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 Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:19 pm
And you'll thank me later. Really, you will.
-LD
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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:14 pm
This is the industrial I mentioned before.  You can really see the definition of my earcuff, too, which is splendid, because I love my earcuffs dearly. The pin for the earcuff is in the same hole as the CBR earing is. I can fit three pairs of earings in at one time. XD And here is my new tattoo, which I got today.  It says "Lohikaarme," which is the Finnish word for Dragon. You can see my Dragon ring in the shot as well, but its not as defined as the tattoo. And for those of you who don't remember, here's a shot of me without the new tattoo or industrial.  So yeah. And in none of those shots can you see my pretty blue eyes. XD Go me on a job well done at hiding my best feature.
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Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:51 am
And you have such vivacious blue eyes! *sigh* Well, how do things go with your new job?
Oh, and the tattoo--epic win. (Like the earcuffs, but what's an industrial?)
-Lea
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Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:28 am
The industrial piercing is the bar across the top of her ear. xd Wikipedia defines it as: Quote: An industrial piercing, sometimes called scaffold piercing (UK) or construction piercing, is any two pierced holes connected with a single straight piece of jewelry (compare to orbital piercing); however, it typically refers to a double perforation of the upper ear cartilage specifically.
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Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:24 am
Tommy: Awesome photos.
Everyone Else: I posted in the main forum... See if you can find it. ninja
(Hint... It's about vacation.)
(Actually that hint kind of gives it away...)
(I destroyed the purpose of a hint...)
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Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 7:22 am
Actually, Drew, I just had an interview. He didn't call me back yesterday, so I'm assuming I didn't get the job.
Epic win? [blush] Thanks, babe. That means a lot to me. Everyone loves it, but that wasn't why I got it. I got it because it has major meaning to me. And thanks to Muse and Angel, as well.
Oh, Drew, do you remember our beautiful boy from a while back? The 16 year old? I absolutely forgot to mention that he came over Monday night and spent the night. [explodes] XD I wish I had a picture... I got him into one of my fishnetty Goth shirts. He wanted to steal it, haha. But it clashed hardcore with his shorts, and my hips are wiiiider than his, so I couldn't lend him pants. I'm going to make him come over more often, though.
Oh! For those of you who know about her, my half-sister is coming over tomorrow. Just a refresher, we've never met, she was raised by our grandmother, who told her her father was her brother, and then she found out the truth and was very angry, and now she is coming for a visit. I'm excited. Very very very excited. But I'm also nervous as ******** hell, because I'm a ******** freak (and proud of it) but I'm scared she won't like me... I've always wanted a sister.
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Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 11:47 pm
Nice, have a fun trip Muse, Tommy I hope the visit went well, and where has everyone been? It's been a dead weekend.
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:47 pm
If she doesn't like you, Tommy, she doesn't like anyone.
So tired. Grad Bash was fun on Saturday, but disorienting. My classes are winding down and leaving the strangest ache in my heart. Sympathy, empathy, communion in loneliness, beautiful feelings like joy and poignant sorrow return stronger than ever.
A friend that I used to like is dating someone I do like, and my couple--Kayla and Brian--is finally blossoming: as of yesterday, they're official. Romances cultivated or wild are beginning to bud, but how long will they last? I try not to worry about it, or hope too hard for change. There is beauty here, in this youthful Spring, these budding courtships. I will enjoy them while they last, and let them fill my spirit with their fragrance.
Although, I will admit that my soul hurts something fierce when I remember that I might never see Robert again, or Will, or John, or Haley...I have to remind myself that this is part of growing up--knowing when to let go and become. And besides, I'll always have my memories, and they are so very precious to me. That it might be weeks or even months between me and my friends.... I must be stronger. I'm stronger than this! But...but I'm so weak, too. No...not weak. Tender. This is just another reminder. Just another growing pain.
I've got to look at this as just another opportunity. To rewrite the course of my life, to grow wings and dare to fly. To find the me behind the broken mirror-walls reflecting what I want to feel, and find behind them what I truly feel. Maybe then I can remake those mirrors, in the image of my heart's true desire. And you know? Right now, I think I want to be weak. I want to cry into Robert's shirt and hold Will and kiss John on the cheek. And I want to be able to tell Henson all I never did. I want to make Haley happy.
I want to be the me that I am supposed to be, sure. But...I want to be me right now. Just the bridge between the two "me"s.
I want to write poetry again. I want to be able to weep at Fruits Basket again. I want to wander through history. I want to smell Mama again, and be encircled by her warmth. I want to do things differently with Will. I want to be a better friend. I want to give my whole heart to someone, a fantasy not of perfection, but kinship.
And so I number all of my regrets and dreams together as the contents of my soul, but I realize that sometimes its okay to mix in the guilts with the pleasures--my Heart of Hearts is complete again. I am Andrew! Justin, I'm me again. You were right. Just when I think I've burned out for the last time, I find that there's more to me. Another wing to this temple to Love. Another altar, burning with passions both new and renewed, surrounded by glittering memories and ornamented with sweet dreams and bittersweet regrets. The gates to my soul swing wide, and my heartsong plays on the instruments borrowed from friends and stolen from time.
I'm ready. I know it. I'm ready for anything. I'm stronger now.
...I'll have to be. After all, I have to be able to say,
Love and Vale, to almost everyone I know,
~Andrew
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:44 am
YO! Sorry I've been so sneaky lately, my laptop finally died (luckly it was still under warrenty) and I've been so busy with finals I haven't had a chance to get home in like, a month (which sucks, I miss my dog). There's the library computers, but the school doesn't like us to use them for anything that's not school-related. But I'm doin' it anyway, 'cause tomorrow is my last day! Sweet! And then I have to go find a job... I'll probably end up working at Publix... lame. But no more school for a few months! Hooray! And now I must finish my French assignments that were due two months ago... ever since I cried in class the teacher has let me get away with pretty much anything ^_^
(Sorry for spelling, I'm in a hurry and don't have time to use spell check)
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 9:13 am
it's alright spelling isn't one of my biggest pet peeves. So to warn you guys, i won't be posting much this week, I have to finish a final that's due tomorrow, and present it, I also have to present one that I already have done today, oh and i'll be working about 40 hours this week.
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:15 pm
THis summarizes exactly how I feel right now.
Remember this? Let me know if you do.
---
"Resolutions for a Golden Boy"
Falling and
Getting up again
Bruised and scarred
But still alive--
Still alive!--
And maybe, just maybe
I'll find the strength and the courage
To confront the past and
Face the present
And go on into tomorrow
Learning to live
And to love
All over again
With people who
Love me the way that I love them,
Learning to live just as I am.
Walking and tripping and
Swimming and sinking
Are the only ways I'll learn
How to stand on my own and
How to float above hardship.
If I fall, if I sink,
Well, then I'll just try
A little harder
On my next try--
And I know that I'll have those people
Who care about me enough to offer me a hand
And I'll take it!
I'll learn--
Even if it kills me!--
'Cause I'm doing this for me.
And maybe one day
Down the line,
After learning all the
Silly little things that matter most
Maybe I can offer a hand to someone else
And maybe I'll take a hand in dance,
Maybe I'll find someone who's willing to trip with me
As we make our own steps in our lives--
Maybe time will wear away some of my scars--
But for now,
At least for today,
I have to learn to live for me.
I must learn how to show myself kindness,
To put myself under discipline,
To develop myself fully
Before I warp the mold anymore.
So I'm sorry to all of those I've wronged
And I'm sorry that I've wronged myself so badly.
But I have to remake myself
In the image of what I was meant to be
Even if that causes old pains to return
Or creates new pains
I have to try
Before it's too late--
Another lifetime too late!--
To be myself a little better.
...And maybe then...
Maybe I won't cringe in front of a mirror
Or feel ashamed to hear myself on a tape
Or roll my eyes at every compliment....
Maybe I'll be able to smile at my reflection
And have peace with my voice
And accept compliments.
But....
It's time for a change.
Past time, I would say,
To start over.
Time for this old dog
To learn a new trick,
For this tree to bud and blossom
And to hell with all the rest!
It's time, dammit,
And this time
I'm not going to run away,
Or hide, or ignore it--
It's time to begin again.
And if tomorrow must wait
And yesterday must fade
Then today will be its own day.
Let this golden boy
Get some sun.
And just for a little while...
Let me have my time
To find myself
To tie loose ends
And to start new threads.
I want to try again...
Even if it kills me--
I want to exist!
I want to be someone
My Father and Mother
Can be proud to call their son.
I want to be someone
My friends can come to,
Someone I can love.
I want to be better...
For me.
~~~~~
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:39 pm
Oh, by the way, the Poetry Jam's tomorrow. Wish me luck!
-Andrew
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:39 pm
Good luck!
ugh... finally one more presentation, then I'm done with the spring semester... YAY! mrgreen but i'll be working a bit more hours, though hopefully not too much, I bet they want me to work a lot, I'm going to tell them 25-30 hours, 35 at the most a week if they need me to. So I may not be on very much but I'll try to keep up.
another ugh, i wish this headache would go away... it's nearly midnight and I have to wake up at 6am... sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 9:16 am
And this summarizes exactly how I feel: ********* woke up this morning swimming in my own blood. Well, not so much swimming but squishing and sloshing. In any case, for the past 3 days I've had an excessively painful boil on my rear end which I believe to be external hemroids. Let's just say I think I have two, well, one now, since the giant ******** exploded last night or some time this morning leaving me with a pleasant, disarming sense of euphoria. I must have bled at least a pint and a half, and boy do I feel woozy. It was not the best wake up call at 6:30 in the morning and draining the damnable thing for over an hour. My bathroom looks like I ******** MURDERED someone in there!
I still have a smaller one that didn't burst and believe me, I tried to pop it. I don't think I've bled so much in my life. I took video of the aftermath, because that's how I roll. It should be on Youtube within the next day or so, just check out CDNKvetch, maybe watch my other videos?
Sorry for being so... whatever that word is. But I had to rant because this pain is inhuman! Oh god... I wonder if a five story fall would kill me?
Awfully tempting...
Argh... I might be on later if I'm still alive...
the Bleeding Lion
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Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:01 am
Hurray for Drew! He is the same but different, yes, I think it makes perfect sense.
As the great Shun Yu once wrote: Live with a man for forty years, then tie him up and hold him over a volcano, that is when you meet the man.
Same logistics, if you look hard enough at them. Self-exploration is both painful and pleasant and sometimes you get lucky and the epiphany comes of its own accord.
I love making cameo's in other's posts ^_^.
In other news, I'm still in retarded amounts of pain, my appointment is in half an hour, which sucks a** because I've been waiting since TEN to see him. Its worth it though, after all the s**t doctors have put me through, I finally get to drop my pants and tell him to look good and hard into the brown eye.
Most of the blood has returned to my system, so I'm a bit less hysterical, the problem with that, I feel more pain. The price of awareness...
So yeah, I hope everyone is doing well, because I'm not. I have a Warhammer tourny in TWO days and I have a feeling my doctor is going to say no to me going. I've been practicing so much, getting better, honing my orky skills and now THIS. I could literally start crying right now. But I'll probably do that later, after the doc sees me.
the Pained Lion
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