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 Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 3:41 pm
Lazarus The Resurected i was looking back through some old word docs on my computer and found something i think every cutter should have a look at. A Cutters Regret
By: Thomas Coffin (AKA Lazarus The Resurected)
I look down at my arm
At the lattice work of scars
Like the old abandoned trenches
Of long forgotten wars
The conflicts in my head
The anguish in my heart
I think of all the times
I ripped myself apart
The battle is long over
But the wounds all still remain
I sacrificed my flesh
In my campaign for pain
I wish I could go back
To take the blade away
To just hold that poor boy
To look at him and say
Look at me my young friend
What is it you see?
You’ll turn out allright
For you’ll grow into me
But I don’t like my self now
The younger me would say
I cannot deal with all this hurt
I just want it to go away
Kid I know it looks bad
But look here at my arm
Think about these scars
And don’t bring yourself to harm
But alas I can’t go back
I cannot change the past
I guess I’ll just have to wait
And see how long scars last. This is really good. Very well put.
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 11:00 pm
I think there are a lot of negative things that come from cutting, you don't feel any better about yourself for one, and deep enough, your reminded of the pain for a long.long.time.
I used to cut myself when i thought I deserved to be punished for something, like a release. But it never went away, it's just like alcoholism, except in a different method of self-medicating. Believe me, things don't get better from it, they get worse, and it can be ADDICTING.
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 11:06 pm
the-kick-in-the-throat goddess_of_music well yes, i am a bad self mutilator...I wish to stop...but The depression kicks in...and it is REALLY hard to stop then please, keep going and then maybe nature will kick in and you'll either die from it or come close [which ever comes first].you wanna know why kids cut themselves? its because its the trendy thing to do they hear about it from their friends and then try it.then they go to school with cuts on themselves and hope someone pays attiention.[these people should be ignored and shuned because they continue the cycle of stupidity] cutting is for weak people. if you have ever cut or hurt yourself in anyway on purpose your an idiot and natures trying to tell you something [stop your complaining or hang yourself]DEPRESSION ISNT SUPPOSE TO BE TRENDY Not all people cut themselves out of trend, some view it as a method of self-medication and I myself sought always to hid my scars from the eyes of others. You sit there and pass judgement assuming this person is cutting for one reason and yet you know nothing of this person and quite frankly, it's borderline trolling. I would say right now, that you are aiding in the problem of people cutting themselves because you don't have the capacity for compassion or the will to even wonder what's going on in these kids' heads that makes them feel that mutilating themselves is necessary and their only where to escape from their pain. That's not Christian. It's DISGUSTING.
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Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 3:51 am
if you read this then you have my respect
Self mutilation, what mutilation. alot of the kids i was with said it was a sin that i should die for it they did not know the person they called friend was standing right by them did it to. alot of the Christen in my church were ether posers or didnt evan wont to go to church i was kick out of the church by the kids there i use to be loved i used to be populer to the younger age know i am hated an outcast tost into the fire by the very same people who once called me there friend. un challange hate for me. Child nor adult cared for the well being of others there cares fell onto there brain washt kids mind on what evil was soon they would be reading me as evil for the cloths i wared for the marks on my arm not asking y i started not careing if i ever stop nor when i change. as i walk in the vally of god walking further its starts to turn around it starts to turn into the vally of hell when your only friend was the shadow that walks behind you, you feel alone scared so you cut the pain you let the blood drip on the floor from your body leting no one see hiding it from gods children hoping they dont know hoping they wont find out because the fear of what they will do to you once they find out the pain they will give you the sorrow they will push down on you.........during my life as a child in achurch i use to call heaven and all my friends angels i was cast into so called heaven that had demons walking free then i was cast into a heaven i though was to good to be true friends, foes all around people who cared for you listen to your voise know become the hell i fear no one will listen to you nor look at you when you stand they cast you out when you tell them your not one of them put you down when you feel like crap and set you on fire when your heart is cold and broken.......
i started going to the 3 church ive ever been to and it was fun for a wile but as i got older more and more people look down on me blameing me for there kids misdeeds makeing me there devil when they needed to point the finger so badly so with all the pain i started to cut my life away once my finger then my hand then my arm then my neck my face and my lips i made it so not one saw then i made it so they could all see the pain they are giveing me the stress of liveing they way they made my life hell. they do not give a hand out they insted go down to there kids ears and say"look that is what the devil is" as they point there fingers at me i feel in my heart the pain of being alone as i fall to my nees bleeding down my face and arm cry asking for help...my help was never answered.....to the point of when my mind was lost and my soul filled with hate i pick up the reaper put it in my mouth and tryed to fire the trigger. but i could not because out of all my pain i kept seeing a face the face of a scared little boy holding hands with a sad little girl both crying both holding hands, this picture in my head never faded away its still there but not crying, but smileing, blushing, laughing not holding one hand but 2 hands know looking at each other in care and love, this picture gets more cheerful every day it never fades away but shines brighter and lighter then ever to were my dark mind is no longer a pitch black world but a bright and colorful world with happyness insted of sorrow, joy insted of Hate a world that i call my own a world i call heaven.
this is my life with god and ive stop cutting for know more over a year thaxs to the only true friend i can call my love Miranda she was the only one to take my hand when i raised it to the sky she is the one who will get me closer to a person i though un reachabul....god
cuting is not mutilation it is self abuse from the pain the other give us every one can stop it is if you have the will power to stop find something inporten keep that in your mind never let it fade and never let the pain take over let the joy and happyness be your world and block out the darkness
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 2:18 pm
black_joker_2667 if you read this then you have my respect
Self mutilation, what mutilation. alot of the kids i was with said it was a sin that i should die for it they did not know the person they called friend was standing right by them did it to. alot of the Christen in my church were ether posers or didnt evan wont to go to church i was kick out of the church by the kids there i use to be loved i used to be populer to the younger age know i am hated an outcast tost into the fire by the very same people who once called me there friend. un challange hate for me. Child nor adult cared for the well being of others there cares fell onto there brain washt kids mind on what evil was soon they would be reading me as evil for the cloths i wared for the marks on my arm not asking y i started not careing if i ever stop nor when i change. as i walk in the vally of god walking further its starts to turn around it starts to turn into the vally of hell when your only friend was the shadow that walks behind you, you feel alone scared so you cut the pain you let the blood drip on the floor from your body leting no one see hiding it from gods children hoping they dont know hoping they wont find out because the fear of what they will do to you once they find out the pain they will give you the sorrow they will push down on you.........during my life as a child in achurch i use to call heaven and all my friends angels i was cast into so called heaven that had demons walking free then i was cast into a heaven i though was to good to be true friends, foes all around people who cared for you listen to your voise know become the hell i fear no one will listen to you nor look at you when you stand they cast you out when you tell them your not one of them put you down when you feel like crap and set you on fire when your heart is cold and broken.......
i started going to the 3 church ive ever been to and it was fun for a wile but as i got older more and more people look down on me blameing me for there kids misdeeds makeing me there devil when they needed to point the finger so badly so with all the pain i started to cut my life away once my finger then my hand then my arm then my neck my face and my lips i made it so not one saw then i made it so they could all see the pain they are giveing me the stress of liveing they way they made my life hell. they do not give a hand out they insted go down to there kids ears and say"look that is what the devil is" as they point there fingers at me i feel in my heart the pain of being alone as i fall to my nees bleeding down my face and arm cry asking for help...my help was never answered.....to the point of when my mind was lost and my soul filled with hate i pick up the reaper put it in my mouth and tryed to fire the trigger. but i could not because out of all my pain i kept seeing a face the face of a scared little boy holding hands with a sad little girl both crying both holding hands, this picture in my head never faded away its still there but not crying, but smileing, blushing, laughing not holding one hand but 2 hands know looking at each other in care and love, this picture gets more cheerful every day it never fades away but shines brighter and lighter then ever to were my dark mind is no longer a pitch black world but a bright and colorful world with happyness insted of sorrow, joy insted of Hate a world that i call my own a world i call heaven.
this is my life with god and ive stop cutting for know more over a year thaxs to the only true friend i can call my love Miranda she was the only one to take my hand when i raised it to the sky she is the one who will get me closer to a person i though un reachabul....god
cuting is not mutilation it is self abuse from the pain the other give us every one can stop it is if you have the will power to stop find something inporten keep that in your mind never let it fade and never let the pain take over let the joy and happyness be your world and block out the darkness Well said, I'm glad you stoped.
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 3:27 pm
Princess_Yenni I was once so depressed I was thinking about doing...but then I thought God would not wan't me to do somthing like that to myself..so no I think it's awful. it's not a good thing to do and i'm glad I never did it..because it's like you are destroying your self and that's what the devil wants you to do. Glad you uh...avoided that.
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 5:15 pm
I used to cut...a lot and if it werent for a select 3 people i probably wouldnt be here now writing this and i would probably still be atheist.... GLAD TO BE HERE!!!!!!
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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 9:48 am
punkestbumm I used to cut...a lot and if it werent for a select 3 people i probably wouldnt be here now writing this and i would probably still be atheist.... GLAD TO BE HERE!!!!!!Good to have you still with us.
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 11:54 am
the book of leviticus says that is bad.
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 2:46 pm
RaveToTheGrave the book of leviticus says that is bad. the laws of leviticus have been obsolite since christ.
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Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:55 am
I think cutting in emorilly wrong in every way. God didn't bring us to life just to us kill ourselves. He made us for a perpose, some of us have a role or prophecy that we must fufill, and if hurt ourselves we just defeating the perpose, right? you only get one life, not do overs. Once it's gone you can't get it back...
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Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 4:02 am
GrimPumkin black_joker_2667 if you read this then you have my respect
Self mutilation, what mutilation. alot of the kids i was with said it was a sin that i should die for it they did not know the person they called friend was standing right by them did it to. alot of the Christen in my church were ether posers or didnt evan wont to go to church i was kick out of the church by the kids there i use to be loved i used to be populer to the younger age know i am hated an outcast tost into the fire by the very same people who once called me there friend. un challange hate for me. Child nor adult cared for the well being of others there cares fell onto there brain washt kids mind on what evil was soon they would be reading me as evil for the cloths i wared for the marks on my arm not asking y i started not careing if i ever stop nor when i change. as i walk in the vally of god walking further its starts to turn around it starts to turn into the vally of hell when your only friend was the shadow that walks behind you, you feel alone scared so you cut the pain you let the blood drip on the floor from your body leting no one see hiding it from gods children hoping they dont know hoping they wont find out because the fear of what they will do to you once they find out the pain they will give you the sorrow they will push down on you.........during my life as a child in achurch i use to call heaven and all my friends angels i was cast into so called heaven that had demons walking free then i was cast into a heaven i though was to good to be true friends, foes all around people who cared for you listen to your voise know become the hell i fear no one will listen to you nor look at you when you stand they cast you out when you tell them your not one of them put you down when you feel like crap and set you on fire when your heart is cold and broken.......
i started going to the 3 church ive ever been to and it was fun for a wile but as i got older more and more people look down on me blameing me for there kids misdeeds makeing me there devil when they needed to point the finger so badly so with all the pain i started to cut my life away once my finger then my hand then my arm then my neck my face and my lips i made it so not one saw then i made it so they could all see the pain they are giveing me the stress of liveing they way they made my life hell. they do not give a hand out they insted go down to there kids ears and say"look that is what the devil is" as they point there fingers at me i feel in my heart the pain of being alone as i fall to my nees bleeding down my face and arm cry asking for help...my help was never answered.....to the point of when my mind was lost and my soul filled with hate i pick up the reaper put it in my mouth and tryed to fire the trigger. but i could not because out of all my pain i kept seeing a face the face of a scared little boy holding hands with a sad little girl both crying both holding hands, this picture in my head never faded away its still there but not crying, but smileing, blushing, laughing not holding one hand but 2 hands know looking at each other in care and love, this picture gets more cheerful every day it never fades away but shines brighter and lighter then ever to were my dark mind is no longer a pitch black world but a bright and colorful world with happyness insted of sorrow, joy insted of Hate a world that i call my own a world i call heaven.
this is my life with god and ive stop cutting for know more over a year thaxs to the only true friend i can call my love Miranda she was the only one to take my hand when i raised it to the sky she is the one who will get me closer to a person i though un reachabul....god
cuting is not mutilation it is self abuse from the pain the other give us every one can stop it is if you have the will power to stop find something inporten keep that in your mind never let it fade and never let the pain take over let the joy and happyness be your world and block out the darkness Well said, I'm glad you stoped. The last part was so beutiful I started to cry. No one, not even the most stuck up person in the world should have to go throught the "hell" you did. I respect you for being strong and letting the lord take control.
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Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 4:07 am
GrimPumkin Lazarus The Resurected i was looking back through some old word docs on my computer and found something i think every cutter should have a look at. A Cutters Regret
By: Thomas Coffin (AKA Lazarus The Resurected)
I look down at my arm
At the lattice work of scars
Like the old abandoned trenches
Of long forgotten wars
The conflicts in my head
The anguish in my heart
I think of all the times
I ripped myself apart
The battle is long over
But the wounds all still remain
I sacrificed my flesh
In my campaign for pain
I wish I could go back
To take the blade away
To just hold that poor boy
To look at him and say
Look at me my young friend
What is it you see?
You’ll turn out allright
For you’ll grow into me
But I don’t like my self now
The younger me would say
I cannot deal with all this hurt
I just want it to go away
Kid I know it looks bad
But look here at my arm
Think about these scars
And don’t bring yourself to harm
But alas I can’t go back
I cannot change the past
I guess I’ll just have to wait
And see how long scars last. This is really good. Very well put. Beautiful!!
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Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 6:37 am
Gaylord Mule 3 i was looking back through some old word docs on my computer and found something i think every cutter should have a look at. A Cutters Regret
By: Thomas Coffin (AKA Lazarus The Resurected)
I look down at my arm
At the lattice work of scars
Like the old abandoned trenches
Of long forgotten wars
The conflicts in my head
The anguish in my heart
I think of all the times
I ripped myself apart
The battle is long over
But the wounds all still remain
I sacrificed my flesh
In my campaign for pain
I wish I could go back
To take the blade away
To just hold that poor boy
To look at him and say
Look at me my young friend
What is it you see?
You’ll turn out allright
For you’ll grow into me
But I don’t like my self now
The younger me would say
I cannot deal with all this hurt
I just want it to go away
Kid I know it looks bad
But look here at my arm
Think about these scars
And don’t bring yourself to harm
But alas I can’t go back
I cannot change the past
I guess I’ll just have to wait
And see how long scars last. Well said. I use to cut (I still want to) and that tells it all. Thank's! +]
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 9:57 pm
damn i just read that poem for the first time in a year, still hits home. i'm glad i didn't lose everything from my old comp. I still want to tattoo over all the scars.
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