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 Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 12:14 pm
Feel free to start your joke or jokes for week 3 whenever you are ready, and congratulations to God-s Hitman for winning in week 2.
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 7:43 pm
Why Did Michael Jackson Rush To Macys?
He Heard That Boy's Pants Were 1/2 Off.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:43 am
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy,
walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his
eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need
cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have
mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband.
That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us
in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not!
You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of
her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well
now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 12:04 pm
You might be a redneck if ...When you put your hunting boots on you only get them on the right feet 50% of the time.
Your idea of a neighborhood watch program is tuning into "America's Most Wanted".
You own more than two clappers.Rules for hunting lawyersWashington state attorney season and bag limits1300.01 GENERAL
1. Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
BAG LIMITS
1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor 3
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 5
4. Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
5. Honest Attorney EXTINCT
6. Cut-throat 2
7. Back-stabbing Whiner 2
8. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2
9. Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 bounty
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:31 pm
All of your jokes were funny. I will decide later tonight who the winner will be.
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Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 3:48 pm
God-s Hitman Why Did Michael Jackson Rush To Macys? He Heard That Boy's Pants Were 1/2 Off. This was funny, but not new enough.
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Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 3:50 pm
Omen Aesir You might be a redneck if ...When you put your hunting boots on you only get them on the right feet 50% of the time.
Your idea of a neighborhood watch program is tuning into "America's Most Wanted".
You own more than two clappers.Rules for hunting lawyersWashington state attorney season and bag limits1300.01 GENERAL
1. Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
BAG LIMITS
1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor 3
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 5
4. Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
5. Honest Attorney EXTINCT
6. Cut-throat 2
7. Back-stabbing Whiner 2
8. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2
9. Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 bounty This was funny but too long, make it just a little bit shorter.
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Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 3:53 pm
Demonlady33 A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription." Congratulations demon lady you are my new winner! Yours was not too long and not too short. Plus I can really picture this, especially the pharmacist putting up a fuss.
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