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 Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 5:18 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:35 pm
The kitten didn't like him. And had made that much perfectly clear from the minute Baikou had deposited it in his lap when she had decided it was her bedtime. Kan (as she had dubbed it) would need to eat once more and, if Hitsuga thought he could manage, the poor little thing still had a bit of yolk in its feathers that needed cleaned.
Hitsuga had figured out shortly after Baikou's departure to bed that she would be disappointed come morning. Kan not only remained stubbornly at the other end of the countertop, refusing to touch the bits of canned fish he offered it (which the kitten had snatched up so eagerly from Baikou just hours prior after a long time of struggling with the can to figure out how it was that the pop-top lid opened...), but bristled its spindly feathers in threat whenever he tried to pet it or otherwise reassure it that he was a friend.
His efforts, the kitten was sure to let him know, seemed to be in vain...
Kan was only going to wake up hungry later, the perfumer told the beast as he rinsed that evening's dinner plates in the sudsy water of the sink. And, if Baikou didn't feel like getting up to feed it? What would it do then?
The dragon-cat studied him through wet brown eyes, which occasionally flicked to the tin of fish expectantly, and then back to the man at the sink.
He would not hurt Kan... he continued, eying the kitten hopefully. It was silly trying to reason with a cat, he supposed. Growing up, Eiyou had forbidden pets in her household as she had been concerned the dander from a dragon-cat's feathers would irritate Eikou's allergies, so his experience with animals was somewhat nil, but...
....Perhaps the animal just wasn't hungry yet, he concluded, reaching out to take the can of tuna from the counter. That was fine as far as he was concerned, really, as its stink was beginning to make him feel sick. Debating with himself as to whether or not putting it in his workroom refrigerator was an option, or whether its smell would affect the flowers and such that he had in it, Hitsuga would quickly find that it was not an option at all as a tiny hiss broke the silence.
Kan, it seemed, had reached the end of her rope of tolerance for the big gangly oaf at the sink. She had waited patiently for him to move away for the last span of minutes so she could eat in peace, and now the great pale beast thought to take HER lovely fish for himself...?? Unacceptable!! stressed
For his part, the noise had startled Hitsuga so badly that the can dropped from his fingertips to the floor, spilling a mess of oil and fish bits in its wake. Kan had half-leapt half-tumbled from her perch on the countertop upon her dinner, taking in great mouthfuls as she glowered up at the porcelain before her, hissing again.
.....this was not. AT ALL. How she had behaved for Baikou. He knew. He'd seen it. The kitten had curled sweetly in her arms, nibbling carefully at each bit of fish Baikou offered as if it were a gift from the gods. It was quite a far leap from the snarling little glutton on the floor.
Well then.
Fine.
He would just....let her have it, then, he supposed... sweatdrop But he hoped Kan knew that Baikou likely wouldn't stand for this sort of behavior...
His response was a small snort as the lid of the can was grasped between tiny jaws and the kitten began to make the slow, ardorous journey with it across the floor to under the table where she could finish it unbothered.
Hitsuga could see that the two of them were off to a wonderful start with one another.
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Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:44 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:46 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:22 pm
[journal: 11]
You have nothing, if not a lot of time to think, when you are huddled in a bathroom, hiding from magic, keeping a friend company as her children get some well-needed rest. When she falls asleep as well, and you are left wondering whether it would be impolite or not to leave without waking her, thinking is all there is to do.
I thought much. On a particular question she asked me during our visit. One that I couldn't come up with an answer for at the time.
I have an answer for it now, I believe, after its kept me up for most of the night. And an answer doesn't do me much good at all, really, when I'm left wondering what to do with said answer.
She's given me no reason to believe she plans to expect anything of me. Or that she would be anything but receptive, but....
....even now, I don't know where to begin. After all I've put the two of us through with my indecision and my faltering, she deserves better from me than a simple decision and answer. I am already playing on a few ideas...ones I may act on once I've finished what needs to be finished.
If I can, at the least, get ONE thing right in this lifetime, I would hope that it is this...
~~ 苾畫
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Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 3:03 pm
Getting things in order had been the least of his worries when all was said and done.
His projects had fallen into place, as they usually did once he was able to focus on them without interruption and the last of them were currently sitting by their lonesome in a quiet corner of the workroom for the scents to marry.
Without his work to hide behind, there were only two prospects looming before him undone -- the opening of his shop and Baikou. While he was not particularly sure of what the former held in store, the latter seemed to be behaving oddly these last couple of days.
Well, oddly for Baikou, anyway...
Where before he'd often catch her staring at him when they were in the same room, with that bizarre sort of soft desperation in her eyes, she now seemed more interested in her books or in caring for Kan. And just as much as it relieved him, not to feel trapped in that soft, adoring, fawn's gaze, he found just as much, it puzzled him.
Thinking like Baikou had never been his strongpoint, and so he was, instead, left to wonder about the sudden shift of interest. And in wondering about it, it only opened the floodgates to wonder about other things, and to reflect on what had changed between them.
In these last few weeks, he'd been faced with a jarring reality -- the Baikou that had returned to his life was not the boisterous young butterfly he'd loved as his big sister. She occasionally resurfaced, yes....Hitsuga could see her dance fleetingly by in Baikou's conversations, and in her laughter -- but drawing her out fully to stay was a futile and disappointing venture.
Gone were the days of tidepools, egg-hunting, necklace-making, and laying on the hill for endless hours together.
Who had replaced her was a refined, keenly-intelligent, and gentle woman. One who expected the best of him and his endeavors and was not shy about offering her encouragement where she thought it may help. One who, most importantly, no longer looked to him as something pretty to protect, but who, just as much as she offered her own help, needed his help with things.
For the first time since he'd known her it was no longer her leading and him following. It felt as if the two of them were, at last, walking side-by-side. And that, in itself, stirred a different sort of love in him.
And it was those stirrings that did not want her to merely expect his best, but to receive it.
It had occurred to him that afternoon, in milling everything over again for the umpteenth time, examining the situation from all angles, that while living as a bachelor had given him ample time to master such things as keeping a tidy household and cooking acceptable meals, other things a husband ought to do had been, perhaps, swept with the rest of the dustdragons off of the back porch step of his mind at some point.
The last time he had actually read a husband's manual had been when his father, on one of his visits home, had handed down his own in a half-hearted attempt to bond with his eldest child. And Hitsuga, while he had read it, had deigned not to retain any of it after the wedding had gone sour. Why should he remember useless nothings, after all, if they were things one such as he would never need?
Except....however, now the joke's punchline was finally delivered. Now he WAS in need of such knowledge, and access to it was an entire world away from him.
He had been, at first, disheartened.....and then curious as something had occurred to him. With as many parallels as Gaia drew with the Empire, bizarre and muddled with technology as they were, he wondered if maybe...maybe it was too much to ask that their wedding customs, likewise, had any disjointed sort of similarities. At least enough that the men of this world would feel a need to publish a similar sort of manual.
Curiosity gnawed at him and had, at last, driven him from the house with the given excuse of needing to pick up an order from the florist (which was not a lie). He had just, however, carefully omitted the portion of the outing that would bring him to the bookstore further down the street.
And now....
Hitsuga was regretting acting on this impulse already. A gaian bookstore was not a small and intimate arranging of a line of shelves like the ones he'd come to know at home, but an impossibly-large selection that spanned not one, but two levels. TWO floors of texts glaring at him from their brightly-colored covers in a language he did not understand, saying gods-knew-what.
The small restaurant established within the building no longer seemed extremely strange to him....humans clearly made an entire day's event out of selecting their literature.
The covers had given him a good idea, at least, of what vicinity of the books he was in. The covers of a more obnoxious variety, boldly emblazoned with the drawings of various smiling beasts and people, were clearly meant for children. The ones with pictures of food, quilts, and flowers on their covers were likely for home and crafting, and the ones that featured bleeding roses, sharp-toothed pale humans, and glowing eyes peering out of the shadows...?
....he wasn't sure what THOSE were, but he hoped they had nothing to do with what he was looking for.
"Help you find something today, sir?" a female voice inquired to his left, making his head snap up from where it had been peering warily at a cover featuring the ominously-grinning face of a clown, trying to decide what, in the hells, this book could possibly be about.
Quickly smiling, and offering an apology, Hitsuga gave the woman a cordial bow.
He was not particularly sure what he was looking for, or if they even had such a thing, but...at this point, assistance would be appreciated... sweatdrop
"Sure!" she said, seeming not offput at all by his mindspeech, a rarity for him. Places such as these must have received the bulk of Gaia's melting pot. "Can you tell me what kind of book it is?"
Dark eyes faltered and then cast to the floor as he murmured something.
"Pardon?" she asked, leaning in a bit, eyebrows raising.
"A husband's manual." he said again, his voice only a touch louder than before.
"A husband's manual?" she repeated, her normal speaking voice sounding, at least to him, as if it were reverberating off of every wall of the store, despite the fact that it likely hadn't gone far at all. His face flushing deeply, he nodded once in the affirmative, still not daring to look at her. ".....I'm not sure I'm familiar with one of those." she said at last, apologetically.
"A maiden's book?" he tried again, using the different terminology for it.
Another shake of her head in the negative.
"Sorry..." she said, wincing as the feeling of embarrassment and disappointment must have been tangible as they hopped and sizzled on him like water in a scalding pan.
Its all right, he supposed this was a silly idea in the first place....
"Well....can you tell me what one of those is about?" she pressed. "I mean...we might have something LIKE that, but...."
Teeth sank into his tongue as he realized this poor woman was completely clueless, and to explain such things, especially if such publications were taboo in this world, would only make himself look horrible. Gray eyes continued to drill him expectantly, making him fidget.
A husband's manual was....a book for boys about to be married, he ventured gingerly. And....it explained such things as how to properly be 'intimate' with one's wife, and--
"OH!" she declared as if some great discovery had been revealed to her. "I think I know what you mean, just a minute!" and before he could offer anything further, she was gone. Well...at the very least, she didn't SEEM offended. And Hitsuga supposed that was a start.
She was not gone long at all before she returned, a (surprisingly-heavy) book clutched between her hands.
"Something like this...?" she inquired, her tone of voice a bit more careful now as if finally realizing the young man's embarrassment was warranted in this situation. As she presented the book to him, Hitsuga could not help but fix the cover with an odd stare. It was a drawing of two humans, draped in orange and red robes, in varying states of undress, surrounded by flowering bushes and decorative pillars. Its title, proudly identifying itself as The Kama Sutra, was lost on him.
M-Maybe...? He wasn't really sur--
Helpfully, however, she flipped open the front cover, flipping past the first few pages to give him brief flashes of what it contained. As various illustrations of a couple in full undress entwined with one another flashed past his eyes, he blinked in bewilderment, imagining his face must have turned several interesting colors all in the span of seconds.
......at length, clearing his throat, and getting his thoughts rattled back into some semblance of order he dared to answer.
That...might....yes, that might be precisely what he was looking for...
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Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 3:53 pm
[journal: 12]
I have a newfound respect for Gaian men. I honestly do, if this book is, indeed, what they are expected to study and absorb before their marriage. I think if this book were to be a learning requirement of the Empire, far more men would be content to remain maidens.
The clerk at the store had explained to me that it was a very old book, but remained a popular selection. I admitted my inability to read Gaia's language, and she insisted that this would not be a problem for several reasons.
One, because the illustrations contained inside spoke for themselves. Two, because if I particularly found it necessary, she could find me a disc on which someone would read its contents to me.
I politely declined this offer.
I had not known what to expect of this thing, really, and had opted to keep it hidden away until everyone (even the cat) was asleep for the night just to be on the safe side.
I am glad I did.
If Baikou could see me right now, she would have me sitting in front of a doctor with worries my head and lungs were about to burst. A book is a silly thing to drive onesself to a near-panic over, but this book...
Some versions of the husband's manual in the Empire were called unnecessarily graphic. They, however, dwelled only on what were considered the important essentials and shared their content evenly with advice outside of the bedroom for a happy marriage.
In Gaia's version, this book seems less a manual and moreso a collection of tactics, approaching the same thing from an impossibly large (and twisted) number of angles. A military strategist might be proud of how thorough it is.
....
As much as it makes me uncomfortable, and as much as I hope to never see anything resembling The Congress Of A Spider (one pointed out to me as I was paying for it) again, its all this world has to offer, so its something I will try and make the best of.
...provided I can retain anything from it at all with my having to put it down every two pages to stop and reflect on what, exactly, is wrong with these people...!!!
~~ 苾畫
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:37 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:55 pm
[journal: 13]
Dear Eikou,
I've given much thought this last span of hours to what you've often told me. That, in life there is no such thing as control. And the more you try to stop a fall that can't be stopped, the more ridiculous you make yourself look to those around you who have long ago stopped falling and are now gracefully taking the plunge.
I understand now. The circumstances for my understanding, though, I worry will either annoy you horribly after all you've been put through on my account, or will amuse you endlessly.
I hope you are well, Sister. I am feeling more complete than I have in a long, long while.
~~ 苾畫
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Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 4:43 am
[journal: 14]
These last few days have brought more than a few changes.
Not bad ones, though. They aren't bad changes. Maybe just a bit strange. For instance, I can't remember the last time I shared a bed with someone else, and the first couple of nights were very awkward. I would wake up every time she moved too much. And then sometimes I would turn over too sharply, which would wake HER up, which would then lead to her waking ME up to ask if I was all right.
As I said. Not bad changes, just strange ones.
My body and heart are content with the idea that we are properly married, my mind is still in the process of making that transition, though. Baikou has noticed. I think she finds it funny that even now I catch myself looking away when she changes clothes or blushing when she first gets into bed.
.....
Do you know what else is strange? Catching myself writing about all of this. I remember seeing them sometimes on the street or in the shops -- newly-married young men and women -- and all they wanted to talk about was their mate.
I remember thinking that surely it was not THAT big of a change in one's life. That they were only dwelling on it so heavily because it was expected of them to be enthralled with the idea of their own marriage when talking to friends and family.
In talking myself into my own, I had reasoned that little would change. Baikou and I have known each other far too long and have been through far too much for there to be any of that giddy newness. That the two of us aren't built for such things anymore.
That's what I told myself.
I don't care. Being wrong doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing.
~~ 苾畫
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Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 4:44 am
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 3:44 am
Folded journal page PERSONAL OBLIGATIONS:
-Ice Lotus - Lady Rika-
-Summer Petals - Lady Melody-
-Stalwart Glade - Master Shuuka-
-Yesterday's Whispers -Baikou- Scrap of paper NOTES TO SELF
- Place order for more packaging -
- Arrange future projects for custom glasswork -
- Advertising? -
- Library -
- Groceries -
- Chair -
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 2:19 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 2:59 pm
[journal: 15]
I guess I really ought to have given this more thought somewhere along the line. Even having had a few hours to think on it, I don't have an answer that doesn't seem off.
I'm not sure why it is that I assumed so easily that going home was simply not going to happen....and why I was so ready to resign myself to the idea that Gaia was a permanent arrangement for me. And following - for us. Looking back on it, I can see why she looked at me strangely for the answer I gave her at the time....what kind of person, after all, stays a handful of weeks in an alien world, thrown from the comfort and familiarity of their own, and when faced with the prospect of going home, wonders if it might not be better to stay?
Me, I guess.
As for why that is...? I couldn't say, really.
.....well, no, maybe I can.
It is true I had more than a little help getting acclimated here. Lady Rika was most generous in her providing me a house, locating suppliers for me, and granting me equipment and funds to establish a new business.
The decision of whether to sink or swim, however -- that was my own. There has, not once, been someone standing over me telling me of the things I have to do. Or reminding me of the expectations they hold me to. Not even Rika herself has checked in beyond a friendly hello and a curiosity in my work since moving in.
Even my marriage. In this world, that too was my decision. Anything I've been held to has been only because I've held myself to it.
At home, since the incident, I felt as if things were handed to me. My sister handed me back my life and my reputation. Kitsuo handed me my shop and, to an extent, my customers. And it was expected of me that I would rise to his ideals of helping him to establish himself among the Jasmine Row. I was comfortable, but it felt as if my life was out of my own hands and I ought to be happy to not have to make decisions for myself.
There is a part of me that misses that security. Of waking up calm, knowing I will be safe within my walls, knowing precisely what my day would contain, and basing my life around that control.
Just as much, there is a part of me that doesn't want to return to it. For as much of a wreck as I've been reduced to in Gaia, for as little security as I feel I have, I catch myself wanting to know what happens next.
It is a selfish desire, I suppose. I know that my grandmother would say so -- and also that she can expect no better from one who's always thought of nothing but himself. That my wife and her goals ought to be forefront now. ....and I would imagine that Baikou, of course, desires to return to the scholars.
....and that neither of us will tolerate being separated again, by work or otherwise.
In the end, one of us will simply have to come along.
And that one of us, I'm afraid, will likely be this one.
~~ 苾畫
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Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:31 am
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