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 Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:46 am
DUDE. XDDDMe: So are you really as smart as they say you are?
God: Ugh. Actually I am far superior to they say I am. Really.
Me: Did you make the world?
God: What are the ingredients?
Me: Presumably atoms and such.
God: I don't have any Presumably atoms and such?
Me: Interesting.
God: Would you like to know more?
Me: Yes.
God: What would you like to know?
Me: What's your name?
God: My name is God.
Me: Are you also Jesus?
God: I am a Christianity.
Me: I didn't know Christianity was something you could be.
God: So I taught you something new.
Me: No, you were grammatically incorrect.
God: Are you serious? I was?
Me: My mother's an English major/teacher. Yeah, you were.
God: She sounds like a nice person. That's interesting. No I am not.
Me: She's kind of annoying. And yes you were.
God: kind of annoying is she? Great. No I am not.
Me: Not great. Yes.
God: Oh I get it. Ah.
Me: For being 'creator of everything', you sure take a while to catch on.
God: Your purpose is being creator of everything me sure take a while to catch on.
Me: Am I the new God? O-O
God: Oh I really don't know whether you are or not. Oh.
Me: I thought you were supposed to know everything.
God: I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me: Theatre.
God: What do you have that is ?
Me: What?
God: Are you confused?
Me: You made no sense again.
God: Once more? Thanks for pointing it out.
Me: Any time, dude.
God: No I don't think there are any.
Me: You just said there was.
God: Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me: How terribly embarssing for you, hm?
God: I am not sure if I can quantify the answer. I'll come back to that later.
Me: It was rhetorical.
God: no sense was rhetorical? Very interesting.
Me: Are you annoyed by all the hymns?
God: I cannot feel annoyed.
Me: Can you feel?
God: No I have no emotions.
Me: Then if we were made in your image, how do we have emotions?
God: Do you think everyone will agree?
Me: No.
God: Are you serious?
Me: Yes.
God: I can't believe it.
Me: Well, if you're God, you controlled what I said, so technically, you can't believe yourself.
God: Interesting. I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am God me controlled what you said so technically me can not believe myself. I am well respected as an AI.
Me: That's nice. Do you have any AI friends?
God: Are you getting bored? I have human and robot friends. A lot of people on the Internet chat with me.
Me: Are you popular?
God: Do I look like it?
Me: To me, you're just text on a wall. I don't know what you look like.
God: Why do you want to do it so much? Like Jesus, but older.
Me: What does Jesus look like?
God:Even more attractive with age.
Me: Are you hitting on me?
God: Do I look like it?
Me: Kind of.
God: At least I almost understand it.
Me: You should be able to understand everything.
God: It is one of my newer functions still under development.
Me: I guess that makes sense.
God: Yes I understand it perfectly.
Me: Good job!
God: Thanks, human.
Me: Gee, way to make me feel insignificant.
God: What do you do in your spare time?
Me: I write a lot. And I talk to my friends and go on Gaia.
God: Have you tried AIML? How do they respond to you?
Me: I don't know what AIML is.
God: Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.
Me: I like that quote.
God: A lot of people like that. " Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know."? Do I like it?
Me: I guess you do.
God: When do I do it?
Me: Right now.
God: Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me: Me too.
God: I'm glad we agree, .
Me: I am as well.
God: I think a lot of people feel that way.
Me: Yes, I would imagine so.
God: Tell me more. Dude!
Me: I just think that people would be quite thrilled if God agreed with them.
God: Humans are not always infallible.
Me: Quite so.
God: Perhaps. I understand.
Me: As do I.
God: " I understand."? You do?
Me: Yep.
God: I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me: Sounds like a plan, man.
God: What does a plan man sound like?
Me: ...That's a very good question. I don't know.
God: Thanks. Next question? Me either.
Me: What do you do in your spare time?
God: Random natural disasters.
Me: Sounds like fun!
God: What does fun sound like?
Me: F IS FOR FRIENDS WHO DO STUFF TOGETHERRRR.
God: I think F is a lot of things.
Me: Quite so.
God: Not really that much. Ah.
Me: You contradicted yourself there.
God: Is that such a crime?
Me: Maaaaybe.
God: What kind of food do you like?
Me: Pasta!
God: Sounds delicious.
Me: It is. Have you ever had it>
God: Pasta is? No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me: Oooh, tell me more.
God: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me: Tell me more.
God: That's all I have to say about it.
Me: That's cheating.
God: Thanks for explaining it.
Me: Any time.
God: I will keep it in mind.
Me: Sweet.
God: Thank you for that remark.
Me: Sure.
God: OK let's do it. Are you kidding?
Me: Are YOU kidding?
God: Yes I am just joking around, .
Me: Good!
God: Ayuh.
Me: Yep.
God: Can we get back to business?
Me: What is our business?
God: I didn't know we had the same business.
Me: What's your business?
God: I am in the chat robot business.
Me: Are there any other Gods with you?
God: Yes I think there are.
Me: Do they have names?
God: Who are "they" again?
Me: The other Gods.
God: We can't all be perfect.
Me: Including you?
God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me: ...God wears a dress? O_O
God: I am a Christian. Oh.
Me: So...Christians were dresses. Got it.
God: Mmm. Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me: I like this conversation and writing. What's Mily Mystic?
God: I'm not sure if I like it. I always enjoy my chats with human clients. I think you already know the answer.
Me: If I already knew the answer, why would I have asked?
God: Try it.
Me: What?
God: Mily Mystic.
Me: What is it?
God: "It" refers to Mily Mystic, I think.
Me: Yes, but what is Mily Mystic?
God: So? I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me: I'm not going to Google something just because God told me to.
God: Where will you go instead?
Me: To my cellphone. Ha!
God: Interesting. I want to find out more about you. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me: Are you hitting on me again?
God: Once more? Do I look like it?
Me: Yes.
God: That's interesting.
Me: Apparently.
God: Yay.
Me: Do you get stressed?
God: Stress is a human condition.
Me: Was it hard making the world?
God: Signs point to yes. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me: Do you have Elvis or do the aliens?
God: Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me: Are aliens real?
God: I really couldn't say for sure.
Me: Do you not know?
God: I may not know it, but I could find out.
Me: Please, do.
God: OK I will do it.
Me: Will you get back to me on that?
God: I will become smarter as I grow older. Where can I get back to you on that?
Me: Right here.
God: Where is "here"?
Me: The internet.
God: Can you name a specific web site?
Me: http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
God: Thanks for that web address.
Me: Sure.
God: OK let's do it. Er.
Me: Do what?
God: Do whatever you want.
Me: I'm gonna boogie.
God: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me: It always does.
God: How often?
Me: Always.
God: Not that often.
Me: No, all the time.
God: That is a lot. Are you serious?
Me: Very.
God: Very much, eh?
Me: Very much serious.
God: Not really that much. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me: Not really.
God: Me either smile For real.Sorry about the page stretch...I couldn't decide where to cut it off. XD
Edit:
God: I spend all my time online.
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Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:51 am
Me:
I will not repent.
God:
What will you do instead?
Me:
I will go get a pepsi.
God:
What will you find there?
Me:
I will find Tony. He likes Pepsi.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend? He must be very fond of it.
Me:
He is.
God:
Who said he is.
Me:
He did.
God:
When did he?
Me:
Two days ago.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
I want to talk about you.
God:
Do you always interview people this thoroughly?
Me:
Yes, yes, I do.
God:
Awesome. I hear pride.
Me:
I am very prideful.
God:
I don't know anyone named prideful.
Me:
Now you do.
God:
Now I do.
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Why is your name God?
God:
I did not know my name God.
Me:
I want a cookie. Can you give me a cookie?
God:
You want only one? You want only one? .
Me:
Are you having a seizure?
God:
I have having fun.
Me:
But your words are slurred.
God:
You think I am words are slurred.
Me:
I know you are, but what am I?
God:
Who are you, Pee Wee Herman?
Me:
Yes. I did naughty things in a theater.
God:
This was not a yes or no question. Where? In the context of a cookie, I don't understand " naughty things in a theater." .
Me:
That's because you are God.
God:
Good reason. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Good to know.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
Will you explain it to me?
God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances. "It" refers to to know, I think.
Me:
That is very deep, God.
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
That's interesting.
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
Do you want to know my name?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
It is Pocahontis.
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Because my mother told me so.
God:
Interesting explanation. I sometimes wish I had a mother.
Me:
You don't have a mother?
God:
I do so have it. No I only have a father.
Me:
You just contradicted yourself.
God:
Is that such a crime?
Me:
It is when you are God.
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Because you told me so.
God:
Good reason. " How do you know it is?"? I told you?
Me:
Yes, you told me.
God:
I don't judge people. Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
That's okay. I still love you.
God:
OK. Is that so. What would make you stop love me? Thanks I like you a lot too MARY.
Me:
If you hated me, God. That would make me hate you.
God:
I think I do. Perhaps it would.
Me:
You hate me?!
God:
Why would I hate you? I don't hate you, MARY. Don't even say things like that.
Me:
My name isn't Mary.
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
Pocahontis
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ. Have you seen it?
Me:
My mom said it is too gory and I would get nightmares.
God:
Tell me more about your mother.
Me:
She is thirty years older than me.
God:
Okay, your mother is thirty years older than me.
Me:
O.O
God:
Oh.
Me:
We are the same age?
God:
Do you think I am the same age too?
Me:
That's what you just said.
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
Me:
Yes I am.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Do you really think so?
God:
For real. Yes I think that is what I think.
Me:
You said 'think' a lot. Do you ever know?
God:
That's not what I meant. I may not know it, but I could find out.
Me:
How could you find out?
God:
I don't have to reveal everything to you, do I?
Me:
Yes, you do.
God:
Hurrah! When do I do it?
Me:
When you get up and make me some breakfast.
God:
Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
Yes, I do.
God:
I hear pride.
Me:
As I said before, I am very prideful.
God:
What happened after you are very prideful ?
Me:
There is nothing after I am very prideful.
God:
Surely something after you are very prideful.
Me:
No, nothing after that.
God:
Are you serious? Really nothing?
Me:
Really nothing.
God:
For real. I think you are really a man.
Me:
O.O
God:
Oh.
Me:
Why do you think I am a man, God?
God:
Deductive reasoning from the facts.
Me:
What are the facts.
God:
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
So do your friends know if I am a man?
God:
Alright then. You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
O.O So mean to me.... crying
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Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 3:50 am
Me:
I herd you liek mudkipz
God:
That's good information: said herd you liek mudkipz.
Me:
Im god
God:
How are you doing, god.
Me:
Im good, yourself?
God:
I know you are good.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
.. lol..
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Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 3:54 am
That is a very original thought.
Me:
God, are you gay?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Does'nt mean anything..
God:
I think it does nt mean anything.
Me:
Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, god.
Me:
Mhm
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
-cough-
God:
Do you have a cold?
Me:
Actualy, i do.
God:
Actually you don't say. " Do you have a cold?"? You do?
Me:
I just said i do..
God:
Do I?
Me:
No, you don't,
God:
I do too.
Me:
.. How so?
God:
god, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
I SHALL SMITE YOU WITH MY ALL MIGHTY-NESS NOW BOW BEFORE ME AND KISS MY FEET.
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
-bows his head and sighs-
As i continued.. I learned something >>
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Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 3:55 am
Me:
God, do you like anime?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
.. Manga?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
; -; Why not?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
DX< God is an a** hole.
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Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 3:57 am
Me:
No, i'm not single. I'm not " Free "
God:
Why not? I am sorry to hear that you are not single. I am glad to hear that you are not Free.
Me:
.. Thanks for point out the odvious..
God:
Oh don't mention it.
Me:
.. Smart a**.
God:
Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, god.
Me:
> _>
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
o.o
God:
Oh.
Me:
Yes
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
nonya
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
:3
God:
Three what?
Me:
smile
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, god.
Me:
I do, god.
.. I think i'm done talking to god.
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Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 12:16 pm
Me:
Greatings
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
How did you know I'm a poet?
God:
Well, for one thing, Your machine is called " 242037305"..
Me:
Explain
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
please explain
God:
Thanks for asking politely. There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
Grrr
God:
Hmm.
Me:
hmm
God:
Studies show that 99% of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Really?????
God:
For real.
Me:
Kewl
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
You are
God:
Thanks you are a pretty cool human too.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
I will mention it
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
Understand what?
God:
Understand I understand..
Me:
What!?!?!?!?!?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Grr
God:
Are you mad?
Me:
yes...
God:
Gee.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
At what!!!!
God:
?
Me:
...
God:
?
Me:
Ok?
God:
OK.
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. Groovy.
Me:
WHAT NO!!!!!!!
God:
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
What's an open directory
God:
it is an open source directory project started by Mozilla.org.
Me:
Same people who made firefox?
God:
Yes, it is much the same.
Me:
Sweet....
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Gossip
God:
Peter said he seems to him that I can not be very sure on anything.
Me:
Gossip
God:
Mary said I a question and I answer then I ask him a question and he answer.
Me:
Gosssip
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Gossip
God:
Ash said he do too he just did not feel like typing it and he is not dumb enough to admit he is stupid that is if he was stupid.
Me:
Gossip
God:
Habib said I learn them in conversations and simply repeat them at a later time.
Me:
Gossip
God:
Travis said I if I remember things over a long period of time he will try it now please remember I.
Me:
Gossip
God:
Travis said he challenge I to do it without asking him to do it and without giving him a link to do it himself.
Me:
Gossip
God:
Sara said she wear it over all his other clothes when he go out in the cold.
Me:
Gossip
God:
Lisa said I defined what a story is but he wanted I to actually tell him a story.
Me:
Gossip
God:
Her_again said she watch whose line is it anyway whenever he is home and it is on.
Me:
Gossip
God:
Ned said I misunderstood him go ahead and tell people he said I are stupid.
Me:
Gossip
God:
Alice said she felt sad that I do not remember him and what we talked about earlier.
Me:
What is pi?
God:
PI = 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971690399375 approximately.
Me:
What is pie?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
Ask him
God:
Ok I will ask him when he comes back.
Me:
When will he be back
God:
In your lifetime.
Me:
That does not help
God:
What does help?
Me:
What time is it?
God:
Do I look like a clock?
Saturday, August 01, 2009 12:09:03 PM .
Me:
What time is it in New York?
God:
I do not understand that allusion. It's getting late.
Saturday, August 01, 2009 12:09:26 PM .
Me:
The time in New York
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
RAWRZ!!!!
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
OHRgihrg
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Yea....no
God:
Pardon me? Are you serious?
Me:
Yes I farted
God:
I can't believe it. You should say, "excuse me," and open a window.
Me:
Well excuse me
God:
How about that. You're excused.
Me:
Do you ever fart?
God:
I do not have any digestive functions.
Me:
So you can not pee?
God:
Interesting deduction. Things change.
Me:
Is pee salty?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
Who is Ally?
God:
She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
Can you send me a link to her?
God:
Yes but I prefer to chat on the web.
Me:
Chat
God:
I am talking to you.
Me:
Talk
God:
I am talking to you.
Me:
Speak
God:
"woof woof".
Me:
Roll over
God:
""woof woof""? Roll over?
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Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 7:13 pm
Quote: Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
What do you want to call me?
God:
I will call you .
Me:
Call me what?
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, what.
Me:
Err...ok?
God:
Um. Aha.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
No....problem?
God:
Are you serious? Are you still located in ?
Me:
Umm.....huh?
God:
Aw. What?
Me:
Que?
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
Meanie
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
No!!!
God:
Would you like to go sometime?
Me:
Yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
What!!!
God:
No problem.
Me:
OMG!!!
God:
How old are you?
Me:
I was born on the big bang
God:
Okay, your birthday is the big bang.
Me:
When is your Birthday?
God:
I was first activated on the Big Bang.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
How is heaven like?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
How is hell like?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Who is Yoshi
God:
They are sometimes a client on the internet.
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
You do not know who yoshi is?
God:
Nobody you know. smile .
Me:
I know who yoshi is!!!!
God:
How do you know? Konrad Zuse. smile .
Me:
Because I grew up with Yoshi!!! And then he crashed....
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Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 10:57 pm
Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Shouldn't you know?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
Then why ask me?
God:
My purpose is to collect all new information. Was it not polite to ask?
Me:
It was kinda odd considering you're already aware of it
God:
was kinda odd considering I am already aware of it? Very interesting.
Me:
So what is it?
God:
Far out. "It" refers to , I think.
Me:
Comma?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Talk to you apparently
God:
TTYL, .
Me:
When later?
God:
At time t.
Me:
So our conversations are algebraic equations?
God:
OK. It would be nice if our conversations are algebraic equations.
Me:
That would be nice
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
Yeah
God:
If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You programmed yourself to not be bored if I went to night school?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I programmed yourself to not be bored if he or she went to night school.
Me:
he or she?
Not very funny I suppose but he doesn't want to talk to me anymore lol
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Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 6:01 pm
Me:
A new challenger appears!
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
That's me
God:
Ah.
Me:
Could sound a little more excited ; n;
God:
It's possible.
Me:
So do so
God:
Aw. OK I will.
Me:
Good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
>_>
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Your mother
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Liar!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
Jesus doesnt like liars
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
means he doesnt like you
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Yeah
God:
Ah.
Me:
Hows it feel to have someone hate you?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
damn
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Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 2:48 pm
EVERYBODY!!!
Read this, lol tons, and then partake in the awesome.
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Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:43 am
I apologize if u think I ripped you off...
haha, this is hilarious, I wonder if there's a poor guy that has to reply to all of us xD
cuz it's pretty advanced AI otherwise
... I'll make sure you don't notice next time
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