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 Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 11:40 pm
I have three. My Boys are 16 months apart and now 13 and 14 years old... and I thought having two in cloth diapers was tough! LOL We now have a 5 year old girl as well.
Raising two so close was easy in some respects, the 17 month old was smart as a whip and love to help with the baby running and getting mommy a diaper or sitting quietly while I read a book and fed baby. There was lots of love for all. They were the best of friends, except when they were squabbling over a toy and with a spimple distraction and adding "special toys" that were not for sharing (a teddy or a special car) helped.
Once they hit school crise of "No one hits my brother but ME!" rang acrcoss the playground... the ultimate sign of brotherly love and solidaridy. Kids will scuffle from time to time, they still agrue sometimes. Sitting them on opposite pieces of furnature and telling them that they were not allowed up until they BOTH gave eachotehr permission was a gem of Barbara Coloroso (SP?) that saved my sanity.
The addition of a new step-parent and later a new sibling was interesting, one loved his sister immidiatly and unconditionally (he had beenhere before and knew there was still lots of love to go around) and the other one still had issues to work out. All in all though he is work on bonding with her and she loves him regardless ( I suspect that the oldest and the youngest will allways rally around their brother with tons of love when he needs it!)
It has always been important to me to give each one individual attention at some point in the day, be it with homework, or a bed time story or just getting to stay up for an hour more to talk or watch a show we both like. Each one shares an interest of mine or Dad's that we try and cultivate and spent time doing or discussing. Having my mom around helps too as she like to spend one on one time with them giving me more time to spend with the other two and giving them more love from another direction. When she takes all three it gives my husband and I time to be a couple.
All in all I hated being an only child, sometimes looking at my three I am glad I was but most of the time I am reminded of just how lonely I was most of the time.
Ultimatly it is up to you to choose, but I am glad I have more than one.
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Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 7:58 pm
heart heart those are some priceless ideas and advice that you gave me. and i'll definitely keep it in mind heart thanks ^^
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Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 9:13 pm
We have one child now and while my husband would like another one I am not so sure if it is a good idea. However I'm the one with the IUD. I can choose to have it removed at any time or to keep it in.
Eventually when I feel like I could handle another one I'll cnsider it again.
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 10:40 am
I'm currently pregnant with my 3rd and final. I had thought #2 was going to be it because after all the bestrest and preterm labor my husband and I just didnt want to risk it. Well, shortly after our 2nd turned one my husband said "If we are going to have a 3rd, we should do it now or not at all" Well. I had always wanted 3 kids, but I did have to think about it. Did I WANT 2 kids so close together? Could I HANDLE 2 kids so close together? My oldest was 3 weeks or so shy of turning 3 when her little sister was born, my 2nd will be 2 months shy of being 2 when her little brother is born.
I think, had our 2nd been a little boy, I would have not considered having a 3rd. But I am very happy and very much in love with my two girls. They are both different in so many ways that it's sometimes slightly frustrating for me. I was afraid of course, while I was pregnant with my second that I wouldnt have enough love to give to them both.. but it turns out that I still love them both as much, although there are pleanty of different things to love about them. My youngest is so funny and outgoing, while my oldest is so grownup, thoughtful and caring.. Sure they get on eachothers nerves every so often, they fight about toys here and there.. But at the end of all that.. when no matter what they argued about, or fussed over earlier is pushed aside and the youngest one comes up and just hugs her older sister.. I have no regrets about having two, and I have a feeling I wont regret having a 3rd either..
although Im scared.. all of my nephews are so ... wild behaved.. well except for the youngest, but he's only 3 weeks old (lol) I am just worried that all little boys are like that, wild, don't listen. Spit, hit, kick, pull hair, pinch, yell.. you name it.. I'm more afraid for my little girls than anything else.. I don't want their little brother being a jerk at them like my nephews are to them..
I'm hopeful though that he wont turn out... so much like my nephews.. who seem not to be able to handle any other kids. I don't remember my little brother being that way, and I had to take care of him alot.. so.. maybe it wont turn out so bad.
Anyway, 3 is it for us.. now we are having the debate on who is going to get snipped.. myself or my husband. I'm trying to talk him into it, since it's much less invasive and painful for him than it would be for me.. but it's okay. I just don't plan on being on hormonal birth control for the rest of my life! razz
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 10:06 pm
you are wise lisa, i have a son, and even though he's only 5 months he's so wild and rambuncious...i can barely handle it sweatdrop and i keep swaying big time on the issue of another...i'm not sure my bf can handle another (we'll wait til harley is two or so...but i'm worried with how active harley is as it is xp but then i see all the little girls all cute and dressed up gonk i want one! crying but with my luck i'd just have another rowdy little boy...after i saw how stressed my bf got/gets with our son, i think about getting my tubes tied...but i'm only 20 things may change in a couple years. but if we don't have one in two years then i don't want another at all. xd but i guess all this is part of being a parent the worries...and all the unknowns and accidents *scared* i haven't broken any bones in my body...and didn't have any stitches until i gave birth to harley and i know with boys...it happens...but i'm so afraid. worried. that's so scary sweatdrop bah i'm rambling when i should be sleeping gonk
i'll write more when i'm awake sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 12:04 am
Not all boys are rowdy. My oldest is, and has always been bookish and quiet. He loves to sit and read, play vidio games or just sit and talk about stuff. Sure he liked play and run around in the back yard with a ball or the park, but he was never what anyone would call rowdy! I am proud to hear my boys (now 14 and 13) described as well manered and polite (even by their cynical ol' grampa). Ya they get loud sometimes, but have you ever been in a room full of 5 year old excited girls? The squeals and screaming (and these are joyfull noises) is ungodly! My daughter attended a birthday party after being off school sick for a week and the squeals of delight that greeted her arrival were deafening! I am glad she is well liked but... Lets just say the dear ladies at Mayka Cuddly earn their pay and may God bless them for doing it!
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 10:46 pm
Hey kid I am an old papa, and I love my son beyond reason and my wife. If I could have more children I would love it. Childern are the essence of life, with out them there is not much purpose. To through away a child is wrong to me. To help children grow is beautiful no mater the head aches. My wife and I have been married 39 forevers and up and down on matters but when it came to the kids we gave them everything we could even when it hurt. Neither one of us regrets it either. Ceymore.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2005 2:13 pm
whee domokun that's good to hear <3
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 11:28 am
So far I've only got one baby boy, who is almost two. That isn't much to go on as far as ease of child-rearing, but based on all my nieces and nephews I'd say the difficulty involved in raising any child has a lot to do with the personalities involved. I've had a really easy time of it, I think, with a laidback little guy who's very thoughtful and loves to share.
My oldest sister's oldest son has been intent on making everyone follow his rules from day one. He's easier to deal with now that he's older, but I remember his two-year-old stage with a sigh of relief that it's over. Her second two kids (one girl, then one boy) are much less rules-oriented, but were pretty clingy. They've mostly grown out of that stage at this point, and her fourth (final) child is a sociable little butterball, and his siblings adore him, particularly the former baby. Except for the sports schedules, I think she's coasting pretty well now, and she's still nursing the baby.
My other sister's oldest (girl) is a very opinionated princess fanatic. Usually well-behaved but if she doesn't like what's going on it's a split decision whether she'll break something or take over and do it all herself (even though she's only in kindergarten). More or less easy. Her second (boy) is prone to disgusting boy tricks like dunking his own head in the toilet, but responds really well to discipline and loves his sisters and mom with fierce loyalty. Her third (final, accidental, girl) is giving her a run for her money, trying to be independent way too early (trying to stop nursing at 10 months because she's BIG). Now that my sister has recovered from the shock of an unplanned baby, she's got her work cut out just trying to slow her babies down on their rush to grow up!
My point is, at any point in time, you could probably hear any of the three of us complaining about being overwhelmed. But honestly you'll never catch us feeling like we'd like to get rid of any of the kids. Your next kid could be a terror in diapers. Your next kid could also be a sweet cuddly angel. Most likely, it will be both. But it would be a shame to miss out on the cuddles. heart
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 6:18 pm
hi Cherrie, I have two kids who are 3.5 years apart. my older son and I are closer, but he's not my favorite per se. they are really different people and they each have very different lovable aspects about them. they do really love having each other, I think. they are quite close to each other and are for the most part rivalry-free. my older son has always been a great big brother and a huge help with and to his little brother. now, the downsides are.... it can be exhausting, and expensive, and sometimes I think I'm a headless chicken, but it's been very rewarding having two. will I have any more? most likely not!!! take care.
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 6:54 pm
i Cant say much on the topic as i am currently pregnant with my first but i think i would rather have them further apart me and my sister were only 2 years apart and o dont get along with her very well but my brother and i are 6 years apart an we get on great but then i will cross that bridge f i get to it
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 9:34 pm
Krystlanna Not all boys are rowdy. My oldest is, and has always been bookish and quiet. He loves to sit and read, play vidio games or just sit and talk about stuff. Sure he liked play and run around in the back yard with a ball or the park, but he was never what anyone would call rowdy! I am proud to hear my boys (now 14 and 13) described as well manered and polite (even by their cynical ol' grampa). Ya they get loud sometimes, but have you ever been in a room full of 5 year old excited girls? The squeals and screaming (and these are joyfull noises) is ungodly! My daughter attended a birthday party after being off school sick for a week and the squeals of delight that greeted her arrival were deafening! I am glad she is well liked but... Lets just say the dear ladies at Mayka Cuddly earn their pay and may God bless them for doing it!
but they both eat like hogs!!!
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Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 11:35 am
With the right mindset ..multiples can be amazing! Of course you need to take your finances and living style into consideration. However if you can afford it, and want another go on ahead.
I have 9 year old, a 4 and a 3 year old. Five years between the first two, and a year and ten days between the last. I also take care of my sisters twins, who are 3 months younger than my middle child and 9 months older than my baby. In my house, its not unusual to have around 10 kids...my five and then friends. After the first three its all cake, for me anyway.
I had serious doubts about having any more children after my first, hence 5 year difference. My husband an i talked it over, and i had my norplant taken it. 3 months later i was pregnant. The norplant worked great for me, and i didnt have any effects. Ultimately, the choice relies with you. your body, your choice. No one can make you have any more children than you want. Talk to your OB/GYN and see what he/she recommends. May you find peace and comfort with your choice.
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Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:32 pm
Has 3 - all girls - ages 15, 10, and 5... it might be easier some days if they weren't so far apart in age. Being a single mom with little to no support makes it tough. But I couldn't imagine not having them in my life.
One of the things I've learned in life: you don't know how strong you really are, until you're faced with tough situations... some days I look back at some of the things I've been through and wonder how I did it at all. Hang in there Cherrie, your heart will tell you what to do 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 5:42 pm
Before metting hubby, I didn't want kids at all. Labour seemed too painful and I'd had no experience with kids so it was scary to consider. I only have an older brother, we are 3.5 years apart and not close.
I got married when I was a few months pregnant, as I had been engaged for at least a year or so and we figured we may as well get married a bit sooner than we planned! Anyways, I have miss almost 2 now and hubby and I tlaked seriously about having the next one - since meeting him I had changed immensely and wanted a big family! He is the middle child of 3 boys, all 2 years apart. He is only close to his younger bro. Anyways.. we would love 4 or 5 kids...
And I am 21 right now, and we figured now is a good time to try for number 2.. took a lot fo thought as I want to be a working mum and travelling to visit my parents interstate will be even more difficult than it is now - I actually haven't managed to visit since they moved. We didn't want miss 2 to be an only child so we figured we should take the plunge. We've only been trying for a few weeks. He would have loved to try for #2 earlier but I was way too scared. I wonder how I'll deal with it but I know most mums just figure it out.
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