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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 1:28 pm
-banks being robbed- well i guess my kids are not going to college now
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 3:20 pm
-your most trusted subordinate chops her own arm off and attaches it to a dog to distract your pursuer- That didnt cost you an arm and a leg I guess
-someone is about to chop your head off with a rusty hacksaw- Wow this place is dirty
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 3:35 pm
-God is passing Judgement- "I can't BELIEVE this! Jesus, you b*****d!!"
-Fiancee gets raped- "Well, I guess I can't marry you now that you're impure..."
Wow that was a horrible one.... Um.... >.>
-A squirrel gets caught in your chimney- "This sure is NUTTY!"
...I tried to redeem myself DX
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:18 pm
*Bank car crashes into a tree* Hmm... Guess money does grow on trees.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:41 pm
-you become part of an insurance scam- It was worth it to not get injured
-you get shot in the leg- I have a shooting pain in my legs now.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 7:38 pm
*Walk down the street and suddenly an earthquake starts* I blame bean burritos.
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:56 pm
*volcanic ash rain* oh, look children. snow!
*celebrity goes on homicidal rampage with automatic rifle* everybody close your eyes and make a wish on the shooting star!
*lunch lady poisons school lunches with cyanide* mmm, smells like cherries
*girl gets raped* she can get it!
*guy gets raped* ooh, he fancy, huh?
*person is on fire* it's gettin hot in here, so take of all their clothes
*about to be robbed by armed man* i can tell that we are gonna be friends biggrin
*friend gets mauled by bear on camping trip* he really wanted a bear claw, huh?
(i know, a lot of these are vague references, with some inside jokes)
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:49 pm
-a modern day jack the ripper is about to rape and murder you and your girlfriends- Wow your quite the lady killer aren't you?
-your about to be crushed by a giant- I really hate midgets
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:01 pm
'House is on fire'
Anyone want to roast some wieners and marshmallows?
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:04 pm
*boat is sinking and you're with your GF/BF*
So, wanna play Titanic? You be the iceberg.
*Murderous aliens land and aim their guns at you*
*flip them off* ET go home.
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:30 pm
Meaty_Albatross *Murderous aliens land and aim their guns at you* *flip them off* ET go home. That was a geat one!
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Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2021 8:56 pm
*A tsunami is heading towards your beach house*
Who wants to play "Go Fish"?
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