Claire meets Lorenzo, a young necromancer who is new to the Lab, to discuss the similarities that their future Raevans have in common and the impending anxiety of guardianship.
Russian Raevan Caretaker Congregation
Claire had to admit she was a bit perplexed at the unexpected text the other day, much less from a name she had not recognized. The mention of the Lab was enough for her, though, and quite honestly she had not received an updated list of any new guardians since she had gotten her own briefcase more than a year prior. Meeting Nell at the New Years Eve party had assured her that there were many more new faces to get acquainted with. So, she had brightly responded and plans were made to meet in Barton at the end of the weekend. It was exciting, in a way, to help another newbie guardian - a way to pay it forward, she thought, much as Anita and Zeke had helped her when she had known next to nothing about it.
Of bigger interest to her was the mutual connection that their souls shared - both were Russian entities. Claire was glad that Lorenzo had been so straightforward about it, which although appreciated still touched a few sensitive memories. She had already discussed what had happened at some length with a handful of other people, but if it could help, then she would be glad to push her misgivings about the incident aside. Six months had already elapsed since then, the sting had certainly lessened - there were brighter things to look forward to, and she only hoped that what information she could provide would be of any use.
She slid into a vacant space at the Whistle Stop Cafe's tiny parking lot, and she took a moment to check her phone to make sure she was not too early. The snow that had followed her from the foothills was coming down in earnest, and she was a touch reluctant to get out of her warm car with only leggings and a dress to protect her legs against the elements. There was also a bit of nervousness on her part, seeing as last time, she had been the one to arrange an informational meet-and-greet out of the blue, and now the tables had turned. Claire straightened her coat and took a moment to gather herself, smoothed her dress, and stepped out into the cold. With the car door locked, she hustled against the chill wind to round the corner to the front, where they had arranged to meet first. Even if he had not been the only one waiting outside, Lorenzo did strike up quite an impression, and as Claire slowed her walk in her approach, she had to marvel at the difference between the reality and her own assumptions; she had expected that he would be older, given his formal manner of speech (or rather, text). It was not a count against him, however, and only served to strengthen her resolve to do her best for him as a Lab contact.
"Lorenzo?" Claire smiled gently, waiting a beat for confirmation before she extended her hand to him. "I'm Claire, it's nice to meet you; thank you for waiting." Another small breeze kicked up the snow and her legs were numb from the cold. She glanced up at the accumulated snowflakes on the necromancer's head and nodded towards the cafe behind them. "Shall we go inside?"
alpha lyrae
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alpha lyrae
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Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:50 pm
Lost In Translation February 8, 2016
The first place Aaron went to for advice was his old friend Peter Donahue.
Their spotty correspondence since the summertime had been increasing as of late, likely due to Aaron's ever-rising anxiety about their impending Raevan. Claire had just received another teasing text message a few days prior from the Lab assistant who had processed her paperwork, including a blurry photo of a human-like silhouette behind him in the tank. It was too far behind the man (with the most shockingly-colored hair he had seen in a while) to make out details but it was enough to send Aaron's pulse racing. Idle time at the office had been rarer with the number of end-of-year reports that his father had put off until the early months of 2016 and left so graciously to his son, and truthfully he was rather annoyed about that. Clarence had a ballpark retirement date set for the end of 2017, early 2018 at the latest, and planned to announce it in the grandest of fashions at their end-of-year party, but from the way that he had been avoiding work lately, Aaron wondered if he had not decided to get an early start.
Rain drizzled outside the office and he stared out the window, cheek resting in his palm. He still had a good chunk of the Aekea business reports to finish up but all he could think about was that text message. His stomach clenched painfully. Despite his misgivings about how he used to be, and the way that he and his friends had acted, Aaron admitted to himself that it felt comforting to be contacted by a familiar face. It had almost been fifteen years since they had roamed the halls together, and from what he had gleaned in his conversations with Peter and Levi and Ricky, everyone had grown up but there was still that sense of familiarity. These were still the same guys he palled around with, but things had changed with time, haven't they? He thumbed through the group chat that the four of them had started (and had been quiet for a while) before swapping over to his conversation with Peter, eyeing the last messages from a few days ago.
Message
>You been in touch with Ricky lately?
> Yeah man, we get drinks every now and then. dude is busy at the car dealership.
>Yeah I saw that. Looks like he's married?
> Nah just a girlfriend. Hes got a kid though, 3 yrs old.
He frowned. Should he or shouldn't he? His fingers went ahead without him.
Message
>Got any kids?
> Do u really think I'm the dad type? Hahaha
>True hahahaha
So that answered that. From as many pictures as Peter had of him and his attractive young girlfriend (he had honestly thought it was his wife at first, why had he thought that?), he would have figured.. but maybe he was a rarity among their old crowd. He had run the gamut of similar questions with Levi when they first found each other on Facebook just a few years ago, but Evan had added him quietly with little else. There was not much else he knew about his old friend nowadays, and Tommy was nowhere to be found.
Message
>You heard from Tommy or Evan lately?
> ******** em, they never answer back, theyre never on Facebook.
The second place Aaron went to for advice was his mother-in-law.
The gray skies of Durem did little more than make him sleepy as he worked in his empty office, so he decided he would rather burn the late night oil to finish at home than to fall asleep at his desk - the benefit of his father being the CEO of the business he worked for was that he could often make his own hours as long as the work got done. He had escaped the clouds as he approached the coastline, and in crossing the bridge to Gambino it dissipated entirely in lieu of the setting sun. The storm had passed over their island home that morning when he had driven in, as though following him to the mainland. Claire's car was not in the driveway when he pulled in, and upon entering the house he found a note tucked under the phone in the hallway telling him she and Cadi had gone grocery shopping for dinner and that they would be back soon. The mention of Cadi made him think of his earlier conversation with Pete and his high school days, which was a common occurence recently and it left him feeling bittersweet. Still, though, he was glad that there was something that he and Claire could do for her while she was job hunting - especially when she had been so uncomfortable regarding straight-forward gifts of money. He thought back to the text message again, and then to another faraway memory of meeting Cruz and Anita at a small cafe for a quick Q and A. What would their Raevan eat? What kind of food would they want?
Aaron had just hung up his jacket and stepped out of his shoes when there was a knock at the door. Three times in succession, always slow - Claire's mom was at the door; she had not changed the way she knocked for several years. She looked half-surprised to see Aaron answering the door.
"You're home awful early," she chirped after a moment, brows raised.
"Slow day at the office," he answered half-heartedly with a shrug and stepped aside to admit her. "Claire's not back yet."
"I can see that," Ivy answered briskly, but not unkindly, just as he would have realized that she would have noticed; Claire's car was not in the driveway, after all. She squinted her eyes at him with a slight frown, and Aaron pressed his lips together, sweating under her attention. However the moment passed and she stepped inside, brushing past him. He wondered where she had gone to but she was dressed in sweats and a windbreaker, a pharmacy bag in her hand. "Just stoppin' by for a sec to ask her somethin' but I guess that'll have to wait. Wanna get me some of her sun tea and sit outside for a minute?"
"Sure thing."
He went about fixing two glasses of the mint tea from the fridge in a state of half-confusion at her scrutiny, but he did not need to wait long for an answer. Ivy waited for him to sit down in the wicker chair outside upon handing over her glass before she set it decidedly on the table between them and threaded her fingers together on her lap and watching him with a level stare.
"Trouble in paradise?"
"S'cuse me?" Aaron's sputter must have given her the go ahead she needed, and she leaned back in the creaking chair but never took her gaze from him. A smirk made its way onto her lips.
"C'mon now, Aaron, you're not the most secretive fella in the world here." Her hands unlinked and she rested one on the table, just in reach of her tea. "You've been off since Claire got that message from Zeke the other day. You were actin' the same way when you thought you were going to be a dad before, too." He gave a noncommittal hum and his cheeks reddened, like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Her expression softened. "Ain't no shame in that. D'you think you're the first would-be dad to get nervous?" Aaron's heart hammered; sometimes he disliked how perceptive Ivy was, especially when it came to things he did not feel right in voicing.
"How many parents have kids with honest-to-God super powers, though?" He laughed nervously, his go-to in tense situations. Ivy's finger drummed against her glass thoughtfully, and she paused to take a sip.
"Doesn't matter," she said after a moment, setting the glass down with a resolute clack. He gave a nervous, bubbling laugh and combed a hand through his hair as he looked away.
"I don't know what I'm doing," he admitted.
"Who does?" Ivy's glass slid across the table and she rested it between both hands in her lap, dropping her gaze at last. "You can read all the goddamn baby books in the world or ask other folks, and you'll always get some idea, but fact a' the matter is that nobody really knows what the hell they're doin' when it comes to parenting, honestly." She chuckled warmly. "I mean hell, I was more nervous than Steven when Matt came along, I sure as hell wasn't ready to be a mom. But I did what I could and it helped a little for when it was Claire's turn. All you can do is work with each other, y'all can help one another out." Ivy's smile was fond as she seemed lost in some distant memory. "You got Claire, and me, and Cadi too, and the rest a' the family, and the folks you've met at the Lab." She met Aaron's eye. "You're gonna be fine." The stabs of nerves down his scalp did not relent but he did appreciate Ivy's sentiment. He tipped his glass to her with a smile.
"Thanks, Ivy."
The third place Aaron went to for advice, however reluctantly, was his father.
True to her word, Ivy had drained her glass quickly and continued on down the block towards her house, saying she had to wash up for dinner and that she would swing back by around seven. Dinner that night was shaping up to be a busy affair if both Cadi and Ivy were to join, and Aaron felt some lingering guilt for his own misgivings about the Lab. Ivy had picked up on his downturned mood immediately, and Claire and Cadi both were likely to figure that something was wrong - he needed to get his head on straight. While Ivy had intended to soothe, it had only heightened his worries that he was not fit to be a parent. Pete and Ricky and Levi were still free agents, and at least from what he could glean from their words, not feeling nearly as much guilt about the happenings during their teen years. He was somewhat impressed with their mental fortitude there - either that or he was merely running himself in circles, but he felt he was within reason.
He did not want to look at his Raevan and see the terrorized faces of Lawrence Yew and Sadie Purcell instead.
He hammered off a quick text to Claire as he went upstairs to fully change, and she replied in kind that they were stuck in the post-work rush at the grocery store, and that she would text him when they leave - followed by an addendum for him to "not snack on anything, you hear me?". He chuckled and set the phone down to pull the t-shirt over his head. He and Claire would work together no matter what, of that he had no doubt; he had promised to do that when they had fought in the parking garage and he had a lot to make good on. It still did not make him feel qualified to be a parent.
His eyes fell on the papers in his open briefcase when he re-entered the living room, and as irritated at his father as he was, it was worth one more shot. The wall clock told him it was just past five; Clarence should be home by now. Aaron grabbed the cordless and dialed his old, familiar home number. It rang a few times and picked up as though it were grabbed in a hurry.
"Aaron!" The delight in his mother's answer startled him after the casual tone of his and Ivy's conversation. "So good to hear from you!"
"Hey Mom, is uh.. is Dad around?"
"I'm afraid not, dear, he's still at the Club." Even if she would not admit her similarity in this instance, Ruth had the same knack for picking up distress in her son's tone, and she zeroed in immediately. "Is something the matter?" He made an irritated noise in the back of his throat but she cut him off at the pass. "Is it this Lab business again?"
"No, listen, everything's fine --"
"Darling, listen to me." 'Darling' was a favorite of his mom's pet names. A dubious word that changed its tone depending on who she spoke to, and while here she used it in hinted kindness, there was also an underlying note - 'be quiet and let me tell you what to do.' "I've been concerned - we've been concerned - for quite some time --"
"I know, Mom --"
"I don't think you do, Aaron." She cut him off curtly, voice high and still pervaded with ever-present sweetness, and he bristled, fingers flexing on the phone. She heaved a majestic sigh and continued while he paused. "Your father has told me that this has been effecting you at work, and really, that is not good! I can't imagine what it must be doing to you while off the clock." He hesitated and immediately hated how these words were ringing true to him. "Really dear, I don't know why you have to indulge your wife so. It's only an experiment, will it truly be the last opportunity you will have for it?"
"Mom --" Aaron warned quietly, but she laughed lightly and sidestepped his tone.
"I don't understand the need to carry on like this. There will be other chances I'm sure, but if it is effecting your work ethic, is it truly worth it?" He could almost see the smile on her face. "It is very sweet of you to indulge your wife like this but this is not a child. Think of yourself, and your needs, dear. I see no reason for all this fuss over an experiment." Aaron felt tired. In a few short words, Ruth had dismissed his doubts and cut Claire down as much as she could in one go - there was that phrase again, "indulge" his "wife." He could always tell when she particularly disapproved of something Claire did whenever she would refer to her exclusively as his "wife." His mother sensed her victory and the smile read in her voice. "I'll tell your father that you called, he doesn't have service at the Club when they're out on the greens."
"Thanks," he replied weakly.
"Thank you for calling," she added sweetly, and then a slightly more genuine addendum, "and.. please consider this seriously, if only for your poor mother's nerves. I've been terribly worried about you." There was a jingle of keys in the hallway and the eventual opening of a door, followed by a rustling of many bags and two chatty voices as Ruth hung up. Aaron stared at the phone in disbelief and let go of the breath he did not realize he was holding. If anything, he felt worse than before; but as Claire's head poked around the corner, he pushed everything deep down inside and smiled, leaving worrying to later that night, when he would be pouring over his leftover reports and haunted by his mother's advice.
"Let me help you with those."
Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:59 pm
Batter Up February 27, 2016 Skype PRP with NeonMace
Aaron and Henry go to the batting cages to decompress from their respective situations.
Something was up. Aaron might have had his plate full with his own anxieties and worries but he had been texting Henry and had received more half-hearted answers than he was expecting. What had happened? He had spent many a day frowning in his confusion at his phone; there hadn't been a lot of information to appease his worries. Maybe this was the wrong tack; perhaps a distraction was in order instead. It was likely fueled by his own anxieties on top of everything else, but Aaron made a hasty decision and arranged an impromptu night out via text. Whatever was going down at the Knight household was heavy, and it sounded like Henry needed to get out for a while. He heard Claire banging around in the guest bedroom when he left as she moved furniture around to vacuum and shampoo the carpets, and it reminded him that he, too, would have a new addition to fuss over. He just did not know when. It was lucky for him that they did not live very far, and Aaron parked against the curb. He had an inkling of where they could go - a perfect place to vent their own respective frustrations - but had left it open-ended. Better not to lock in on something before moods could be taken into consideration.
Indeed, things had been going down at the Knight household: Ethiriel locked herself in her room and Gabe refused to speak with her after a few less than pleasant words were exchange, and the atmosphere in the house was very low all around. He was glad to exchange texts with Aaron and once plans were made, while a good portion of him worried over Ethiriel as she prepped herself for the next day's hike, the nurse was eager to get out and about, himself.
Aaron: -hops out of the car and makes his way up the sidewalk, wasting little time in rapping quickly on the door-
Henry: -much like Aaron, he didn't take much time to get to the door. meets his friend with an exhausted smile- "Hey, hey. Good to go?" -quickly shuts the door behind him and steps out onto the porch-
Aaron: "You bet." -tosses his keys lightly up and catches them in his palm- "Let's get going." -jogs down the steps to the car, looking in to make sure he left the door unlocked for Henry before rounding to his side-
Henry: -follows close behind but waits for Aaron to get to his side of the car before opening the door and climbing in- "Good to get out of the house without it involving work, huh?"
Aaron: -climbs in, nodding as he starts the car- "God, yeah. Work's been.. something." -shrugged a little, pulls out into the street, before looking at Henry out of the corner of his eye- "You look trashed, dude. Take it work's not been very kind to you either, huh?" -'among other things,' he thought-
Henry: -chuckles- "I feel ya." -leans back against his seat, head against headrest- "Mm. Something like that. Keeping the peace, yeah?"
Aaron: -there it was, the root of it - he was just gonna press on it a little bit, since Henry was the one who brought it up- "Oh? What's up?"
Henry: -smiles and scoffs silently, bringing a hand up to rub the bridge of his nose- "You know how Ethiriel had surgery, right?"
Aaron: -expression falls a little but keeps his eyes on the road- "Yeah?"
Henry: "Well..." -sighs, leaning against the car door with his elbow, temple resting on knuckles- "It failed; she can't see anymore. It hit her hard and she's said a few things to Gabe and now he won't talk to her." -closes his eyes- "She only talks to Cesc and it's only through brief texts."
Aaron: -hands grip the steering wheel a little tighter; this was grimmer news than he'd anticipated- "Jesus." -runs a hand through his hair nervously- "That's.. that's awful, man. I'm sorry to hear that." -frowns a little, pressing his lips together as he starts to rethink his plan - maybe a burger wasn't the only course of action for tonight- "Maybe I could see if Claire'll talk to her but.. that's pretty grim news."
Henry: "Yeah..." -grunts as he rubs his nose and eyes again- "Maybe that'd be good. Tomorrow she'll be going on a hike with Candice and the school kids, so I'm hoping that helps." -hums as he exhales through his nose- "BUT, this will pass. How's it going in your world, dude?"
Aaron: -nods- "That's good, here's hoping she has a good time. I'm sure they'll have fun." -freezes a bit when conversation turns to him, shrugs uncertainly- "It's, y'know, going okay. Claire's in baby mode and redoing the guest room right now, but we're still not sure when the Raevan will be coming home." -stops at a light, fingers tapping on the steering wheel, shifts in his seat uneasily- "Lots 'a things to consider in the meantime."
Henry: "At least she gets a chance to prepare. It was kind of sudden when I got the call from Ethiriel's previous owner." -smiles a bit easier but it's obvious he's still troubled by home matters- "Hopefully you don't have to wait too long. It's certainly an experience to have a Raevan."
Aaron: -now feeling a bit troubled himself with the thought of his soon-to-be Raevan and his own doubts but nods to Henry's offerings- -light turns green and he moves ahead- "Here's hoping. I know Claire's ready for it.." -thinks about tacking on that he's not, but decides not to, pressing his lips to keep the words held back-
Henry: "It'll be a good time, for sure. I know I can't wait to meet yours when they come around." -sing-song, despite his weary voice-
Aaron: -grins and laughs a little, but he cannot hide the small note of uneasiness in his voice and instead decides to change the subject- "WELL, tonight it's just gonna be us bros so I think we should do what all good bros do" -grin widens and looks at Henry in anticipation- "Batting cages."
Henry: -smile softens once Aaron changes the subject, but as soon as the cages were mention he lit up and turned to face him fully- "Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!"
Aaron: -grin is at full wattage as they drive down the main drag- "Thought you'd like that, you said you're into baseball, right? God, I haven't been since high school. Be kind to an old, out of shape man like me." -is now keeping a more active eye out for the turn off but laughs as he says that; the place is just on the edge of the main drag but not completely out of town, he'd driven by it enough times-
Henry: "Oh, I'll be easy on you, you old fart!" -chuckles, reaching over to gently punch Aaron in the arm- "Man, I feel like it's been forever since I held a bat..."
Aaron: -mock-dramatically rolls his eyes- "Well you're gonna have to back up those words pretty soon, I think this is the turn off." -indeed it was, and luckily not too crowded on a weekday night as they pulled into the small parking lot- "You ready to bring the heat, dude?" -grins again, all sass now - the game is on-
Henry: -laughs aloud this time, already much more at ease- "Oh, I'll back 'em up, alright!" -picks up on the sass and doubles it with a wide grin-
Aaron: "Good, wouldn't expect any less." -turns the car off and pockets his keys as he opens the door and climbs out- "Let's see.. where do we pay..." -squints into the small crowd of parents and kids, teenagers on their own-
Henry: "Over this way!" -said rather confidently, having been here several times before on his own free time- -led to the same crowd, just over to the side a little ways- "Too bad I don't get a school discount anymore." -chuckles-
Aaron: -laughs and follows with his hands in his pockets as they join the line- "Think we both aged out of that a long time ago, unfortunately." -glances around again, noticing that while it is not crazy busy, all of the cages are in use, and with the huge family group in front of them..- "Looks like we'll be splitting the cage. You cool with that?"
Henry: -laughing- "Sure have, fellow geezer." -peaks over a group of people to see the cages as well and nods- "That's no problem for me. I hope we're teamed with some kids!"
Aaron: -eyebrows rise at the second part of the statement and how Henry lit up at the idea of teaming with kids- "You really like kids, don't you?" -grins- "Makes sense if you work in pediatrics but y'never know."
Henry: "Yeah, I love kids. For the longest time, my dream has been to start a family." -makes a face at how mushy he was being, grinning- "Ethiriel's different than a child but I'm still blessed to have her around."
Aaron: -again is a little surprised but not unpleasantly so- "Hey man, that's nothing to be ashamed about. Wanting to start a family is great." -as they move up in line, his eyes crease as he elbows Henry- "Are you - planning - anything, mister? Should your girl Candice be on the lookout? Eh?"
Henry: -smiles warmly at Aaron's first comment, giving a subtle nod but ends up snorting- "Oh, well... I'd like to propose, first... but I've got that in the planning!" -winks at him with a lopsided grin-
Aaron: "Aw c'mon, you know that's what I meant." -nudges Henry's arm with a laugh- "I'm sure it'll go great." -glances up as they move forward a step again- "Exciting though. I was all thumbs when I proposed to Claire so, prepare to sweat a little."
Henry: -sneers playfully, rubbing his arm where he was nudged- "I dunno, man, would you wanna spend the rest of your life with this mug?" -points to his own face and makes an innocent expression-
Aaron: "Can't be any worse than mine, bro. If Claire said yes to this, you ain't got a thing to worry about." -laughs loudly as they finally get up to the booth to pay for time- "20 minutes sound good?"
Henry: "Are you joking? You're a doll!" -snorts again, taking a step backward to keep up- "20 sounds perfect; enough to get the energy out!"
Aaron: -smirks and waves his hand- "Pssh, oh stahp." -grins and turns to the booth, fishing out his wallet- "Hey, 2 for 20 minutes in the batting cages, please." -slides his debit card over-
The less than enthused cashier quietly took Aaron's card and ran it through the machine before handing it back with a dull 'have a good time.'
Henry: -leads Aaron over to the opening for the cages, then to where the bats were- "Man, I need to get back into the habit of this! Such a good upper body workout!"
Aaron: -tips his finger jauntily at the cashier and puts the card away as he follows Henry back- -examines the bats as he talks and then looks down at his accumulated pudginess, which was not as bad as it was before Thanksgiving but was still very present- "I should get back into the habit of working out period." -laughs a bit self-deprecatingly then picks up a wooden bat- "Anyway, lead on, you've got the first go, dude!"
Henry: -smirks and winks- "I can help you out with that." -takes one of the bats himself and walks over to one of the aisles where there was a small family with children- "Mind if we play here, too?"
Mother: -hesitantly smiles at them both but then nods-
Henry: "Thank you, kindly~" -said to both the mother and Aaron- -stands back as he watches the first kid get ready to hit, grin wide-
Aaron: -he too stands aside as the kid gets up to bat and leans over to whisper to Henry- "Poor kid looks like he'll topple over, that thing's too big for him." -crosses his arms thoughtfully-
Kid: -frowns as though he knows he picked a bat more fit for adults, and when the machine lets the pitch loose he swings.. and misses by a mile-
Aaron: -frown deepens- "Aw man." -as the kid's mother and family start clapping and the kid looks rather upset, Aaron claps too- "Nice try, you did your best --"
Henry: -after the kid seems disappointed, pushes himself away from leaning against the fence and looks to the mother- "May I?"
Mother: -gives another hesitant nod-
Henry: -walks up to the kid and kneels down, adjusting their arms and stance while softly explaining to them what to do. seems rather proud of himself as he backs away a little before the machine could spit out another one-
Kid: -nervously grips the bat after Henry steps away and looks at the machine as it fires off another one and he swings nervously, managing a hit - more of a bunt, but there was contact- "YEAH!" -pumps his little fists-
Aaron: "THAT'S how you do it, buddy!" -claps louder wit the rest of the family- "Good job!"
Kid: -looks proud but a little embarrassed too as he turns to Henry- "Hey, thanks..." -grins-
Henry: "WOOHOO!" -lays a hand downward for the kid to low-five, then gently pat his shoulder- "It's nothing, kid! I played baseball all the time in school -- could have gotten a bunch of grants from it!" -the last bit was said more to Aaron and the mother, and he gave a wink toward Aaron-
Kid: -grins and returns the low five enthusiastically before running back to his family- "Didja see that?"
Mother: -scoops him up in a hug- "You did wonderfully! I think that's definitely earned some pizza." -mock grimaces as all her children cheer in unison but stands up and starts to usher them out, giving Aaron and Henry an apologetic smile in return- "We're all done so we'll get out of your hair. But.. thank you." -smiles more genuinely at Henry as she and her kids usher out, the kid from before giving them a huge wave-
Aaron: "Don't eat too much pizza now!" -waves at the kid with a laugh, before lowering his slowly hand, expression waning a little and looking to Henry, jerking his thumb to the machine- "Almost got scholarships, huh? Let's see that skill in action, then. C'mon." -grins as he issues his challenge-
Henry: -smiles widely and waves to each of the kids and their mother happily, glad he was able to help- "It's no problem! Just make sure he keeps it up!" -keeps hand at shoulder level but stops waving now that he's distracted by Aaron and gives a smirk- "Oh, bring it on!" -chuckles and readies himself with knees bent and arms back, waiting for the machine to spit a ball out- -once it does, he swings his hardest and hits the ball dead in the center and sends it flying-
Aaron: -eyebrows lift and he whistles as soon as the ball goes flying- "Damn, alright. I can see why now." -laughs-
Henry: -gives Aaron a goofy one sided grin- "I don't normally toot my own horn~" -quickly sets up for a second ball, hitting this one at a curve as soon as it landed so it didn't go as far- "--but we can't all be winners." -chuckles and hands the bat to Aaron- "Show me how it's done, you old fart!"
Aaron: -narrows his eyes mockingly and holds his chin up in the air- "Excuse me, grandpa, but you're older than me. BUT if you insist on being schooled, prepare to be schooled." -readies his posture and sets up the next ball - he only manages to bunt it a little and it flies off to the left, but he still hit it- - frowns- "Hm. A little close for comfort. But i haven't played in almost fifteen years so what d'you expect." -laughs and runs a hand through his hair, stepping to the side for Henry to take another swing- "School me, o baseball guru."
Henry: -laughs- "Well, you said you were the old one, earlier!" -takes the bat with some flare, exaggerating his movements as he went to hit the next one- "I take the title proudly!" -this time, being a fart knocker, hits the ball with just enough force for it to bounce off of the bat, holding it in place, then drops the bat pretending that there was shock from the hit-
Aaron: -snorts as he watches the display- "Oh now you're just rubbing it in." -laughs, covering a face with one hand, shaking his head- "Show off!"
Henry: -again, gives his hammiest smile- "Only for you!" -picks the bat up and rears back again, hitting this one for real, though it still didn't have as much unf as the first one had-
Aaron: -leans against the wall, arms crossed, as he watches Henry's next hit, and doesn't say anything right away and rather than move forward to take another turn, he stands aside so Henry can have another go while he muses on the family that was with them just a few minutes prior- "Y'know, you're pretty good with kids. They must love you at work."
Henry: -had just hit the next one coming as Aaron spoke, turning to face him in confusing for a second before a warm smile spread across his face- "That's what I like to hear. It's always been a goal of mine to be good to others, especially kids." -scoffs playfully- "Hopefully I can keep it up when I have kids of my own."
Aaron: -grins- "I'm sure you'll be great, dude. I'm sure kids of your own'll be a handful but if what I saw there is an example, you'll be just fine." -thumbs over to the door as he mentions the family, and then sidles up to take the next swing, his pose a little deflated as he thinks about things a little more - he swings and misses the ball, arms drooping to his side as he scratches the back of his head with a quiet laugh- "Ah well, next one then."
Henry: "Thanks, man." -hands off the bat and leans against the fence- -notices the change in Aaron's stance and raised his brows- "You okay?"
Aaron: "Huh?" -glances over in confusion and smiles automatically- "Yeah, it's fine." -flashes Henry a weak thumbs up as he looks towards the machine and runs a hand through his hair-
Henry: -quirks a brow and sighs, keeping his eyes on the back of Aaron's head- "I know we haven't known each other long, but you should know by now that, that doesn't go over my head--"
Aaron: -glances back, the hand still in his hair, and sighs- "Yeah, just a lot going on I guess.. sorry to be a downer, I mean you've got worse going on in your house and here's my sorry a**." -laughs a little self consciously and lines up for another hit to avoid talking about it for a minute, this time knocking it straight back, but he lowers the bat, not looking as pleased as he should have-
Henry: -doesn't move from leaning against the fence, his arms crossed and his legs at the knee- "Comparing hurt doesn't do anyone any good, Aaron." -pushes himself away finally, pushing a button on the wall to stop the machine for a moment- "What's got you bothered?"
Aaron: -looks back at Henry half helplessly; he did not expect this to rear its head as much as it did but the family earlier and Henry's desire for children of his own got him to thinking about his own anxieties- "It's.." -sighs and lowers his hand from his hair finally- "The whole Lab thing's been a mess. My parents have been up my a** at about it lately and not in anticipation, let me tell you." -huffs a quiet laugh- "We want to do this, me and Claire, but.. I don't really know what I'm doing? Like at all? Especially about this. I'm way out of my element here." -laughs once again but this one sounded more anxious- "Thought I was ready to be a dad and here we are." -shrugs-
Henry: -hums in thought, listening carefully as Aaron let out, walking toward him and gently placing a hand on his shoulder- "Listen, I won't lie, this stuff's hard. Taking care of another being isn't easy." -leads Aaron over to the wall so they both could lean if so desired- "You've actually got it easy. Babies can't tell you what they want or need, but you're being given a life that is already aware. Like I said, it ain't easy, but--" -gives him a firm but gentle pat where his hand rested- "You're gonna do fine."
Aaron: -follows Henry's lead over to the wall and does take the invitation to lean against it, regarding him carefully as he talks and nods slowly, eyes to the ground- "Yeah, guess that's true." -laughs as Henry pats his shoulder- "Maybe I'm overthinking it. Claire's treating it like a baby coming and I'm going through the same s**t I did before, getting all worked up. My parents aren't helping there but.. I gotta deal." -smiles, tentatively, at Henry- "Sorry to kill the mood, bro, but thanks for letting me sound off. I think I needed that." -and indeed, he felt a little better for it - not fully, but it was a step in the right direction-
Henry: -waits patiently for him to finish before responding, his own smile remaining sympathetically- "You'll do great, I know it. If you ever need any help, you know I've got your back."
Aaron: -a grin breaks through and he returns Henry's pat with a soft one to his shoulder- "Same here, dude. Same here. And..." -the mood shifted again as his smile dampened- "I know you've got a lot going on with Ethiriel and all but.. give us a shout if you need anything, okay? Claire's been worried about her too."
Henry: -smile morphs into a grin once Aaron does, nodding animatedly- "Can do, man. Let her know what's going on but that we're hopfully in the direction of improvement."
Aaron: "Good to know. Besides, she said she has something that Eth might have forgotten about.. not sure what that was." -scratches his head and shrugs- "But we'll see, hopefully when the dust settles for everyone. Maybe by that point we'll be bringing someone else over next time." -his grin returns, a little more steady this time even with the mention of his upcoming Raevan, and he picks up the bat again, slinging it over his shoulder- "Now how about we try this challenge again, mano y mano?"
Henry: "Hm, I wonder what it could be--" -wonders this aloud, then nods- "I can't wait to meet 'em when they come!" -teasingly backs up and puts his hands up between them as if he's scared- "R'you gonna teach me a lesson, you geezer?"
Aaron: "You bet. Step aside and let an Former Little Leaguer show you how it's done." -grins and step back up to bat, all swagger - his problems stowed away for now-
alpha lyrae
Friendly Conversationalist
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alpha lyrae
Friendly Conversationalist
Offline
Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 10:02 pm
Thanks For Being A Friendly Face March 2, 2016
Advisory
WARNING:The following journal entry features characters using discriminatory slurs; they in no way reflect the thoughts or opinions of the writer and are not meant to be viewed positively.
It was close to 11 PM when Aaron's phone vibrated on the coffee table.
If he had not been up already burning the late night oil to finish up the finance reports that his father had so graciously left for him to do, he might have missed it, as he usually kept his cell on silent during the night. However, the phone persistently buzzed - a phone call. He rubbed his bleary eyes with the heel of a hand and reached for it, flipping it over from its downturned position and raised both eyebrows at the caller on the ID. Immediately he lowered the rubbing hand in surprise and tapped the screen, bringing it to his ear. Claire had been reading in one of the arm chairs, legs curled up beneath her, and she glanced up briefly from her novel.
"Hello?" The other end was not much else but noise pollution, tinned shouting and music and he had to listen hard for a reply.
"Hey!" Cadi's voice was quiet compared to the background noise, despite the note of false cheeriness.
"Cadi? Hey.. everything okay?" At the name, Claire's gaze shot up again, concern etched clearly in the lines of her face. It was unusual for Cadi to call.. well, at all; she was a habitual texter. There was not an immediate reply and Aaron would have thought that the call had dropped entirely had the background noise not carried on. Still, though, he put the phone on speaker for Claire's benefit and asked again, a little louder, "Cadi?"
"Uhm." Her voice betrayed her uncertainty. "'Ve got a bit of a problem." He concentrated hard on her words, catching the slurring between them and the unsteadiness - he and Claire exchanged a look of worry. "Lost my keys.. I dunno what to do." She laughed, a hiccup of a noise, and her voice felt on the verge of something else when she brushed past it, continuing on, "Dunno what to do, bro." Aaron shifted on the couch to stand and Claire had set her book to the side, padding quietly to the coat closet in the hall.
"Hey, no sweat, we'll come get you." He recognized this all too well. It was but a moment as he followed Claire into the hallway, taking the accepted coat from her outreached hands. Something else was bothering him, however, a niggling doubt at the back of his mind. "Where are your friends?"
"Friends?" He frowned deeply, eyebrows drawn low in concern, at the answer he did not want to hear.
"Nevermind. Where are you at?" Claire was buttoning up her coat while he struggled into his shoes at the entryway. Again, noise pollution was his answer. "Cadi!"
"Sorry, 'm at..." There was a muffled noise at the other end, as though she had gently pressed her hand over the receiver, and Aaron thought he had heard her ask somebody for the name. "It's Louie's.. we're at Louie's place.. his party.. shindig."
"You're at a house party?" Claire cut in this time, incredulous, her worry increasing tenfold judging by the look on her face but Aaron raised a hand and softly shook his head.
"No, I know where Louie's is. Hang tight, we're on the way. Don't go anywhere, I'll text you when we're out front."
"'Kay." There was another beat of a pause, not as long as the prior, when she tacked on a mumbled, "'M sorry."
"Don't worry about it, see you in a few minutes." He hung up the phone and dropped it into his pocket by the time that Claire held the car keys out to him, and neither of them wasted much time getting out to the car. Once they were both buckled in and driving down the street did they resume conversation, Claire's hands wringing together in her lap. Aaron's hands gripped the steering wheel firmly. "I can't believe she went out alone, what the hell was she thinking?"
"She went drinking by herself?" Claire's eyebrows shot up and she looked at Aaron in surprise.
"That's the only thing I could assume, I mean.. she's said before she doesn't know anybody here.." His concern for the younger girl only seemed to compound the more he found out about her, which did little to assuage the guilt that lingered on the edge of his consciousness as of late. The face of Sadie Purcell smiled nervously from his memories before it faded into the ether, and he drove somewhat faster down the empty streets towards the main Gambino strip.
"Jesus." Claire put a hand to her mouth, and a slow sigh escaped her lips. A few moments of silence elapsed while Aaron drove before she asked, "So where is Louie's?"
"It's off the main strip, not far from Mickie's Drive In." He glanced into the rearview mirror as he saw another car join them and slowed his speed in case it was the police; he was not cruising too fast but he did not want to take any chances. The strip looked desolate at this time of year with the colder fronts sweeping in from the ocean, nights chilled and inhospitable, and he was thankful for that. They passed Steven's Pharmacy and several restaurants with darkened windows, except for a small retro-looking diner that touted a "open 24 hours" sign and was filled with a small cluster of people (likely those seeking food after an evening out at the bars). A few of the bars and clubs still looked pretty packed, neon lights shining brightly in the evening fog, and Aaron found the sight he was looking for - a dingy hole-in-the-wall joint with a bright neon sign that said "Louie's". This was quite a far jaunt from Cadi's apartment and while he knew she liked to walk, this was much too far for her to make it back in her state. He only hoped she had not opted to drive tonight. As he circled around for a parking spot, he fished his phone out of his pocket and passed it to Claire. "Text her and let her know we're here." His phone beeped and chimed while she did so, and at last a taxi that had been waiting out front departed and he slid easily into the spot. He leaned over the steering wheel anxiously, scanning the entrance and those milling about for her face; a minute passed before she finally left, ducking around a couple chatting together by the front door, arms pulled tightly around herself as she walked towards them when Claire leaned out the window and waved. Aaron would not have thought she was drunk had he not seen her walk, and he was surprised she did not topple forward; the tired set of her eyes was very noticeable the closer she got, and she fumbled with numb fingers to open the door and plopped inside wordlessly. Aaron glanced back uncertainly as the car door closed and adapted what he hoped was an assuring smile.
"Hey, kid, let's get you home." He redirected his gaze to the side mirror to check oncoming traffic. "Did you drive?"
"Mmnno," she mumbled. Her arms were still wrapped around herself and she seemed to curl further into her coat like a turtle. "Lost m' keys." Her slurring was much more noticeable when she was not forcing a tone of happiness.
"That's okay." Claire broke in and turned in her seat, placing a soothing hand on Cadi's knee. "You can stay at our house tonight. We'll help you look tomorrow." Cadi did little to acknowledge the touch other than stare blearily at the hand until Claire retracted it, but she nodded softly after a moment.
"Sorry." Her red eyes bore a hole into the back of the passenger's side seat, determined not to look at either of them.
"Let's head home," Aaron announced with a note of his own false bravado, and he steered them back onto the main drag. The car ride was heavy and silent, and whenever he checked his rear-view, Cadi had not shifted one bit from her half-curled position, arms locked protectively around herself. The streets were still quiet and mostly empty, but the fog had rolled in and Aaron drove a little more carefully, avoiding well-known bumps in the familiar stretch of road so as not to upset Cadi's stomach. His own mind was roiling with questions, chief of which was why his young sister-by-marriage had decided to do this. Was it a want of friends or company? Aaron had been no stranger to such things when he was her age, attending quite a few college parties and getting drunk at most of them, but that novelty had worn off quickly once he got into the meat of his studies and other, more pleasant distractions led him away from that. He settled in with a few college buddies, he and Claire reunited, and outside of the occasional drink there was no real reason to seek the atmosphere of those loud, raucous parties. Aaron never had much problem finding a niche, but Cadi was very different from him, and it had not been clearer before than it had been tonight, as she curled into herself in the back seat.
At last, the ride was over and he pulled up outside their house. Claire made quick work of her seatbelt and was by the side door to aid Cadi out of the car, and Aaron walked behind them. There was a moment where Cadi clipped the stair on the front porch and she reeled forward, and he leapt forward to steady her, but Claire had caught her just in time and she righted herself while Aaron unlocked the front door. It was a struggle to get her out of her peacoat and shoes and they helped her into the living room, easing her onto the couch. She had lowered her arms from around herself in her stumble outside, but as she sank to the couch, she rested her elbows on her knees and cradled her face in her hands. Aaron sat down next to her and Claire wrung her hands anxiously, both of whom were still dressed in their shoes and coat.
"Let me get you some water, honey," Claire replied. Cadi made a small noise in the back of her throat and Claire disappeared towards the bathroom, clearly intending to bring her some Tylenol as well to ease the onslaught the younger girl could expect come tomorrow morning. Aaron raised a hand and placed it reassuringly on Cadi's back, but as soon as it settled there, she scooted quietly away, and he immediately pulled it back, resting them between his knees. The silence was oppressive and he swallowed nervously - he had dealt with drunk people before but never like this. What could he say to her? He had so many questions but they all had fled between the bar and his front door. He heard her take a shaky breath from behind her palms and exhale slowly.
"'M sorry," she mumbled into her hands, breaking the silence that hung between them.
"Don't be," he replied quietly, but she shook her head rapidly, wincing at the sudden movement. He noticed how messy her hair was, the curls a little matted and unkempt - this was not like the Cadi he knew. But he was realizing that he did not know her as well as he thought at all, and the realization grew more strongly each time they spent company together.
"I ******** up." The words sounded dead and empty, a blatant admittance of a fact she felt to be true. Her shoulders hunched and shook, and he replaced his hand on her back. She flinched away more forcefully and he pulled back as though his hand had been burned. He did not understand. Aaron swallowed nervously, linking his fingers together in his lap and turned to face her more fully as he spoke.
"Everyone ******** up, it's okay." He knew that he had done more than enough of that for several lifetimes, but for most of those mistakes, time had given him peace for them.
Most of them.
"I always ******** up." She sounded more distorted now, shaky, and she sniffed quietly. "'M sorry to bother you." She groaned, and then tacked on even more quietly, "I bother everyone."
"You don't," Aaron insisted a little fretfully, and Cadi inhaled a deep breath, fingers clutching her head as she kept her face hidden. With a start, he noticed a few droplets of water leaking between them and coursing down her wrists.. and then he noticed something even more troubling, and ice dropped into the pit of his stomach. Several long, pale scars traced their way down the underside of her arms.
He didn't really know Cadi. He didn't know her at all.
"I just keep ********' up." She huffed a trembling laugh. Aaron struggled for something to say but he kept looking at her arms and his throat would close up. What could he say to her?
"That's not.." He started. Saying something had to be better than saying nothing at all. How? "I mean.." But he could find nothing to say and sat next to her awkwardly while she cried quietly into her shaking hands. Aaron had not felt this far away from a human being in a while - no, that was not true. It reminded him strongly of the talk he and Claire had had in the parking garage. He had distanced himself from Claire's problems in such a way that he did not think of them as "their problems," and that had been the problem in itself. Cadi had been friendly, amusing, a rare face at family events and moreso frequently, but the more time she spent in the company of him and his wife, the more he realized that she had done the same as he had, except she had likely been doing it for much longer. He had to will his eyes away from her, lest he look at the reminders of her pain. Why? Helplessness was such a foreign feeling to him and it startled him every time it was thrust upon him. He thought of Sadie Purcell again as Cadi sobbed.
How could he ever be a parent like this?
"Come on, sweetpea, let's get you hydrated." Claire had reappeared, a tall glass of water and a couple of Tylenol tablets in hand. She knelt down next to Cadi's knees, and the girl finally raised her face from her hands. Her eyes were red and runny, the crescent indents of her thumbnails visible along her scalp. She frowned tiredly and wiped her hands hastily on her jeans before taking the glass.
"Sorry," she apologized again, but Claire just nodded.
"It's alright," she assured gently. "Take these, and drink up. Otherwise you're going to feel it tomorrow." Cadi nodded numbly and took the proffered Tylenol, drinking in silence. Aaron could hear his heart hammering in his ears, and he felt his stomach lurch as he was left alone with his thoughts in the resounding quiet. Once Cadi had drained the glass, Claire stood up and set it on the table on one of the coasters. "Come on, let's get you to bed." She did not reach for Cadi but instead held out a hand for her - to take or to leave, at her discretion. Aaron clenched his fingers together and rested his chin against them - why had he assumed she wanted to be touched? Why did he not give her a choice?
Cadi stood on shaky legs and gingerly took Claire's offered hand, closing her fingers lightly around it. Claire guided her slowly around the table and towards the hall, heading for the guest bedroom, and Aaron caught another whispered, "sorry" from Cadi before they vanished around the corner. He watched them go with an aching chest and wished he had not noticed what he did. So many questions and none he could ask, none he felt he had the right to ask, and his brain stubbornly showed him the face that had been haunting him all night.
Sadie Purcell.
He and Sadie had gone to elementary school together. The two of them shared homeroom and had interacted in the way that he had with most of his classmates, without running in the same circles. She was always a somewhat quiet girl on her own, but a bit of a know-it-all when it came to anything classwork related. Her grades were among the top of their class and it was a position she held onto proudly. She scolded him once when he had tried to copy her spelling test but she did not run immediately to the teacher, and for that he was grateful.
But time passed and he was settled in at his much larger high school. Here, it was harder to keep track of the ever-changing roster of faces but he had not expected to see Sadie's among the crowd in his sophomore year Earth Science class. Nervousness grew within him as it had when Lawrence Yew had remembered him from the same school, but that light had died as soon as he joined his friends in pushing him down. They did not have the benefit of shared classes; in science, he was trapped with Sadie. Unlike Lawrence, she had not acknowledged that they once went to school together but she did end up in a lot of his study groups that included him and his buddy Ricky. She continued to lead the pack academically, quietly directing the project, while he and Ricky bummed around and made jokes. However she would just purse her lips and tell them, "c'mon", with a glance to Aaron before she would get back to work. Aaron did not think about it much at the time, but upon retrospect he wondered if she was looking for comfort in a familiar face in the wake of starting at a large, intimidating new school. They were not particularly friendly but he did not go out of his way like he had with Lawrence to stop that; most of his friends were not here. He and Sadie were not friends and she was not overstepping her bounds, other than appearing in most of his groups come project time. Other than a slight smile she'd give him sometimes, there had been no indication at all that they had known each other.
Ricky, unfortunately, was much more perceptive than he thought, and soon enough the rest of his friends knew about Sadie Purcell.
"She's got a huge ********' crush on you, man, always staring at you and s**t." Ricky egged him on while they sat on the stage in the auditorium, killing time during the lunch hour. Aaron frowned and shoved him, which earned him a laugh from the wiry-framed blond boy.
"Shut up," he retorted with a diffusing laugh, but he could not will the color out of his cheeks, which only encouraged Ricky to continue.
"I've seen her. Making big-a** cow eyes at you from across the room." He grinned and leaned forward close to his ear and dancing just out of reach when Aaron reached back to smack him from his seat on the edge of the stage. "She wants you to be her boyfriennnnd, she wants to make out with youuuuu -"
"Shut the ******** up, dude!" Another automatic laugh came to him, his usual self-defense, which coaxed one from the rest of his buddies, and the color held in his face. He maintained his smile, surprisingly naturally; on the inside, his heart was racing circles in his chest and he felt like screaming.
"Feel her fat a** up, come onnnn, you'll be so cute together," Ricky mocked as he delivered another playful shove to his shoulders in retaliation for earlier, "I ********' dare you."
"Aaron's a p***y, he won't do it," Peter Donahue added, arms crossed, eyes narrowed in challenge. Aaron's heart was racing so hard that he thought he might drop dead.
"Oh man, do it, it'll be funny as s**t," Evan Foster chimed in with a laugh, and the auditorium rung with their mockery. Aaron felt a cold sweat starting to break out and he frowned in defiance back at his friends.
"I'm not a p***y," he grumbled.
"Prove it," Levi Truesdale grinned, and Aaron shot back with a defiant, "Fine!"
"Ohhh s**t, Aaron's gonna do it," Tommy Marlowe added, clapping his hands together.
Their raucous encouragement set into motion Aaron's flustered, false "pursuit" of Sadie Purcell to save his own skin. Under Ricky's critical, jeering eye, he returned Sadie's smile whenever she flashed one at him, and she would busy herself with the assignments as her cheeks went rosy. He sought her company in the hallway under the guise of talking about their homework assignments, lingering at her locker and leaning against it casually, pretending to be more engrossed than he was. She blushed in his company and touched her hair a lot, and it only increased his shame at what he was willfully doing. Her hopeful gaze whenever they locked eyes across the crowded hallway heightened his own self-consciousness as his friends laughed the moment she disappeared from sight.
Sadie took things into her own hands come the week before Christmas break. He had always figured her to be a meek girl, who kept the company of a few friends (quite a menagerie at that, with a scattering of theater kids and scene kids and a few of the foreign exchange students), and whose prowess only fully showed in the many articles she penned for the school newspaper and how often her name was mentioned in context to some academic award. And truthfully, he was almost astounded as she marched up to him and his friends on the bleachers during lunch break in the packed gymnasium.
"Can I talk to you?" His friends did not even hold back their laughter, and both of them blushed self-consciously, although she turned the redder of the two. He followed her around the bleachers and underneath, and without waiting for him to reply, she offered a small bundle of sugar cookies out to him. It was done up in festive saran wrap with curli-cued ribbon and a small card attached. "I just wanted to give this to you. Don't -" she paused as her face went redder, "- don't think much of it. I just.. thanks for being nice to me. You don't have to eat them but.. oh geez." She tucked her hair behind her ear, and Aaron felt like his heart was crumbling into dust and flying away under the weight of the truth. He could feel his friends watching them as they peeked through the bleachers, not even trying to hide their laughter. She seemed to become aware of them at the same moment he did, and he barely had a chance to reply with a false "thank you" before she ran away, her trembling fingers balled into fists at her side, but she walked with purpose.
Aaron was almost jealous of that; it must have taken guts to do it. He did not have anything like that.
It became truer later that day when his friends cornered Sadie Purcell before P.E. as she went into the locker area and harassed her about what she had done. He was not there, (he and Evan had an earlier P.E. period) but he heard a very colorful retelling about the rest of their exploits, punctuated by laughter. The insults they had slung at her in private they brought to her attention, and she has quelled against their assault and tried to escape into the girl's locker room, only for Peter to block her way until "she knew exactly what they thought" of girls like her. To her credit she did not cry - she saved that for later, when the bell had rung. He and his friends rounded the school building, heading for buses or waiting parents, when he saw her and her best friend Linda Rodriguez sitting on the steps outside the gym a short distance away from them. Sadie cried into her legs while Linda kept a supporting arm around her shoulder, and Ricky decided to call out, "what's wrong, fat a**?" which earned a laugh from the rest of their crew, save Aaron, who continued to feel sick and kept to the back of the group. <******** off!" Linda shouted, eyes dangerously narrowed as Sadie lifted her face from her knees.
"You first, freaks," Evan added, and he and Ricky grinned at each other, so proud of themselves, as the group kept walking; Aaron knew they would have stayed, had an impatient blaring of the horn from Tommy's mother not ushered them on. Aaron did not linger either but he did keep to the back, and once the guys were distracted enough, chortling to each other and slinging a few more back-and-forth insults to the girls on the steps, he looked at Sadie and her friend and did the only thing he dared to do while in the schoolyard jungle. Her face was red and awash in tears, brown bangs damp and matted around her forehead, but she looked at him with a pleading look that asked him to step in, to do anything to make them stop.
Aaron gave her an apologetic smile, and even from that distance, he saw the hope die in her eyes. Her face scrunched as she tried (and failed) to keep a few more tears from leaking out, but her expression settled into one of resigned disappointment, eyebrows set as she turned away from them and she and Linda went back into the gym. Once he was in the safety of his home, he unearthed the cookies from his backpack; he had shoved them haphazardly in and a fair few of them were crushed into crumbs, but he ate the couple that were still whole, despite the sickness in the pit of his stomach. They were very good; he could not tell if they were homemade or store-bought, but the fact that she had put time into making these and setting some aside for him was very nice. He thumbed the small card attached to the saran wrap and opened it, and his guilt renewed at the words written in green pen: "Thanks for being a friendly face."
He thought of her crying again, and had to swallow against a resurgence of nausea.
Aaron did not forget that for a long time, and his friends made sure Sadie didn't either. At hang-outs that winter, they tried to prank call her (she hung up every time, until one time her mother answered and angrily chewed them out), harassed her whenever they spotted her alone. A short way into the third quarter, she switched into a different Earth Science period and avoided crowded areas during break and lunch time. His friends got bored when she dropped off their radar, other than her name topping articles in the school paper and various announcements about her academic achievements, but there was nothing else to fuel their vitriol there. Aaron himself did not really see her again until graduation, where she once again strode with purpose across the stage to receive her diploma, and that was the last he saw of her. She did not make an appearance at their ten-year reunion, or so he had heard.
Where was Sadie now? What if she was like Cadi? He scrambled his memory for any signs in her behavior that mirrored that of the girl in the guest bedroom, anything that could point to possible depression, but he came up empty-handed. He had not known Sadie Purcell very well - if at all, and all his mind dredged up was the image of her nervous smile and then the one that came at the end, her face crumbled in shock and sadness before it washed over with stony resignation.
Had people like he and his friends hurt Cadi? Other girls, perhaps? He could not remember seeing Sadie's name come up on the recommended friends list whenever he browsed Facebook, and that caused his pulse to quicken. The more logical explanation was that she might not be on Facebook at all; many people were not, after all. For the life of him, he could not get Cadi's scars out of his head and the creeping dread that it brought him when he thought of both her and Sadie. Aaron felt nauseous and leaned over to ease it. He wished he could forget.
'I really am an a*****e,' he thought, and swallowed against a wave of familiar nausea. The sound of footfalls drew his attention and Claire re-entered the room, looking drawn. "Hey." She smiled weakly and padded over from the hallway. "She asleep?"
"She's getting there." Claire eased herself onto the couch with a sigh. "I left the garbage can close by just in case." Her eyes were on the coffee table before they met his, and her brow creased in worry. "What's wrong?" A pinprick of nerves danced down his scalp at her perception and he scrambled for the words, but there was so much and so little to say that he was at a loss.
"Did you.." He swallowed, and instead, with hesitance, he rubbed his wrist. The mime felt weird, invasive, as though they should not be discussing it.
"Yeah." Claire's agreement was news to him, and she kept her gaze to the floor, tucking a piece of blonde hair behind her ear. "When I put her to bed." Aaron lowered his hands to his lap and linked them, and squeezed them together so that the knuckles went pale. A storm rolled in his chest.
"Should we.. do something?" Was he looking for forgiveness from Cadi for what he had done to a girl she did not even know? Did all of this set into motion that desire only because he wanted to be free of his guilt? Did he really care, or was this all for him? He felt sick when he automatically answered "yes" to himself. Of course he wanted to be free of this guilt.. but did that mean that he did not care about Cadi herself? What did he really want? Aaron was not very sure anymore.
"It's.. not our business to ask." She said the words with some difficulty, pausing to think and rest her hand atop his before she continued. "I want to. I wish I knew and maybe someday she'll tell us. But that's her decision." Aaron nodded reactively but inside he felt numb. He did not know his own feelings anymore; to have gone from being so assured about most everything in his life to this, and he was left uncertain and shaky.
Aaron did not deserve to be a parent; not after all he had done.
It had been a busy morning following the late night that had preceded it. Claire and Aaron were habitually early risers but given the situation with Cadi, the girl had taken a little more coaxing to get going (as well as a strong dark cup of coffee). With her insistence, they did not backtrack to Louie's to inquire after her keys; she said she had kept them busy long enough and that she would handle it from there, but Claire did volunteer to call the apartment manager before she could protest. They did not have to wait long outside of the complex for him, and he arrived just short of ten in the morning with the set of master keys. The clinking caused Cadi to wince but the door opened just the same, and as she said goodbye to the manager and Claire and Aaron stepped forward to make sure everything would be okay, three sets of eyes fell on the keys sitting on her coffee table.
"Oh my god," she groaned, burying her tired face in her hands. "Please, just leave me here to die in my embarrassment." Aaron laughed gently and placed a hand on her back. Unlike yesterday, she did not wince away from the contact.
"Don't worry, happens to the best of us." The three of them exchanged farewells (Claire sternly telling Cadi to text them later to let them know how she was feeling) and the couple had set off towards the front curb when Claire's cell jingled. Eyebrows scrunched in confusion, she balanced her purse on her knee and fished it out, eyelids opening wide despite the little sleep they had had. Aaron mirrored her surprise. "Who is it?"
"Zeke," she replied, with a flutter in her chest. "From the Lab." The two had been receiving a few teasing text messages since she had last left the bottle, and it had been more like him to text that news rather than call - the flutter bloomed into a racing pulse as she scrambled to answer. "Hello? Zeke?" The man on the other end seemed fit to burst with excitement.
"He's here Claire! Really! He's here and he's waiting for you!" The phone nearly tumbled from Claire's shocked hands and she had to maneuver quickly to steady herself. The voice carried enough for Aaron to hear, and his face was awash in surprise.
"Oh my god -- oh my god." Her mind scrambled for words, words enough to convey everything she was feeling right then - he was here, the leshy was here, actually here. "I -- we're on our way! We'll be right over!"
"But of course, the sooner the better!!!" She barely had time to mutter a "thank you" before they said their goodbyes and Claire dropped the phone back into her purse, hands trembling. He was here. But there was still so much she had yet to do - she was prepared and yet she wasn't, and she looked to her husband with panic written on her features.
"We haven't picked a name yet," she gasped, eyes wide, "And his room isn't fully decorated yet. What will he wear? Should we call Ma?" Her hand reached up to clutch at her bangs. "We have to go. I'll drive. Where are the keys?" Aaron was all thumbs as he searched his pockets and dropped them in his wife's outstretched hands, and she was jogging the rest of the way down the sidewalk. His own heart was keeping rapid time in his chest and all of his fears seemed to be coming to head much too quickly. He wasn't ready either but here he was, and their Raevan was here.
---
The room was bright. He liked that.
What he did not like was how empty everything felt, and cold, and trapping. There were few items adorning the room he was in but he could not get past the nervous pitter-pattering of his own heart. He had been placed in this room by.. by someone, or something? .. and left to keep company with silence and chill. His tiny hands pulled the hood more firmly around his face. He did not like being stuck here, he decided, and he moved towards where he had come in. Fingers around the door knob, he jiggled it experimentally.. to no avail. Next he tried turning it; it clicked and would not move.
His breath hitched and his pulse heightened. He needed to get out. He did not like this, not one bit.
Head turning to and fro, he spotted a set of shining tools left in the room on a tray. They were placed up just out of reach of clumsy hands, and he frowned as his fingertips only grazed the top. He could get up there, he could, but it was so high. His frown deepened and he eyed the floor (so as not to go too far, it was awfully high) as he slowly hovered upward, hand still outstretched -
His fingers caught on the handle of the tray and in his surprise, the Frei jerked it away, sending the tools and tray loudly clattering to the floor. He cried out in shock and pressed himself against the wall, both hands clasped together against his heaving chest. The sound of footfalls in the hall echoed into the room and the door opened quite suddenly, jolting the tiny Raevan's attention to the tall man standing in the doorway - was he the one who put him here? The man spoke words that he did not quite understand, but there was concern on his face; the small Raevan was still scared, his heart threatening to run from his chest given leave to, but he had opened the door, and he looked so shocked, so worried, that he hovered closer to the newcomer. He hoped he had not upset him by dropping the tray.
He hiccuped, a soft sound, and tears rolled down his cheeks as he started to cry, clinging to the man's sleeve. He did not like being by himself.
Lorin clung fast to Aaron as he carried him to the car, Claire opening the door. There was a warmth that eminated from his Papa that tingled gently in the Frei's fingertips, evident in his smile, but it also left the small Raevan feeling a little tired, sluggish. He held onto Aaron a little tighter when the man leaned into the car and set him in the backseat, leaning over to buckle him in. He tightened the belt snugly over Lorin (which gave him some issues, considering there was no lower body to secure), and as he and Claire bantered back and forth about the eventual need for a carseat, he pulled out of the car with a hesitant pat to the honey Frei's head. The door shut, and Lorin cried out in alarm as he struggled against his bonds; were they leaving him? What was happening? Why was he trapped again, just like in the Awful Room?
Claire sensed his distress first and climbed into the front seat hurriedly, immediately turning to take his hand as his breathing escalated.
"Lorin honey, it's okay, it's okay.. shhh." She stroked his small hand and he squeezed hers in desperation. Her returned presence was a balm to him and he nestled into his scarf with a small whine. Aaron took another moment longer to get into the car but his concern was written clearly on his face. "Do you mind holding his hand while I start the car, Aaron? First car ride might be a little stressful for him." Lorin lifted his head from the folds of his scarf to regard his Papa, taking note of the worry in his eyes but also the same note that had been there since they had first met just a short while ago. For his part, Aaron tried to be chipper and he took Lorin's other hand in his while Claire let go and turned the ignition. The car hummed to life so suddenly and Lorin jumped in alarm, holding onto Aaron's hand for dear life. The man frowned slightly, ever doubtful of his comforting abilities, but he gave the Frei's hand a squeeze.
"You're okay, don't worry," he said, somewhat stiffly, his mouth open to speak again.. but nothing. Aaron did not know what to say to comfort the trembling, nervous Frei. His son. Was he, though? Instead, he changed tack. "What d'you say, kiddo, wanna get some food?" Lorin's eyes met his.
The Frei softly shook his head no.
"No?" Claire frowned with a glance back in the rearview mirror. "You're not hungry?" She looked to Aaron in concern, but he merely shrugged, just as confused as she was.
"Home," was all Lorin said, gaze locked on Aaron. The corners of Claire's eyes creased in worry, and she moved a hand through her hair.
"It has been a big day.. maybe I can borrow some honey from Ma, she has some from the farmer's market. I can go to the store tomorrow." Already, the wheels were turning in Claire's head as to why he had not wanted to go. Today had been very momentous but also very busy for all parties involved, and the crowds of strangers at the grocery store might be too much for him on his first day of life. Perhaps some relaxation should be the first order of business. Lorin, for his part, squeezed Aaron's hand again, leaning back into the seat as he adjusted to the rolling vibration of the car and sensing from his parental figures that it was not a source of danger - at least for now. He watched the man in the front seat attentively, waiting.
The way Lorin stared at him made Aaron feel uneasy, as though he knew about his inner doubts, and Aaron turned around abruptly, busying himself with gazing out the window. Lorin frowned softly from the backseat and tilted his head at his Papa's sudden avoidance. The man who had held him so carefully in his arms, smiled at him, showed him the delightful creature in the bushes that made such a funny noise, made the empty feeling in his rune vanish.. had he done something wrong? He put a hand to his torso, just above where the hem of his shirt was and right over the seatbelt, and stared at the softly glowing rune, no longer dimming from that strange emptiness inside but pulsing gently. He felt overly full, sated but exhausted; what about Papa?
Lorin was puzzled; his rune beat out a satisfied pulse of light.
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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 12:57 am
Plans Laid, Promises Made March 5, 2016
The first day after Lorin came home was pervaded with a sleepy settling in for the young frei, while his two guardians were filled with a jittery sort of panic on the inside (for markedly different reasons). Claire was astounded by how unprepared she was for his arrival - she had no new clothing to give him, his room only contained the old bookshelf full of her music boxes and the guest bed, and she still had no rightful idea what he needed to eat, but she had been too nervous to take him around town right after he had firmly said "home" the moment they had left the Lab. Aaron did his best to put a happy face on her panic, which she only confided to him behind closed doors, after they had put Lorin to bed the second night after his arrival, but that, too, was underscored with his own anxiety. He was back to work the day after they had picked the frei up, but his mind was elsewhere during the day, rather than on his paperwork. His astonishment at how the child had taken to him only heightened the feeling of unworthiness for the job he was given, and his heart stalled in his chest when he came home that night, those thoughts churning in his head, and Lorin had floated to him with a broad smile and taken his hand to slowly lead him further in.
It was a fragile sense of peace in such a new environment, and one that Lorin did not seem fully aware of quite yet, but it edged their interactions with one another. He was still busy with the task of getting to know the house and learning a few important words from Claire's lovingly patient repetition: "hungry," "tired," "happy," "sad," "mama," "papa." She thought it best to avoid teaching longer phrases until he fully grasped the simpler concepts, but she was surprised at how quickly he was picking things up - children really were remarkable. She noted this discovery to Aaron that morning while he was getting ready for work and he had distractedly agreed, before he hurried out the door, which gave her pause. Lorin picked up on this discontent first and had asked her "Okay?" with a gentle tug on her fingers, and she shook her head and smiled, telling him, "It's nothing."
Even with so much on the table that the adults felt unequipped for, there were certain things that Claire knew she could not put off any longer. She had been tempted to text everyone the moment they had gotten in the door a few days prior to tell them the good news, and had jumped in alarm when the text notification on her phone went off - but it was only Zeke, sending her the first family picture they had taken together. If she had told the family, she had no doubts of surprise visitors and several texts and phone calls, all immediate and all overwhelming, and that was the last thing she wanted to do to Lorin. He floated gently behind her as she went about her daily tasks, mind reeling, and when she would turn her head to look at him, he would duck behind the corner, the crown of his honeyed hair peeking out as he smiled and giggled. He was still so shy, but so eager to keep her in sight.
She could not keep him a secret forever, and Claire knew that; she could not put off what needed to be done. With the morning chores out of the way and Lorin snuggled up to her on the couch, she phoned her mother and broke the news.
"A little boy?" Ivy gave a crowing laugh of joy, the loud tinned noise startling Lorin but with a few cooes from Claire, he settled back into her side, eyeing the phone dubiously. "Fantastic! I'm glad he's here, and so soon!"
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Claire smiled apologetically out of reflex. "I just didn't want to overwhelm him after he had had such a busy day."
"Probably for the best," her mother agreed. "I'll be lookin' forward to meeting him when he's ready."
"Actually.." Claire began after a beat, segueing into what she had wanted to ask in the first place. "I have a favor to ask."
Motherhood, until now, had been a far off goal, something ripped from her hands through one circumstance or another. For as practical-minded as she liked to think she was, there had certainly been a fair share of rose-tinting and she was surprised by how ill-prepared she felt. Her mother had offered time and again to help when the moment came; she had not asserted that Claire could not do it on her own, but merely put out the offer for help. And Claire, in her panic, felt she finally needed it. Over the next few minutes, she and Ivy hammered out a plan to take Lorin shopping the following day. "Just groceries for now, though," Ivy said, "That's important. I've got some of Matt's old stuff in storage we can use for the time being, don't want to cram the day too full and stress him." Rather than decide what he might like, Ivy suggested, it would be better for him to pick out what he might like, with them to act as a limiter. Zeke had told her that Raevans went for all-natural foods and those related to their genetic make-up, but other than coming up with honey, Claire had no ideas.
"Let him decide," Ivy reiterated, and Claire nodded in agreement. With the phone call finished, she turned her attention to the tiny Frei snuggled under her arm and nudged him with a warm smile.
"You're gonna meet your grandma tomorrow." The words were slow and careful, both hands resting gently on his shoulders. "How does that sound?" Honey-colored eyes watched her carefully, his face neutral until he heard the word "meet," and a grin broke through his features like sunshine peeking shyly around a cover of clouds. He knew what this word meant; he had memorized it the first day he was born. Zeke had told him that he was to meet two people coming into the Lab that day, and that they were coming to meet him and him alone. Both of them turned out to be his Mama Claire, whom he loved very dearly and her smile felt like she saw no other person in the world, and his Papa Aaron, who seemed so oddly distant until he took his hand and everything was happiness again.
Whomever this "grandma" was, meeting them only boded well for him and he could not contain his smile. Meeting was nice. Meeting was a comfortable word that only brought good things.
"Meet Gran'ma?" he asked.
"That's right, baby boy," his mother replied fondly. "Grandma Ivy. She is my mama." She placed a hand to her chest as she spoke, and his eyes widened. She was Mama Claire's mama?
"Gran'ma Ivy," he repeated. She had a very nice sounding name, just as his mama did, and all at once his mind was teeming with busy questions. He wondered if she looked like Mama Claire at all, or if she liked smiles and hugs as much as he did, or if she was as soft-spoken as his mother was or more on par with Papa Aaron, who had gone at a pretty active clip the other night at dinner. There were so many things he wanted to ask this new person, his Grandma Ivy. He clutched at the ends of his scarf anxiously.
How could he ever wait until tomorrow to meet her? Tomorrow was far too long a time to wait.
Lorin floated behind Claire all day as she went about her chores, tugging at her sleeve intermittently and asking a few simple questions: "Where's Gran'ma?" "Is it tomorrow?" "What's she like?" Again, Claire found herself staring at the child in wonder and marvelling at how quickly he was picking up not only the simple phrasing that she was teaching him, but stringing them together in coherent, albeit short, sentences. He had been focused very intently on her and Aaron the past few nights. Her heart warmed - he was a very smart little boy.
He relented just enough to take some water from a sippy cup around when the sun began to dip; his questions were often but never endless, and he retracted from them shyly almost as soon as he asked them, innocently nervous but eager all at once. Claire's heart warmed at his curiosity and she fell in love with her son all over again. Aaron's arrival home seemed to signal, at first, a departure from his line of questioning, but as he floated over happily to drag her tired husband in by the hand, Lorin asked him, "S'it tomorrow, Papa?" which drew a confused squint from the older man and a laugh from his wife. Lorin laughed along with his mother, his rune glowing happily as he tugged on Aaron's hand.
Tucked into bed that night, under fresh, white sheets and wearing one of Claire's t-shirts in lieu of pajamas for the time being (Aaron's were much too large for the child), Lorin beamed at his parents. Claire sat on the edge of his bed and smoothed his hair while he settled in while Aaron stood by with hands in his pockets, wearing a quiet smile.
"Gran'ma tomorrow?" Lorin asked hopefully.
"Gran'ma tomorrow," Claire affirmed, and leaned down to plant a soft kiss on the child's honeyed hair. "Good night, sweetpea."
"'Night, kiddo," Aaron said with a nod of the head and a grin. "Be good in dreamland, y'hear?" Lorin giggled at his tone and pulled the covers up to mask his mouth and nose as he continued to laugh. Claire crossed the room to the shelf of music boxes, plucking up one she had bought while visiting now long-dead relatives in the United States when she was young. It was a Christmas-themed snowglobe, with two bears bundled up in winter coats and building a snowman - terribly unseasonal, but the song was cheerful. She wound it up, and the melody of "Babes In Toyland" echoed in the room. Giving Lorin one more fond goodnight while Aaron flicked off the light, both of them retreated from the room, shutting the door partway behind them. The muffled sound of the music box stood out against the soft movement of Lorin in the bedsheets.
"There's one meeting scheduled." Claire kept her voice at whisper level as the two of them retreated to the living room.
"Best to start him out with Ivy, anyway," Aaron added. "He'll be seeing her the most, aside from us." She chuckled.
"That's true." She tapped her cheek in thought. "I suppose Cadi should be next. With how often she's over, I'm sure he'll see her a lot as well." The uncomfortable truth about what they had discovered about the girl still hung heavily on their minds, and Claire took another moment before tagging on, "And I think it'll be good for her. And for him."
"Yeah." Aaron nodded briefly. "She's good with kids." They reached the precipice of the living room, and Claire stalled in her tracks. Meeting the family was paramount on her list, first and foremost, before getting him out to socialize with others and Lab associates. Matt, Anais, and the kids were certainly going to get their time with them, with their apparent excitement (and she knew that Cadi would likely tip them off that Lorin had arrived). But there were some family members who were less desirable than others. She wanted to protect Lorin from them, but there was no putting off the inevitable. Aaron paused with Claire and the air shifted between them, as though he knew what she was about to say.
"Also." She paused. "Talk to your parents." The words sounded thick on her tongue, fighting her as they came. "They should come over for dinner and get to know their grandson." She did not want to put Lorin through this hardship, but putting it off for as long as possible would only make it worse. Aaron, too, knew that, and his mind was embroiled in conflicted, guilty thoughts. He swallowed the rising lump in his throat. They both knew a storm was coming; it was just a matter of preparing for it.
"I'll let them know," he said in a strained voice. She nodded.
Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 5:10 pm
Grocery Store Shuffle March 6, 2016
Their day got off to a rockier start than both mother and child would have liked. Ivy called just short of one in the afternoon, sounding apologetic, but saying that they she would meet them at the corner market rather than heading over to the house. Claire groaned into the receiver while Lorin watched her, hovering in the doorway and ready to go.
"Oh Ma," she sighed. "Why do you always wait this long?"
"It's a bad habit, I'm sorry," Ivy protested with a sniffle. "Hard to teach an old dog new tricks."
"Being late for everything is not something to brag about, Ma."
"Well, you know what I mean," her mother replied dismissively. "Just head on down to the grocery store and I'll meet you there there." Claire frowned at the phone when Ivy hung up. Leave it to her mother to always put off getting her prescriptions filled, especially when her turn-of-the-season hay fever kicked in. For a woman who loved to garden as much as she did and had such a large amount of free time, she sure made a habit of being late for important things. Coffee dates, dinners, babysitting, anything that was family- or friend-related saw no issues in timeliness, but doctor's appointments and paying her bills on time were a different story. Her tardiness with those often led her into being late with other appointments - everything rolled into one. 'That explains why Dad handled most of the bills,' Claire thought with a grimace.
"Where's Gran'ma?" Lorin asked eagerly from the doorway, and Claire turned to him with an easy smile, setting the phone back into the base.
"Grandma will see us there." She knelt down, tucking her skirt under her legs. She half-expected him to show some sign that he felt disappointed in the news, but his antennae twitched attentively and he nodded. He was still learning, after all. "We're going to a new place now." She felt a small twinge of guilt at how she had waited three days to go grocery shopping; she had broached the subject with Lorin before, asking if he was hungry. That much he seemed to understand and he just shook his head with a soft "no". Claire would glance at his rune, nervous to see if the light had dimmed since he had come home, but it shone with the same intensity. His energy levels stayed on par with the past few days as he followed her around the house, taking in everything about his new surroundings. He would ask her for water from time to time when she would head into the kitchen for a glass by way of a tug on her shirt (and she thanked her lucky stars that she still had sippy cups from when Dinah and Brendan were much smaller), and she shared a couple of apple slices with him the second day he had been home, but otherwise there had been nothing. Still, it was something that needed to be done, and what better judge at what foods he should eat than the Raevan himself (with a discerning parental eye, of course)?
The mention of a new place perked Lorin's interest and his antennae swayed just a touch, wings fluttering as eyes widened. "A new place?"
"Yep," Claire said cheerfully, standing up. "To get you some food." There was another familiar word that had been bandied about in the past few days, and while he had been eating (Aaron had been providing some for him, and it kept Lorin for quite some time), he was not sure what other things he could actually have. To know that there were more things besides water, apple, and what Papa gave him that he could eat, why, that opened a whole new world to the small Frei. He hummed excitedly and pulled his hood around his face.
"Let's get food," he said with a cheerful giggle, drawing another smile from his mother. She looped her purse around her shoulders.
"Then off we go," Claire answered, and took his extended hand.
Lorin had been too disoriented by the shift in locales and the giant moving vehicle he was placed into (which he had thought was just for him alone, inciting panic) to take in the neighborhood on the day of his arrival, and he had approached the car with a bit of trepidation. However Claire eased his anxieties by leaving his door open after buckling him in while she opened her own door and sat down, closing his from the front seat. Springtime was showing nicely in the rows of green lawns and blooming trees that lined the street; they lived just far enough from the ocean for a wider variety of greenery to grow. He focused on the crepe myrtles that whizzed by, entranced by their blossoms until the motion made him dizzy and he had to sit back against the seat. There was so much he was still not used to but everything felt new and exciting, and with Mama Claire by his side (along with the prospect of meeting her mama!), he had not remembered feeling such a keen sense of anticipation in his short life.
It did not take them long to pull into the parking lot, and Claire exhaled a slow "oh no" in frustration as she began her circle around the store. Lorin squinted in concern at the slice of her face visible in in the rearview mirror, turning to look out the window. The parking lot was full of cars and most of the spots were taken. Lorin drummed his fingers against the door in anticipation as he caught sight of a harried-looking brunette pushing a shopping cart full of bagged goods and ushering along two young children, a boy and a girl. He leaned up, antennae twitching, until the girl saw him looking and he ducked down out of sight. "I knew we should have come earlier," Claire whispered in frustration, but her breath caught as she spotted an open space and slid the car in smoothly. The car's hum died as she turned off the ignition and she climbed out to unbuckle Lorin. He glanced around the parking lot curiously as he clambored out and Claire locked the door, but then she took his hand and with an encouraging squeeze, the two of them headed towards the small building settled on the front end ahead of them.
It was a small grocery store when compared to the larger supermarkets on the main strip, but being at such a key location to the local suburbs, it was often packed, especially on the weekend and so late in the afternoon. Large, colorful advertisements were visible on the glass, hand painted by the employees, advertising their meat specials, the catch of the day, and their special springtime produce sale. The area surrounding the store was abuzz with activity and Lorin squeezed closer to Claire as a few stares lingered after him. The doors opened without provocation before him and he gasped in wonder, momentarily forgetting his nervousness until they entered the store proper. Claire groaned again and Lorin leaned around her legs to see why: there were only four registers open, but every lane was packed with customers and carts. The rumble of frustration rose in her throat again as she loosed a cart from the few that remained by the doors - one with a particularly squeaky, disobedient front wheel.
"I guess we've got some time to kill," she said to Lorin with a defeated smile and a tug of the hand. "Let's start from the end. And.." Here she paused with another squeeze of his fingers. "Stop me if something looks or smells good, okay?"
"Okay," he answered back dutifully, and holding onto his mother's hand, the two set off for the furthest end of the store. He allowed his gaze to wander and a smile to spread on his lips; despite the hustle and bustle of the busy environment, he was not at a loss for anything to look at. Again, he drew a few gazes as they passed, but many of those who saw him (after their eyes dipped down in surprise to see that he was floating beside his mama, rather than walking) gave him curious smiles, and he found himself smiling back.
The store had a few fruit displays near the registers and Claire stopped to examine a tower of Pink Lady apples. Lorin leaned over it curiously - it smelled nice, fresh, but also vaguely sweet. She plucked one up and held it out to him. "What do you think?" He took another sniff, just in case his senses were deceiving him, and shook his head no. "Hmm." With a hand on her cheek in thought, she scanned through the different apple displays - Red Delicious, Fuji, Pink Ladies - and settled on the bright green of Granny Smiths. "How about this one?" She leaned over to grab one from the neighboring stand and lowered it into his open hands. He turned it this way and that, examining its bright, pleasing color, and sniffed - no air of sweetness permeated this one. He handed it back to her with a tentative nod, returned by his mother as she pulled one of the plastic bags open and dropped a few of them inside.
They continued on their venture to the end in this way, picking through the meager displays offered near the registers and settling on some strawberries that had not yet ripened yet, as well as raspberries. The air got cooler the further they went as they walked into the freezer section, and Lorin shivered as Claire hunched over to examine the milk and half and half. He glanced behind them as they lingered, tiny hands rubbing his arms. Everything in this aisle was bright, white, and washed out - it smelled sharp and cold. He longed to head back towards where the fruit had been, and his rune pulsed at the delicious idea. He shot a careful glance at Claire, who was now pushing through the half-and-half cartons to get to the newer ones at the back, and hovered back towards the end of the aisle. He returned to the apple display with a satisfied smile and picked up one of the Red Delicious apples - this one had a pretty sizable bruise on it, and he pressed it gently with his fingers, giggling, before he set it back down. There were still a number of aisles that he and Claire had yet to even look down, and the mystery of those enticed him more as he floated past four or five of them, spotted with customers. He headed on towards the opposite end but stalled as something bright caught his eye, and he backtracked.
The aisle that he stopped at was the most colorful he had seen yet; it smelled of cardboard and sweetness, but the bright boxes and happy characters enticed him further in. There were a few people in the aisle with him, including another boy in shorts and a tank top staring at two different cereal boxes in his hands and a mother pushing an infant in a cart as she perused the baking goods on the opposite side. Lorin hovered tentatively closer towards the cereal boxes and zeroed in on a bright red one with a happy, green-donning character. His timid hands plucked it from the shelf and he examined it carefully, taking in its multitude of shapes and colors on the outside.
"Are those real?" Lorin had not expected to hear a voice so close to him, and one unfamiliar at that, and his eyes landed on the boy he had seen a few feet away, staring at him just as hard. His hand was extended, pointing at something just behind the Raevan. The honey Frei gave him a puzzled frown until he turned and glanced over his shoulder at where the boy was pointing, face instantly alit in realization. He fluttered his leaf-like wings quickly in response, and the boy's mouth opened in admiration, bringing a brighter smile to Lorin's face. "Cool!"
"Jake!" called an unfamiliar voice from the other side of the aisle, and the boy stood stock-still and shoved the cereal boxes in his hand hastily back on the shelf, before bolting away with a hurried "bye." Lorin curled his fingers in a small wave but his hand paused when he heard a small giggle. The baby, sitting in his mother's cart, had been watching him, bright blue eyes visible under the tiny curlicue of red hair. Experimentally, he fluttered his wings again, and the baby broke into another peal of laughter, wiggling in the cart. His mother laughed and glanced towards Lorin, who shrunk back at being noticed, box held to his chest.
"Do you want to meet him?" the mother asked; he quelled, uncertain for a moment, and placed the box back on the shelf as he hovered closer. Somewhere, down at the end of the store, he heard a bit of a commotion and turned to look, but the baby giggled again and Lorin came closer. He felt nervous under the strange mother's scrutiny but the baby's gummy smile was very charming, and Lorin returned it, heart drumming in his small chest. His antennae twitched, clearly showing his nerves, and he extended his hand towards the child in the seat. The child, however, spotted his attennae as they vibrated nervously atop Lorin's head and he reached out and grabbed it with a small, fat fist and yanked.
He cried out in distress and wriggled away from the baby's grasp, hands flying up towards his antennae protectively as it pulsed with pain and he swatted the baby's hand away. The mother's good-natured chuckle at his startled state turned into a cry of upset when the baby wailed; a deep blush stole across Lorin's face and he floated backwards, the lines of cereal boxes and breakfast foods disorienting him as he turned to flee in embarrassment. The mascots that had looked so friendly egged him on and he backpedaled faster until he turned the corner of the aisle too sharply and rammed into another shopper. He reeled with another whimper, hands in front of himself. The fretful tears that had threatened to spill from his eyes came forth now, blurring his escape route.
"Woah there!" A woman's voice called from above him and he tried to backpedal but her hands were on his shoulders, gently squeezing but unyielding. "Hang on, you're okay, it's okay." She adapted a soothing tone as Lorin rubbed his eyes. "No need for tears, now." He squinted against her wavering vision, making out an older face with warm brown eyes. Crow's feet lined her eyes and wrinkles surrounded her mouth, which was curved upward in a careful smile. Her light gray hair was short and parted from the left; he could see large, shining earrings dangling from her lobes in a floral shape - they looked like some of the flowers in his mama's garden. His harsh breathing calmed. "There we go, that's a good boy." Her praise made his heart feel fuzzy, and he blinked when her hand came down atop his head, wincing as it brushed against his abused antenna. "What happened? Got yourself a little bumped up there, eh? Lemme see." He made a small whimper of protest but her gentle hands held his attennae, rubbing it gently and straightening out the hurting appendage. A shiver ran through him, pleasantly so - it did not hurt at all, it felt.. nice? He heard the squeak and rattle of shopping cart wheels and hurried footsteps but he was rather distracted by the strange, glad feeling of the older woman soothing the pain away, and merely glanced over as his mama appeared on the scene.
"Oh thank God." Claire's hand was clutched to her chest and she was trembling, pale eyes wide as she leaned over her shopping cart. "Lorin, you can not run off like that. What if your grandma hadn't been there?" Despite her apparent worry, Claire found it hard to adapt a scolding tone as her child wiped his watery eyes, one hand still clamped protectively around the base of his smarting antenna.
"Gran'ma?" His eyes widened in wonder at the older woman.
"Hi there," Ivy said, her grin wide as she leaned over, hands on her thighs. "You gave us quite a scare, Lorin." She tutted and wagged a finger, bopping him gently on the nose. He gasped and covered his nose in surprise, before he took in the whole of her smile and giggled.
"Gran'ma Ivy?"
"You got it." He could see how she was Mama Claire's mama - when they both smiled their fullest, it shone from every feature, especially in the crinkle of their eyes. No wonder she had felt so nice when he took her hand. He tugged his scarf up over his mouth and swayed as she continued to smile at him.
"Hi," he said, feeling suddenly shy. She gave a short bark of a laugh, a joyous sound, and he hovered an inch or two higher in surprise.
"Now, now, don't go gettin' bashful on me here." Ivy returned to a standing position, her words slightly breathless as she went a little faster than she had meant to. "We're family now." Family. That was another nice word that he had heard a lot of lately - Lorin rather liked it, even though he was still piecing together what it meant.
"Well, now that that is settled," Claire said with a relieved sigh, casting a doubtful look into the meager offerings in their cart before looking back at Lorin and Ivy. "Maybe.. maybe this was too soon." The concern was clear on her face, uncertainty in her voice. "Maybe we should take this and call it quits. I can come back on my own." Lorin could see the anxiety written on her features and he frowned - had he worried her that deeply? He felt a small twinge of guilt; he did not mean to make his mama and grandma so upset on his account.
"No," he replied, shaking his head. "It's okay." Claire and Ivy stared at him in surprise, and Ivy's face lit up.
"Looks like he still wants to keep going, Claire," she said with a laugh, and then continued, more seriously, "You can't do everything for him. Besides, no harm done this time. He's just gotta stick close, is all." Claire's hands clutched into nervous fists around her purse strap.
"But -"
"No buts." Ivy crossed her arms firmly, her words with a touch of finality but no harshness. "It's done, lesson learned. Besides," she segued, her face breaking into a fond smile, "I can't count how many times you 'n Matt ran off of us in the grocery store. It's what kids are good at." Claire's mouth slackened and she looked as though she were about to protest, but she closed it slowly and sighed, hands dropping to her sides in resignation. Between Ivy's reason and Lorin's hopeful eyes, she found herself outnumbered.
"Alright," she conceded, but added more seriously to Lorin, "but hold onto Grandma. No more wandering off, okay?" Lorin's smile could have lit up a room with how bright it was; he was so glad he had not ended their excursion to the store so early because of his carelessness.
"Okay," he chirped, and both Ivy and Claire chuckled at his eagerness.
"Well," Ivy said, after a moment, "I think I have a good solution to that one," and with that she leaned down and scooped the little boy into her arms, Lorin squealing in delight. He threw his arms around her neck and wriggled, laughing as the ground fell away and he could look at his mama and grandma at eye level. Ivy beamed and bonked her forehead to his as her fingers tickled his sides, earning her another giggle for her troubles. "How's that? Comfy?"
"Mmm!" he agreed, tiny fingers grasping her shirt and wings fluttering in joy.
"Good." Ivy nodded to Claire, smile bright. "Onwards we go. Pretty sure I saw a nice grapefruit display that has our names all over it."
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alpha lyrae
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Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2016 1:41 pm
Paint Me A Forest March 10, 2016
"I don't know, Claire." Cadi stood in the hall, clutching the strap of her messenger bag.
"Everything will be fine." Claire's voice was nothing but reassurance and she pressed a gentle hand atop the girl's - it felt tense under her fingers. "He is so excited to meet you."
"Mm." The noise Cadi made hinted at disbelief without giving it full voice. Much of the bedroom, empty as it had been, had been rearranged to pull the bookshelf and bed away from the walls. Claire had been of a mind to take Lorin shopping to pick out what he liked as far as decor went, but since their trip to the grocery store not even a week ago, she felt a bit of reluctance. A busy store might be too stressful of an experience, but he could not stay in an empty white room for the rest of his life, either.
Instead, she took to the Internet. With Lorin settled on her lap, she walked him through store listing after store listing as she explained what they were to the small boy. Lorin's vocabulary was growing stronger by the day and she could not be prouder, but certain phrasings were still difficult for him. It was in this slow, gentle way that they picked out his new bed sheets (a colorful set with a rain forest motif on it and splashes of green, yellow, and blue as frogs and birds patterned across the comforter), a few stuffed animals (including more frogs, Claire noted with a smile - ever since his first encounter with one outside of the Lab, he had been very curious about the creatures), and a few surprises she had picked out for him as well. Painting would keep Lorin out of the room for longer than she had liked and it was so terribly messy; besides, the soft colors of the wall were pleasant as they were. The walls in his room were a soft lilac in color and the carpet was pale; the window had airy, white gossamer curtains that brought in the light as soon as the sun rose in the morning - all nice features but perhaps not the safest for a small child, prone to dirt and mess as they were. She picked out a darker circular rug to spread over the main portion of the room, likewise patterned with a foliage design, a few favorite childhood books of hers that had unfortunately been lost in past yard sales, among other odds and ends. Lorin much favored following her around outside and they were only a week or two into him living with them so no hobbies had been especially pronounced yet, except for Lorin's interest in Claire's garden. Stuffed animals and children's books seemed a good place to start, but she also found something else that caught her eye.
As far as room decor was concerned, Claire was torn. She wanted to take Lorin's tastes into consideration but painting was not an option, aside from the bookcase (which was woefully plain). After some discussion with Aaron, they had decided that they would paint the bookshelf with Lorin to guide them (and participate if he wanted to), but that still begged the question of what to do with his walls. It was after Lorin had been put to bed for an afternoon nap that Claire's aimless wandering through a home decor website showed her just what she was looking for - pull-off wall decorations. There were many listings for popular children's characters and franchises, some that were more general but still rather underwhelming (Claire found herself frowning in that most of these only came in either blue or pink and nothing in between), famous quotes for more adult decor, and then full-wall spreads. That was where Claire had paused, finding just what she had been unknowingly looking for. She took a moment to consult the measurements they took of the room (they did plan to rearrange the furniture, putting the bed closer to the wall opposite the door) and made her order quickly, opting for the fastest delivery.
Their doorbell rang a few mornings later to a delivery driver and Claire happily signed off on the package before lugging the tube in the house to show Aaron later. His troubled face has brightened momentarily when she pulled it out to show him a sliver of what it was.
"This is awesome," he said. "He's gonna love it." There was a heaviness about Aaron as of late that Claire did not understand, but with so much to do, she often forgot to ask. She chewed her lower lip.
"Aaron," she asked at some length. "Is something bothering you?" The jolted look in his face was one he could not push away quickly enough for it to evade her notice, but he smiled shakily.
"Just a lot of stuff going on at work. Everything's fine," he said, but she was not the least bit convinced. The mention of Holmes Produce prompted another thought - the visit invite she had extended to his parents, reluctant as it was.
"Did you talk to your parents about dinner?"
"Yeah." The whole conversation seemed uncomfortable and he distracted himself by looping his tie around his head. "They said Saturday would be fine." The way he turned his body away from her to finish changing and the unsteady tone of his last sentence told her of a very awkward discourse between him and his father and that the agreement had likely been reached in some reluctance.
"I'll make lemon chicken and rice, then," she said stiffly, and left it at that. It was after that conversation that Claire fully realized that she had been at Lorin's side since the day he had come home, the tiny Raevan her little shadow. Now, she saw her opportunity to step back and give him the opportunity he needed to bond with others, but especially with his Papa. There was something that Aaron was fighting, despite his spoken desire the summer before to be open and honest with each other. She could not entirely fault him on that, even given her worry, but she could press back in her own way. It was time for them to bond, as well as to bring Cadi into the picture.
With the first family meeting out of the way, Claire had turned her sights on her younger sister-by-marriage. Not long after they had gotten home from the grocery store and made dinner together (an activity that Lorin was absolutely enthralled with, because it meant his grandmother would be visiting longer), Claire had stepped to the side to send a tentative text: 'Our Raevan has come home. When would you like to meet him?' Cadi was a notoriously fast texter, but her hours-long pause in reply stirred anxiety in her heart. She found herself checking her phone, feeling the phantom buzz in her pocket, as they made and ate dinner. But at last, there came the much sought reply: 'hey congrats! when's best for you? i'm available whenever'
The beginning stages of a planned meeting had been enthusiastic enough, and Cadi's replies were more fast-paced than her initial one, but as the day approached, the gaps lengthened. Her replies were shorter, terse, anxious at times: 'are you sure?', 'i don't want to overwhelm him,''should i bring a gift?'. Claire did her best to reassure Cadi at every turn and the girl relented, however reluctantly. The day of the meeting dawned clear and bright, and Cadi showed up in a hoodie that was worn at the sleeves and old sneakers, as per the instructions she had been given. She had her bangs and longer strands pushed back by a headband, a style Claire had not seen on her before but one that would serve her well today, if they were going to be moving furniture around and painting a bookcase.
"Hey," Cadi said at some length, looking Claire up and down doubtfully. "Why aren't you dressed for this?" The older woman glanced down at her loose blouse and skirt, billowy and clean, and smiled benignly.
"Because," she began, "it's just going to be you, Aaron, and Lorin today." That was the summary of her master plan of the day: to step back and give Aaron, Cadi, and Lorin the proper time to bond. As such, she had not told Lorin about Cadi's visit, partially out of curiosity but also to curtail another several days of questions while Aaron was in such an out of sorts mood. Cadi squinted but Claire had just laughed softly and ushered her forward as soon as she stepped out of her shoes. The two of them lingered just out of sight in the doorway before Claire gave Cadi what she hoped was a reassuring enough smile, and she peeked into the bedroom where Lorin and his father sat on the bed. They were going through piles of books from the old bookshelf, Lorin having wiggled his way under Aaron's arm to peek at what he was doing.
"What's that?" Lorin asked, pointing at the heavy tome Aaron had pulled into his lap.
"An old book nobody wants to read," Aaron said as he stuck his tongue out and tossed it into their discard pile. Claire had done her best to trim down the number of books they had had when she unpacked but she could not get rid of everything. Now that this was Lorin's room, it would not be right if everything in there belonged to somebody else. Cadi shrunk back at her side and she gave her a sympathetic smile before stepping into the doorway.
"We've got a visitor," she said. Lorin's eyes widened immediately and he straightened up, expression bright.
"Is it Gran'ma?"
"Not Grandma," Claire replied, and without further ado stepped to the side as Cadi ducked in. Her fingers tightened around the strap of her messenger bag but as she and Lorin laid eyes on each other, some of that tension faded and her fingers slid down and rested atop her bag, one arm flopped to the side. She laughed and nudged Claire with her arm.
"You didn't tell me he was a kid! Congrats!" She pushed a hand through her hair as she laughed and beamed more brightly than Claire would have ever hoped. "Man." The laugh softened and her eyes shifted to Lorin exclusively, who wiggled curiously under his father's arm. Aaron grinned and patted the empty space of bed next to him, shoving the piles of books further back when Cadi crossed to join them. The bed creaked with the extra weight of another body and Lorin shied a little from view when she continued to smile.
"Aw, c'mon kiddo, she's family too," Aaron laughed, jostling the small Frei with his arm. Lorin's confusion was apparent as he looked from his parents, to Cadi, and back to Aaron again. Unlike Grandma Ivy, this newcomer did not look anything like the three of them. Cadi's hands came to rest in her lap, one atop the other, but she seemed to be at a loss for how to guide Lorin here and looked back into the doorway at Claire for help. There was still so much that Claire had not yet explained to Lorin, and truthfully she was finding herself at a loss as husband, son, and niece all stared expectantly at her. But today, she favored the short and easy route, so as to give them more time together.
"Cadi will be visiting a lot," she explained carefully, leaning in the doorway against a propped forearm. "Think of her like.." How could she word it? "Like a new friend, but more like Mama or Grandma." Lorin squinted, trying to process his mother's words, but judging by the slow nod that followed, he seemed to be putting together his own understanding of it.
"Aw Claire," Cadi laughed, hands linked over one knee. "An aunt, maybe. But mom? No way."
"Not even a sister?" Aaron teased with a grin, and Cadi snorted, shoving him playfully. Lorin giggled at the laughter in her voice and her open, eager smile now that she was relaxing more. "Whatcha say, Lorin? She could be your sister, dontcha think? Your sissy?" The girl was shushing him, laughter ever present, but the young Frei felt only confusion at the term.
"Sister?" Once again, Lorin squinted as he parroted the word. His apparent confusion softened Cadi's anxious smile for a moment but she shot Aaron a look over the Frei's head.
"Well, I dunno," she said at some length with fingers laced and thumbs twiddling. "You can call me Sissy if you want." Her cheeks flushed warm and red, and she laughed suddenly in her nervousness, eyes averted. "I dunno, I guess." Understanding dawned on the young Frei. Just like Claire had told him that he could call her Mama, and that Aaron was Papa, and Ivy was Grandma - he still did not fully grasp what a "sister" was but the rush of pleasure in the girl's face told him enough. It was something that, on some level, made her happy.
"Sissy," Lorin tested, and at Cadi's further blush and the curl of her fingers, he broke into a sunny smile.
"A-anyway." Cadi broke through the sentimental moment with parted hands and a short wave, a quirk to her lips that told of feelings hastily hidden. "What're we doing today?"
"What it looks like." Aaron gestured grandly to the dresser before them, surrounded by small tubes of paint. "Painting a dresser for this fine young lad." Cadi looked down at Lorin, then doubtfully at her own hands, before she sighed and moved them down to rest on her knees.
"Well let's not burn daylight," she groaned as she stood up. "Time to paint you a forest, buddy." Aaron, too, got to his feet and Lorin maneuvered out of his arms and up himself, hovering near the two of them curiously when they made their way over to the sheet laid beneath the array of supplies and the dresser itself. Claire folded her arms and, with a smile, she backed out of the room, leaving the three of them alone to have the bonding time they sorely needed. Cadi and Aaron seated themselves around the dresser, both of them cross-legged, and Lorin plopped between them, picking up one of the paintbrushes to examine it.
"Ever done an art project before, kiddo?" Cadi asked amiably, and Lorin stared determinedly at the paintbrush in his hand, trying to seek an answer to that question, but after a beat he shook his head 'no.' She leaned forward and whispered to him conspiratorially, "don't worry, me either," before she grinned. Aaron mock-gasped from the other side.
"Cadi, do not lie to my child," he said with a hand pressed to his chest and an appalled expression. She rolled her eyes in response and bent down further.
"And neither has your papa," she added in a loud whisper chased with a silly laugh, and Lorin smiled in response - this new family member was very humorous, much like his Papa was. As the tubes were opened and the paints mixed on paper plates, the Frei glanced down at his ribbon tucked beneath him, lit from the soft glow of his rune. His Papa and Sissy both had that same something within them, the one that had drawn him to his Papa and taken away his own hunger. He glanced at Cadi when she rolled up her sleeves and caught a glimpse of a freckled elbow, and he rested his hand there tentatively. She looked up from mixing a shade of purple on the plate in her lap. "What's up?" And that was when he felt it, a soft flicker under his hand, in his rune - it was there, but it was less willing to make itself known than his Papa's. He retracted slowly and shook his head 'no' once again, instead focusing on the task she was working on.
"Whatcha doin'?" he asked, leaning forward. As though in need of confirmation herself, she glanced down, mixing brush in hand, and frowned.
"Y'know, that's a good question." She leaned sideways to address Aaron on the other side, eyes narrowed quizzically. "What are we doing?" He was hunched over, already pressing dabs of paint to the shelf, concentrating intently. Cadi squinted further. "What the hell is that?"
"What the hell does it loo --" he started to say defensively, turning to look at her, and his paintbrush veered off course, cutting a short dotted streak of blue and green across his simple dot flower. "s**t." He frowned, shooting Cadi an annoyed glance. "It was a flower." Lorin gasped in delight and leaned over closer to him to get a proper look, only to scoot back in confusion - this did not look much like the flowers in their garden, blue streak or not.
"I'd say your son disagrees," Cadi remarked with a chuckle. Aaron craned his neck to give her a withering stare and she merely laughed and set back to work.
"Not everybody appreciates the work of a true arteest," he sniffed dramatically, but the smile he cracked at Lorin made the child beam and he wriggled his way back into Aaron's arms. The shuffle almost knocked the paper mixing plate over and he had to act fast to catch it, but he laughed obligingly and shifted Lorin to sit on his lap. "Almost had a tragic accident there, bud. D'you wanna paint with us?" Lorin looked expectantly at the paint brush in Aaron's hand and took it as it was offered, still unsure of what to do. Aaron laughed again and took hold of the brush from the back; Lorin's fingers fell from it expectantly but his father secured his hand back on and guided it to the paper plate. "Let's make the center first. Get some 'a this yellow --" The brush dipped into a lump of bright yellow paint. "-- And then onto the bookcase." Aaron's tone was soft as he guided Lorin's hand, and when the brush pressed to the white surface, he said "boop" softly under his breath and the honey Frei giggled.
"Boop," Lorin parroted with a wide smile at such a funny word. Aaron replied with a breathy laugh.
"Now we do the petals. Let's make 'em... red." The brush came down to the plate again to slide through the red paint. "And then you put 'em all around the yellow dot." Aaron counted out loud as they placed each petal, and the pair of them leaned back to examine their shared handiwork. It certainly looked different from Aaron's solo attempt (in which he had tried to make a rose and failed miserably), and he had to wonder why - perhaps he was more careful with guiding Lorin.
"Much better." Cadi's appraisal drew their gazes and her smile was without the gentle mockery of before.
"Kindergarten art classes know their stuff," Aaron said as he scooped up a paintbrush of his own, leaving Lorin to cradle the one they had used together between two small hands. "Your turn, kiddo. Let's make lots of flowers, okay?" He nudged the plate forward for better access for the Frei, who looked down at it with excitement and a hint of hesitation. But his brush came down in an instant and he had set to work, a smile on his face all the while.
Between the three of them, a simple garden came to life on the bookcase. A few of Lorin's flowers overlapped and there were more than a few smudged fingerprints, but the tiny Raevan appraised their work with the largest smile he could muster. They had made the bookcase new and beautiful together, and although his fingers were sticky and dirty with paint, they had something good to show for it. When he would go to sleep at night on the evenings before, Claire would set one of her many music boxes in motion to lull him to dreamland, and he would gaze at the crowded shelf until his eyelids felt too heavy. Now, he was not sure how he would be able to sleep with so many fun patterns to look at!
"Step one complete," Aaron announced proudly as the trio stood back, admiring what they had done. Lorin glanced up at his papa, who had a glow of happiness in his eyes that filled the Raevan's heart with much of the same feeling. His head swiveled over to Cadi, who was smiling down at the bookcase herself but her eyes were unfocused, lost in some other thought for a second. It was a flicker of a thing and then it was gone, just as his hand extended towards her own, and her smile became a roguish grin.
"Our collective lack of art skills aside," she joked, and Aaron sniffed dramatically.
"How is it going in here?" Claire appeared in the doorway, leaning in sideways with a tube tucked in her arms. A dull buzzing sounded from the boxes by the door and she glanced down. "Aaron, your phone's going off." Aaron waved his hand dismissively at the phone, and Lorin beamed and floated over to his mama in the interval, paint-covered hands reaching for her own as he pulled her further inside.
"We finished!" he said just as proudly as his papa. She leaned over, studying the work with utmost care as Lorin waited for her appraisal.
"What a beautiful garden!" she exclaimed, resting her hand on his honey-colored hair affectionately. "Did you help with some of these?"
"Mm-hm!" he affirmed. "Papa 'n Sissy helped too!" Cadi's eyes widened and her cheeks filled with color, and no amount of playing with her sleeves and ducking her head could hide her growing smile. Aaron grinned smugly at her over the heads of his wife and son.
"What's that?" Lorin asked as he pointed at the tube in Claire's arms. She straightened up and presented it as though she, herself, were unsure.
"This?" she asked airily, but a secret smile told Lorin that she knew exactly what it was. "You'll see. Aaron, help me pull out the bed, will you?" He looked at his paint-covered hands uncertainly, but Cadi laughed and stepped forward instead, rolling up her sleeves.
"I got this," she said, and when Lorin watched her brush by, she flashed him a smile, cheeks still rosy. The two women pulled the thankfully-light bed away from the wall and angled it towards the door, careful to avoid tipping the piles of books and boxes that waited to go out to the garage. Aaron's phone buzzed again as they passed, and he leveled a glare at it as he wiped his hands, and Claire stepped back around the bed, and with a flourish, she unrolled the tube on top of it. Lorin's eyes widened as the sheet unraveled and he saw silvery branches, leaves and stars appear against black.
"This," Claire said at last, "is for your wall." Lorin reached out a hand to feel the drawing for himself but Claire gently placed her hand around his own. "No no, you've got paint fingers. Go wash your hands and then we'll put this up together, okay?" He stared down at his hands, the marriage of blue and yellow and red and green at work on his fingers, and when Cadi nudged his shoulders, the three of them headed for the bathroom to wash their hands, Lorin moving the quickest of the bunch in his excitement. They returned to a harried Claire, pacing around in front of the blank wall with the wallpaper raised above her head.
"Need me to get a ladder?" Aaron asked as he filtered in through the doorway last.
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," Claire said at length as she continued to stand on tip-toes and press the paper to the wall, sighing. "I can stand on the bed on one side but.." Lorin's gaze wandered between his two parents, and as he watched his mama extend her arms over her head in an effort to reach where the wall and ceiling met, he shook his head rapidly and came forward, taking one of the corners of the sheet from her.
"I got this," he said, matching Cadi's words perfectly, little eyes set in their determination. He craned his neck to stare upward, daunted only slightly by the height - he had never flown so high before, at least not since his accident in the Lab the first day he came home. But he was determined to help, and Claire, reluctant as she was, gave a resigned smile and stepped up onto the bed shakily as Aaron and Cadi came forward, the man giving Claire extra support as she rose on shaky legs onto the bed.
"Hold it firm," she advised to Lorin as he rose up to match her height. "See the little tab in the back?" The sheet tilted and she flicked the white tab that stood out there; Lorin felt with his fingers (as he was too nervous to look down) and saw he had one of his own. "Hold onto it with your other hand and pull it off." She grasped it and pulled away, and the entire sheet shimmied - Lorin followed suit and the backing fell to the floor. As Claire's arms rose up to meet the corner of the room, Lorin unsteadily floated up higher and matched his own corner, eyes following his mother as she pressed it in and smoothed it out. The sheet met the wall and he slid his hand along the top seam, stretching his arm as far as it would go until he had to float to the side, his hand brushing his mama's. The two of them moved downward until two sets of hands came to their aid, taking up the middle. Claire moved off the bed in their descent and stood back, checking for imperfections and cutting in to smooth out air pockets. The forest rose ahead of them, the garden on the bookcase to their backs, and the quartet moved away to take in the full effect. The accent wall stood out sharply against the lilac paint of the other three; the light filtering in from the large windows caught the branches and they shimmered in a way Lorin had not seen just a few moments earlier.
"Now that looks pretty damn good," Aaron sighed.
"It does," Cadi agreed, and she bumped Lorin's shoulder gently. "What d'you think, Lorin?" The honey Frei moved forward and placed his clean hands against the paper.
"I like it," he said simply. The forest itself was raised from the background and he marvelled at the texture in the crosshatching. "It's shiny."
"Yeah, it was a nice touch." Cadi's eyes were on the wallpaper again, arms folded as she came to join him. "What's your new bedspread look like?"
"S'got leafs on it, and froggies." He paused, then amended, "Lotsa froggies." Across the room, the phone buzzed again.
"Aaron," Claire pleaded with a sigh, and he waved a hand and scooted past the group to retrieve his phone.
"That sounds awesome, dude." Cadi's hand clapped his shoulder again and she crouched down. "You're gonna have to let me come play again so you can show me, 'kay?"
"We can play with my new froggies," Lorin said with a widening grin. "They're real big!" Claire laughed and so did Cadi at the child's enthusiasm for his new favorite animal, but Aaron's laugh came after a delay. It took a considerable effort on his part to hold his smile, but the message notification staring him in the face induced a well-tread nausea.
Message
> "Hey jackass, are you there?"
Message
> "me levi and Ricky are gonna be in gambino tomorrow night. Let's catch up for old times sake!"
Message
> "It's reunion time, drinks on you since you're local right? haha"
Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 5:40 pm
Things Change March 11, 2016
Advisory
WARNING:The following journal entry features characters using discriminatory slurs; they in no way reflect the thoughts or opinions of the writer and are not meant to be viewed positively.
Aaron could not list all of the awkward situations where he had been left quietly sweating - not off the top of his head. He was more than willing to bet, however, that none of them came close to how he felt right now, among a clutch of three of his best friends from high school in a packed Gambino bar. His hand was clutched around the beer bottle and he could not tell if it was condensation or sweat that made it so hard to grip. It was moments like this that had made him wonder if the cosmos was having a laugh at his expense - Lorin coming into his life just as he was fretting over his own worthiness to be a parent, the disregard from his own parents that would likely come to a head during the pre-arranged family dinner, three of his former "friends" from high school in town for a weekend vacation inviting him out for a drink.
The universe must have been laughing its head off at him right now, as he stumbled and nervously grinned through passing conversation. The bar was loud, as expected on a Friday night, and while he generally had no problem trying to be heard, in the presence of Levi, Ricky and Peter, his voice was dimishing more and more. All of them seemed to match their Facebook profile images perfectly (not that Aaron needed to guess - their photo updates were frequent and usually clogged his feed), the three of them more solidly built up from their teenage years, Ricky even sporting a slight beer gut, but it was Aaron that had caught their ribbing as soon as he walked into the bar. "What the <********>, you got so fat!" laughed Levi, and Aaron laughed it off too as the others joined in, although his insides felt as though they were shriveling up. He had no idea how it was a surprise - his profile image was not even six months old, a photo Ivy had snapped of Claire and Aaron on their wedding anniversary.
What was he doing here, making small talk with the last people on Earth he had wanted to see? Had it seemed like the better option compared to staying home and fretting along with Claire over his parents visiting tomorrow night? She had been aggressively checking the kitchen to make sure that everything was stocked and ready, that her recipe would give them no room to complain about it (if there was something amiss, his mother would zero in on it, no doubt). Perhaps it had moreso been Lorin, who stared at him with wide, happy eyes that seemed to penetrate into the very center of his uneasiness, feelings that would swell when the child took his hand and his rune glowed softly.
He had spent the first few minutes doing the same dance they had done when he first friended them all on Facebook years ago - questions about his job ("Working for your old man still, eh? When's the dude gonna retire?" Peter asked as he tipped his beer back), his wife ("You sure as hell upgraded, god damn," Ricky said with a laugh), he brought up his kid ("And settled down and everything? Jesus, no wonder you got fat, gettin' all domestic and s**t," Levi remarked again with a toothy grin), but no talk of seeing pictures. Facebook, thankfully, made all of that unnecessary, and with that they dissolved into other topics, Aaron only marginally listening. Ricky was making a killing at the car dealership he co-owned, bragging about how he had taken his newest girlfriend on a cruise as a result of their end-of-year sales revenue. Peter spoke in a slightly bored tone about how he had taken over his family's textile business and he was having troubles with the overseas factories they outsourced to. Levi had opened a business of his own with a generous loan from his father - things were rocky but luckily a lot of his father's investors were backing his efforts. Aaron's fingers tightened on the bottle as he remembered how easily they had all flocked together.
The Good Ol' Boys, using the system passed down to them from their fathers, doing everything from their places of respective privilege. Something he had wanted to escape by going to public school but he was never brave enough to break away from the world he had known so intimately.
What was he doing here?
The drinks deepened for the others and Aaron nursed his single beer (he did have to drive home, after all, and there was no way he was facing his parents tomorrow with a hangover), and the others jeered him slightly for his choice. "Aw man, you're no fun," pouted Ricky, who was on his fourth drink.
"I got s**t to do tomorrow," Aaron replied with an apologetic smile and a shrug as he finished off his one drink, poised to order a soda. "Besides, you guys have a hotel right here on the strip, I gotta drive."
"Never stopped you before," Peter challenged, eyebrows lifted. Aaron did not take the bait, and instead went up to the bar to get his soda. High school parties and college had helped his tolerance and he was not even feeling the slightest bit buzzed, but the further they got into their drinks, he wagered, the more easily he could sneak away. And hopefully sooner rather than later.
'Sneak away,' he thought, handing over the cash for his soda. 'Like a damn coward. You're always such a damn coward.' He dropped his change into the tip jar and took his soda, heading back towards the table. The crowd around the bar was thick so he took his time weaving through, eyebrows creased as he tried to work out his escape plan. 'If you don't want to be here, just ******** leave. You're an adult, you don't need someone to hold your hand through this s**t. They're not your only friends, you know.'
The thought struck him quite suddenly and he stopped in his return, lifing his arm slightly as a pair of young twenty-somethings ducked around him, heading towards the bar. They weren't his only friends, not anymore. As far as the Lab went, Claire was the true guardian for their upcoming Raevan; she was the one who was doing her best to make friends and forge connections with others in the program while Aaron stood to the side. They had both become so wrapped up in their work and the tragedies in their lives that there had really not been much time for friends otherwise - it was something, he felt, Claire deserved.
But the Lab had brought him friends, too. Tentative friendships, yes, but still enough to show him that he was not alone. Justin, Anita, Cruz, Mordekai, Duncan, little Aina, Amity, Connor, Henry, Ethiriel.. even Phoenix had become more of a fixure in his life, now that he knew they were both in the program together. Aaron had a chance to make what he and his friends had done to Phoenix right - Raevan guardianship was giving him that opportunity. He would only be the person he was afraid of being if he let himself stay there, laughing with his old high school buddies at the expense of other people. Being alone was no longer a factor - what was a factor now was if he were brave enough to make the break.
'Finish the soda and leave. Delete them on Facebook and never look back.' Hand gripped tightly around his glass, he trudged on through the crowd back to his table, and some of his bravado waned when he saw the three of them laughing, pink-cheeked, the many beers they collectively drank at work as they hunched over Peter's phone. He visibly brightened when Aaron returned and scooted his chair over, arm lazily draping over Aaron's shoulder as he held the phone up for him to see. He was having difficulty holding it still.
"Check this s**t out, look," he slurred, and Aaron reluctantly reached out to steady the phone and see what had caused such a ruckus - his heart thumped painfully as he recognized his ex-girlfriend's name, Danielle deCosta. It was an image of an ultrasound, showing that another child was on the way, and her comment below gushed her joy: "God continues to bless me; we are so humbled to welcome another sweet life into our family. Owen and I know that Lily, Antonia, Marco, and Rena will be wonderful older siblings." A Bible verse was superimposed on the bottom: "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. - Psalm 127:3."
"She could never keep her ********' legs closed," Ricky said as he took a swig.
"Aaron knows all about that though," Peter added, and Aaron's face colored at his stupid compulsion in his teenage years to share everything with them. They were so drunk they probably failed to remember that Aaron and Danielle had been Facebook friends for a while. Despite their rocky breakup, she had bridged the gap - he knew, in their re-connection, that she had escaped an abusive first marriage, from which she had her oldest daughter. She had shared that openly to give support and strength to others.
"S-shut up," he stammered out, not even trying to mask it with a laugh or smile. He took a long draw from his soda. "What's it matter if she's happy?"
"Just like her mom," Levi said lazily, breezing over what Aaron had said. "Millions of damn kids livin' in a goddamn trailer." The three of them lit up again with laughter and Aaron frowned, deeply. Levi squinted at him from across the table. "What's your problem?"
"You insulted his girlfrieeeend," Ricky teased.
"No." It took a considerable effort on Aaron's part to keep his voice steady, anger and anxiety at war within him. "That's not --"
"No, that was that one chick." Peter kept rolling, and once again Aaron felt as though he were the same panicked teen tagging along at the back of their group, laughing and joking and redirecting their malice. He had been a target more than once of their ribbing but every time, he had redirected it to someone else. And here he was, getting defensive over two women who were no longer in his life - by all means he should be taking what they dished to him as he had spent so many years avoiding it. It felt as though nothing had changed.
"Sadie something," Levi prompted. "That fat a**. Who wants to take bets how fat she is now?" With another swig, he reached for Peter's phone. "Lemme see if she's on Facebook, I wanna know how fat she got."
"She's not, I already looked." Ricky pulled the phone away with a grin, and the anxiety within Aaron departed in a huff at their ever-smiling faces. He downed the last of his soda, both hands around the glass. Were they really just the same?
"We were awful to her," he said with a bite, and the three heads turned toward him, smiles growing.
"You did like her!" Ricky clapped his hands together and laughed, chair scooting back as he did so. He pointed at Aaron. "I knew it, I ********' knew it, man." The other two laughed and Ricky, encouraged by the alcohol and his friends' laughter (and Aaron's reddening face), kept on. "You shoulda slept with her. Tell us how fast she can move in bed." He waggled his eyebrows and the other two burst into another peal of laughter.
Nothing had changed. What the hell was he even doing here? More than ten years later and these men were still stuck in the same world of patting each other's asses for being well-off and tearing down people they used to know - people not even in their lives anymore. Aaron let out a hissing breath between clenched teeth and slammed the glass down, jerking the others to attention.
"Alright." He pushed his chair away from the table. It complained loudly against the scuffed wood floor. "That's enough. I'm done." Confusion was apparent on all three of their faces, with a pass of anger over Peter's features. Aaron felt sick, nervous as he stood up on shaky legs, but with his decision to leave came a rush of anger. He was angry that they had not changed, mad at himself for wishing that his impressions of them online had been false, and still endlessly angry at himself for the harm he had caused years before.
"What's your problem, man?" Levi laughed, one eyebrow cocked, but Ricky merely looked confused, and Peter's confusion had vanished in lieu of agitation.
"I said I'm done, alright?" Aaron shoved the chair back in, a scowl clear on his face. His head was buzzing like an angry swarm of bees. "I can't believe this s**t." He heard Ricky say, "what's his ******** deal?" as he turned and a hand clamped onto Aaron's arm and spun him back around.
"Hey!" Peter's already red face was dangerously redder now, clashing horribly with his blonde hair. "What the ********? Why'd you ruin a good time?" Aaron scoffed. A good time. All three of them were so oblivious.
"Unbelieveable." He jerked his arm out of Peter's fingers. Drawn up close to him, the two were of a height now, but Aaron noticed the difference between them with his broader shoulders. The man who had looked so large and intimidating in high school was not much of anything now. He glared. "You, you're the ******** problem, man." With a sweeping glance over at the other two, he scoffed again and sarcastically waved his hand. "Congrats, you're all still assholes."
And without as much as a goodbye, he shouldered hard past Peter and left the bar.
He walked fast, riding on the exhileration of the confrontation and the anxious beating of his own heart - he was too nervous to turn and see if Peter followed him outside. He still felt like a coward, turning tail and leaving as he did; they deserved a punch in the teeth for all they had done. Clumsy fingers fumbled with his keys as he climbed into his Explorer and started it up, and he drove out of the parking lot as though in a daze. The lights of the main Gambino strip flashed by but all he took notice of was his white-knuckled grip his hands had on the steering wheel and the red traffic light coming up before him, which cautioned him to stop. He was breathing heavily, and his heart gave a jolt when his phone started vibrating once, twice, three, four times before it ceased. His mind raced continually, asking him what he had done, why had he done that? But he had to quiet the voice of his fearful teenage self with a steadying breath.
"What you should've done almost twenty ******** years ago." His voice sounded strained from the continual volume shifts in the bar, the only noise over the hum of the engine. He turned the radio on; it had been off since he left the house, too nervous to listen to music as he went over how he was going to face them.
And now that didn't matter anymore.
The radio popped on in the middle of a Nirvana song and the words seeped into his brain, slowly coming off of its confrontation high. He turned the radio up loudly as the guitars kicked up the beat, bass thumping against him as the light changed. He wanted to laugh, yell obscenities at the trio likely still sitting back at the bar, but the feeling was dwarfed by his immense relief. Kurt Cobain sang how he had found God, and the only thing Aaron wished for in that moment was that he could reach out into the world and make up for what he had done - he wanted to know that Sadie Purcell was okay and happy wherever she was, he hoped that Lawrence Yew had a job he loved and a nice house. Somewhere in the world, he hoped, they would feel his good intentions and his remorse for how he used to be.
But he was not that person anymore. He was not afraid of being that person anymore. There was a lot of work he still had to do, a lot of feelings to unpack, but a small victory was a great starting point. He knew now that he was not alone.
alpha lyrae
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alpha lyrae
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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 9:25 pm
Hanging Hopes March 11, 2016
For Lorin to find out that he had not just one but three grandparents felt like a blessing of the highest caliber. Grandma Ivy was still a very new face to his but a frequent one around their household, and an incredibly lovely person on top of that. There had not been as much fanfare as there had been with her when Claire had sat him down when Aaron was out and told him that he would be meeting his "other grandparents" the following evening, Papa Aaron's mama and papa. He nodded, slowly, wondering in the back of his mind why he had not met his mama's papa yet, and was primed to ask until he saw the crease in his mother's brow and the strained smile as she returned to her deep cleaning. That left Lorin to his own devices until she came to help him with his room, which was still being pieced together with toys and collectibles. He settled onto his bed and pulled one of the large stuffed tree frogs into his arms. He could see how Grandma Ivy was related to his mama, and he tilted his head at the stuffed toy, which was tilted in turn. He wondered if he would find that same friendly familiarity in his other grandparents, and what his papa shared with them - his easy smile and loud laugh? His shaggy, curly hair?
Lorin beamed; he simply could not believe his good fortune.
Claire, meanwhile, was fighting a battle with her nerves as she aggressively scrubbed the counters. This was not a meeting she anticipated, even if she had been the one to ask for it, but there was a point to prove here. Lorin was here to stay, and even if his parents would never fully accept him as a grandchild, they at least had to know that he was here, and that she and Aaron were serious about it. She glanced at the clock nervously - Aaron had been gone an hour already from an impromptu meeting with some old friends of his. Could she trust him to back her up? There was nothing she hated more than doubting her husband, but his parents were an especially formidable foe. Aaron had made small strides since their argument in the airport parking garage, and she swallowed down her beating heart, lodged ever so firmly in her throat, as she willed herself to trust him.
What hurt was seeing the sparkle in Lorin's eyes when she had told him about the dinner. She had spoken to him with a pre-arranged speech in mind, one that cautioned him not to get his hopes up too high when they inevitably disappointed him, to be friendly but not soft, but the words died on her tongue the more his smile bloomed. How could she tell him that his grandparents would not love him, even if done gently and with the best intentions? She did not want to parade him out to get hurt, but Ruth and Clarence needed to realize that if they were to be a part of Aaron's life, that Lorin was something they could just not treat as though he were anything less than their son.
She wiped the table and the counters until they sparkled, counted and recounted her ingredients for the following night, and was so lost in thought that she jolted when she heard the sound of the front door opening and closing, followed by the jingle of keys.
"Back already?" she said, walking out into the entryway as she dried her hands, and stopped short at the flushed, conflicted look on Aaron's face. "What happened? Is everything okay?" Her husband noted the concern in her voice and she, in turn, registered the renewed light in his eyes but the knit brow.
"It's.. I'll tell you tomorrow," he said, although not dismissively, and his hands flew up, head shaking when she narrowed her eyes at his dodge. "I promise. We've got to get through the dinner first, that's more important." His hands lowered. "I'm fine, really. Promise." They stared at each other, the weight of what was left unsaid and the following evening hanging on their shoulders. Finally, he broke the stand off, unzipping his jacket. "We all set?"
"Yeah," she replied simply, her gaze watching him move automatically through the motions of putting his coat up, hanging his keys on the hook, stepping out of his shoes. "The best we can do, at least."
"Good." Aaron's voice cracked a bit, and he stepped up to join her, a hesitant hand on her shoulder. "Is.. is he excited? About tomorrow?" Claire's adapted passivity vanished and she frowned in concern.
"Very," was all she said, and took in a shaky breath. "I'm nervous, Aaron." As soon as she said the words, she picked up the slight tremor in his hand as it coursed down her arm. He did not try to take her into his arms and hold her to him, to ease her worries and tell her that it would be fine, because despite his small victory that evening, he was also very nervous. Instead he just traced his hand down the outside of her arm and replied with honesty as she rested one hand on his opposite arm.
"Yeah," he admitted quietly, voice hoarse, and added, "me too," before he planted a kiss on the crown of her head.
Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 7:10 pm
Missed Connection March 12, 2016
Saturday dawned as bright and cheerful a spring day as any could ask for, and Lorin woke energized and excited. He rolled out of bed, taking time to turn the sheets down in the way that he and his Mama had practiced, and with a firm pat to it, he floated away to admire his work before he left the room. Curiosity continued to plague him about the grandparents he was to meet today, and he scrunched his nose in thought as he tried to figure out what they would look like. A woman with Aaron’s curls and Ivy’s bright smile came to mind, and he beamed, thoughts busy to construct an image of Aaron’s father when he hovered into the living room where both of his parents sat on the couch, nursing cups of coffee.
"Gran'ma 'n Gran'pa today?" he asked eagerly, expression sunny as he called back playfully to just before he had met Ivy. However the response was slower to come, and a little more tired, something he noted with confusion. The two adults looked at one another and sighed as Claire stood up.
"Grandma and Grandpa today," she answered with a small smile that took a while to appear, as though she were distracted. She set the mug of coffee down softly and clapped her hands together, her voice taking on a tone of false cheeriness. "And now, it's your bath time, young man." She crossed the room and set a hand on his shoulder before he had a chance to protest, and all he could do was squint at the floor while she steered him to the bathroom. Claire had been so excited to introduce him to his Grandma Ivy - what was different about now? Did she not sleep well or feel good? He was so very confused.
Claire and Aaron both knew that dinner was just a formality, and that the meeting was a hurdle they were required to clear before they could move on with their lives. That did not mean, however, that Claire intended to go into the ring with bare knuckles. Dinner had been prepared and put into the oven in short order, and she knew that the sooner they ate, the sooner that Ruth and Clarence would leave. She wanted desperately to believe that Lorin would win them over with his brimming smile and curious demeanor, but precedent told her otherwise, and she would rather be braced for eventual disappointment, her hackles pre-emptively raised in defense of her son. Claire was prepared to offer them no quarter - lemon chicken and rice was a favorite of Clarence's, and the house had undergone her meticulous deep cleaning that usually preceded a visit from her in-laws. Ruth would find weaknesses, she always did, but she was ready this time. She would make sure that Lorin cut the nicest image, opting away from the ornate clothing he had been wearing when she and Aaron picked him up from the Lab in favor of an old button-down shirt that Matt had owned as a child, neatly pressed. His hair, which had a habit of curling and frizzing if left to air dry, was carefully blow dried and brushed, resting flat and neatly on his head.
Aaron, on the other hand, was quietly sweating. The high that had followed him home from the previous evening had long faded by the time he woke up that morning, to a few Facebook messages from Peter asking what his deal had been the night before. Faced with the task before him, he almost set the phone aside to forget about it - but no, that would invalidate what he had meant to do. Instead he blocked all three of them, feeling sick to his stomach with anxiety about what still lay ahead. It was a different arena, standing up to his parents, especially when he had to see his father during the weekdays at work. That had been the main point of contention between him and Claire, that he merely stood to the side and let Ruth dig into her. Was he about to let his parents do the same to Lorin?
He swallowed, feeling ill and in not the least bit hungry, despite the delicious scents drifting from the kitchen. Claire and Lorin emerged from the bathroom just as they heard the sound of an engine in their driveway. It was time. Claire anxiously smoothed Lorin’s hair and glanced towards the clock and the entryway into the kitchen in turn.
“I’ll go get dinner out of the oven and on the table,” she said absently, hands clutching Lorin’s shoulders as though reluctant to let him go. “Why don’t you two go show Grandma and Grandpa in?” Lorin beamed brightly as ever.
“Okay!” he replied cheerfully, and Claire gave his shoulder a final pat before leaving father and son alone. Lorin turned his smile towards his father and took his hand. “Let’s go, Papa.” The anxious smile that Aaron supplied in return gave the Frei pause, but he shook his head and led them to the entryway to wait for their arrival. Quiet conversation and footsteps on the porch precluded a rapid knocking, and Lorin jolted in excitement and sudden shyness, floating back around the corner of the entryway into the living room. Aaron watched him go and swallowed down his own nervousness as he took an intrepid step forward and opened the door. Lorin’s fingers curled on the threshold as he peered around the corner as much as his nerves dared to allow him.
Upon first impression, against the backdrop of the bright springtime sky, neither parent looked strikingly like his papa. His grandfather stepped in first and smiled uneasily at Aaron, reaching forward to take his extended hand. Lorin saw it then, in the quick, somewhat nervous smile - it was one his papa wore more often as of late. His grandmother swept in beside him in a billowing coat and skirt, tall and dignified as she relieved herself of her coat.
“So sorry we can only stay for dinner,” his grandfather said with an anxious laugh. “So much going on this weekend and our late arrival and all.” Lorin frowned - they weren’t staying? His papa had told him that Grandpa ran the company he worked at; he and Grandma must be very busy, if they owned a company.
“No, no, I understand,” Aaron replied quickly as he put their coats away, “Good timing then, Claire is getting dinner out of the oven so we can head straight to it.” The air was tense between the three adults, and he could feel Lorin’s eyes peering around the corner. It was clear to him that neither of his parents wanted to stay long, and he and Claire were happy to accommodate on that front. Anything to save Lorin from prolonged scrutiny. Still, the introduction to Lorin was the affair of the evening, and Aaron steeled himself for what came next. “But before that.. I’d like you to meet our son, Lorin.” He stepped to the side, where Lorin’s head was just visible around the edge of the threshold, and his antennae twitched at the sudden attention. Their gazes were slow to find his, but their eyes widened as Lorin floated out bashfully, fingers playing with his cuffs as he swayed.
“Hi Gran’ma, Gran’pa,” he greeted with a brimming smile. “Nice to meet you!” Now that he was closer, he thought it might be easier to see how they looked like his papa, but the expressions he found there quelled some of his excitement. Their faces were frozen in looks of confusion and vague horror as his grandmother’s eyes travelled downward, following his ribbon as it brushed the floor.
The air was oppressively heavy to Aaron as his gaze danced between Lorin and his parents, who looked as though they had spotted something rotten on the floor. Lorin’s face took on the confusion he felt inside at his reception as his brain tried to puzzle it out. Maybe they were shy and Lorin had surprised them so suddenly. His sissy, Cadi, had told him people sometimes make funny expressions that do not actually relate to how they are feeling, noting with a laugh that she had done that plenty of times. Were his grandparents just the same as his sissy was? There was little time to ponder further as Claire called from further in the house that dinner was ready.
“W-well,” Aaron said after a beat, “Shall we go in?”
“Y-yes.. yes of course,” Clarence replied, as though shaking himself out of a trance. Lorin saw his opportunity to be a good host and floated forward towards Ruth.
“I can show you!” he volunteered, tiny hands reaching forward towards Ruth but her hand deftly avoided his and instead came to rest atop her clutch handbag.
“That is.. that is quite alright,” she replied coolly. “I know the way.” Lorin was slightly disappointed that his thunder had been stolen and looked up at Aaron sulkily as Ruth and Clarence preceded them. His papa only gave him another brief, nervous smile, but one that tensed as he heard Ruth mutter to Clarence, "Did she clone herself too?" as they continued on. Lorin, it seemed to him, had not heard and floated at the tail end of the group.
Claire had made fast work of setting out the food and dishing it up to the guest place settings by the time everyone joined her in the dining room, and she straightened up, giving her in-laws as friendly a smile as she could muster.
“Thank you for coming all this way,” she said, stepping forward.
“Our pleasure,” Clarence answered. “Loathe as we are that we cannot stay beyond dinner.” Claire’s expression faltered only briefly but she was quick to recover.
“Oh?” She feigned disappointment. “That’s unfortunate.” The relief of such news took an incredible amount of willpower to mask.
“They got business stuff,” Lorin said knowledgeably as he circled around Ruth and Clarence to reach his spot at the dining table, and Ruth jumped as she felt him fly past. “Right, Gran’pa?” The Frei settled into his seat, the ribbon trailing off the edge of the chair.
“Y-yes,” Clarence replied uneasily as he and Ruth likewise sat down. “Quite right.” Aaron took his seat across from Lorin, looking around momentarily for his wife as she disappeared into the kitchen. She entered again, sweeping behind Aaron’s chair to set a bowl with half a grapefruit in front of Lorin before she took her own chair.
“Looks good,” Aaron said abruptly, nodding to the filled plates before them, and in an effort to avoid more awkward conversation, he picked up his fork and started eating. Claire took after him and likewise began, with Ruth and Clarence trailing behind. Lorin watched them all eat with fascination and excitement, aware of the tension in the room but unable to discern a reason for it. His mama and papa had worked so hard on the dinner and cleaning the house that they were probably tired and did not want to talk much, but there was so much that Lorin wanted to know about the two new faces at the table. Wiggling in his chair a bit, he looked over expectantly to Clarence, who was staring with determination at the tablecloth.
“Is your company big, Gran’pa?” he asked cheerfully. “Do you do lots of work there?” Clarence side-eyed him in surprise through a mouthful, eyes moving from Lorin’s face to the plate and then back to the tablecloth as he took another bite, feigning a full mouth for a lack of answer. Ruth, on the other hand, was not eating, so the Raevan turned his sights on her. “Do you work there too, Gran’ma?”
“Dinnertime is for eating, not conversation,” she stiffly replied, giving him a critical glare before she took a bite of her rice, and Lorin’s face tingled in shock. Had he done something wrong?
“Usually we have a large share of both at our dinners.” Claire had noticed the attack and was on the defensive, although she monitored her tone and words carefully. “Dinners are usually a little more boisterous when we have company. He’s not very used to the quiet.” Her words brought to mind the handful of dinners they had had since his arrival where Ivy or Cadi, sometimes both, joined them, and they were always full of laughter and joy, and several active strings of conversation. The expanse of silence that unfolded at the table now, save for chewing and the clinking of forks against plates, felt unnatural to Lorin. It allowed his thoughts to wander back to his grandmother’s stern words and the worry that he had done something wrong as he squished his finger into his grapefruit.
"You, uh.." His grandfather’s voice came out of nowhere and Lorin looked up. Confusion was written on Clarence's features as his eyes traveled downward from Lorin's face to his glowing rune. "You don't eat?"
"Not in the way that we do," Aaron clarified, albeit uneasily. "That'll be later, when he grows into his stomach." Lorin beamed, nodding.
"He can have fruit and water, but the main thing he feeds off of is bitterness," Claire added. Lorin, remembering prior dinners and the showing of his feeding before, brightened anew.
"Wanna see?" Lorin held up his wedge of grapefruit and took part of the edge between his teeth, and Ruth and Clarence reeled back a little as his rune glowed and he sucked on the rind. The grapefruit looked the same as it had before, full of juice and color. Satisfied, Lorin sighed and held it out to Ruth, who was closest. "You can try it now, if you wanna." He had fed in this fashion for the first time only a few short days ago, when Ivy had stopped by for breakfast, and all three of them had watched him with fascination. Aaron had even reached over, taking an experimental bite of the wedge, eyes wide as he remarked that it was sweet. The adults passed it around and Ivy had praised him for being so very full of surprises. However, his other grandma and grandpa looked on in shock, and Lorin quelled, lowering the offered grapefruit.
"That's nice," Ruth said through a tight smile, while Clarence looked at Lorin in abject horror at what he had seen. Lorin frowned. Her tone suggested that she had not thought it was nice at all and he looked at the dripping grapefruit, confused. Grandma Ivy, Mama and Papa had loved it, praising him and laughing as they passed the rind around. Ruth looked at him as though he had done something to gravely offend her, and the way that his grandparents’ eyes drifted below the hem of his shirt to the ribbon trailing off the chair and the glowing rune made him feel as though he were on display. His hands began to sweat and he averted his gaze to the plate. This was a new feeling for him, comparable to the fear he had felt when he had first awoken and frightened himself back at the Lab. It was uncertain and his heart gave a dejected thump against his ribs. The rest of the dinner continued in hasty silence and Lorin nibbled restlessly on his grapefruit. Clarence finished first, setting his fork on the plate with clumsy fingers, and Ruth subsequently dabbed her lips with a napkin and set hers down as well.
“We really should get going. It is getting late and all,” Clarence said at length, standing and pushing the chair back from the table. It squealed in protest against the floor, and Ruth took note of that, standing much more gracefully, dropping the napkin on the table. Both Aaron and Claire rose to their feet when they did and Lorin glanced up, looking troubled at the sudden departure. He dropped the grapefruit back in the bowl and wiped his fingers quickly, clutching his napkin to his chest.
“So soon?” Claire asked stiffly. “Did you want some coffee before you go?” She was reluctant to offer, but it was better to put on a show of hospitality that she knew that they would refuse. Aaron shot her a look of mild panic as Ruth patted her skirt back into its proper shape and Clarence pulled his suit jacket back on.
“No no, don’t trouble yourself.” He waved a hand with a slight shake of the head. The crease in Lorin’s brow deepened as they pushed in their chairs, Ruth clutching her purse tightly in her pale hands. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for coming out,” Claire said as she leaned forward to clean up the table, taking their discarded plates. Ruth had barely touched her food. Clarence offered the two a nod, avoiding Lorin’s gaze while Ruth acknowledged nobody, and the two swept out of the room to retrieve their coats. Aaron sat in shock as he reached for the serving dishes at the center of the table for something to do. The arranged dinner meeting was finally over, and he would hustle out to say farewell to his parents in a moment, but for now he needed a moment to let the relief wash over him. At last, it was over.
Lorin, however, was nothing short of confused.
He had been surrounded by incredible positivity since the day he had come home - he could count the negative experiences on one hand, and none of those had come from his family. The distance that his grandparents were putting between them created a tight anxiety in his chest, and he focused his gaze on the freshly-shampooed carpet as though trying to seek an answer. Had he done something wrong, just like when he had swatted the baby’s hand away in the grocery store? He did not have words at his disposal to ask specifically what he had done for the cold stares they had given him, but his limited experience told him that, usually, one warrants scornful behavior. He had swatted the child in his struggle to get away and both the mother and her child were upset at him.
Did he not greet them properly, when they arrived? Did he not ask the right questions? Was he not supposed to talk during dinner? Lorin recounted the entire evening as he floated sullenly beside his chair. There were so many questions, he did not know where to start. But there was one thing he knew he could do. Trailing off towards the entryway, Claire looked up from the table, her hands loaded with plates.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“Gonna say bye to Gran’ma and Gran’pa,” Lorin replied, and with a soft flap of his leaf-like wings, he continued on his way. Aaron looked out from the kitchen and he and Claire exchanged a doubtful look, which made him redouble his efforts to hurry up and put the food away. The underscore of voices in the entryway was clear to Lorin right away, and he put a hand on the wall next to the threshold to round it and bid his grandparents goodbye.
“- the rest of him? I thought she was joking.” The tense spike in his grandmother’s voice gave him pause. “Was that a.. a cloud of gas where his stomach should be?” There was a definitive shudder to her voice that could not be masked by the rustle of fabric as they donned their coats. Lorin’s hand slid from the wall and linked with his other over his chest. The fingers were still sticky from grapefruit juice.
"He was glowing, Ruth.” His grandfather sounded scandalized. “Children don't glow."
"I don't understand what manner of game Clare has roped Aaron into but that is no child. That thing is unnatural." His grandmother’s voice rose just slightly in her upset. "'Growing into his stomach,' did you hear that? How can our son buy into this so fully?" Lorin’s hands dropped to where his ribbon connected to his body, and his fingers began to tremble. He did not understand all of what was being said, but he knew who it was about, and their sharp words coaxed tears from his eyes.
"We did warn him." Lorin’s heart, so firmly lodged in his throat until then, dropped away. They warned his papa about him? He did not understand. Why would they warn his papa about him? His breath quickened in his tightening chest and he hunched over.
Was he bad?
"Look at it, though. How can they call that thing their son?" The tears broke through and rolled down his reddening cheeks. He gave a shaky sob. The sound gave pause to the conversation in the entryway and Lorin looked up to see the two of them staring at him in only mild surprise. His grandmother wrinkled her nose at him and his eyes washed over in a new set of tears as another sob took him. He wiped at his eyes fretfully.
He was bad. His grandparents said he was bad.
“‘M sorry, I j-jus’--” He hiccuped, too afraid to look at them as he spoke through a tight, congested throat. “-- w-wan’ed to say b-bye -” He took a sharp breath and wiped at his face harder, barely able to register anything through his tingling cheeks until he heard the sound of padded footsteps on the carpet and felt warm, familiar arms around him. His mama’s perfume came through strongly as she pressed him to her, a hand coursing through his hair.
"What did you say to him?!" He had never heard such a tone in Claire’s voice before, and despite the urge to bury his face in her arms, he forced himself to look up. Her eyes were narrowed and her mouth was set, stony and angry. It was such an uncharacteristic look on his mama that it almost frightened him. His papa stood to the side, glancing between Lorin and Claire and his own parents with an air of panic. Claire’s arms shook as she addressed Ruth again. “Tell me!”
"How dare you," Ruth seethed, and Lorin quelled against the sudden anger in the woman’s usually-controlled features. She gestured curtly to Lorin with her clutch. "It was his fault for eavesdropping on us, that thing did it on hi -"
"How dare I?” Claire’s voice hiked and she pulled Lorin closer. He could feel the tremble in her arms. “You.. how could you say that to a child? My child? Your son's child?" Lorin sniffled as both grandparents looked to him disparagingly and his grandfather was nudged to the side as Ruth moved in on Aaron, who backpedaled in surprise. Her pale hand reached for his arm and rested on it gently.
"Aaron, please. Listen to reason." The harshness of earlier was gone, replaced with tenderness as her fingers clutched his sleeve. "That is no child, certainly not yours." She glanced at Lorin out of the corner of her eye before she focused anew on her son. Her tone became one of beseechment and reasoning, as though she were speaking to the child he once was. He swallowed. "Your wife wasn't capable of carrying her ow-"
"Stop.” Aaron cut her off. His hands, sweating as they were, rested atop his mother’s and pried her hand off of his arm. “Don’t -" But Ruth took a new track at his resistance, ignoring the rising color in Aaron’s face, and she gestured to Lorin and Claire a little more frantically.
"The fact is that this is no child, this is an abomination. What have you let her get you into?" There it was, the same saccharine, condescending tone she used under the guise of concern. He had let her talk him into doing things he did not want to do so often in his life, and out of things he should have pursued, all with the same syrupy voice. His father looked over Ruth’s shoulder, hesitant to jump in, and anger burned hotly in his chest - his father may know business, but he was useless in family matters, and it was Ruth who ruled the roost. He looked to Claire, pale and horrified at Ruth’s usual tactics, arms wound around the small honey Frei. Lorin’s tear-stained eyes peeked out from behind her arms as he cried, red and puffy. His body radiated tension and fear, and Aaron’s heart thumped sharply in his chest at the thought of what the small boy could be feeling now.
"Claire didn’t ‘get me’ into anything.” Aaron’s voice was quiet, laced with suppressed anger as he crossed his arms to hide the fact that they were shaking. “I agreed to this." Ruth looked horrified. "And I'd appreciate it if you stopped talking about my son that way." She scoffed.
"Your son? Aaron, please, that th-" His arms unlaced over his chest and balled into fists at his side.
"Call him 'thing' one more time, mother." He could feel the color rising in his face as his volume rose. "He is not a thing. His name is Lorin - he’s got a goddamn name." Ruth laughed derisively and opened her mouth to counter her son’s argument when a hand clamped down on her shoulder, and the room went quiet, save for Lorin’s soft crying. Clarence gripped her shoulder and she turned around, incredulous, before she jerked out of his grip and stomped back into the entryway. The front door opened and slammed shut, making everyone flinch, and as the clicking of heels sounded down the walk, Clarence cleared his throat awkwardly.
"We'll.. we'll take our leave." He was uncharacteristically quiet, rubbing his hands together. "Thank you, uh.. thank you for dinner, son." He looked once to Aaron with the ghost of a smile, casting an uneasy glance to Lorin and Claire without turning his head, and backed into the entryway. Aaron’s face was burning and his breathing heavy as the door opened and closed, more softly this time. The three of them listened to the muffled spike of voices that culminated in an indignant sob from Ruth, and Lorin sniffed loudly and buried his face into Claire’s chest. Everyone was so angry because of him; he could not bear to see if his parents were as disappointed in him as his grandparents had been. Aaron swallowed against the tenseness in his throat and knelt down next to the two of them, and Claire loosed one of her arms to give him better access.
“Hey, buddy,” he said soothingly, smiling and placing a hand between the boy’s shoulder blades, mindful of his wings. Lorin sniffed and rubbed his swollen eyes.
“‘M sorry..” His breath hitched as more tears leaked out underneath his balled fists. “I’m bad..”
“What? No, no, you’re not bad..” Aaron felt the same helplessness that had held him back when Cadi had cried and berated herself on their couch only a few short weeks ago. "You didn't do anything wrong. This isn't your fault." Lorin shook his head as his antennae drooped.
"But I made 'em upset." The words were muffled against Claire’s shirt as he peeked between his fingers. "And you 'n Mama are upset.. 'n they were mad..” He lowered his hands and clung to Claire’s arm. He avoided his papa’s eyes, which made Aaron feel even worse. He felt like he had let him down. “They said I’m not good.."
"That was nothing to do with you,” Claire said soothingly, running a hand through his hair. She had to pause to consider her next words carefully. “People.. sometimes say things that are not very nice, for no reason. None of this was your fault, honey.” She nestled her face into his honeyed hair.
“Your mama’s right, kiddo.” Aaron felt as though his words paled in comparison to his wife’s, but Lorin finally met his gaze anxiously, and he felt his heart sink at the sight. How could he have let him get so hurt? It took a tremendous effort to swallow the emotion he felt, and instead he opened his arms as he knelt next to them, scooping Lorin closer to nestle between him and Claire. His wife smiled, exhausted but proud of the step he had taken. "You did everything you were supposed to.” Lorin nodded, one hand grasping onto Aaron’s shirt, and his two parents inclined their heads together over him, arms encircled around his small frame. Aaron held him tight, trying to convey everything he felt. “It's not your fault.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2016 1:29 pm
Still Learning March 14, 2016
It was days like this that Aaron was glad he decided to learn guitar.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, the acoustic tucked under his arm, Aaron practiced his chord scales to the empty room. He was only just getting into finger picking, mostly toying around within limits of the chords themselves. They came easily enough to him now that he could let his mind wander while muscle memory went to work. Birdsong played backup to his practice session in the darkening yard outside and he closed his eyes against the fading light that entered the room through the window.
Saturday evening and all of Sunday had been an anxious ordeal following the swift departure of Aaron's parents. The three of them sat on the floor for a while to let Lorin calm down, his tiny fingers holding onto Claire and Aaron for dear life. Aaron carried the small boy to bed once he had stopped crying, helped him into his pajama top and pulled back the covers for him to crawl under. Aaron stood up with a tired smile and hands in his pockets after Lorin was snuggled down, tiny fingers and puffy eyes peeking over the edge of the covers. Claire was much better at the goodnights than he was, and he glanced around the room awkwardly to find the music boxes, and he busied himself with trying to select one when Lorin spoke up.
"Are you mad?" The Frei's voice was rough from crying, and Aaron's hands paused on the shelf, hovering over an unadorned wooden music box. Picking it up, he crossed the room again to sit on the bed.
"Don't sweat it, bud," Aaron said softly with an amiable smile. "I'm not mad, promise." His fingers drummed against the edge of the comforter.
"Okay." He seemed satisfied enough, and Aaron popped open the music box, cranking the knob on the side, when Lorin spoke again. "Are Gran'ma and Gran'pa mad?" The melody tinkled away in Aaron's hands, and he set it on the windowsill next to the bed. His hand rested atop Lorin's head and ruffled his hair affectionately, but he could not find it in his heart to lie to him.
Instead, Aaron chose silence. His smile held and he wished him goodnight with a kiss to the crown of his head. The child's concerned eyes stayed with him as he returned to the living room where his equally-exhausted wife sat, smelling of dish soap. He still felt troubled himself over everything that had happened and as he sat on the couch next to Claire, she curled into him and her arm ran along his back to hook around his side.
"Aaron," she prompted, resting her chin against his chest with a small smile. "I'm proud of you."
"Don't be too proud yet," he commented with a semi-derisive laugh, and his arm dropped around Claire's shoulders despite himself. "I couldn't even tell Lorin that his grandparents weren't mad at him."
"Those aren't things he's ready to hear." She replied after a pause, a tinge of guilt edging her voice. "He should not have had to deal with that yet, but I think we're as much at fault here for putting him through that so early." Aaron nodded, leaning his head against the top of hers. Was there anything they could have done to avoid what happened? Hiding Lorin from his parents carried an air of shame to it, and he knew that he and Claire both did not want Ruth and Clarence to feel they were ashamed of their son.
"This stuff is harder than I thought it'd be," Aaron admitted with another laugh, one hand raking through his hair.
"Nothing worth doing is easy," Claire reminded, humming against his chest.
Unsure of himself as he felt, he knew that she was right, but it did not fully ease the anxiety in his heart that carried over through Sunday. He dreaded what would happen come Monday morning, when he and his father would inevitably face each other, and the tense mood was palpable among the three of them. Lorin was subdued throughout the day, distractedly coloring in his oversized grocery store coloring book, and watching Aaron with a furrowed brow before he would catch his eye and avert his gaze.
At last, Monday dawned, and Aaron's heart spent most of the commute to work that day in his throat. There had been no attempt to reach out to his parents following the blow out; he did not want his mother thinking he sought to apologize. There was no way to side-step seeing his father, however, and while Clarence had been the one to suggest that he and his wife bow out gracefully, Aaron held no illusions that he was being thought of in high regard. He pulled into an empty space in the parking lot and rested his head against the steering wheel while the car idled. He hated tension, and the thought of it twisted his stomach into knots; he hated the thought of being disliked.
But something had shifted inside of him recently, and a dislike even greater than that came to the surface - he hated the thought of the person he would become if he stayed on that path. Aaron was no longer the scared teenage boy that he used to be, who was afraid of opposing his parents, afraid of opposing his friends and spending high school by himself. As a man, he had a responsibility to himself and to the lives he contributed to - he and his wife were a team, but he had not upheld his half of the bargain and left her to the mercy of his mother's ruthless dislike. He had almost considered doing the same for Lorin when panic had gripped him.
He had taken the path of least resistence his entire life and dodged consequences for his actions with the deftness of a rabbit. Now it was time to accept it fully, from start to finish. With a shaky hand on his briefcase, he climbed out of his car.
Clarence was usually very good at avoiding the office in the mornings, favoring sleeping in or seeing clients to doing the actual paperwork, but he was sitting behind his desk when Aaron walked in. Both of them looked startled to see one another, and Clarence hastily readjusted the paperwork in his hands, tapping it on the desk. Not a word was spoken between them as Aaron crossed the room and set his briefcase on the edge of the desk, and he peered into the in tray to find the client list and meeting minutes from Friday.
"What time is the O'Niel meeting?" Aaron asked distractedly as he briefly read through the minutes, pointedly avoiding the elephant in the room. "Will I be going solo or are you coming along?"
"Oh, that," Clarence replied through the shuffle of paperwork. "That'll be at 12:30. I've already made the lunch arrangements."
"Great." The briefcase was popped open and Aaron dropped the paperwork inside, and he saw Clarence's shuffling pause, and the older man heaved a sigh.
"Son," he began. "Listen.. about Saturday.." Aaron sighed himself and closed the briefcase with a decided click, tensing in response.
"Dad," he replied, teeth gritted behind his smile. "We're not going to change our minds." He rested his hand atop the briefcase handle, gripping it tightly. "So forget it, okay?"
"No, I.. I know." To his credit, Clarence looked somewhat ashamed as he kept talking. "I just want you to know how upset your mother is, all of this was quite a shock to her." Aaron groaned - it was far too early for this.
"That's great for her." He managed to sound as dispassionate as he felt; was this only a small dose of how Claire felt dealing with Ruth? "I'm still not changing my mind."
"I don't want this to affect our work relationship." Clarence's voice found its footing and he caught Aaron's eye with a clearly concerned look. It had been a worry of his, as well, but he was still rankled about the casual sidestepping of how his wife and son felt. "We've got a lot on the line." The old adage of picking and choosing your battles came to Aaron then, and while he was not eager to seek forgiveness with his family (not yet, anyway - his mother needed to learn her lesson), his father had a point. Aaron could see clearly that they would never accept Lorin as their grandchild, but that did not mean he and Claire (and Lorin, by extension) would have to deal with abuse. He just had to set the parameters.
"Fine." Aaron picked up the briefcase with a nod. "But I don't want to hear any more thoughts about how you see my son, alright?" Clarence had the decency to look mildly surprised by the request. "Think what you want since I guess we can't change your mind, but don't drag him into that. Don't drag us into that." Aaron did not want to see his son rejected a second time, and he drove the point home as hard as he dared to. He wanted his father to tell his mother just how he and Claire felt. "Just know that you would be bullying a child by doing that. He's not going away." Aaron leveled his gaze at Clarence, and his father stood there, ineffective as always in family matters.
"Fair." Clarence conceded the point without a note of regret. "Business-only talk behind company doors." All for the sake of their family business. But if it would support his own family, Aaron was prepared to accept that quarter, so as long as Clarence upheld his part of the deal.
Overall, things could have been worse.
His fingers transitioned over to the E minor chord and he strummed a couple times, tired eyes watching his progress. The sun had fallen at last and the only sounds he could hear now was the muffled noise of an old Disney movie from the living room, where Claire and Lorin were snuggled up on the couch. He felt a small pang of guilt for retreating from the comfort of his family in order to be by himself and practice, but the musical hum of the instrument in his hands brought him a sense of calm after their frantic weekend. Was it wrong to have some time for himself? His fingers transitioned over to a C chord, answering himself with a shake of the head. There was nothing wrong with it, but he had a niggling sense of doubt in the back of his head. With how quiet Lorin had been since the dinner party and the concern evident in his features when Aaron would catch his eye, he felt he should be out there, assuring him that he loved him and would protect him from all the things that hurt him. But he also knew that that was a promise he could not always keep, despite the desire to do so.
He felt like a real jerk. But Aaron knew he was still learning - he was new to fatherhood, new to his own sense of personal independence. Everything in baby steps.
Nothing worth doing was easy, after all.
"Papa?" Lorin's voice sounded from the doorway and Aaron's hand rested against the strings to mute the chord as he looked up. A blanket was wrapped around the Frei's body and around his head, as though he were a tiny wizard. His small arms struggled to keep the blanket from slipping off, to minimal success. His voice was quiet and careful, expression full of worry that he was intruding, but he looked to the guitar in Aaron's hands with clear interest. "Can I hear?"
"Sure thing, buddy." Aaron's voice was quiet in turn, but there was a warmth there that he hoped would put the child's anxiety to rest for the time being. He scooted over as the leshy Raevan floated in, the blanket trailing behind him like a cloak, and he settled on the bed next to him. Aaron repositioned the guitar and added apologetically, "Sorry, I'm not very good. I'm still learning."
"S'okay," came the child's reply, sincere and heartfelt. "I know. It's still nice." The warmth Aaron had extended to Lorin was returned in kind, and settled in his chest, doubts and anxieties overcome for the time being. He picked through a D chord as Lorin cozied up against his side, watching intently, and Aaron smiled fondly down at his instrument as he played. Lorin pulled the blanket tight against himself, cheek pressed to his papa's arm as he felt the bitterness in Aaron recede. And for that, he was very glad.
Claire attends a flower-viewing party to scout out friends for Lorin when things take a turn for the worse.
Lab 305 Spring Viewing
"You're gonna do what?" Claire stood aghast outside of the Lab, ear to her phone as she paced in front of her parking space. "Oh Aaron, the movies are too much for him, remember that -" She cut off with a frown. "Yes." She raised her fingers to her head fretfully. "Yes, but --" A groan rose in her mouth and she stopped pacing. "Next time. We'll go see Zootopia next weekend, all of us. It might make him feel more comfortable with --" She stumbled, the words "his mother" half-formed on her lips, but she recovered as smoothly as possible, "-- with the whole family present. But the park sounds fine. The one close to the house shouldn't be too crowded if you want to take him there." A resounding laughter was her answer and she pulled the phone away from her ear with a grimace.
"Stop worrying so much and have some fun. You've been at his side 24/7 since he got here, let us have a boy's day." Aaron's voice still held a note of laughter, even after it had actually passed.
"A boy's day, plus my mother." She could not help the smirk that bloomed on her lips, and she took a moment to survey the outside of the Lab, struck momentarily silent by the beauty of the cherry blossom trees. It was certainly a lovely sight to behold and again she felt the missing presence of her young son at her side with a thump of her heart.
"Well, yeah." Aaron admitted defeat with chuckle. "Anyway, I'm gonna get him ready and we're gonna go get Ivy. You have fun, alright?"
"Alright. And.. same to you two." She had to bite back a "be careful" as she hung up, knowing full well that she was fretting way too much, but Aaron had a good point. Lorin had not left her side since he had come home with them a few weeks prior, by her own choosing; he needed this time with his Papa. Meanwhile, she had another mission: fielding for potential friends. She was still worried over the small Frei's potential crowd anxiety (he had not done well in their first foray into a crowded grocery store), but.. at least, this way, she could feel things out and set up some playdates, just casual one-on-one things. And perhaps help out her young niece as well, while she was at it. Cadi and Lorin would not be friendless for long, not if she had any say about it.
The gears in her head were whirring and clicking in place as she pocketed the phone and strolled around to the outside picnic area, where a small cluster of Raevans and guardians had already converged. Much like the tea she had attended just under a year ago, the backyard was done up wonderfully with well-stocked food tables, everything set so picturequely against the springtime backdrop of flowers and greenery. Claire caught sight of a familiar pink mop of hair and the back of a bunned head - the desire for familiarity worked well with her plans. She recognized one of the other Raevans among the group as the one who had welcomed her at the Anniversary Tea, while the other was unfamiliar but everyone looked to be in amiable spirits. A good balance of new faces and old.
"Hello, everyone!" Claire said cheerfully as she approached the group, all smiles and with a fond chuckle. "Hope you don't mind if I join you all over here? How are you doing, Henry?" She gave the man a friendly pat on the arm; she had not seen him for some time. Eth's mug was still sitting in the cabinet next to her own and Aina's, waiting to go home with their respective makers; she wondered how the tea Raevan was doing (she would have to ask Henry when they had a moment). A cheerful smile was cast over at the stag Raevan in front of her where it lingered for a moment and then moved on to the other two Raevans in turn. She suppressed the urge to fish out her phone to proudly show off several pictures of her new baby boy - there was time enough for that. "Rhedefre, Laz, it's wonderful to see you both again. And I don't think we have met yet, have we?" She held her hand out to Xiu. "I'm Claire."
Claire joins forces with Rhedefre, Lorenzo, & Vesna to track down stolen Fel Essences on behalf of the Lab.
Lost & Found
The dividing into teams had been easy (the good doctor had seen to that), and once everyone had treated their hurts and cleaned up a little, they only had their destinations to worry about, although her mind was roiling with questions as she drove. Who would want to steal the Essences? Who would send a flock of birds to do so? In the back of her mind, she pictured Lorin playing at the park with Aaron and felt a trickle of relief that he had not accompanied her today. Before they had departed she shot her husband a text - 'May be home very late, things have happened.' and when he had pressed for more details, she told him not to worry, everything was fine, 'Just helping out the Lab. Take Lorin over to Ma's.'
As a member of the Durem team, they were likewise divided up between cars and rolled in a small train towards their destination. Lorenzo and Vesna lived in Durem, which was a boon to their mission, but Claire had likewise lived in Durem for many years; perhaps with their combined efforts and knowledge of the area, they would make some good progress. The drive felt long and heavy to Claire, who still ached from the many cuts the birds had left her (an especially deep gash above her left eye, the only one that had needed a bandage, stung fiercely), but she imagined Cesc was feeling it moreso than her as she glanced at him in her passenger's side seat, as he had borne the brunt of the many birds in their flight. Her heart fluttered nervously as they rolled into Durem's city limits, eyes dashing between the road and the makeshift compass that Dr. Kyou had put together.
It did not take long for the compass to steer their two-car train towards the south end of town, to parts that were older. The needle guided them up a gently-winding hill, only to have their path impeded by locked gates. Claire put the car into park and turned it off, squinting against the sunlight at their destination. A worn sign over the gates said "St. Andrews Cemetery", and in the distance, she could see the outline of a forgotten church building just at the other side of the property. Climbing out of the car, she ran a hand through her mussed hair with a frown as she surveyed the gate before them.
"What a first stop," she said to the party at hand. If it had been night time and perhaps a chillier season, the cemetery would have looked much more foreboding than it did at the moment, with its sprouting but overgrown lawns in the sunshine. They were lucky there - daylight would make the search easier. The gates may have been locked tightly enough to keep them from opening it to drive the cars through, but not enough to keep out trespassers who could be nimble enough to slide on through. 'Or over,' Claire thought as she remembered her earlier flight with Cesc.
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