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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 6:21 pm
"None whatsoever!" Grave agreed whole-heartedly. He gripped her hand as tightly as he could - nothing compared with her strength - in an attempt to keep his arm from being wrenched from its socket with the Sanguines enthusiasm. "We ought to practise together to see if we can teach ourselves how to ammalgamate all we've learned into fighting skills. I have been slowly teaching myself to use Mudras in combination with other skills, but it comes slowly for me. I..." Grave scowled suddenly, his face dark with something terribly close to self-loathing. "I have a terrible weakness. I freeze, Kallisto. When I'm in danger, or those I lvoe are in danger, I just seize up. I need to beat that weakness out of me. I can never be a Grigori if I don't master it." He fell silent and pensive, thinking over his own weakness and brooding.
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 6:33 pm
 Kallisto smiled and eased off a bit so she wouldn't hurt him, and sat back. "We should, I-" She broke off as his face darkened and his eyes became shadowed at some inner problem. A frown quickly replaced her smile and she leaned forward, concern etched into the planes of her face. What was wrong? Did she do something without realizing it?
Then as the explanation came out, she huffed and let out a relieved breath. While she felt somewhat flattered that he would suddenly pour out his doubts to her, she was caught off guard too. She didn't like dealing in emotional things, or over thinking things either for that matter, and as a result felt somewhat lost. All she knew was that a friend was floundering and he needed a boost. So she gave him one - or tried to at the very least.
Her answer was simple, "Don't doubt yourself. Act. Don't think." She patted his arm, "What was your first impluse when Professor Bardane struck Torrid?" She asked, trying to lead to the answer even though she didn't quite understand why he was being so melancholy.
"Probably anger, right? Some desire to act. Don't squash that. Embrace it." She chuckled, "I may not think enough but thinking too much is a problem too. You'll learn, I'm sure." She squeezed his shoulder, "And if the time comes, I'm certain you'd act. Don't ever think otherwise, got it? Or I'll kick your butt again." She grinned, trying to bring him back out of his shell.
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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 11:24 pm
Grave listened to her response, hoping that it would shed some light on inner courage that he'd as of yet not been able to find. But shaking his head he realized it wasn't so simple. "It isn't like that...It's not indecision. I just go blank. I just stare, and i can't think, and I can't move. In sparring it's different. It isn't the real thing, and on some level I know that, and so I plot, I plan, I act." Grave shrugged and smiled appologetically. "I'm sorry, I don't want you to feel as though you've got to sort out the broken inner workings of me...But you ought to know that about me." He looked passed her to the bookshelves and sighed inaudibly. "In Torrid's case there was no anger, no guilt, no horror at first, just shock. After it was over, then a few feelings came, but not many. After it was over I could think again...but...by then it was too late." He returned his gaze to Kallisto's face, and smiled in spite of himself, cheered by her presence. "I can't have it be too late when it matters. That, more than anything, is what I am training for. And if I'm able to train with you, I want you to not hold back, because you're stronger than I am, and I need to be pushed so that I'll grow stronger too." Grave had that spark of ambition back in his eyes, but his hands were still curled together in his lap as if mourning something he did not have.
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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 11:49 pm
 Kallisto scoffed at that. She, stronger then him? Pfft. Physically, maybe, but emotionally or mentally - that remained to be seen. As far as she was concerned, they lay on equal playing fields. "We're even. I'm not stronger then you." She sighed, though, she couldn't really understand what he meant and it frustrated her. What was it like to totally freeze up? Acting instinctually she understood but lack of action was something entirely different.
It annoyed her that as much as she tried the understanding didn't come. The desire to help, to do something to fix the problem burned brightly but the key that was understanding evaded her imagination. Chewing her lower lip, her head sank down onto the table and she sighed again, "I'm sorry.... I'm really no help. I.... I...." She paused, trying to decide on how to say it, "I'm.... not that great with emotional things. I don't understand, even if I try. And I want to, I really truely do... but it just doesn't make sense. Give me something to work with like alchemy or sparring and I can grasp the concept quickly but something as abstract as..." She turned her gaze to Grave as she fumbled for an example, "As abstract as Gregor's motives with that stupid potion just don't click. As far as I'm concerned he should receive the same injury he inflicted on Aysel only many times worse. The actions speak louder then words."
She ended abruptly, realizing she was getting into a rant and merely closed her eyes. If there was something she'd like to develop it was understanding of how people worked if only so that she could truly be of service to Grave. She knew that actions weren't neccesarily as simple as they seemed - Gregor was a perfect example of that... but... "Agh." She audibly groaned at herself. She was thinking in circles again and getting no where fast.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 7:30 am
As Kallisto slumped to the table, Grave reached out a soft hand and rubbed her nearest shoulder comfortingly. "I'm not terribly good with emotions. I don't understand them, they just are with me. I used to try to supress them, to ignore them because they didn't make sense to me. But I learned how to appreciate them and when I did that they began to intrigue me. Now I'm very curious about them. I've been trying very hard to understand them. They're great motivators, I find. But whatever understanding I've managed to glean has only made me sympathize with everyone, even when they're wrong. So that, in cases like Gregor, or Bardane, I can't just dismiss their actions. I have to think about their motives, that's what's important to me. Not what they are doing, but why. Because it's the Why that changes the meaning. The difference between a slap to reprimand a friend and a slap to pain him. The difference between a hug that comforts and a hug that lusts for... The reasons we do things shapes our actions, and the feelings that form those reasons defines our actions as meanings. It's the meaning that is how we communicate and how we interact and how we grow together." Grave trailed off, suddenly realizing he'd been speaking aloud. His thoughts, vocalized and echoing from the deep bookshelves around them. He blinked at Kallisto, a little bewildered, as if he had not known such words were in him and watched her, wondering if any of it had made sense.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 4:28 pm
 His words reached her and sunk in, their meaning not lost but food for thought. Such subtlies annoyed Kallisto - why would you slap a friend if you didn't mean them harm? Or hug if you didn't care for the person? As far as she was concerned it would be a lot simpler if people were frank and did as felt rather then hide their intentions behind confusing signals. If Grave's freezing wasn't the result of indecision then it had to be some other kind of block.... something Kallisto couldn't quite grasp - at least yet. She didn't like being confronted with something that tripped her up so much and she was determined to learn how to help. "That's what I want to know too... why you would slap somebody if you cared for them. Why - that's the bit that confuses me. If I understood I could actually be helpful to you." She sighed, gazing at the books spread out before Grave, and smiled, sitting up straighter. She was never one to dwell on things too long, prefering to keep active and improve - find the answer rather then discuss the problem.
"But we shouldn't focus on the problem. You can't improve if you don't try right? I don't think we should just help each other be good Grigori but assist in things like this - you know... friends." She replied, the last a mix between statement and question as though asking permission to be friends. You could have a rival without truly being friends, afterall and Kallisto found that she really didn't want to consider Grave merely a rival.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 4:52 pm
Grave's face cleared to a perfect mask of smooth expresionless beauty. He evaluated Kallisto swiftly, in barely a heartbeat he'd made his decision. "Friends indeed." Grave held out his hand to Kallisto, wanting her to offer hers in return. He murmured softly. "There are many more emotions, I'm learning, than there are distinct physical manifestations. Context and connotation need to be felt and learned how to be read. It is important to learn how to distinguish between levels of emotion. Terror, fear, horror, petrification, unease, loathing, fright - these are all manners of Phobia, but they aren't the same. I believe it is these differences that help to determine what sort of people will react to the same stimulus." Grave shrugged and waved a hand as if to clear his words from the air. "I'm rambling, forgive me..."
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:04 pm
 She grinned the unsure look in her eyes evaporating instantly as he offered his hand. Kallisto took that hand though she didn't shake it this time around as she remembered his discomfort. "No no, I don't mind rambling. I do it more often then not if I don't catch myself." She chuckled, "I'm more of a hands-on learner but that doesn't mean a good conversation of two will hurt - more a boost then anything else, I think. You've got lots to offer, I can tell, and you're too. I can learn quite a bit from you." She bowed slightly, bobbing her head, "Thank-you." There a kind of quiet joy in those two words, a happiness that she'd made a friend beyond a simple 'how do you do'. "I don't know if I can do as much for you but I'll try."
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:52 pm
Grave lifted Kallisto's hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the backs of her knuckles with a gentle smile. "Believe me, you have much more to offer than you think. I find that Sanguines make me open up far more than my Melancholy Essence would normally allow. For instance, it is because of Mathiaz that I embrace emotions at all. Something about your Sangunie fire and pep and vitality...it warms these cold Melancholy nerves." Grave made a humble gesture, as if he were an old and feeble man, but his face was bright and his grin wry.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:09 pm
 She blinked, staring at him, dumbfounded for a moment. Nobody had said anything at all about him being so... gentlemanly. It made a blush rise to her cheeks and she looked down, a goofy grin on her face as she withdrew her hand. Nobody had ever said anything like that to her... not even the professors and only served to further better her opinion of him.
She couldn't help but chuckle. She'd come full turn from thinking of him as some kind of aloof ring master to an enjoyable friend and it struck her how quickly one's beliefs could be swayed simply by seeking the answer for yourself. It made her look up once more a flash a brilliant smile at him. "You flatter me, my friend." She didn't say anything for a long while after that, trying to sort out her thoughts. Loathe to end to the conversation so soon, she winked, "Perhaps the aloofness of a Melancholy will help temper the flames of Sanguine. Just be careful not to get burned!" She laughed, gesturing at his books, "Finished studying? Perhaps we can grab something to eat. I don't know about you but I'm hungry after that sparring match." Her stomach growled in agreement, letting it's presence be known to all.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:26 pm
Grave smiled and shook his head. "I never flatter, I compliment." Then he blinked at her question. "Ah? Oh, yes, I think I've remembered all I can for the moment." Grave turned to the desk and began to gather up the Tarot cards. He chuckled as Kallisto's stomach growled. "I'm sure you must be, Kinesthetic that you are, your muscles must be screaming for meat." Grave smiled as he said it and collected three books from the desktop that he intended to borrow. "Let me just ask Requiem if I can..." Grave swayed unsteadily as he stood up, a head rush making his vision spin. "Oog, I think I'd better eat something too, I feel even weaker than usual!" He laughed it off, back had to focus to get the swimming lines of bookshelves return to being stationary rows.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:38 pm
 She laughed at his comment, "I do love my meat." As he collected his things, she stood and turned to disappear into the shelves as he began swaying back and forth. Kallisto paused, a look of worry shadowing her face for the brief flicker of a moment then dissolving as he regained his balance. "Would you mind if I just grabbed a book on circle magic? I don't want to keep you but I thought I'd actually borrow a book - or two - from here." She shrugged helplessly, "Look what you've done! You've gotten a kinesthetic to borrow a book! What is the world coming to?" She laughed merrily as she edged towards the stacks of books, waiting for his reply.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:49 pm
"I'd love it if you borrowed a book or three." Grave smiled happily. "A kinesthetic borrowing a book and a Melancholic remembering to eat..." Grave made his way to the front of the Library and looked about for Requiem. Finding him crouched over a massive tome on the floor, Grave lifted his books and cleared his throat. "Requiem... I want to borrow another three, if I may..." Requiem jumped in his skin, his fur fluffing cutely. He turned and grinned sheepishly. "I've got Healing Power of Chakras, Sparring, and Magical Portions of Worldly Ingredients. May I borrow these?" Grave smiled as Requiem adjusted his half-moon spectacles and jotted down notes in the Library Registry.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:55 pm
 At that, Kallisto slipped back into the stacks, quickly trying to find the section from which to pull her book. After a bit of hurried walking, she found the magic section and leafed through some of the books. One was a type of manual, more balanced between practice and theory and she grinned. "Excellent!"
Returning to the table, she took her two other book, placed the one she'd borrow later on a nearby return trolley and headed to the front where she found Grave and Requiem. Stepping up behind Grave, she waited patiently for her turn, the books carefully held at her side.
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 9:08 pm
Hand in hand, a certain pair of boys wandered into the library on their way to pick up a manual on treatments and diagnosing health issues to aid in their newly started apprenticeship in the Infirmary.
Together they passed by Requiem and the zeros he was attending to, waving to say hi before they dissapeared into the tall stacks. Argentum broke off, gesturing towards the more social and literature inclined section while Aureus continued into the more scientific sections.
It didn't take long for the silvery Argentum to find his way into the Law area - one of his favoured sections. Browsing the titles, he moved sideways, lost in thought as he contemplated the volumes and bumped into Yalitza. Startled, he jumped and fell backwards, eyes going wide. "Wha-!?" When he saw it was only another Empyrean, he laughed softly and adjusted his ruffled clothing. "I'm sorry! I didn't see you there. Are you interested in Law too?"
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