overnight. However, the appearance of gray hair at such an early age along with my family genetics essentially means I will have to be worried about gray hair earlier than most people.
So, what do you think about the situation I'm in, or gray hair in general?
Any tips or advice?
And do you think if someone is lovely and otherwise youthful looking however happens to have gray hair, do you think it would be a turn off for most guys when going out on a date?
edit - since it keeps getting brought up, my family is genetically predisposed to premature gray hair, especially women in my family. here is a run through of the women in my family and how young they started to gray:
grandmother - completely gray in her 20s, early 20s. had to dye way early
mother - gray late 20s-early 30s
aunt - gray by late 20s
other grandmother - gray mid-20s
great grandmother - started graying when she was 13/14 years old. was completely gray by her mid to late teens
also, i'm never stressed, i eat pretty healthy and i get enough nutrients in my body or at least the ones that would effect gray hair, i don't smoke, and i recently had a checkup and i don't have any strange illnesses. especially since genetics is referred to as the main cause of hair changes, it appears that my premature graying is based on my family's obvious genetic predisposition to premature gray hair.
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 3:30 am
It could be cos of stress?
I found a gray hair once...o.o I was 14. D:
But I think that was stress, there was only one, and I haven't got another ever since.
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 3:38 am
winterberries It could be cos of stress?
I found a gray hair once...o.o I was 14. D:
But I think that was stress, there was only one, and I haven't got another ever since. lol, that would be the case, but i'm never stressed. sadly, it appears to be genetics. every female member of my family gets gray hair early. a run through of every family member and their gray hair: grandmother - completely gray in her 20s, early 20s. had to dye way early mother - gray late 20s-early 30s aunt - gray by late 20s other grandmother - gray mid-20s great grandmother - well, lets not mention how young she started to gray also, i have noticed hair before that appeared to be gray, however, the gray in that hair content was very questionable so i mostly felt that the possible appearance of that gray hair was probably due to some other discoloration. it was still something i was concerned about due to the fact that every woman in my family has gray hair at an early age, however, due to the fact that the discoloration wasn't that noticeable, i felt no reason to be worried. but there is no question about this instance, i definitely found a gray hair. it's unfortunate, and i was really hoping i didn't receive this aspect of my family's construct. however, it is simply something i have to accept as part of my family's fate.
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:57 am
My best friend in high school's mum (and thusly she was very close to moi) was like that. She grayed when she was in her 20's and was so the rest of her life. I remember seeing her wedding album and not being perplexed at all by seeing her, young and with gray hair. I admit it was...I dont know..odd seeing such a young face with that gray hair..but at the same time it was most definitely her and it may have been more odd to see her without it.
I've always felt the same about graying naturally. My mum is getting to that stage and fighting tooth and nail dying her hair every month or so. As for the dating issue..if he's a keeper then it will come about sooner or later..and in your case sooner.
Have fun and dye your hair a variety of colors I say. You are young after all. But go natural every now and then to get in touch with that sophisticated side that embraces it. Its only hair, yet be glad you dont have a balding gene?
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 3:32 pm
actually, people often get gray hairs because they don't get enough calcium &iron. so, there is a teeny chance that it's not genetics, just lack of vitamins &stuff. =/
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:22 pm
@rivei - i have to completely agree with you, especially in terms of relationship advice. i am thinking that if the gray hair continues, i can use this as an excuse to get the highlights i always wanted, and to be honest i prefer the concept of highlighting my hair more than completely dying it. this decision is also based mainly on the fact that while i have no issues with gray hair, i was never a fan of the salt and pepper look and would prefer my hair to be either completely dark or completely gray. so, i'm thinking i might consider highlighting or dying my hair until my body and hair is ready to go completely gray, and then embracing natural hair then. it is a strategy i'm considering, not necessarily to avoid gray hair, but to avoid the infamous salt and pepper look that i'm not particularly fond of.
@pyromania - i doubt that's the reason either. i do eat pretty healthy for my age, and in terms of nutrients, calcium and iron are certainly not the nutrients i may be deficient on. so it seems, especially given my family history, that genetics seems to be the most likely reason as to why i have gray hair prematurely.
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 9:13 pm
I saw a child, maybe 13 or so with gray hair. As in half her head was gray. It was so odd to see.
If you want to keep natural beauty, pluck the hair. 3nodding Or, take another look at your view on natural beauty. What if yo were to dye your hair the exact color it is now? So basically you'd be coloring the gray hair? Would that be as bad as trying to change the entire head's color?
As for dating, I don't know if gray hair would hurt your chances with the guys.
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 10:08 pm
@lady kayura - lol, that's already pretty much what i meant. people that dye their hair to cover up gray hair don't usually pick a color that isn't their natural hair color, especially since it seems more obvious at a certain point that somebody is trying to cover up gray hair. i mean, remaining a natural hair color even if its dyed is a lot less noticeable then coloring hair a different color entirely. however, both these tactics are not really appealing to me because i do not want to cover up gray hair since i think it is a respectable aspect of natural beauty. but thanks for the advice.
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 6:35 am
Well, I just thought of option number three..
Shave your head. wink
Mind you, that may hurt the whole dating thing as guys generally like women with hair. But I've found a few that didn't mind. Of course, they were dating someone that then went bald.. so that's not the same as meeting someone bald.
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 6:36 am
 Grin Evilly says: D: Are you under alot of stress?
Cause that is pretty much the main reason why people twenty five and younger have grey hairs.
I have one, and I'm only fifteen. gonk I pulled it out. ♥♥♥
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 6:44 am
@lady kayura - lol, no thanks. i love my thick head of hair, and it'll probably be a pain trying to grow it back. shaving my head bald seems way too drastic especially since i had no issues with gray hair in the first place, and even had problems with covering it up completely with dye. as i said, gray hair doesn't bother me at all, rather it's the possible conflicts with future relationships that i have issues with. i'm not concerned about the gray hair, but whether my gray hair would negatively effect my dating possibilities. so, if i do change my hair appearance, then i will mainly be concerned with a subtle change to still maintain a youthful appearance as well as post pone the salt and pepper look i dislike so much. i think i might probably go with the idea i mentioned in a previous post of using this as an excuse to put in the highlights i always wanted, or exploring other new unique hair options until the salt and pepper look fades out and my body can go completely gray. i mean my hair is already changing color, so i might as well try something new with my hair as long as it's changing. i'd rather explore what are meant to be temporary options until my hair goes gray, instead of having to deal with the salt and pepper look i dislike so much, as well as try highlights and other unique hair options that are considered light coloration instead of a drastic dye treatment to my hair.
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 7:47 am
wow, people seem to be more in denial about my gray hair than i am, lol. but i already addressed the issue of stress in a previous post: memarcus lol, that would be the case, but i'm never stressed. sadly, it appears to be genetics. every female member of my family gets gray hair early. a run through of every family member and their gray hair: grandmother - completely gray in her 20s, early 20s. had to dye way early mother - gray late 20s-early 30s aunt - gray by late 20s other grandmother - gray mid-20s great grandmother - well, lets not mention how young she started to gray edit - since people are still unsure about how young my family starts graying, my great grandmother started graying when she was 13/14 years old and was completely gray by her mid to late teens the argument seems very similar to men that state that even though every member of their family has experienced premature balding, somehow their premature balding isn't based on their family's obvious genetic trait, but rather happens to be hair falling out because of stress. while stress may be a factor in hair changes, most hair changes are based on genetics, and the fact that i'm never stressed and the fact that every single woman in my family grays early seems to point more to my family's obvious genetic traits in regards to gray hair. since it keeps getting brought up, i think i'm going to edit my first post.
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 1:47 pm
This entire topic reminds me of the Dove 'pro-age' commercial. With a bunch of older ladies, all looking beautiful, sporting grayed hair.
I can understand the salt and pepper thing. But even then I think certain people can pull it off very well. If I were in your shoes; I would do whatever my heart felt. Go for highlights if that's what feels right. Its your body and you wont feel comfortable in it if you're trying to conform to other's standards of beauty.
No idea where that last bit spewed from. But you seem like an absolute sweetheart and I highly doubt you'll having any dating issues. ;3
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:12 pm
Rivei
This entire topic reminds me of the Dove 'pro-age' commercial. With a bunch of older ladies, all looking beautiful, sporting grayed hair.
I can understand the salt and pepper thing. But even then I think certain people can pull it off very well. If I were in your shoes; I would do whatever my heart felt. Go for highlights if that's what feels right. Its your body and you wont feel comfortable in it if you're trying to conform to other's standards of beauty.
No idea where that last bit spewed from. But you seem like an absolute sweetheart and I highly doubt you'll having any dating issues. ;3wow, thank you so much for the advice. it was very sweet and it really helped especially since it gave me a lot to consider. and i think you're absolutely right about the salt and pepper look, i think some people can carry it off very nicely. i think cruella de ville gave the whole hair style a bad name with her part black and white hair and her demonic puppy obsession, lol i thought of highlights as a nice middle ground because it's a very subtle change and one that i already considered. i only considered this tactic after a reminder that i was still young and didn't necessarily need to embrace gray hair completely right away. however, there were reasons that i decided never to make even these subtle changes to my hair, and i even have reservations about this method as well. i guess i'm starting to realize whether i consider to experiment with new hairstyles or allow my hair to grow naturally it should be for my own best interest and not based on the superficial notions of others, even if it does happen to effect my dating style. but i think you're also absolutely right that if somebody is really worth dating they will be more concerned about my personality then with something so cosmetic as hair color. i'm still a bit unsure and confused at this moment exactly what i might consider doing with my hair, but the assistance you gave me was greatly appreciated and incredibly helpful.
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:32 pm
Maybe your hair is just supposed to be white/grey. It doesn't mean that your old or anything. My dad had white/grey hair when he was a kid because that was his hair color. He still has white hair now. Your hair will change colors throughout your life and will be many different colors.
also, Are you apsilutely sure that it was your hair?? Not a hair that was just on your hair??
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