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A Question About Facing a Twilight Fan

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Planetary Seas
Crew

PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 2:40 pm


This is a pretty quick topic that arose from a debate we frequently have in book club. Sorry if it's a repeat of something that's popped up before.


I've joined book club, and our leader, a friend of mine, is in love with Twilight. Currently we're reading Dracula and Twilight frequently pops up. We all agree that in Breaking Dawn it's complete bullshit about how Bella can have demon spawn.

But the argument of whether or not the Twilight vampires are really vampires is one we constantly have fights over. She calls it poetic license. So I pulled up a picture of a kangaroo on my computer and showed it to her and the club. When she asked why I had a kangaroo on the screen I told her it wasn't a kangaroo and in fact was a unicorn and continually insisted it was when she told me it was obviously a kangaroo.

In all honesty, I didn't know how to come back at her argument other than that.

So how would you have stated your argument to hers that it was poetic license?

Are there any arguments that Twilight fans throw out at you that you have problems coming back at? If so, what do you say instead to try and hold your ground?

It's a unicorn.


Discuss.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 3:31 pm


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If they were vampires, they would share more similarity with vampire folklore as opposed to fairy folklore.

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King Geek

PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 4:08 pm


Sounds like she's got a case of hypocritism.

Also-you're right.That's totally a unicorn.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 4:22 pm


I have a friend from Australia, and she said they have kangaroos as pets.

Cute. smile

Casually mention how Dracula is a tough vampire, and not a Mary-Sue or a scientifically-flawed sparklewuss.

Also, Frozen Apples some of the scientific innacuracies is the Meyerpires, then use them as ammo.

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Jerba
Crew

PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 4:36 pm


It is NOT obviously a kangaroo! It is a unicorn that LOOKS like a kangaroo. See its horns? Unicorns have two horns that are very flat and furry and look like ears. Unicorns have tumors on their stomach, that look like little unicorns, which you can see because they stand upright to reach the magical berries that they eat. Unicorns live in Australia, which is why they were thought to be mythical by people of Europe and the new world. In fact, unicorns are very smart and live among kangaroos, so people can't tell the difference between them.

Just go on like that. It's the same with FSMism and the Church of the Invisible Pink Unicorn.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 4:44 pm



QueensCrystalGuard
Crew

Gracious Shapeshifter


Jerba
Crew

PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 4:57 pm


Lol! Those are really, REALLY good points. I love the venom article. xd

You know what else is funny? The fact that there are Twilight ads at the bottom of the page.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 7:16 pm


It's just so clear it's a unicorn, isn't it? I can't believe they couldn't tell.

Thanks everyone, and to Crystal for the links, I'll be sure to use them as aid next meeting if the argument rises up again.

Planetary Seas
Crew


QueensCrystalGuard
Crew

Gracious Shapeshifter

PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 8:58 pm


lol Ads

Not the exact article, but there's one on their like "BUT VAMPIRES R FIKSHUNAL SHE CAN DO WUTEVR SHE WAUNTS"

*shrug*

It'll have to do for now.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 10:55 pm


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Okay, here's my argument for you ->

Vegetarians make a conscious choice to the abstaining from eating meat. While they will consume milk, honey and eggs, these are animal products that can be harvested without harming or killing the animal in question. Since we never see the Cullens or any other "vampire" in Twilight eating, we can only assume that those that claim to be vegetarians are in fact hunting wild broccoli, carrots and other vegetables.

However according to vampire folklore, it is not possible for these sort of mythical creatures to sustain themselves on such a diet. They need to regularly consume human blood and often kill they prey in the process. It is therefore a safe conclusion that the creatures in Twilight are in fact not vampires.

So what are they?


My initial conclusion was zombies wearing large amounts of body glitter. However zombies are know for the consumption of human flesh and are often stereotyped as enjoying brains specifically. In think it is a safe conclusion that like vampires, zombies are unable to engage in a vegetarian diet that the Cullen's possess.


If we look away from the realm of the undead, the most logical conclusion is that they are fairies. Often referred to as the "good folk," fairies are troublesome creatures by their nature. They would not see anything wrong with going into an area under the pretense of being vampires just to stir up trouble with the local werewolves.

Fairies can be vegetarian, sustaining themselves on nuts and wild berries, and more importantly would have the glittery skin which sparkles in sunlight.

If that wasn't proof enough, consider that the Cullen's are all venomous which is just flat out not possible with vampires. If they really were that poisonous, they always kill without fail every human they bite to the extent that nobody would rise up to become a vampire from it. However if we consider that these creatures are not vampires but fairies, we then realize that what they claim to be venom is really nothing more than fairy magic.

Once we take into account that magic is involved here, it makes a ton of sense as to why they are able to use it to turn humans into their kind [magic] or engage in relations that result in a human-fairy hybrid child [magic.] A half-vampire is ridiculous, but when you consider that half-elves are one of the staples of fantasy literature -- it only makes sense that other fairy races would be able to produce hybrid offspring.

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QueensCrystalGuard
Crew

Gracious Shapeshifter

PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 11:35 pm


It's a very nice argument, but Frozen Apples disagrees that they are faeries
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