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KibaB

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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 8:39 am

Press release-More shipping problems

Thursday, November 17th, 2005
10:05am

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Dear Elves,

Please do not be alarmed. The accident in the shipping yards this morning was merely caused by a malfunction in the crane mechanism and no one was hurt. Accidents happen all of the time, so please disregard and continue with your assignments.
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SECURITY CAM FEED

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:53 pm

Journal of ElfTech 101 User Image

Thursday, November 17th, 2005
11:15am

"From days of long ago, from uncharted regions of the universe, comes a legend, the Legend of the Amazing Elf, Master of Magic, a mighty magician, loved by good, feared by evil..."

Last night I was witness to the legend himself...

I was dropping off some forms for my boss 247 when I noticed that he was talking to 722... at first I didn't think anything of it, but then I noticed that 722 pulled out a deck of cards. Not just any deck of cards, they were Johnny K. Gambino's Gold Mountain Special Trick Edition Playing Cards!!! I WAS SOOOO EXCITED!!! eek

I then saw my boss 247 grab a card out of the deck and watched while 722, no, the AMAZING ELF, masterfully shuffled and played with the cards!!! My dad used to take me every weekend to Johnny K. Gambino's Gold Mountain to watch the weekend shows of the Amazing Elf, I could recognize his shuffling style anywhere! There was no mistake, I think he IS the Amazing Elf!! I wanted to get his autograph, but my boss 247 saw me and handed me another stack of shipping forms to handle. So I spent the rest of last night filling them out. crying

Anywho, so this morning I was trying to get the new crates in to Sublevel F, and it happened again. One of the crane cables snapped again, spilling out the new "super drencher 5000" that 247 told me would be arriving. Man, they really make these water guns look realistic nowadays. mad d Well, good thing we got that new crane arm yesterday, these cables are starting to get unreliable... Oh, that new girl that just transferred in um, 138 i think... I don't know where she is... she was supposed to help me move the crates in this morning.

Ah well... my dad once told me that people who rely too much on others never get anything done themselves... so I guess I should finish up for now. sweatdrop

KibaB

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KibaB

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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:55 pm

Journal of ElfTech 123 User Image

Thursday, November 17th, 2005
11:30am

Wow, MORE SHIPPING ACCIDENT! It's like dropping sub on floor... like ship...sub.... accident... um... nevermind...

Speaking of which, today we will have sandwiches catered from Pizmo's Subs. I hope everyone likes it.

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:56 pm

Journal of ElfTech 403 User Image

Thursday, November 17th, 2005, 1:50pm

If one had, for discussion purposes, an infinite amount of money and a infinite years available, would it be possible for one to select only the smartest grunnies and keep breeding them generation after generation until you obtained some kind of rilly smrt grunny with opposable thumbs and a well developed frontal lobe that was capable of sentient thought, self realization and self introspection??

KibaB

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KibaB

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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:57 pm

The Grimoire of ElfTech 571 User Image

Thursday, November 17th, 2005; 3:21pm

My oh my, was 247 in a foul mood this afternoon...I'm getting packed off to Durem to report on which kiddies have been naughty and which have been nice. The whole "peeking-through-the-windows" bit always turns my stomach a bit (you wouldn't believe what some of these kids hide under their beds) (no, you really don't want to know).

I was actually looking forward to a night's ramble about the place...the accident down in the loading dock this afternoon piqued my interest. I know we're not doing heavy weapons platforms, or at least haven't been in that business for a few years...so it was with quite a shock I saw the notices about the gatling gun and the grappler spilling out into the loading yard.

I guess I can figure out, there's only one big bit of heavy hardware we've been working on, recently...no mystery there, is there?

I'm supposed to be taking the 4:55 reindeer ride to Durem, but I don't want to freeze to death on the way, nor do I care to die of boredom. More elven magick. Translocation is such a pain, especially over long distances.

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:58 pm

Journal of ElfTech 137 User Image

Thursday, November 17th, 2005
3:44pm

Things are going well in R&D with the new group. We have been receiving parts for construction and everything is piecing together quite well. Having previous combat experience from my days in the service, it is only fitting that I ended up in this part of the facility >w
That girl who has been checking me out recently, Elftech 138.. She was also moved to R&D. We had a decent introduction, slightly awkward.. when we shook hands she seemed to hold on to my hand extra long and wouldnt let go. Her hand also seemed a little too warm even through her gloves. I wonder if she was feeling well. Anyway, theres more work to be done. Whats with Elftechs 722,247, and 101 all over there playing cards? 722 is quick with his hands.. I wonder how well he'd handle a knife :]

KibaB

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KibaB

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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:59 pm

Journal of ElfTech 403 User Image

Thursday, November 17, 2005 6:54 pm

There was once a great Sun God and he was sitting atop his silver chariot reciting the food pyramid when he saw the most beautiful Banana walk by. The Sun God immediately grew 1000 eyes all over his body, from scalp to toe to observe this beautiful sight, for it were not enough for only 2 eyes to observe the luminiscent pulchritude of the Banana.

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I think Legolass the Elf is really hawt. I heard he is into this thing called Scarientology. It talks about how an alien Xeanu Reeves is oppressing all our sekr3t powers. It sounds similar to what George tells me about the Sun God, maybe this is fate??

Mrs. Claus called me into her office. She says there was a security breach and an unknown outsider was recorded snooping through my journal!! She said it will be taken care of but I can't help but feel like I have to take matters into my own hands! What a serious transgression, this must be the positive ions of the MusaMusa reverting their spin according to Fermat's Little Theorem! The subspace of the inverted coordina-

ERROR 403: FORBIDDEN: We regret to inform you that the journal of ElfTech403 has been sealed due to a security compromise. Please do not attempt to contact her through this address any further. Thank you for your cooperation.

-S CORP
"Making Christmas..."

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 3:01 pm

Journal of ElfTech 722 User Image

Thursday, November 17th, 2005 8:20 PM

"In the meadow we can build a snowman ... "
Hah! Who says I have a bad singing voice?
"And pretend that he is Parson Broooown ....".
Not bad. Not bad at all! Oops. Elftech571 is telling me to keep quiet again. He wouldn't know good singing if it reached out and bit him on his well-toned Heine-kin.

Yesterday I got my new job assignment. No more etch-a-sketches for me! Elftech247 assigned me to working on moonshoes. Well, actually, he thinks he assigned me to work on a new CoKi Kitty utility belt and other CoKi kitty accessories.
"hey, wanna see a cool card trick?", I asked him. "pick a card, any card ... "
"look, I am really busy here. No time for games".
"just pick a card. It will only take a second", I cajoled him, with a close eye on the stack of work orders on his desk. Time to pull a switch ...

Elftech247 seemed annoyed, but took a card.
"Now what I want you to do, is memorize your card." I kept up the magician's patter, while shuffling the deck. " You have it in your mind? Don't forget it now!" I spread out the cards in a fan on his desk. "Now place your card back in the deck. You remember your card, right? Keep it fresh in your mind. I need you to really concentrate on the number so the telepathy will work."
When I picked the cards back up and began shuffling, my work order was in my pocket, along with the one for Elftech003. Moonshoes shoes, eh? That shouldn't be any trouble at all! Especially when Elftech003 does all my work, and completely forgets to work on her own project ... the utility belt. She's just so absent minded, i guess. hehe.
"Now, Elftech247, I want you to multiply the number in your head times 2000, then add 44 ... then divide that number by your original number --"

"I don't have time for this! Get back to work!" Elftech247 seemed a bit distracted. "I have to go check on what those other Elftechs are up to. I have no idea how you manage to keep up your quotas for toy production when all you seem to do is play cards and talk!" He ushered my out of his office, but as soon as he was down the hallway, I doubled back and replaced the work-orders with 'new and improved' assignments.
rumored to be ...
THE AMAZING ELF!

KibaB

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KibaB

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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 3:03 pm

Journal of ElfTech 977 User Image

Friday, November 18th, 2005
12:53am

Quote:
life isn't a business to be managed .. it's a mystery to be lived.

i have journeyed to the end of the 'list' .. i can attest that it has been checked no less than two times .. another long day for this elf .. off to bed for me .. the implements of doom and destruction themselves could crash down around me and not bring me to wake.

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 3:05 pm

Journal of ElfTech 912 User Image

Friday, November 18, 2005 ~ 1:24am

journal, journal, journal!!! guess what????? i got to work with that psycho- door- lights elf!!! i think he's kinda cute!!! 3nodding elftech126 he is, and self-warming mugs we're making 4laugh we're partners... awwww, and i LOVE our project because i came up with the idea to test the mugs with COFFEE!!!!!!!!!! I love COFFEE!!! blaugh and SUGAR, lots of SUGAR!!! i hope he liked the idea, too, and the coffee, and... maybe... ...me redface omg!!! what time is it??? i gotta get my head outta the clouds and take my medicaton!!! ooooh pretty, blinkin, blue watch... HEY maybe i should get 126 a BLINKING, BLUE, WATCH!!!! oh, oh, oh, i hope he'll like one... but i better make sure it works before i give it to him... not like we need anymore malfunctioning mechanisms xp

KibaB

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KibaB

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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 3:07 pm

Journal of ElfTech 247 User Image

Friday November 18, 2005
3:00 am
Authorization: 247
Password: ********
Encryption: text/plain

Transmission error. Unable to record. Recovered file follows. (20% loss)
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Everthin is oingaccodingto pan. he Lrry otte setprovded he euipmnt fr chmica resrves themoonshoe proidedthe epais tothe eg uits f th sui as ell.We cn mae du witout he uilit bels, toughI amannoed tey ae no don. I m no sur howmanyapperancs th bacup sit cn mae sice i wasneve meat fo lon perods f us. 13 hasdonewellwithit. Pogres an resarchgo wll. e hae fusd th clas an canon i plae, ad ca nowmoveon t thestud of he val iself We lreay knw ithas trane prpertes. opeflly t wil bejustwhatwe ned.

The assignments have gone remarkably well. Everyone assigned on Naughty or Nice research seems to be pulling through, and as far as I'm concerned right now, the less people in the building, the better for the R&D team's experiments and ventures. Besides, Santa has been so busy that there's no way he could get his list checked twice. We're having him take it easy until Christmas. This year is going to be an amazing year for S Corp. I've moved most of my workstation down to the sublevel since I'm down here so much. R&D has basically become my life at this point. I even got a cot for sleeping- sometimes the best ideas come in the middle of the night, and it's great to be able to wake up and then make the idea happen.

The raneincient ill ertanly e casingsomeprobems. 101willbe ale t easly cver t upthouh. he nxt sipmet wil beheresoon andwe cn moe tothe econ phae.

We're gonna make it, we're actually going to make it. Well, as long as 003 does those CoKi kitties. They should learn from 722- his moonshoe production is amazing!

This was the message in code thanks to green.
(Everthing is going according to plan. The Larry Pottar set provided the equipment for chemical reserves. the moonshoe provided the repairs to the leg units of the suit as well. We can make due without the utility belts, though I am annoyed they are not done. I am not sure how many appearances the backup suit can make since it was never meant for long periods of use. 137 has done well with it. Progress and research go well. We have fused the claws and cannon in place, and can now move on to the study of the vial itself. We alreay know it has strange properties. Hopefully it will be just what we need.

The crane incident will certainly be causing some problems. 101 will be able to easily cover it up though. The next shipment will be here soon and we can move to the second phase.)

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 3:08 pm

Press release-Yet more shipping problems

Friday, November 18th, 2005
10:05am

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Dear Elves,

Really, no need to be alarmed. The accident in the shipping yards this morning was merely caused by a malfunction in the crane mechanism and no one was hurt. Accidents happen all of the time, especially during crunch time, so please disregard and continue with your assignments.
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SECURITY CAM FEED

KibaB

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Nite Lewis

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Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 7:29 pm

Journal of ElfTech101 User Image

Friday, November 18th, 2005
11:27am

Sorta tired today... sweatdrop

My boss 247 had me up all night filling out forms... not just shipping forms but these things called LFI0508. Something about insurance and release forms for something called Din...on.thra.....poy..eee.....see..... gah, I can hardly say it.... um.... here, I'll just copy and paste: "Dinanthropoides Nivalis" sweatdrop

But yeah, after finally filling out all of the forms, I was only my way to the sleeping commons, when I noticed that the cute girl wasn't at her desk. It was weird cause everytime I walk by she is usually there... next thing I know I step on a loose spool of thread and totally fall on my head. crying

But when I look up, I notice that that girl was asleep under her desk. Poor thing. I walk over to her desk and notice under the sneeze guard that her assignment list include some ut....uto...pian ....be....lt....s.. oh oh, plutopian belts! I remember 247 mention that he needed those for something. I should probably bring them to him, they look finished and all. sweatdrop

Anywho, so I totally get lost in the facility at this point... apparently, I too tired so my vision is kinda blurry. After I finally drop them off, I realize that it's totally time for the shipments to arrive. It's too bad that 247 hasn't installed the new crane arm yet... cause today another accident happened... but what a surprise it was!! When the crate broke open, a bunch of little cute fuzzy white thingamabobs came out. They were so cute!! heart

That was just what I needed to start the new day! Who cares about sleep! I LOVE WORKING IN A SECRET ARCTIC TEST FACILITY! i heart heart

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 10:32 pm

Journal of ElfTech123 User Image

WOW, MORE SHIPPING ACCIDENT AGAIN! Looks like even more mouths to feed today! Must get la-unch ready for everybodies.

Today, we will have catered Egg Rolls and party trays from Emperor Egg Roll. I hope everyone likes it.

Nite Lewis

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Nite Lewis

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Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 10:33 pm

Journal of EltTech003 User Image

His mind in constant offense to protect his hollow truth.

Arms stiff from
repeated,
restrained,
repetitive motions.
Hands trembling, fingertips cracked and oozing.

His song ended on a malicious note as he left his cubicle for lunch and didn't return.

Two hundred pairs of moonshoes, accepted in the afternoon, but marked next to the name of 7 2 2.
Quota, quota, quota, the day resets to zero as I start again.

His frosted glasses, don't blur his eyes, enough to hide,
that they never.
meet.
mine.

Eighteen hours.
Almost, almost;
almost, almost.

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