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 Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 10:51 pm
Gho the Girl I'm going to go post some stuff. My Godmother is dying. It really hit me today, just how little my problems really are. The intensity of my situation, the angst and anger I feel . . . It is based on illusion. The illusion of one. The illusion of I. I have a lot of humble pie to eat. Agape. 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 3:20 pm
Gho the Girl I'm going to go post some stuff. My Godmother is dying. It really hit me today, just how little my problems really are. The intensity of my situation, the angst and anger I feel . . . It is based on illusion. The illusion of one. The illusion of I. I have a lot of humble pie to eat. ~huggles~
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:03 pm
So, my godmother died this morning, and I didn't even know until after church around noon. And I still had to go to group and work.
And I was still able to laugh.
How odd.
I'm going to shave my head, and burn the hair. I feel it would be a fitting loss to reflect the loss in so many other's lives. Plus, my hair has become a thing of pride. Just as I need to learn to let go of those who no longer are in my life, I need to let go of the illusions I hold that seperate me from my neighbor.
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:20 pm
Gho the Girl So, my godmother died this morning, and I didn't even know until after church around noon. And I still had to go to group and work. And I was still able to laugh. How odd. I'm going to shave my head, and burn the hair. I feel it would be a fitting loss to reflect the loss in so many other's lives. Plus, my hair has become a thing of pride. Just as I need to learn to let go of those who no longer are in my life, I need to let go of the illusions I hold that seperate me from my neighbor. I'm sorry for your loss friend sad . I'll keep you in my thoughts.
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:39 pm
I'm sorry for your loss.
Remember that pride is not Pride.
Might want to examine what scripture says about marking oneself for the dead before you shave your head.
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:43 pm
TeaDidikai I'm sorry for your loss. Remember that pride is not Pride. Might want to examine what scripture says about marking oneself for the dead before you shave your head. Where would I find that?
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:45 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:48 pm
rmcdra I'm sorry for your loss friend sad . I'll keep you in my thoughts. *hugs you both* Thank you.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:54 am
I'm sorry for your loss. You'll be in my thoughs.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 6:09 am
Gho, grief is a powerful emotion. That is not to say that you are so grief-struck that you are making a bad call. I'd advise you give it til the month's mind before making any decisions.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:34 am
Am I just setting myself up for failure on purpose? Do I want to fail? What about failing subconsciously counts as success in my ridiculous brain? I know I have the power and resources and support to get out of this. So if I'm not getting out of it, I must want to be there, right? This isn't systemic or systematic—I am so privileged in this regard it's not funny—I'm just being a whiny little b***h who's too lazy to do what's right because it takes more effort than drifting. What am I, algae? Clearly, I must just like being miserable.
--
Gho... sad heart
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:46 pm
Leviticus as I recall. I'd be happy to examine it with you.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:07 pm
TeaDidikai Leviticus as I recall. I'd be happy to examine it with you. Yes please. Bible Gateway would be a good place to start if we go over it via the net.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:03 pm
They say one can never go back.
It is also said that one cannot look to the future and the past at the same time.
This leaves me in an uncomfortable position.
Well it did...
Until I realized that what I need to do so I can stop looking over my shoulder is in fact ahead of me, rather than behind me.
I don't need to go back, I need to go forward until I have circumnavigated existence and returned to the place it all went wrong.
Round Terra defeats linear angst.
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Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 5:38 am
Fiddlers Green Round Terra defeats linear angst. This...is awesome.
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