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 Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 12:37 pm
 LivingJournal.com: A day in the life of a Drone
Date: February 8th, 2009
Mood:Bleh
To all of my avid readers, to all of my friends;
I regret to inform you that this is my last journal.
In keeping with my final wishes any post from me will be left intact and not be removed by the authorities, and if by chance this post does get deleted I urge you, my biggest fans, to bring the matter up to the councils as an act of betrayal. My final wishes should be as honoured as the final wishes of the next person.
My final wish was to be able to communicate to you all what is to become of me; the reason for my departure and the consequences of acting out of turn in this wonderful world we live in.
I'm being condemned to a place called Gaia because a bunch of ******** had their heads stuck too far up their asses to realize I was giving them constructive feedback on their ridiculously retarded manner of communicating and the way they created their godmoding characters. A bunch of weak little pussies with their tampons tied in knots decided they did not like the way I was aiding their entry into the world of forums and brought it to the police as a crime against the normalcy. According to the douche that arrested me, the filed complaints against me have made a rather intimidating and towering pile and for that I have to applaud myself. I set out what I wanted to do, to bring a little spice to this too kind world and show them that not everything can just be accepted.
Sure, most of the time I offered those colourful comments merely due to the fact their pansy typed pretty boys pissed me off, and their method of speaking using only one letter to communicate an entire word was beyond ridiculous. Especially since our world revolves around exact documentation of everything down to the very last letter. You would think, in a world who adores such a level of perfection, that the ******** assheads would be able to think of something more meaningful to type than 'y u do dat kthxbi a/s/l lol'.
However, the point of this post was not to dwell on what had happened to me and what will be happening to be, but to also document my experiences here as an informative session for those who feel they should follow in my footsteps and carry on my work here.
First, the authorities show up to your door and read you a horrible speech about what you've done and why it was bad. Normally this wouldn't be so bad, if they didn't read it to you like you didn't realize what you had done. Yes, I mouthed off to a few lesser beings, you don't have to explain it to me. I was there. Then they lug you off and take you to jail while you await your sentence. I unfortunately cannot relay my experiences in court, because supposedly the tower that is my rap sheet is more than enough evidence to convince anyone with even half of a brain cell that I am a horrible person and should be put down.
So they give you your sentence. My sentence was to be sent to this strange place called Gaia. Apparently the good people of Enturneht don't want to have to bother with me! Now normally a sentence is jail time, some community service and apologizing to those that you wronged but again, due to my wonderfully tall rap sheet they decided to bypass even having me on the planet. Joy. I am not looking forward to the move and I can only hope that the new home will be less prone to bursts of mental retardation and, if I am lucky, these new people will respect the written and verbal word.
I had just finished my last meal. Let me say that your tax money has gone to wonderful use. I just had the greatest and most tender Minotaur steak with a side of potatoes and corn and a rather fancy tiramisu cake for dessert. Thank you, great people of Enturneht, for making my last meal here a memorable one. I have never eaten so well.
Unfortunately, that is all I have to report. My time here on Enturneht is short, and they have treated me rather well, which is to be expected from a planet that is too nice to realize they're all boring assheads who don't know what a sense of humour is. At least I have given you some insight into the world of the condemned.
My final words here will be the following, and I hope you, my friends and my readers, will take it to heart:
My time here on Enturneht was a great experience. I had fun, I put people in their places, and above all, I have no regrets. Keep on living life how you want to live it, don't live up to the public standards of the normal just because you are told to. You are free to do whatever you want and however you want to. Just don't become a douche, for they are stupid and you will be subject to public ridicule for all eternity.
The end.
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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 8:42 am
 Synopsis - Tek's Arrival Link: Tek has Landed!Date: Backdated to February 15th Those Involved: Switch, Lionel/Tek, The Pod Details: Switch stares at the sky to relax, and instead a pod comes down and scares the metaphorical crap out of her! Inside the pod is a very confused baby Lionel. After picking up the baby and the contents of the pod, Switch returns to her shop...only to discover the inside in ruins from the shock wave the pod's landing created. 
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Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 11:39 pm
 LivingJournal.com: kalemademe's Journal
Date: September 3rd, 2009
Mood: Grumpy - Why do people want kids, anyway?
So life has been pretty interesting since the arrival of the little brat that in theory destroyed part of my shop. Apparently he was some criminal from another planet that was sentenced here (at least thats what the papers seem to suggest), and...he was rather ugly back then. Like, really ugly. My first thought was that maybe that little Baby inside the pod managed to EAT Lionel...I mean, for a Baby this kid has some fangs. Not to mention his tongue.
Did I ever mention his tongue?
The ******** got a sharp tongue. And he can't even TALK yet. Little b*****d sliced open my fingers on many seperate occasions because he didn't want to eat his food and licked me instead. It was amusing until I realized what had happened, which was about the time the blood started gushing. fffffffff.... He laughed too, when I started bleeding. Lucky me. A pod comes crashing into my store and I end up with a potential Criminal-eating Baby whose first laugh was after I bled. Greeeeat.
Where was I? Oh yeah, the Criminal-eating Baby.
Seriously, this kid looks NOTHING like his pictures. Did he mutate or something when he got to Gaia? This kid looks like someone took all the common creatures in folklore and smashed them together in a cranky-a** infant who seems to enjoy other's pain. I kinda wish I'd never opened the pod, but I can't turn back time now...and I can't exactly leave a Baby on the streets. Well, not as-is, anyway. Maybe wait for a little bit when he can, you know, move on his own. The second he shows signs of cannibalism in my house? The b*****d is GONE.
Anyway, I named the little monster 'Tek'. Because in all honesty I don't like the name Lionel and he might not even BE Lionel...and Tek was the first thing that popped into my head. Of course this makes his name 'Tek Gear', which may seem cruel until you realize that MY parents were cruel in naming me Switch, and I wasn't even an alien-criminal eating baby. Besides, as long as he's in my care, that makes me his parent and as his parent I can name him whatever the hell I want.
Take THAT, little b*****d! Teach you to laugh at my pain.
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Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 12:30 am
Halloween. The one time of year where the barrier between the words was the thinnest. The time of year where you took preventative measures in order to protect yourself and your home against the evil spirits. Pumpkins, Candy, Costumes...all an important part of keeping yourself and your Family safe. The pumpkin carving was so far the toughest thing they had to do; Between Switch, Kale and Kay they managed to make a couple semi-decent looking Pumpkins (though it was joked that they should just sit Tek on the front porch instead), and put them outside to keep the house safe.
Next was the absolutely easiest part; Telling Kay the importance of checking his candy. Why was this the easiest, you ask? Good Question! It was the easiest due to the fact Kay insisted on not taking part in Trick-or-Treating this year. He wanted to hand out the candy! By his logic, he didn't need to check his candy because Kale bought it all, therefore it was safe. Well, that was one more Halloween tradition down.
The last one was definitely the most fun. Kay had found this intricate skeleton costume, one of those black jumpsuits with the skeleton on them sort of deals. He thought it went perfect with the half skull on his face, and insisted that the house be decorated to match. The front entryway was littered in fake cobwebs and dirt like a crypt entrance, and the front hallway was decorated in a similar fashion. With a bit of toying on Kale's part, the lights in the front hallway were in the process of changed into black lights. To illuminate Kay's costume, no doubt.
"Better make sure to brush your teeth Kay, now that there's gonna be a black light up, I can tell if you're not doing it right." Switch teased the Shaman child, rolling her eyes when Nahual, the snake that grew out of Xbalanque's skull, hissed at her.
"I always do it right, Na. Innit that right, Nahual?" Xbalanque grinned, patting the feathered snake's head. The snake hissed in content, nodding lightly before curling back up in Kay's hair. The dark-skinned Curio went back to his decorating, shaking his head. Brush his teeth wrong, hah!
"And...there we go!" Kale said proudly, climbing down off of the ladder and pushing it to the side. "That should just about do it. Flick the lights for me, Kay?" The Mayan boy nodded eagerly, instantly dropping what he was doing to run to the light switches, flicking them on and illuminating the room in a strange glow. Almost instantly the skull on the right side of his face started to glow, as did the white shirt Switch was wearing and the white socks Kale wore.
But something else started to glow, too. Little bits of lights showed up on the wall, looking like the faint reflection of light off of a disco ball.
"Hey...where's that coming from?" She couldn't think of anything they'd done to make the walls glow like that. Kale looked down at himself, noticing the flecks on him but not behind him on the wall; there was nothing in his shadow. Which meant...it wasn't the walls. He stepped past Switch and looked around; after spotting something on the ground he gave a single laugh, covering his mouth and turning his gaze back towards the blue haired woman.
"Hey, Switch? I...think you should see this..." He managed to get out, trying to contain his giggles while waving his woman over with his free hand. Curious, she wandered over to him, stepping around a chair...and spotting Tek laying on his stomach on the floor, right where she left him. The mish-mashed brat was laying perfectly still and oddly silent, like he was trying to draw the least bit of attention to himself.
Which was hard, considering he was glittering like a disco ball.
A few moments of baffled staring ended in roaring laughter, both Switch and Kale leaning against each other for support. "K-Kay...you...hehe...you gotta c-come see this...!" Switch laughed out, still leaning heavilly against Kale but waving her other son over.
If only they could hear the VERY colourful language being screamed in Tek's head.
Damn did he ever hate Halloween now.
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Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 2:46 am
Brotherly Love (Sippy Cup Fail) Link: Little White Lies and BabysittingThose Involved: Switch, Quint, Tek Details: Quint calms Switch down by telling her that Kale will be home sooner than she thinks...and after thanking him, she leaves to go for a walk, leaving poor Quint to care for his very grouchy Baby brother! A few failed attempts at getting juice later, Tek manages to close the lid like his brother couldn't, and the two fall asleep watching Blade on TV. Who knew that violence and swearing made Tek giggle?
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 4:01 am
--Saved for Growth thingers--
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 4:02 am
The UNIT (You're Ugly) Link: Over AIM, In Progress Those Involved: Tek, DDR, Iamel Details: Tek's in a stupidgood mood from his growth, and comes across DDR again! In progress. Over AIM.
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 4:03 am
Whack-a-Tek Link: [ X ]Those Involved: Tek, Robin, Faris (Curio) Details: Tek wanders into an Arcade and attempts to antagonize Robin, who adequately fights back. Naturally, Tek seems to enjoy this, and instead convinces Robin that no matter what Faris says, it's okay to swear because Mommy's not here and Mommy won't know. One thing leads to another, and after some horrible insults are tossed her way, Faris punches Tek in the face, breaking his nose. The three of them escape the Arcade and make it to the Hospital, and then eventually back home.
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