Welcome to Gaia! ::

Woah! Check out the firey dew on Arrow! Very nice!

I have to admit, using a computer on a computer desk is much easier than working on one on top of a shower bench. For those of you wondering why I was doing that, its because once upon a time I tripped on Salvia Divinorum so bad my desk consumed my immortal soul. Actually its because I didn't have a computer desk to use since my old one is back in the old country and this nice pretty one which funnily enough is the same as my old one was donated from my lovely lady who bought a smaller one and didn't want her old one.

In other news... I don't know how many people have seen Fred on youtube, but that kid disturbs me and it frustrates me that not a single one of his videos has less than 500,000 views. I just find him terrible grating and wish that something terrible would happen to him... like his camera breaking.

Well it appears I've exhausted most of what I wanted to talk about, aside from Saturday's party, which ended around sunday 3pm pacific time thanks to myself and my buddy getting alcohol poisoning. Luckily, I'm a durable old tool and released my insides but once. My poor friend, that's the last time we drink redbull and jagermeister... or any kind of energy drink, ******** THAT. Energy drinks are the devils work, and he ain't even proud of them.

so yeah, gonna probably soak my head for a moment and go to sleep!

I'm very proud of you Drew *applauds* .

On a note that one or maybe two of you might be able to help me with, I need a little help. See, ever since I bought my digital camcorder, I've been itching to make a film, or something short and interesting.

My problem is, even though I've been gifted with a long set of weeks where I can write for hours, I can't come up with a single idea to film. If anyone can throw me an idea, even if its something personal to you, give it to me and I'll try my best. All I ask is that you don't give me any over the top ideas, I have no money so the movies will be no budget as opposed to small budget.

Also, if it makes any difference, I won't have a big cast, probably 3 at the most and that's if I'm lucky.

Anywho, umm, not much else to say, day's been pretty drab, worked out for a while, played some COD4, now on to watching the last disc of Gunslinger Girl.

Today was pretty cool. I didn't have to go to any classes, because my physics class went on a trip to Great Escape. It's about 2 hours to get there, we left around 7:30 and got back about 6:00. Great escape wasn't so cool. The roller coasters all sucked, but it was awesome hanging out with all my friends, for one of the few times left.

People are kind of frusturated with Matt and me now. They are just like date eachother already. I mean our flirting is pretty outragous. We like pretend to fight just so we can be closer to eachother. If we were really fighting I would be beat in a second, he went to states for wrestling and I'm just weak. On the way back we were pulling eachother into one anothers seats, because of course we just couldn't sit together in the first place. Then I told him to sit between me and my friend and I fell asleep on his sholder with his head resting on mine. It was so comfortable.

I think the reason he doesn't ask me out is because of his mom. She is really controlling and he respects her wishes. He is really close to her, which is so sweet, but really frustrating right now. He is 18 almost 19, I wish he would just be like, "Mom, I'm an adult."

I did, Lion, I did. Any way, I want to shout at our power company, freaking jerks... well it's understandable, but still. Alright so last night I get woken up at 1am by a lot of noise lights and everything else too, don't sleep good any way. Well at first i though it was weird, their truck looks like an ambulance and it was over at our neighbors, and I was a little worried, my friends dad has had a stroke before, so yeah. Any way, I finally get my phone to work right, as much as I could, and text my friend, he tells me that their power went out and everything is fine.

No it's not, they're working with noisy equipment literally right outside my window. I didn't get back to sleep until 2 am. and I only slept for like not even an hour before that woke me up. And you'd think someone else would notice the noise the damn, f'ng bright lights from the truck, but no. Not even my mom woke up and she's a lighter sleeper than I am, usually a small knock on her door would wake her up. Unless she took ambien (sleeping drug). Ugh, and yeah my friends getting married today so I was like all worried and stuff, I was wide awake. Meh stupid power people. gonk gonk

*edit: And to add on top of that my phone that I've had for just over a year is broken and died earlier this morning. The piece that is INSIDE the phone that connects the wall charger to the batter cracked in my phone, and I wasn't able to charge it at all. The battery died early this morning and the phone is now dead. POS. it was nice and everything but it was getting aggravating, it would just shut off in random moments for no f'ng reason. But any way, it's all good, once my mom gets off from work, we're going down to the verizon store and I'm getting a Samsung Juke. sweatdrop gonk

Meh, i feel like crap, need a break from everything... so this past weekend, had a wedding on friday, my nieces b-day party on saturday along with another wedding after that also worked that morning too. I work until wed, get thursday off, work again, spent 6 hours at work today sweeping, moving displays, moving furniture and other fun stuff cause we got new floors tonight. I'm basically ready to kill over and call in sick. I haven't had a weekend off in like a month. Along with that I haven't had a Saturday where I haven't had anything going on other than work, seriously, no time to just relax. I feel like I'm getting a cold and have a feeling that it's probably stress related, ugh. My arm is starting to hurt and my foot hurts like h*** already. Honestly don't work retail... it sucks big time. Only and only if you can find a job in retail that's in your interests. Not just grocery, office supply or stuff like that, what YOU enjoy.

Well, it's almost midnight here, I slept like crap last night cause I couldn't breath right and I'm tired as h*** so good night my online buddies.

~shadow

Ever feel like you're caught between being two different people?

You guys know this as the story of my life. Trapped between ideals and actualities, with a snail's progress towards a better, fuller existence.

One side of me existed last night. I was with a friend in my pool, and the moon was shining through the grandfather oak in the front yard, dappling the water shades of gray. The too-bright lights of the house danced on the almost-still pool, accenting the warmth of the summer night. We talked, increasingly as the moon rose, of things that are best spoken of at night. We spoke of beauty and love, truth and sacrifice, memories and their making, and of all things usually barred from conversation. The moon glowed a faint red, which both of us noted was pretty, if the fact was ignored that it was probably caused from pollution. He said I talked like a poet writes. I smiled in the dim light, and replied that it was the natural cadence of my words brought on by the falling of night and the dawning of my awareness. When he raised an eyebrow I laughed, and said simply that I'm more nocturnal than most. When he left (after a brief, but bitter battle with that harpy of a woman I call my grandmother), I called Patrick about a party that went on today, and we talked deeply and without remission about feeling, what he meant to me, and finally explaining the weeping incident.

Then there was today. A flurry of action between writing emails, taking hasty showers, yelling at my family, jumping in the car, getting a cheesy card, putting money in it (sheik, in a cheesy way), making a fool out of myself many times at said party, including an incident of scoping that never should have happened (especially at CiCi's). I went on about how my new favorite word was 'confabulate' (v. to converse). Need I say more?

It was like I was taken over by a fabulous Mr. Hyde.

Why can't I just be...steady? Stable? Is perfect word-selection and emotional equity too much to ask for? Will I forever be at the whims of attractive men and moments of energetic enthusiasm? I can't bear the thought that maybe I screwed up this time, again, or even worse--undid all the progress I had made with him last night.

To be fully half wiseman, half fool...is there a crueler fate?
-Andrew

EDIT: Post #1800. w00t!

Oh Drew, your stories are just too funny. But they're animated and vibrant which makes them all the better to read because you write them as if you're putting the words into a journal that no one else will read. I still maintain that you're biggest problem is that you care way too much what you think of you instead of just having fun being you and not worrying about what you think. After a long day of being silly, just go to bed, leave the introspective non-sense for the days when you goof up and you can find ways to avoid doing that again. But for now, just don't worry about who you are, people Love you, with a capital L! So don't worry about being different, I sure don't, what point is there?

I'm happy, today my new 4th Edition D&D books come in! I'm such a nerd! Oh well, they better come in today, I hate the post service, I should've paid for the damn express delivery!I should also stop finishing my sentences with exclamation marks! Haha. I hate to say I downloaded the books to my MAC, but I've already paid for them, so it saves me scanning them into PDF format. The rules are so easy to follow, I do have some gripes about it, like how there is no longer a staggering list of magic items, guess I'll just have to make some up, hehe. Magic is so easy to use, oh dear, I can see adventures flying by, it makes me giddy and excited for Friday! Friday my group will be testing out a small mission, so excited!

That's all for now, tah tah chums.

I think heat does weird things to people. Our school has gotten out of school the past two days early because of extreme heat. I was so sad because I don't get to see Matt unless we stay after. How sad is that, I have to go to school to see the guy I like. Anyways afterschool today I went to my friend Erin's house with two other friends. It was so hot we went skinny dipping in the creek by her house. I don't know why I did it, I am usually the complete prude about those things, but I even took my bra off because I didn't want to get it wet, everyone else just went down to their undies. It's a good thing none of us are lesbians otherwise that would have been awkward.