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 Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 6:58 pm
I need to see that you understand both the strengths as well as the weaknesses of Mokuton. If you switched out a few key words, this application could easily be used to apply to some stone manipulating clan. Show us what obstacles the Mokuton cannot overcome and special functions it can fulfill that other elements could not match. Your grammar, punctuation, and the general flow of your application could use some work. I'd understand if you rushed through it or had to post from your phone but you should really take your time when filling out this kind of application. Additionally, you must have four paragraphs with ten sentences each as a minimum as well as list the jutsu you used as well as their description at the bottom of the post. I know that there are no jutsu in the clan description but I see that you have taken some of them from the anime/manga so if you could include a brief description about them, I would really appreciate it. Finally, just give me a better idea of how well you understand the purposes of the Bloodline. Yeah I know it's just 'manipulating an element' but show off some of the unique properties of the Mokuton has as well as it's shortcomings while maintaining good grammar/punctuation and you will be fine. smile
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:33 pm
Martin Spiralwave I need to see that you understand both the strengths as well as the weaknesses of Mokuton. If you switched out a few key words, this application could easily be used to apply to some stone manipulating clan. Show us what obstacles the Mokuton cannot overcome and special functions it can fulfill that other elements could not match. Your grammar, punctuation, and the general flow of your application could use some work. I'd understand if you rushed through it or had to post from your phone but you should really take your time when filling out this kind of application. Additionally, you must have four paragraphs with ten sentences each as a minimum as well as list the jutsu you used as well as their description at the bottom of the post. I know that there are no jutsu in the clan description but I see that you have taken some of them from the anime/manga so if you could include a brief description about them, I would really appreciate it. Finally, just give me a better idea of how well you understand the purposes of the Bloodline. Yeah I know it's just 'manipulating an element' but show off some of the unique properties of the Mokuton has as well as it's shortcomings while maintaining good grammar/punctuation and you will be fine. smile As a side note we do have a list of Mokuton in the jutsu forum. EDIT: Ignore me, apparently we don't. I suspect it got moved to be worked on somewhere. Hinote Edit: I had, as Luo said, moved the Mokuton to another subforum in preparation for edits. I've moved it back into the jutsu subforum for now though, as, obviously, it will be needed.
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Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 5:03 pm
Rpc Name: Shinji Hozuki
Village: Kiri
Rank: Genin
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Hozuki Clan
What you know about the clan/bl:People born under the Hozuki Bloodline are quickly identified as “liquid” or “jelly” people. This is because their entire bodies consist of a high content of H20, aka Water, combined with chakra. They are able to fully control their “transitional membrane”, which is similar to human skin, aside from the fact that this membrane is able to absorb large amounts of water as well as reach a solid state whenever the user chooses to with enough training. They also have the ability of regenerating any part of their body that has been lost, but the process is extremely slow, unless one has done enough training to accelerate it. Finally, they are already skilled at breathing underwater for as long as they like, for their civilization was constructed mainly underwater.
Within their water filled bodies is a “nucleus”, which is about 8 cubic inches in size. This nucleus contains all their vital organs of a Hozuki, such as modified versions of the human brain and heart. Within the nucleus, they are nucleoid protrusions (neural extensions) that spread throughout all points of the body. These protrusions help regulate 3 main life functions
1. Chakra circulation which also contain chakra points
2. Internal water pressure stabilization
3. A minor nervous system
( Sall I go on?? )
Rp Sample:
along the beach of the land the water shined bright and the sand glowed a bright gold. the setting sun gave the beach is mystical appearance, along with shining some light upon the vast forest that lay behind it. It was beautiful, truly a sight to see and in the mist of it all was a young Shinobi by the name of Shinji.
Shinji who liked to go by Shin for short was just about to go threw the process of his daily rituals, witch consisted of a long swin in the surrounding water of the island. he was already a half a foot in the water when he froze and then smiled before turning around. as he looked up into the trees of the forest he would notice a few figures moving around and one standing on top of the tree meeting his gaze head on. Before Shin could even get a single word out there was already a bomb kunai thrown on the ground in front of him signalling the beginning of the fight.
Any normal shinobi Would have died from such an explosion at such close range, but luckily to Shin he was nor ordinary shinobi he was a member of the hozuki clan. when the explosion went off he had simply turned his body into water and feel into the ocean. avoiding the blast enough to only suffer minor damages he would then continue to swin out a few meters and before pulling his head together and scoping out the enemy. He could hear then as they began to emerge from the forest, there where six of them and they where not sure if Shin has survived or not.
"Did we get him boss" one of the bandits asked before walking out closer to the waters edge. there leader stood there and gave no answer looking around scanning the area for any signs of life. another man came close to the waters edge and looked out at the sea before turning around and facing the others. Shin watched carefully from a distance to see if they would gather just a little closer for him.
After a few moments the leader spoke and told the men to search the sea all but two. the big guy, and two other normal sized men all began to swim out into the ocean "Big mistake" Shin thought to himself with a large smile before reforming the upper half of his body and covering himself in a 12 meter thick bubble of water. His control of himself and his strength when merged with water was 10X as much as him in his original state. he simply put his hands together and fournfully moved them outward in the direction of the men who where swimming towards him.
Suiton: Akki Uo Nami Kurasshu (Water Release: Demon Fish Wave Crash) a large fish made from water came flying across the sea and swallowing the three men in its path before exploding on land. the impact would be so greate that it would kill them instantly. the other threem men quickly looked over and saw nothing more than a splash of water and three dead body's in the sand.
Shin knew that he couldn't hide for much longer so he decided to try and end them quickly before they got a chance to plan an attack. He would then again quickly recreate himself fully but this time in the middle of a 20 foot tall body of water. two of the three men began weaving hand seals while the third simply stepped back before doing so as well. Ninjutsu was something that Shin hated but had to get around quickly.
Using his ability to harden his body he made a large jelly ball in his mouth and spat it at the two men in front. around that same time the two had created a large rock wall to stand up in the sand as a deference, realizing this Shin changed the ball of suffocating sticky jelly into an even harder spiked ball that crashed threw both wall of rock and impaling both men while crushing them at the same time.
Mean while the leader of the group had just finished weaving his hand seals before looking up at Shins large body " I know just the trick to deal with you, Ive killed your kind before this is gonna drain me quite a bit but your bounty is worth it" hin had already began to move towards the man when all of a sudden a hole opened up in the sky and a large black cloud quickly formed above him. Lightning being the one main weakness of the hozuki can could easily kill him and with the size of that cloud and how long it took his to call upon that jutsu i would say this was at least an Rank of A. more than enough to kill little old shin on one hit.
Having to act fast Shin ejected himself from the body of water surrounding him just in time to escape the large lightning bolt that came down upon it. in a flash of light there was nothing but morre than a calm dead sea for a second and the bandit thought he had won. he arose to his feet only to bring his head directly up into the wet moist jelly hand of Shin who had placed a ball of liquid jelly around the mans face it was only a matter of time before the man would suffocate and that would be the end of that. Shin would leave the beach and never return due to the exposure to his hidden training grounds. it was no big deal he would simply have to find a new one.
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Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 6:32 pm
I do not judge Bloodline applications, but a few things need to be mentioned.
This application will not be approved, because you have failed to demonstrate your understanding of the clan in a rather backwards fashion.
your "what you know" is not based at all off of our version of the clan. It frankly sounds like you are making stuff up on the spot. Some creative license is fine to explain vague features but you dont just make up a whole new bloodline system with your application. I'm not even convinced you've looked at our version at all.
I did not bother reading the RP Sample, but you should also list any jutsu you used at the end for convenience.
Also note: considering Houzuki as we have it is not properly defined, it will probably undergo major changes when we (the crew) get to the bloodline/clan revamps. There isn't any way of promising you will get what you expect to get from the bloodline.
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Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 3:18 am
Hikaro_rin I do not judge Bloodline applications, but a few things need to be mentioned. This application will not be approved, because you have failed to demonstrate your understanding of the clan in a rather backwards fashion. your "what you know" is not based at all off of our version of the clan. It frankly sounds like you are making stuff up on the spot. Some creative license is fine to explain vague features but you dont just make up a whole new bloodline system with your application. I'm not even convinced you've looked at our version at all. I did not bother reading the RP Sample, but you should also list any jutsu you used at the end for convenience. Also note: considering Houzuki as we have it is not properly defined, it will probably undergo major changes when we (the crew) get to the bloodline/clan revamps. There isn't any way of promising you will get what you expect to get from the bloodline. understood Ill be waiting and ill do my edits later and this was not off the top of my head at all lou said you guys where making edits and with the knowledge of the hozuki clan that i already have and with the bloodline charts i have created before im sure i know what im talking about . tho i cant expect you all to believe me... ill submit my ideas to lou and re apply for the hozuki sounds good??
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Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:43 am
Rpc Name: Amira Amane [Not Yet Approved]
Village: Kumogakure no Sato
Rank: Genin
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Bushin
What you know about the clan/bl: From what it seems, this clan goes 'beyond' the limits of the village gates. The reason I say that is because it states they are able to take on ANY mission from ANY village- giving the sense that they can come and go in order to take care of missions. Like Sannin I guess? But that's just what I'm getting out of the description. Also, another reason I say they go 'beyond' the limits of one village is the fact they are unable to learn Village Specific Techniques, giving the hint that they hold no real alliance to any certain village. They are basically like A.N.B.U. chosen at birth or some sort. They have a special 'something' about them that makes them qualify for a position to be trained from a young age into a perfect fighting machine. They focus on Weaponry and in-turn lose some potency to their Genjutsu along with being unable to Kai out of them. They live only to complete their mission and move on, and are sexy as they do it~
Rp Sample:
Lapiz Lazuli gems scanned the road ahead of them as she had been trained to do. Never letting her eyes settle onto one place for more than half a second before trading it for a new place. It was a technique that allowed you to focus on the 'all' and not a single space. A way to find any trace of movement was always essential while you were away from any place deemed 'safe' from the dangers of the outside world. The young female was on her way to her stationed area of Kumogakure no Sato to begin her on-the-job training as a member of the Bushin clan. The black satchel hung over her shoulder held down a part of the red-trimmed black cloak that was currently hiding away her golden hair from the sun. Coming through from a part of Sunagakure's desert lands, she still had on her brown over-dress that kept the sands from pounding into her skin. All this didn't make her stand out too much though. It was the long black pole on her back tipped on both ends with large red gems. Whether they were rubies or garnets, nobody could tell at this point. The sheer size of them could get her some serious cash if she ever wanted to sell the weapon. But she wouldn't. It was her prized possession she had poured hours over in order to get the weight balance and triggering system hidden within to perfection. As it looked now, there was no blade in sight, and most would thing it was purely a double ended pole with razor sharp gems to slice into attackers. Ah, but illusions were all part of the trade in this day and age.
Black boots lined in white fur thudded lightly against the dirt trail for a while longer before stopping suddenly. With a hand on her bag, and her other on her hip, she stared at the line of trees ahead of her and sighed. "You should come out now, there's not a point in hiding when someone already knows you're there." Her blue eyes settled onto the form of a middle-aged man who's face was riddled with scars and wrinkles. Obviously he had a much harder life than she did with his incapability of handling the elements and trials in life. The girl had no pity to spare though, and she raised her right arm to unlock one of the leather straps that showed over her white lacy shirt to release the pole from her back. Her left hand was already in preparation behind her back to catch it as it fell. With a simple twirl in her hand, the obsidian pole was before her and ready to defend herself with. The older male before her laughed at the female before him and withdrew a rusting sword from the belt at his side. It seemed he wanted to know what kind of gems she had on her person other than her gorgeous eyes.
Lady Death had no issue with this for now. She needed a little practice to keep her physical prowess up while on her long walk to Kumogakure. As the male began to run at her, she placed pressure at the middle of the pole with her thumb to release the mechanism that folded away part of the metal at the top to reveal a long yet slightly thick shimmering metal sliver. From this, a mechanical sound continued as another piece came from within this sliver to reveal another, and another and another, until a long scythe blade was revealed in all its glory. The pole was no longer something pretty, but dangerous. The man seemed to be uncaring of the new form his future prize held, he just wanted to grab it and sell it after doing away with the pretty little girl who held it. Amira would need to deal with the male quickly. Knowing her own limitations, she stood still with her weapon bared until he was within reach. Raising the pole to her side, she began to infuse her Chakra into the pole. Quickly enough, it began to sizzle and crackle as grey chakra covered the sparkling metallic surface of the blade. With another second, the blade took on a fiery composition, ablaze with her elemental affinity, the male hesitated for a moment. He hadn't known he was going to be taking on a real Shinobi! Twirling her scythe before her body, she raised her hands above her head and watched in almost delight as the male's face showed his fear. The speed at which her hands could move the heavy object seemed unreal and blurred before his eyes until he caught onto the action of her moving the blade down to his position. At the last second, she put her full force into the attack that was heading straight down south onto the male. With Two As One, she would be able to basically double her attack's strength and kill the man quickly.
It seemed her enjoyment got the better of her and the male was able to slip just out of reach as her blade came into contact with the ground. A great rumble echoed through the dirt they stood on and ripped the ground apart, embedding a great amount of the blade into the ground as well. The fire still crackled on the blade as if furious that it didn't hit a real target. "Oops. Do hold still, it's a little awkward having to hit a moving target with such a large knife you know. I don't think I've ever cut and cooked up a Coward's meat before. I wonder if it tastes like chicken." The smile on her lips, which at this point was the only thing the male could see due to the cowl of her cloak, sent chills up his spine as he yelled out an obscenity and turned to run. Taking another swing, she registered her attack's length as just being out of reach of the male's body and elongated the blade another three feet outwards through the Drying Pole technique she'd learned a long while before during her training with the other Bushin. The blade ripped through the male's midsection so cleanly that not a single drop of blood was left on the weapon after the blade left his skin. The top half of his body fell to the ground a second before his knees gave out and crippled over as well. Releasing her Chakra from the blade, its crackling and flaming self sizzled to nothing. With another touch to the pressure point on the black metal pole, the blade began its journey back up and into the safety of the latch system until the next time it would be needed. The male didn't seem like he had anything of value on him, so Amira shrugged his presence away and replaced the leather strap around the metal pole and began to head off towards her destination yet again. How long was this going to take?
Drying Pole
The user extends the tip of their blade with chakra as they thrust. Like a beam of energy, the strike can stretch several extra feet.
Chakra Scabbard
After mastering the first two techniques and demonstrating his command of the Bushido code he is permitted to learn the signature element of the style. A Bushin's blade is rife with pure chakra that crackles and dances around the blade. A blade properly focused can double the killing power of a sword. But CANNOT cut through a blade. This technique has repetitive drainage(a C ranked jutsu equivalent) every time it is activated.
• Active until battle ends or turned off
Divine's Scabbard
In place of your chakra scabbard you are able to substitute pure chakra for whatever element you have an affinity for.
• Active until battle ends or turned off
Two As One
You make one blow that hits with the same force as if it were two strikes. MUST have the chakra scabbard active to use this ability.Martin Spiralwave I'm not sure if you do Clan applications, but your last post gave hint that you do so...I quote you too~<3
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Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 9:24 am
the Bushin clan will most likely be removed.
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Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 9:15 pm
Hikaro summed up much of what I wanted to say (Thanks for that!). Concerning your RP sample however, there were some errors in spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. Although in the end I could understand what you were saying, you should try to use Microsoft Word to spell-check wherever possible, just so your RP companions can understand exactly what your character is doing. Also, as Hikaro said the clan will likely be going through a major revamp so some of the traits you expect may have different rules and such. Your application is denied as of now but if you are free to re-apply smile Although the Bushin clan may be removed, please don't delete your application just yet!Alrighty, your application is solid and you are accepted. You showed that you understand the clan well enough to be accepted. However, you could try to emphasize more of the Bushin's qualities some more in your roleplaying such as their distant behavior and exemplary martial skill. Every other applicant shows themselves taking on anywhere between 1 and 5 enemies. I'd expect a Bushin to effortlessly cut down that single man before he even drew his sword in order to complete their mission without so much as a word or thought. Excellent sample by the way, it was very clear and fairly succinct in my opinion.
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Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:41 am
Martin Spiralwave Hikaro summed up much of what I wanted to say (Thanks for that!). Concerning your RP sample however, there were some errors in spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. Although in the end I could understand what you were saying, you should try to use Microsoft Word to spell-check wherever possible, just so your RP companions can understand exactly what your character is doing. Also, as Hikaro said the clan will likely be going through a major revamp so some of the traits you expect may have different rules and such. Your application is denied as of now but if you are free to re-apply smile Although the Bushin clan may be removed, please don't delete your application just yet!Alrighty, your application is solid and you are accepted. You showed that you understand the clan well enough to be accepted. However, you could try to emphasize more of the Bushin's qualities some more in your roleplaying such as their distant behavior and exemplary martial skill. Every other applicant shows themselves taking on anywhere between 1 and 5 enemies. I'd expect a Bushin to effortlessly cut down that single man before he even drew his sword in order to complete their mission without so much as a word or thought. Excellent sample by the way, it was very clear and fairly succinct in my opinion. ok
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Posted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 9:18 pm
Rpc Name: Hinoka Kamina [U/C]
Village: Kirigakure
Rank: Genin
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Storm Release [Ranton]
What you know about the clan/bl: Ranton [Storm Release] is the advanced elemental release developed by the combination of two elements; Suiton and Raiton. Through this release, clan members are capable of utilizing empowered lightning techniques that are otherwise impossible for those outside the clan. Once clan members have attained a certain level of power they are able to train to reach the next stage of their clan, which involves reawakening their ration element to which it is reborn as black lightning, earning the clan member in question a special Kanji upon their body. Clan members have been known to not only have stronger ration techniques but even able to learn the element faster then others and opposing ration techniques are severely weakened should it make contact. However, this makes it more difficult to learn other elements, and takes a little longer to learn taijutsu/kenjutsu. Wind techniques, should they make contact, will also inflict more damage then normal. A plus, however, is should a clan member be near a body of water or water is used in conjunction with their Black Lightning techniques they'll empower the raiton skill that has been used.
Rp Sample:
The target in question was labeled a rouge, chuunin level shinobi who was foolish enough not only to turn his back on his village but attempt to make off with one of the village's scrolls. The priority of her mission was of upmost importance, regardless of what becomes of the scroll the rouge must be killed before he escapes from the Land of Water. Hunter Nin-in-training Hinoka Kamina was dispatched in a chance to prove herself worthy of the title Hunter Nin. And one step closer to achieving permission to earning right to train for the second stage of her clan. Garbed in a customized version of the Hunter Nin's uniform, the pink-haired Kunoichi placed the mask over her face; making slight adjustments before removing her hand and breathing out of the object now hugging her face. Unlike most women, she had no issues in carrying out a mission which involved life and death. Taking to the trees she disappeared into the thick mist that constantly surround the country and all it's inhabitants, heading for the country side. Naturally, it took an average of a day or so to travel through the country. A wanted shinobi who had any form of common sense would attempt to get to the border as quickly, but carefully as possible. More then likely, being only a chuunin the rouge would still be within the land as higher ranking Kiri nins could easily find him. Pressing her feet off a branch to propel herself forward, the kunoichi continued her search, halting only when catching glimpse of what appeared to be the remains of a campsite. Leaping down to ground level, Hinoka observed the remnants of the area. Crouching low, she could see the indention of where someone was sleeping; as well as ashes where a small campfire was probably lit. Leading away from the campsite, the chuunin's footsteps indicated he was heading for the eastern part of the forest, where the fishermen resided and potentially where he'll attempt to make his escape.
Stringing a quick series of handsigns, the pink-haired woman took a step towards a puddle of water before dematerializing into it. Being in a country constantly shrouded in mist gives the benefit of there being multiple sources of water available. Such as puddles. Lots, and lots of puddles. [Mizutamari no Jutsu (Water Puddle Technique) and Mizutamari Yusuo no Jutsu (Water Puddle Transportation) used]. Traveling a good several meters, around half a mile to be exact the kunoichi rematerialized through another puddle, becoming instantly surrounded by trees and bushes as she emerged back into reality. Upon reforming, she could hear a slight disturbance. Yes, the familiar sound of one panting when out of energy, or the slight unsteady noise when someone is nervous. The target was near, thus she would have to disappear to launch a surprise assault. Silently leaping up into the air, Hinoka landed softly onto a branch, the cool mist air keeping her skin moist as it delicately kissed what skin was exposed and she continued due west, now being able to pick up her target's chakra source since she was much closer.
The rouge leaned up against a tree, squatting low and constantly looked behind him every so many seconds. It was clear his mindset showed paranoia, which is completely realistic for one in his situation. But there was no going back now, not a chance. As Hinoka drew near, she woven handsigns; to which a replica of herself literally ran out of her and moved about a different direction then she. [Storm Release: Laser Clone used]. The clone moved around the target's position as Hinoka moved about towards the southwestern side of the rouge's position, drawing her bladed tanto out to prepare a strike. The rouge looked up, hearing a faint sound ahead of him and flinched; unsure if he should move or not as it could very well be the end of his life should he choose the wrong course of action with the wrong guy. After several minutes of eerie silence he let a breath out, standing up and deciding it was time to continue on before he was discovered. Before he even made several steps, however the laser clone Hinoka created jumped down before him from the trees, receiving a loud gasp from the rouge as he struck out at the clone from sheer reflex, hitting her in the chest where the clone then dispersed and released a brilliant flash of blinding light forcing the shinobi to step back shielding his eyes from the sudden flash. Taking advantage, Hinoka lunged forward with her tanto drawn back, prepared to land a killing blow.
For whatever possessed the rouge, he turned and brought out his own sword swinging wildly in hopes of hitting someone behind him. From sheer luck, his blade crossed with Hinoka's which saved him several more minutes of life as they locked. But the woman wasted no time as she quickly raised her index finger of her free hand and pointed it straight towards the rouge's chest, emitting a small bright beam of light from her fingertip. [Storm Release: Laser Pointer used]. From the distance, and the surprise as no handsigns had to be used the rouge took the full blunt of the attack upon his chest; sending incredible pain throughout his body as he was sent back from the impact, burns all over his chest with a faint touch of electricity coursed through him. Not letting up the Hunter Nin-in-training rushed in just as he was recovering, forcing him to bring up his weapon with what might he had left to defend himself. One thing she could give him credit in was his ability to react as quick after an attack that direct. Perhaps it was adrenaline?
Pushing off the rouge leapt back and threw his sword into the ground where it stuck out, stringing handsigns and almost in a fluid motion raised his hand up to his lips as he inhaled a bit of air; Hinoka realizing what technique was about to come forth and thus flicked her wrist downward letting the blade of the tanto impale the earth. The heat intensified as a fireball was breathed from the rouge, heading towards the pink-hair woman. However, she maintained her mental status and brought her hands together forming a seal to which a bright, barrier of light formed between the oncoming fireball and herself. As the flaming sphere collided there was a small explosion, though it wasn't anywhere enough to break through the bright defense. Reaching back, she pulled out three flash bombs which she quickly threw passed the barrier as it faded and struck the ground before the rouge quickly releasing multiple flashes of light around the rouge effectively blinding and disorientating the chuunin. As the man started moving back Hinoka stepped forward, grabbing the hilt of her weapon with one hand as her free hand thrust forward; a small halo of light shimmering around it as six beams of light fired from around it, moving rather quicker then the single beam used previously. [Ranton: Reizā Sākasu (Storm Release: Laser Circus) used]. Three from the left, and three from the right was what the rouge saw; beginning a plan to what he thought was a simple straight forward assault. As the beams neared, he ran towards them and performed a summersault over them; something Hinoka very much wanted.
As the rouge moved above the oncoming beams, the six suddenly reversed their paths and moved backwards at an angle, the two most centered being exact as the others were various degrees to line up their trajectory with the target. Unfortunately for the chuunin, there wasn't much he could do while in mid maneuver like this, as two beams struck him in the stomach, one in the leg while another in the arm. The fifth one finding its home into his chest while the last one manage to find the side of his head. As his body hit the ground, smoke and the stench of burning flesh filled the air as Hinoka approached the body, sheathing her tanto and observing her work. Rummaging through his jacket, she found what she was looking for; the scroll. Slightly charred, but upon opening it was happy to find it was still readable and closed it. Seemingly out of nowhere within the mist, two Hunter Nins appeared and dropped next to her observing the remains. One picked up the body while the other nodded to Hinoka, motioning for her to follow as they returned to HQ to give their status report.
((Eh, not the best but hopefully pinned what was needed. The techniques in bold are what was used. Didn't use any black lightning since, well, this post was to earn her right to be granted that opportunity))
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Posted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:25 pm
You failed to list the use of Storm Release: Light Show in the fifth paragraph. Other than that, this is an excellent sample, shows that you know how to use the clan. 
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Posted: Wed Mar 27, 2013 7:10 am
How is the person assigned here supposed to show their skills if you guys keep jumping in before he gets a chance? >.>
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Hinote Tosatsu Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Apr 11, 2013 2:15 pm
Rpc Name: Taiki Matsumaya
Village: Kiri [ Remaking my Kiri RPC since Rhue's weapons are viable in POTS ]
Rank: Genin
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Crystal
What you know about the clan/bl: Its a simple one two clan. The user has lightning and earth chakra and molds them together to create Crystal; just like it works with other elemental bloodlines. What is produced can be molded at the user's whim to use in combat. The crystals are able to encompass solid techniques [ Earth and Water ] and they are able to block off wind techniques. Added to this, the Crystals can hardly be destroyed by regular physical techniques.
Rp Sample:
A black haired boy entered an arena with his katana on his back; he moved his cold eyes taking everything in, the short grass, the tall 20 foot walls. “ Well…. This is nice…” He said as he sighed and reached for his blade. “First round, Sajin Komomura Versus Rin.” Those words echoed throughout the entire area, Sajin quickly looked around for his opponent, only to find a small white haired girl on the other side of the arena. “ I’m suppose to fight you?” Sajin said slowly as he rose and eyebrow at this, the girls did not honor his statement with a response, she simply began to walk toward him, basically passing toward the black haired boy. “What’s wrong with fighting me?” She said coldly as she stopped ten feet away from the boy with her arms crossed, tapping her foot, ultimately annoyed by his comment. “Well uh… you see..” Sajin Began to speak but Rin did not give him a chance to speak; she had shot two kunai at the ninja, he quickly reached for his blade and deflected the two kunai with one simple slash. “ So you are taking this seriously…” Sajin muttered as he lowered his weapon only to find the girl running toward him, he made a rapid number of seals and he jumped back. “Crystal release: Crystal Blizzard” He said as he extended his hands toward the girl as hundreds of crystal shards flew toward the white haired girl.
Rin made a single seal she made a giant slab of stone raise from the ground and completely block the blizzard, he began to fall to the ground and he released a sigh. “Must you make this hard for both of us?” He questioned the girl as she simply gave him a nod, which he couldn’t see since she was behind the stone; she then jumped on top of the stone and glared down on Sajin. “ That’s a very nice ability you got there…” She said as she crossed her arms. “ Oh that old thing?” He said as he picked up a little dirt from the ground and crystallized it in the shape of a kunai. “This… is the crystal element… It’s very rare... I’ve never seen anyone with it.” Sajin commented on his powers instructing the girl on his rare powers. Rin suddenly jumped down on the boy aiming to slash at his hand with a kunai, Sajin quickly made a seal and covered his fist with crystals. He shook his head at the girl’s attempts to get him and he made another seal. “You really shouldn’t jump into an opponent which you know nothing about..” He said as his crystals spread on to the girl’s hand. " I was warned about these tricks, I won't be caught in them again..." She told Sajin as he jumped away from Rin.
The boy formed a small snowflake like crystal on his finger tip. " So... immobilizing you won't work... I guess I'll just have to hit you hard." He muttered as he threw the disk at Rin. " Crystal Hexagon Disk." He said as he sidestepped and jumped back Rin sidestepped to evade the attack and Sajin jumped finding himself above the girl. " Wild Shuriken Dance." He cried as he focused chakra on to his body, the chakra flew around Sajin and suddenly shot out toward Rin, she just had barely evaded the first attack and then found herself directly under an incoming barrage of death bringing crystals. " Tch, you and your fancy tricks..." She mumbled as she made a seal and made a wall of stone cover all of the crystals, Sajin fell in the direction of the wall, as he was about to smash on to the crystal shuriken he moved his hands backward which made the crystals form into a dragon and smash through the wall, as the wall began to crack due to the dragon's strength Rin jumped just as the dragon broke the wall getting on a safer position than the one she was in a few moments ago. Sajin quickly looked upward finding the girl soaring over his dragon. " Crystal Gyrodes " He said as he moved his hand in the direction Rin was, he focused chakra on to the palm of his hand and shot four bullet like crystals at Rin, and to her bad luck the dragon was behind the bullets, raising it's snake like body, making a contrast with the bullets making them almost invisible. Rin stared blankly at the dragon as she reached for her blade. " Crystal Instantaneous.." Sajin then said as as he turned into crystals and moved behind Rin, he then materialized back on to his normal body.
" Well... Do you give up now? " Sajin asked her as he grabbed her arms so that she wouldn't move, the bullets hit her in the legs, she winced but really couldn't do anything about it since Sajin was grabbing her, but suddenly he shoved the girl toward the dragon. The dragon wrapped it's tail around Rin, suddenly a jounin entered the arena and did an air kick to the dragon making it shatter. " The battle is over." The masked jounin said as both Rin and the jounin fell on the floor.
Techniques:
Crystal Blizzard [ Old Custom Jutsu that's in the Recycle Bin ]
Crystal Hexagon Disk
Crystal Gyrodes
Crystal Instantaneous
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Posted: Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:42 pm
Alright, the thing I noticed first is that you didn't list the techniques you used at the bottom of your post. That alone denies your application. The 'what you know' section is adequate although you should know that a shinobi of equal rank can break your crystal structures, with much effort. A higher ranked shinobi would have an even easier time. Your sample was well-written though not exactly engaging. The Crystal Release was essentially spammed on your opponent so I saw alot of its strength but none of its drawbacks (namely the fact that they can be broken). If you could show some of the drawbacks of the release and fix everything else I addressed, then I could review your application again.
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Posted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 1:55 pm
I added in the techniques in on the list. To be fair, they can only be broken by a higher rank taijutsu technique; other than that they can't be destroyed and because of the nature of the enemy in the sample, it won't be. The reason why the enemy inside the sample never destroyed the crystals was to showcase the power it has, even though I understand the way it works because I used to have an RPC with that very release in POTS.
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