|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 5:04 pm
Ari stood at the edge of the tribe's forest, just before the sacred clearing, where he prayed to the Moon Fox. He had been praying recently, trying to figure out what should be done about Anjafey. Of course, he didn't expect any answer in return, but even just thinking over everything as he prayed did help some.
Rendo had decided to not try to stop the unmating, thus leaving Ari with no reason to stand in the way of that.
Still, though, there were plenty of things he wanted to speak with Anjafey about--things he had been planning since before the talk, and now, things that had arisen from the talk.
He didn't think that Rendo was attempting to sabotage anything by spreading lies, not after Rendo had chosen not to stand in the way of the unmating. And Rendo ought to know that whatever he said to Ari would not be spread around as rumors.
Still, Ari needed to verify the truth of some things for himself, before speaking with Kazuki about possible actions.
He had to verify that the information he had was reliable, before doing anything about it, especially knowing that Kazuki and Anjafey were friends. He couldn't worry his mate with false accusations.
No matter how much he want to take action immediately.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 5:13 pm
Anjafey warily walked towards Aru, instintively knwoing that she wasn't going to like anything he would say to her. For some time, he had been sending her strange looks, avoiding her...everything under the moon he could do to make her anxious.
With some hesistance, she had waited for an opportunity to speak with him in private, and it had finally come.
Not speaking, she sat several feet away from the Elder, just barely in line of sight.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 8:43 pm
"Anjafey," Ari spoke, his voice firm and commanding, "come forward."
He wanted to be able to see her in the light of the moon, to judge her reactions as well as her words. Violet eyes watched her intently, waiting for her to obey the command.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 8:50 pm
Anjafey stiffened, unused to being addressed as one on trial. At least, that's what it seemed like. However, she was still obedient to Ari, and with a heavy sigh, she stepped forward so that her face was illuminated by a beam of moonshine coming through the trees.
Unsure what she had done, but knowing that Rendo had to be involved, Anja looked up to meet Ari's gaze. "What did he tell you?" she asked, a facade of calm masking large amounts of frustration. Would Rendo never learn to use his mouth properly? No doubt it was a story he had convuluted horribly that put Ari in this mood.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 9:12 pm
Ari made not of Anjafey's seeming uncertainty, unsure of how to interpret it for the moment. It could mean that what Rendo said was untrue.
Or it could mean that Anjafey was more trouble than he thought, if she knew that he had spoken with Rendo, and yet what ought to be obvious was not coming to her.
"Rendo tells me that you nearly attacked a kit. His niece, I believe he said. That the only thing that kept you from actually harming her was his physical intervention. How do you, as a carer for this tribe, explain that?" Ari inclined his head downward slightly, to stare directly into her eyes. His face as expressionless as a mask; only his eyes gave a hint to the depths of emotions he was feeling.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 8:20 pm
All at once, Anja's face morphed into a mixture of surprise and anger. Didn't Ari know this? They had talked about this some time ago.
"I have told you about that before, Ari," Anjafey said quietly. "Yes, I almost attacked my former niece. Had it not been for Rendo in the first place, I never would have approached her. At that time I was...unstable at best. I was caught between Rendo wanting me to get to know Michi and the girl's blatant disrespect. Believe me when I say that I regret that terribly. I know my limit now, and I know now when I should stay away from others. Perhaps, if I hadn't forced myself to try and be others, this wouldn't have happened.
But I have separated myself from the source of that stress, as you know now. It may seem horrid and unnatural, but I am truly happier without Rendo in my life."
Anja sighed and looked away, squinting into the light of the moon. "I am not trying to excuse my actiosn there by blaming it all on Rendo. I was in the wrong, and I know that now."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:12 pm
((Did they? I don't remember them going over this...I dunno. I'm loosing track of stuff. Feel free to let me know where if they did.))
"Yet Rendo was in no way, shape, or form connected to the Kyofu incident, am I correct? You now have two instances of violence against you--one where you were quite successful in harming the victim, and one attempt at violence against a kit. And yet here you are, a carer for the tribe." Ari had thought the Kyofu thing was behind them. He truly had. They had spoken about it, dealt with it, and moved on--or so he had thought. Now, though, it seemed that he might be mistaken.
"No, you should not blame Rendo for your actions. Your actions are wholly your own. You are the one who allowed her disrespect to bother you to the point where you nearly physically attacked her. Or do you deny that claim?
"I believe that as a carer, you ought to already know this, but allow me to clarify, anyway: others do not always act how we want, kits especially. They are young, and do not know better. As a carer, you have chosen as your duty to raise kits, and teach them proper behavior, and to follow the ways of the tribe. Ways that, as I hope you still remember, include peacefulness and non-violence.
"And then there is your record, as previously mentioned."
His voice was quiet and low, yet the passion behind it was heard easily enough. He walked closer and closer to Anjafey with each word, finally ending nose-to-nose with her.
Or he would be nose-to-nose with her, were it not for the extra foot he had on her. Instead he kept his head lowered, to continue to stare her directly in the eyes. His face was still devoid of emotion, the only signs of it in his voice, his words, and his eyes.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:40 pm
(( Discussion)) Anjafey backed up; not because Ari frightened her, for few could do that, but having him that close to her was exacerbating her stress level. He was reopening old wounds now, confronting her about things they had already spoken over.
"I've told you before," she started in a low tone, "that I did not start out completely stable, and that, for a time, I reverted back to that. Yes, Rendo is connected to the incident with Kyoufu. He is the one who drove me to the brink of murder in the first place."
She started to pace back and forth in front of Ari as she spoke, thinking over the variety of things her former mate had done that had slowly chipped at her self-control. The comments about her weight, the disrespect for Kazuki, and of course his twisting of facts. He had said so many things in a way entirely different from the orginal version.
Exhaling loudly, Anjafey quit her pacing, but kept her back to Ari and looked at the forest floor beneath her. "Do you honestly think I feel no regret for those attacks, Ari? There are days when the events replay, over and over and over, in my mind, until I can hardly tell the past from the present. To this day, I hate myself for harming Kyoufu, and almost harming Michi. I am a Carer and a member of Lunarie, there is little way to excuse my actions, save to say that I was having a mental breakdown."
She knew for a fact no such breakdown would happen again. She had healed herself when she emerged from that state of irrationality, and had even gone so far as to separate from Rendo. Her mental stability was fully intact, yet the damage had been done, and Ari's trust for her dashed.
"Would you like me to leave the tribe, Ari?" she asked quietly, her eyes still locked on the leaves beneath her paws. "If you are bringing these topics up again, some time after they have already been discussed, you must have taken Rendo's side. Only he could manage to bring things up again and make you become angry about them once more. And, if you have taken his side as I assume, you will feel no trust for me, I'm sure, for I can quite imagine the dark picture Rendo painted for you. If you feel animosity, I should not stay, for it creates problems for you and splits the tribe. I have caused damage before, Ari, I won't be the cause of it again."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 9:13 pm
((Ah. And that's why 'Rea shouldn't do these things at 11 at night. Even though here I am, typing up a reply past 11. I'm such a hypocrite.))
Yes. No. Maybe. He didn't know what to reply to Anjafey's question. He kept thinking of the details of what had happened with Kyoufu, how Anjafey had been a loyal member of the tribe from the first, the incident with the kit--Michi, how she was one of Kazuki's friends, the complications the unmating was sure to raise, then back again to how she was Kazuki's friend.
"I would need Kazuki's permission for that," Ari answered at last, almost certain that nothing short of Anjafey harming one of their own children would cause Kazuki to want to banish her.
There, though, lay one of the main problems.
"Unless and until we are able to sort this out, however, I request that you take a break as a carer, and stay away from my children."
He was glad that he had raised Sigal almost entirely on his own; that this fox before him had almost no hand in the raising of his eldest daughter. He was beginning to fear how Sigal might have developed, had she been under Anjafey's care.
"So you blame the Kyoufu incident on Rendo, too. Now, forgive me if I'm misinterpreting your words, but you are essentially saying that it is entirely Rendo's fault you nearly murdered another? In the case of Michi, however stupid it is, I can see how Rendo might have had an effect on that. But Kyoufu? The reason I remember being stated for that one was that he called you and the others names, and that he needed to be taught respect.
"Also, if I remember correctly, this was prior to your relationship going sour, so misplaced aggression can't be to blame. Unless I'm mistaken?"
The last was a challenge for her to prove otherwise.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 12:43 pm
((And now to try and remember what I had Anja say last night...))
Anjafey groaned and shook her head. Nothing she said anymore was coming out right. She'd been unprepared for confrontation of this magnitude, and it left her reeling to form thoughts the right way.
Then came the largest blow of all; Ari did not trust her with his children. Had they been born around the time when the events in question occurred, Anja would have agreed without a problem. But things had changed...
Sighing, she did not protest. These were his children, and decisions on raising them were up to him. "So be it," she whispered before moving on.
"I've told you already, I do not blame Rendo for everything," Anja stated, becoming frustrated with the circuitous way this conversation was going. "I admit to being unstable at the time. All of us, save maybe Akuma, had never even considered murdering before, not truly. One had just given birth to children and couldn't find their father, I was confused about Rendo, the other had suffered far too much abuse in her childhood...things became hysteric...."
She thought of how to phrase this. "Rendo may not have pushed me into the clearing, Ari, but he did push me into that state of mind. You claim our problems with our relationship do not extend back that far. All that tells me is that I was a much better actor than I thought.
From the time after Sahari was born, things changed, and I began to see Rendo in a different light. The stupid remarks, the tactless jokes, comments on my weight...all of it piled up on me until I could no longer think straight. Rendo was still perfectly happy, and I tried to convince myself I was, forcing myself to act as if I enjoyed all of that mindless banter.
I tortured myself with it for a time, Ari. I knew that wanting separation from a mate was nowhere near socially accepted, and I could not bear that. Whenever I found my guard slipping, whenever I came close to venting about Rendo, I mentally hit myself into silence. For awhile, perhaps I did still love him...but it faded. Rapidly."
Finally, Anja turned to face Ari again, although she looked down to try and hide the pain and regret that she had long tohught forgotten. "I do not expect you to understand, Ari, for I know there are very few who can. All I know is that yes, I did go willingly into that clearing to defend a friend's dignity. But I honestly do not think I would have participated in attempted murder, given in to the mob mentality, if I was in the state of mind I am in now, or was when I was still a kit."
She only hoped she was conveying things correctly.
((Yea...the original was better. ><))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 7:00 pm
Ari could see that pursuing the argument would only lead them to going in circles. She had accepted what he requested, and so he would not continue the debate.
He did not truly believe Anjafey's claim that she was now wholly healed being separated from Rendo. If life with Rendo had been truly traumatic enough for Anjafey to be driven to near murder once, and some possible form of physical harm, he doubted that suddenly everything was fine. Even if everyone of Anjafey's problems was the fault of Rendo. (Which she denied, yet still, to Ari, it seemed Anjafey was implying the exact opposite: that without Rendo, her life would have been completely perfect, no problems whatsoever.)
"I will hold you to that, then. If I find you have gone against my wishes..." Ari let the threat dangle. Anjafey was a dutiful member of the tribe (mostly, baring the two violent incidents, and the current issue with the unmating), so Ari did not believe she would go against his wishes. Still, he would take precautions to assure that his children were safe.
"Now, about the unmating. Rendo has decided that he will not stand in the way of it. As such, I have no reason to stand in the way, either." Ari waited to see how Anjafey responded to that, before he would continue.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:51 pm
Anjafey was very much aware that everything she was saying was coming out wrong, and that she was even contradicting herself. But how could she explain to Ari what she could not make into tangible thoughts in her own mind? She was positive she would not revert back to that vioelnt state; she was positive she was happier away from Rendo, and she was positive he had been a major catalyst in her downward spiral. Yet, no matter how hard Anjafey tried, she just wasn't making sense.
"I will not stray out of line again, Elder Ari," Anja murmured, no longer feeling that it was appropriate to be on a first-name basis with her Elder. She continued to look down at the ground, if only to avoid Ari's skepticism and potential judgement.
Secretly, she was glad Rendo hadn't tried to fight the unmating; it would have been entirely too messy for her taste, and not fair for Ollure, who would be caught in the middle. "Thank you, Elder," she said quietly, not sure how else to respond.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 6:23 pm
Gratitude, but distance as well. Ever since he had taken up this position, this was the first one someone spoke so formally to him. Someone within his own tribe, at that.
It was...uncomfortable, to say the least. Yet he wasn't sure that he wanted to tell Anjafey to call him by his name, either. After everything that had happened, after everything she had done completely counter to the beliefs of the tribe, did he really want that from her?
It was a difficult position, one he had no experience with. The best thing, he finally decided, was not do or say anything about it. He would spend too long thinking, and there were other things he wanted to cover.
"However, I want you to carefully consider everything before re-mating. I will not argue that there were not problems in your relationship with Rendo. Yet what was it that caused you to finally leave? From the way I see it, meeting Ollure, and almost immediately falling in love with her. Part of your problem with Rendo seems to be that you jumped into things too quickly. And yet, here you are, poised to make the same mistake again. As your elder, let me warn you: I will not be so forgiving of your mistakes in the future. Think carefully of who you want to spend the rest of your life with, Carer Anjafey, because I swear to you, next time I will hold you to the promise you make to your mate, to remain with them for the rest of both of your lives."
As her calling him by his title was odd, so was it odd for him to refer to her by her title as well. Still, it seemed best. He was completely serious about every word he said, and he wanted her to understand that.
He purposely made no mention of how Ollure was not a member of the tribe yet; it was difficult enough to deal with Anjafey, without having to worry about how all of this could influence so much with Ollure.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 10:53 pm
Anjafey didn't fail to notice his use of her...title....and it made her flinch, though she supposed she deserved it for everything she'd done at the tribe's expense lately. She listened carefully to him, but felt too....low....pathetic....she couldn't think of a good word for it, but whatever it was, it was causing her to fidget with the jewelry and piercings adorning her body. The way Ari spoke to her made her feel like a disobedient kit who had tried to escape the safe areas to go exploring on their own.
When he finished, she remained quiet for well over a minute, staring down at her paws. Eventually, she exhaled loudly and craned her neck up to meet Ari's gaze, no longer ashamed.
"I did not jump into the relationship I have with Ollure, though it seems like it, I'm sure. Ollure is what I've been looking for in Rendo and others before him...Ari. She's everything I knew I wanted, but refused myself after I mated to Rendo. Perhaps I seem the foolish youngling jumping about in matters of the heart, but....but when I found Ollure that night, something inside me I hadn't realized I'd been supressing sprung back to life. And I tried to fight it back down, truly I did. I did not start that night wishing to hurt Rendo, and I didn't leave that night wishing to either. I did think on it this time, and this time...there is a major difference from Rendo. Then, I was content to feel like I was in love, but there was no certainty within me. It's different this time, and no one's going to convince me otherwise, even if Ollure is not accepted to the tribe."
That reminded her of something, and for a moment, Anjafey looked stricken. "Speaking of...please, don't let my actions from long ago affect your choice with Ollure. She told me she was interested in the tribe before we made any decisions. I will accept your decision if you decide not to admit her, but...oh, I don't know. Aside from my feelings for her, I never know what to think anymore. I'm sure I'm stable now and that I love Ollure, but it's been awhile since I really talked for long periods of time to anyone; it's making it hard to form statements that make sense."
She returned her gaze to her paws, feeling frustrated at her inability to convery the most basic of thoughts.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2007 7:15 pm
"Just because the intent was not there, does not make your actions any more excusable. At least you have the sense to realize that you did harm Rendo."
Ari watched as Anjafey seemed to panic at the thought that this could influence Ollure's likelihood of being accepted into the tribe. The carer seemed to care for Ollure now, but back then, she had seemed to care for Rendo as well. Who was to say this would not end in a similar fashion?
"Anything concerning Ollure's likelihood of being accepted into the tribe is a matter that is only between Kazuki and myself. Of course, you, as well as the rest of the tribe, will know once a decision has been made, but the whys of such things are of no concern of yours.
"Remember what I said, Carer; you will take your next, and final, life mate, for life. We have spoken enough. Now go."
Ari still questioned whether Anjafey was stable, the reason why he had forbidden her from caring for his children, and asked her to step down from her position of a carer, even if temporarily. And this doubt cast doubt on everything else she had said as well.
Obviously, case of Ollure's desire to join the tribe would be a unique one. But how so, Ari was not quite certain yet.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
