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 Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 7:16 am
Yeah! I totally wanna see this guy!
-Lea
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Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 9:15 am
I could kiss Arrow right now. Sorry I've been away, life business and all that. I've been meaning to chew his a** out for griping like a little kid for ages. While that may come off mean, I don't believe I was ever that whiny even when I was in high school, I had the good decency to keep it to myself.
But Drew and everyone is right, buck up chuck and do something. So you have medical problems, who cares? So does everyone, except me. You have to pay what for school? under 1300 for tuition? You poor baby, wait, your parents pay for that. You want to trade lives? I'd happily sell you mine where I need to pay over 8 GRAND a year for school, that's $6000 for tuition, $1000+ for books and materials, another $1000 for transit and I got a million other things to worry about on top of that.
It drives my brain to insanity when privileged kids b***h about how rough they have it. I've fought tooth and nail for everything I have, material possessions et all. I'm not going to lie, I hate people whose parents pay for their schooling, and I hate it even more because they have no right to b***h about anything except their work load.
I know this rant is a little dated but I don't care. Its like watching a brick wall cry, pathetic. A vacation in TWO years? holy christ get this bloke a plane ticket. I'm in my 4th year of university and I spent 5 years in high school and haven't been on vacation, a real vacation that hasn't gone uninterrupted since grade 4, so my 13 years beats your 2.
What bugs me a lot about this whole crying business is how your parents hate that you stay strapped to your computer 24/7 and don't go out but they don't let you go out? I know a lot of stupid parents, believe me, I was born a b*****d which automatically tells you my original parents weren't mentally fit for that task, only to be given to an even more unstable family who after a few deaths have become something likened to a walk in social home. I have a hard time believing your parents hate that you don't go out and don't let you out. And what ever happened to inviting friends to your place? I smell a billy goat in that... And so what about parties? Do you have any idea how much of a facade hollywood has placed on college life? If you think life is just a great big dorm family get together you're sadly mistaken, unless of course you live on campus... stupid friends... so lucky.
You know the beauty of riding your bike in hot weather? There's a breeze, you keep telling me you want, or should get more exercise, well there you go champ, walk a little for crying out loud. I'm so sick of people bitching and griping about weather, am I the only one who enjoys pushing their body to the limits to see where it can go? When its hot I go for walks, when it rains I see how long it takes for me to freeze, when it snows, okay, so I don't much like the snow but it isn't like I shy away from it. Using the weather as a scapegoat, dear god...
I'm done ranting, it'll get vulgar if I continue. People who can't make their lives better are a waste, and those who can't appreciate what they have and are given are useless in my opinion. Life is only as s**t as you make it, and I see you've made it into a pretty heaping pile.
In other news, congrats Tommy! Its so strange to see people getting married, it makes me feel old, but then again, in a few years I'll be on one knee myself. Once school is done, but before teachers college I'm going to save up for an engagement ring. So with any luck I'll be engaged before 25 and married some time before or around 27. Jeeze, I can hardly imagine that its really been nearly 5 and a half years that my girl friend and I have been going out. Where'd the time go?!
Ah, anyway, congrats again Tommy! Can't wait for the pictures!
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Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 11:05 am
Harsh, but honest. Don't take offense, Nick--it's the only way he knows how to show he cares (or so methinks).
~Andrew
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Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 12:25 pm
No actually I'm Pretty much over it right now... still upset about it, my mom just got on a plane for chicago and my dad has to go back down south for work tonight. I need to talk them about stuff and yes I know, I should have mentioned that I need a new bike, cause mines a piece of s**t. And I would invite people over, but my mom is SO UPTIGHT about having people over she doesn't know, and if the house is even of the slightest bit of dirty she'll flip at me for letting people in with it looking like that. Yeah, I wanted to keep most of the details to myself as well to not sound too whiny, but honestly they asked for more... they got more, if you don't like that, then talk to THEM. I was done ranting about that after the first post on Saturday or whenever the h*** I posted it.
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 7:04 am
The Great Lion In other news, congrats Tommy! Its so strange to see people getting married, it makes me feel old, but then again, in a few years I'll be on one knee myself. Once school is done, but before teachers college I'm going to save up for an engagement ring. So with any luck I'll be engaged before 25 and married some time before or around 27. Jeeze, I can hardly imagine that its really been nearly 5 and a half years that my girl friend and I have been going out. Where'd the time go?! Ah, anyway, congrats again Tommy! Can't wait for the pictures! Thank you so much! <3 I'm still trying to convince my brother to let me use his camera. Its not like I'm taking it out of the house, I don't see why he won't let me. >.<
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:12 am
Never mind the congratulations, the ring, or my happiness; he's left me over kisses I don't remember giving to another boy. Apparently when he said forever, it didn't account for turbulence. But he says he will still be my friend, so I haven't lost him completely... And I know that once I ask around, and figure out what's really going on, I can present the proof I've found and win him back. Because I know he still loves me, he's just hurt right now... And I wish to god I could make him not hurt anymore, but this might be my fault to begin with... And I hate myself so much right now, because if I really did kiss Andrew after Phil and I became attached and in love, then I'm the biggest idiot I know. And I just want to crawl under a rock and die right now, like you wouldn't believe...
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:44 pm
Aw Tommy *Hugs* if it's one kiss the guy is being ridiculous, honestly. Every marriage goes through ups and downs, it just takes time. Mostly it seems to be a trust issue, try to talk to him, maybe explain that the two of you are more than just a kiss, if that makes sense. If your still friends with the other guy maybe just show that, Just Friends. I know it's hard for my friend, she has a crush on me, I didn't budge, she waited, then got engaged. Her husband and I are friends now as well so it's hard for her, but I don't do anything to push it to a point of where her husband will feel threatened.
Love is confusing though, sometimes the best thing can be to wait it out. Show him that he can trust you, regain his trust. Try not to do anything that would seem threatening to him in a relationship kinda way. It's hard, it's life, the worst thing to do would be let it drown you, control you. Like me the other day, I was upset, i posted about it, then it was done, I slept the night, thought some things over and I'm better. Holding it inside isn't healthy, anxiety sucks and having the thought that it's not dealt with would be bad,
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:51 pm
I still think you're too good for this kind of s**t, Tommy. He doesn't deserve you if he's willing to throw you away over a kiss. A kiss that might or might not have happened, when you might not have been dating him. What a queen. This is definitely one for the record books.
-Lea
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:10 am
Stacy enters battle with Cake!
Cake casts CRUMBLE!
Stacy blocks with SPATULA!
Cake attacks with CALORIE COUNTER!
Stacy uses SCREW YOU, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
Cake has been defeated!
Stacy has reached lvl 19!
w00t!
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 12:36 pm
That's amazing! And I love you. And you should find me on facebook as Andrew Swartz.
-Andrew
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:52 pm
Leavaros That's amazing! And I love you. And you should find me on facebook as Andrew Swartz. -Andrew The schwartz is strong with this one! Oh come on, someone was going to say it. And for those of you who haven't seen Space Balls, you haven't lived. Arrow, you are a genius! Happy birthday? ah who cares, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 7:54 am
omg lol, yeah Happy B-day Arrow, and yup that's a classic movie...
methinks his schwartz is bigger than yours...
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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:15 pm
Thanks, you two, it really means a lot to me. I dragged Phil downtown with me the day after I posted that, and we spoke to everyone who I hang out with, and everyone I'm seen with regularly, and every one of them stood up for me, and told him he was being stupid, and there was no way I did it. I don't think he really listened to anyone until Ayla spoke up and said, quite plainly, and as well he knew, that if I had, she would know, because she is my best friend, and I tell her, quite literally, everything. She also pointed out that for the last three and a half weeks, I have been angry with Andrew for what he did to Alex, and how he had been treating her, and the last time I saw him, I didn't get up to hug him like I do everyone else. She quite plainly said that there was no way in hell I kissed him when whoever told him I did said I did, because why would I kiss someone I'm pissed off at? And she also pointed out that it was a rumor spread by other people that caused the problems between Andrew and Alex to begin with, and that she's amazed no one has tried to spread rumors about her and Tom, because they have been together a little longer than Phil and I have. So now Phil is even more confused, and doesn't know what to think or who to trust... But he admitted today that he does have faith in me... Or he would be out of my house by now. I honestly don't think he's really going to leave me, because I don't think he meant it when he said it... It was a rash comment made in an emotional state. He even apologized the other night for the way he acted... But he still won't let me kiss him.
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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 10:44 pm
well that's good, but still 2 months? My brother and his girlfriend have been dating for 3 years and they haven't even moved in with each other yet. I have a feeling that he'll marry her eventually he just wants to move in together to be sure the 2 of them can handle living together. I mean, some quick relationships work out well but other times it's better to let it spread out. I mean my mom and dad have been married for like 32 years now and sometimes they can't stand each other.
It's been better mostly because my dad had to change his workplace, same line of work, same company, different mine. He works about 3 hours away from our house, my grandpa (his dad) lives like half an hour from where he works so he stays with him while he works and comes home when he has at least 2 days off, which sometimes is every other week or at worst once a month, depending on what they're doing at the mine. Any way, back to the point, even though they're married, I know deep down that both of them aren't as happy as they could be with it. I have in fact read a emotional letter my dad wrote, I know it was never to get to my mom, he just wanted to get it out.
There will be ups and downs along the way, just try to come to compromises where both of you feel happy with it. Marriage isn't as bliss as it seems to be portrayed in movies, well some of them as well as on TV. But really in the end no one makes it out alive, so just make the best of it as much as you can.
and yet again, another doctor phil moment... lol mrgreen
~shadow
PS... yes I'm in a much better mood than Friday, just needed time away from parents. Dad's down south, mom's in Chicago for work, comes back Saturday stare
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Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 10:34 am
*pointedly ignoring last note*
Hi guys--it's me again.
Just something I posted on Facebook yesterday....
"Yesterday, I had one of the greatest days of my life. I spent it between four friends. I played video games with the first two, did that and talked politics and religion with the second (and his family), and with the final, did all that and still swam and watched movies for hours. I will always remember that.
It's funny, in a way. I've fallen for so many guys. I used to be afraid of what they might think, or worry that they might not return my feelings, but I don't anymore. For a while, I felt--and still, sometimes, feel--that I can love enough for the two of us. For all of us. Some have shown animosity for me, or distaste, or awkwardness. These people I can quickly--usually--shed from my life, my mind...and in a sense, from my heart. But there are others who come to care for me in their own way, some who dare to love this fool back. Who put the awkwardness aside...because they think I'm worth it.
And these guys whom I love, and who have or could come to love me.... These are the ones for whom I feel apprehension or sorrow or worry--each with his own brand of these--but they take from me doubt and fear--and, what's more: they fill me with joy and worth.
These were four such guys.
Now, for all you writers out there (and some of my few readers), you already know that this story has a sad note, too. I would argue that the sadness is in some ways, obvious--relationships like these tend to have sad notes.
In this case, I feel too fully. Yesterday was so perfect from start to finish, and my friend had spent the night (as had the first two before). Now this might surprise some of you, but most of my guy friends don't have qualms about sleeping over. For various reasons, mind you--but nevertheless, my friends are quite fearless. If I were to say this aloud, you would hear a note of fierce pride in this. My closest friends know better than to dismiss it.
The problem is that I listened to my head and not to my heart. When I went to the mall, and when I left my friend...it was like a hole opened where his presence had been. I was forced to confront the memories of those who had been close to my heart. A boy's brown eyes and warm smile, another's hair flipping and his feather necklace, another's dark curls shining in the light, another's scent and the way his body felt perfect against mine. One after another after another the memories hit me, and while to some it must feel as though it had been very fast, to me, it was just still. I could not cry out, or scream, or even talk about it. Everything was too still. One of the guys tried to comfort me. But he couldn't. The one I needed I sent biking home. I needed to make amends, to mend my broken heart and set this day aright.
And so, I found my voice.
I called him, and thanks to a last minute cancellation, he's coming back over tomorrow. A moment of strength in a lifetime of weakness. But that's all I have. That's all we ever have. Just a handful of these moments--mustering the strength to come out for the first time on a warm, Floridian night, or the strength to hold your mother's hand as she slowly slips from this life into the next, or the strength to tell a boy you know is straight that you, another boy, care for him as more than a person and more than a friend, or the strength to love fiercely and without limitations--all we have is just a handful of these moments, but they are more precious than diamonds. And who knows? Maybe these moments can save us, or redeem us, or justify our existence. Maybe when they are strung together by a golden thread, they can take our breath away, and give us a reason to take another.
Love & Vale, as always,
~Andrew"
And the same for you,
-Andrew
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