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 Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:13 pm
Nita slid down the wall into a sitting position on the floor. "Jesus," she muttered again. "This sucks." And it really was unfair, to both of them. Why wasn't keeping Zach away from Gaius enough? Why did they have to bring her into it?
"Twenty-five feet," she repeated helplessly. Shouting distance.
Comet bounced off the bed and sat next to Nita, breathing into her ear. Nita half-smiled and draped her free arm around the dog.
"Well, um. I guess... I guess we'll get through it." Her own words, regarding the labs' tendencies to mess with people, were being thrown back into her face. Being sympathetic for a friend was one thing; it was another all-together when something directly affected you. Nita had flown under the radar for quite awhile, although she'd half-expected some sort of response after her break-up with Lauren.
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Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:19 pm
Gaius couldn't stand it anymore. If she'd been angry with him, shouted and scolded all his stupid choices, it all would have been easier to bear than the sad quietness of her voice.
"Nita, I'm so sorry." The words all came in a rush. "It's my fault, I shouldn't have exploded on Miller like that, and I was the one that went looking for trouble this time. I should have controlled my temper, found some other way to change things. I didn't mean to make a mess with Lauren! I didn't mean to hurt you! I... I didn't mean to be a bully..." His voice trailed off. Nita couldn't see the lines of anguish that creased his long face as he stood there in front of the comm unit.
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Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:46 pm
It wouldn't serve any purpose to get angry at him, or scold. She wasn't his parent... but she was a very disappointed friend.
Nita grimaced, guessing how guilty Gaius must be feeling. "I know," she said. "I don't blame you for what happened with Lauren." Granted, it certainly hadn't helped, but she was willing to forgive him. And she didn't really see him as a bully- sure he'd thrown his weight around, but he'd meant well.
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Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:13 pm
What he wouldn't give to see Nita, to be able to comfort her and make everything right again.
"I... I don't know if I can fix it. I'll try to not get into more trouble..."
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Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:42 pm
Even though he couldn't see her, Nita simply nodded. She hugged her knees, scratching Comet's shoulders for comfort.
"Okay," she said quietly. "I'll talk to you later then, I guess. I mean, feel free to call me whenever..."
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Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:55 pm
"I'll definitely call as often as I can. I promise! And... I'm sorry. Take care..."
With that, he hung up. Gaius gulped. Well, that could have gone worse... but it could have gone better.
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Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 7:13 pm
"You, too," Nita said. Standing momentarily she hung up, then slid back down to the floor. She knocked her head against the wall a couple of times before stopping to stare up at the ceiling. This sucked.
Even if she didn't really see Gaius on a regular basis, it was good knowing that she could. He really was a good guy, and somehow, in his bumbling way, tended to cheer her up. He was endearing and frustrating all at once, and Nita had grown to care for him quite a bit. To be forced apart like this...
Nita sighed heavily. It was depressing.
And it pissed her off.
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Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 6:35 pm
RP: Edge of the jungle, with Thom [AKA: That RP With the Place and the Guy] Nita MacNeal Once again, the duplex had grown too small. Nita had spent far too much time pacing back and forth; considering calling the labs, wondering if seeing Gaius really would get him buzzed, and making dozens of useless plans. She was rather at loose ends, since, as far as she could tell, Newt hadn't ever left any boxes for her in the cafeteria. She'd been checking once a day, but that little project seemed to be on hold. Just like the islander directory was on hold until Nita found out whatever happened to Kikue. In any case, staying indoors wasn't helping. With Comet's leash in hand, she strode outside, being sure to lock the door behind her. The two of them padded around the outskirts of the village, deliberately not going past Gaius' duplex. Nita followed the well-worn path that led through the lightest parts of the jungle. Having Comet with her helped her feel somewhat safe, and the jungle itself was a comfort. It was still too humid for her tastes, but being out-of-doors, with tall trees on either side of her, simply seemed right. Thomas Brinley Thom hadn't gone far after his encounter with Oz. Though the meeting with the gorilla man had cheered him, Thom hadn't accomplished his intents towards either Emelyn or Natsumi, and so he would stay nearby as long as he safely could. Of course, had he abided by safety, he probably would have vanished back into the jungle some time before. As it was, he had merely taken up a different position, this time curled up in the lower branches of a tree, looking very much like some vine or branch himself. The tree allowed him to see a good area around him while effectively hiding him from sight among the branches. And, as far as Thom could tell, there were no cameras in the immediate area, to boot. Though bored near-to sleep by his fruitless watch, the cobra still remained alert enough to flicker out his tongue every minute or so--and it was his tongue that first alerted him to Nita's approach. He lifted his head to peek down from the tree, watching the path curiously, and soon enough the red panda girl appeared. A good few seconds passed before he realized he recognized her--she certainly had changed--and called down. "Nita? S'that you?" Nita MacNeal Comet noticed Thom before Nita did; the dog bristled, interposing herself between her mistress and Thom's tree. Nita's head jerked up as she peered into the branches. Holy s**t, that was a big snake. A big snake who obviously wasn't Cass. After a moment of sheer prey-animal panic, Nita realized that the voice was familiar, as was the serpentine form. Although he'd certainly been less snake-like when last they'd seen each other. She kept a good hold on Comet's collar and placed a hand on the dog's shoulder. "Hush," Nita muttered. "It's me," she said, a bit louder. "Thom?" Thomas Brinley "Yeah," he acknowledged, wrinkling his nose at the dogs. Dogs were difficult. They were the perfect size for a good meal, and that meant the cobra couldn't sit comfortably near them...more for the fear of how the owner would react should the dog become dinner than any compassion towards the dog itself. Luckily, Thom wasn't particularly hungry today. "Haven't seen you in a while," he spoke as means of a greeting as he slid down to a lower tree branch, from there twining his tail around the branch to hold himself steady and lowering himself to the ground. "Sorry if I scared your pup." Nita MacNeal The 'pup' (who easily stood as high as Nita's waist) watched the snake-man warily, ears folded back against her head. Nita rolled her eyes, but kept a firm grip on Comet's collar. Although the way Thom oozed down the tree elicited a twinge of nervousness, Nita forced herself to stand still and project calm. "She's fine," she said, rather pointedly. Thom was a friend, of sorts, but who knew what his instincts might tell him to do? Nita shrugged one plump shoulder. "Yeah... A while." Several months, at least, since that party on the beach. "You been okay?" Thomas Brinley Thom was half tempted to make a face at the dog, or move suddenly, or anything that might startle the poor creature just because she was starting at him in such a way. Honestly, he wasn't going to eat her. He wouldn't need to eat again for a good few days. "Not really," he admitted with a little laugh and lifted his eyes back to Nita, then shrugged. "But things are lookin' up. Yourself?" Nita MacNeal "Ha," Nita said, not really laughing either. She knew the feeling. "Oh, it's been... complicated." What exactly could she tell Thom? Not that she didn't trust him, but would her various activities even interest him? "Changed for the last time," she finally said. "And uh, had some issues with Lauren..." Taking nonverbal cues from Nita, Comet started to calm down a bit. The young dog settled to her haunches, although her body was still ready for action if need be. Thomas Brinley "I thought you looked different," he countered teasingly, grin returning. "Or shorter, at least, but who'm I to talk? I don't even know my height anymore. Good thing about th' last change, you don't 'ave to worry about any more to come." He paused briefly at the mention of Lauren, trying to summon up an image of the girl. He knew they had met, but... "Lauren... Your girl, mongoos--" he trailed off with a sudden sharp hiss as the image sprang to mind, hood flaring, but a sharp pain from the back of his neck at the movement snapped him back to his senses. Reaching back, he pressed a hand down against the bandage, hissing through his teeth and praying it hadn't begun bleeding again, then returned his attention to Nita, offering an apologetic smile. "Yes, well, ah... Sorry, cobra didn't... Pity about that. She seemed a bit immature when I met her, though." Nita MacNeal Nita grinned back and stuck out her tongue. "That's true, though. I mean, I may be all short and stumpy now, but at least it's over." She gave Thom a noncommittal shrug at his description of Lauren. Even though they certainly hadn't parted ways on the best of terms (to put it mildly), for some reason she didn't want to speak badly of her. The bit of bandaging caught Nita's attention; she raised an inquisitive brow. "Something take a bite out of you?" she asked, remembering the gashes Richard was sporting. Thomas Brinley "S'a good short an' stumpy, though." He assured her with a nod, and, once satisfied that the bandage wasn't leaking, let his hand fall. "Cute. Endearing, even. You look like a teddy bear." At the question, he countered with a raised brow of his own, but only shrugged slightly. "Emelyn decided she would hack open my neck. Apparently there was a nasty bit of metal down there that had to be removed... But it's gone now." Nita MacNeal Nita snorted. "I'm choosing to take that as a compliment," she said, whiskers twitching. Her second brow shot up to the other's level as the meaning of Thom's quip sank in. "Holy s**t," she said softly. The thought of anyone being unchipped made her nervous, but there was also that hint of freedom... Without the chips, they couldn't be monitored 24/7, like animals in cages. Without the chips, Gaius wouldn't be buzzed unconscious if Nita came within twenty-five feet of him. Nita chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip. "You on the run then? It's dangerous, so close to the village." Thomas Brinley "It was a compliment," Thom replied, chuckling. At her expression, he flashed a toothy grin, nodding once more and spreding his arms. "Free as a bird, 'ave been for a couple of weeks now. I know I should be keepin' away, and I 'ave been, but..." He hesitated, good mood fading quickly as he glanced off towards the village. "You 'aven't spoken with Emelyn recently, 'ave you? I'm worried that th' labs 'ave done somethin'. Didn't really think about it before, but they've acted on lesser things..." Nita MacNeal "Geez," Nita muttered, impressed in spite of herself. Thom seemed to be in much better shape than either Annie or Jamal. Granted, he'd only been 'free' for a couple of weeks... But Annie had been seriously messed up from that change... "Emelyn?" she repeated, grateful to be pulled away from that train of thought. "No, I haven't seen her in ages." Nita frowned sympathetically. "And the labs do act on less," she muttered. Damn them. Thomas Brinley "Damn," he muttered and sunk back against the tree, almost as if he were sitting. He sighed. "But she 'adn't done much, right? I mean, cuttin' out th' chip, yeah, but she's Emelyn. It's not like she went out an' attacked a guard or another islander." Nita MacNeal "I know... But she's easier to find." Nita sighed, leaning against Comet. The dog snuffled at her hand. She knew Nita was distressed, but not exactly why. "Hey, do you know a guy named Lucas?" asked Nita, in an apparent non sequitur. Thomas Brinley He frowned, but nodded silent in agreement. Someone had to take the fall. He just hoped they wouldn'tr treat her too badly. At the question, Thom glanced back up, and, after a beat, nodded. "Met 'im a couple of times. He lost an eye, did you hear? Zach's carryin' it around in a jar." Nita MacNeal "Yeah," Nita said. "Zach waved it at me and Gaius, a few weeks back. Disgusting really, to flaunt something like that." The girl pulled a face, obviously bothered by the mental image. "Well, Gaius went to get it. From Zach's duplex. They fought, and now they can't get within twenty-five feet of each other without being buzzed out." Nita paused before adding, "Which is all well and good, really. Except, as his punishment, Gaius and I can't get near each other, or he gets zapped." She shifted from foot to foot in her aggravation. "So... they do what they can, to get under our skin..." Thomas Brinley Thom nodded. "He did th' same to me. Tryin' to use it to intimidate people, the arse. All it shows is that he's coward enough t' run back to th' labs. When they locked me in my duplex, I--" he paused, catching himself, and gave Nita a long, calculating look before deciding he'd might as well continue now that he had started. "I 'ad only insulted him a bit... Smashed his tophat, yeah, but I didn't intentionally hurt -him- or anythin'." Sighing, he shook his head, then glanced back to Nita. "Gaius isn't a girl's name," he pointed out helpfully, grinning faintly. "I don't think I've met 'im, though." Nita MacNeal "Poor Lucas, though. He must have really snapped; he seemed like such a quiet guy when I met him. Not that I blame him, really." Nita shook her head and sighed. She coughed slightly and quirked a brow at Thom. "Yes, thank you, I'm aware of that," she quipped. "And you'd have seen him, at least, at that Truth or Dare thing. I believe you had commentary then, too." Thomas Brinley "That's th' same thing I said when Emelyn told me his eye was gone," Thom replied with a half-hearted laugh, shaking his head. "This island changes everyone after a time...in more ways than one. Doesn't surprise me, really, that somethin' like this would happen to 'im." Thom paused, attempting to summon up the memory that had apparently been less than pleasant for Nita, then managed a sheepish grin. "Sorry about that. Wasn't quite myself. Th' horse guy who looked so baffled afterwards, then?" Nita MacNeal "I know what you mean," Nita told him. The girl shook her head again, remembering how she'd been tempted to go after Zach, waving that jar around. It had frightened her, being that angry, wanting to give in to violence. And that was something she couldn't honestly attribute to the red panda that made up so much her DNA. Her fury had been all too human. "Nah, it's okay," she said, waving a paw. "But yeah, that's him." Thomas Brinley "He seemed nice?" Thom offered uncertainly, shrugging. He couldn't remember much of Gaius, and they hadn't ever spoken, but generally he got along with the same people Nita did. At that, nowadays he got along with about anyone who was against the labs, even if he may not particularly like the person. And if this 'Gaius' was against Zach, then he was okay in Thom's book. "Zach'll get his soon enough," he added confidently. Nita MacNeal Gaius being 'against' Zach would be putting it mildly. Nita's cheeks puffed out into a little smile. "He's a nice guy. Except to Zach." And Miller, she thought guiltily. But he meant well. "Oh?" she asked. Did Thom have plans of his own for the dragon? Without his chip... Nita had no doubts that Thom could be dangerous. Thomas Brinley "Then he's fine in my book," he assured her with a laugh. And even moreso if he disliked Miller. Good for him. Thom didn't exactly hate Miller, of course...but he was still rather miffed for nearly getting shoved out of a tree, not to mention woken from his nap. Stupid bird. Thom lifted a scaled brow, smirking down at Nita, but intially only shrugged, waiting a beat before replying. "Zach an' I have a few disagreements of our own t' settle. Should be fun." Nita MacNeal "Well as long as I have your approval," Nita teased. She chewed the inside of her cheek, feeling just a bit fidgety. "Well... Good luck," she told him. "And be careful." Her fingers found the comforting ruff behind Comet's shoulders. Thomas Brinley "Most people find comfort in that knowledge," he countered with a teasing grin. After a pause, he nodded slightly in thanks, then waved a hand out towards the jungle, gesturing at nothing in particular. "I should probably go. I'm sure this path's watched, an' I can't afford to stay in one area for long. It was good seein' you again, Nita... Keep an' eye out for Emelyn, would you?" Nita MacNeal "Ha! I'm sure they do," she said, snickering. She gazed into the depths of the jungle, away from the relative safety of the path. Thom was right; it was a near miracle he hadn't been spotted yet. Of course, Annie and Jamal were still on the loose after months of attacks. "Be safe, Thom," said Nita, placing one paw on his arm for a brief moment. "And if I see Emelyn.... I'll let her know I've seen you." And hopefully both of them would be alright... and in possession of all their eyes. Thomas Brinley "Thank you." He didn't bother with a goodbye, only offered a smile and a nod--as well as a second for Comet--, then pulled away from her touch and turned back into the trees, venturing only a few feet from the path before gradually lowering to move along on his stomach, chin hovering only an inch or so from the ground as he slipped away into the trees. Nita MacNeal Nita watched Thom for a moment until he escaped from view. It was rather impressive how quickly he disappeared, even from Nita's sharp eyes. She rested against the tree for a while, talking softly to Comet. The dog, of course, didn't reply. Once Nita had her thoughts somewhat in order she continued on her way along the path. She couldn't let anyone watching the cameras know that anything out of the ordinary had happened.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:20 pm
Letters
Dear Lauren,
I'm sorry things turned out the way they did. I never meant to hurt you like that. I hope you're doing okay with Miller.
Best wishes,
Nita
Dear Lauren,
I hope Vixen didn't tear you up too much. I'm really not sleeping with Gaius. Just ask Duvert. And I didn't tell you to get cancer.
Yours truly,
Nita
Dear Lauren,
I'm really sorry. I miss you.
Dear Lauren,
I didn't want things to turn out this way. I think we both knew we were too different anyway. I don't hate you. We may never be best friends, but I hope we won't be enemies.
Lauren-
If you ever want to take Comet for a while, you know where to find us.
She misses you.
-N
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Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 7:31 pm
Scraps
Sometimes I wonder why so many people have paired up, or are trying to. But really, it's about as human as we can get. I won't say 'normal,' because none of us are normal. And, for me at least, it's not simply a matter of trying to put the pieces of my life back in order. Because for most of my life I wasn't exactly social. never really interested in dating. I'd had crushes, of course, but nothing ever worked out. Not that what's going on now is what I'd call "working out," but it's a lot closer than anything I'd had before.
I admit I jumped into a relationship with Lauren. We barely knew each other, and suddenly we were sleeping together, then living together, under rather adverse circumstances. It would have been so different if we were both in school; if we'd had other people to occupy our time. And when she was gone, of course I missed her. I didn't know what had happened. I think I had this fabricated version of her in mind, building her up to be both more and less than what she is. I get this sick feeling that's what she meant when she accused me of making her into a doll. It's certainly nothing I did intentionally.
But isn't that what everyone does? It's impossible to really know another person; their thoughts, their feelings, they're all projected. There's a double filter: what an individual decides to put forth, and how the other interprets those actions or words, colored by their own understanding of the world.
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
-Regina Spektor
When I met Maryke, I remember I mentioned Lauren. She asked if it wasn't weird to be with someone, since we're becoming so animalistic. Whether or not it was bestiality, basically. I told her we were still human inside, where it matters. But I don't know if that's necessarily true. Sure, I'm still Nita MacNeal. But I know I've changed, and not just physically. And not just the amount of change one would expect after a typical year- or even a typical lifetime, whatever that is.
Perhaps clinging to one another the way we do is an attempt to cling to our humanity. It's been documented that, after disasters- blizzards, power outtages, etc.- there's often a baby-boom. Something bad happens, something knocks our feet out from under us, and we reach for those closest to us. We have sex, romantically or frantically, to prove that we're not alone. To prove that we still have this basic connection to others. Being here on this island, being studied and provoked, is such a huge upheaval, is it any wonder that we form these relationships?
Boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, lover, ********, confidante, neighbor, acquaintance, annoyance, enemy... The spectrum of human association. No matter how social or stand-offish we were before. Even when I lock myself away, there's a need to reach out. I want someone to talk to, someone to curl up with. As it stands, the most likely candidate has been deliberately taken away. Taken away by the same people responsible for ripping us away from our old lives,.
I worry about this attraction to Gaius. Am I merely looking for a substitute for Lauren? For anyone who finds me attractive? He's certainly not what I ever thought would be my "type." But he's endearing in his own way. A bit old fashioned, but he means well. I only hope that we can understand each other even a little more than Lauren and I did.
The first time that Lauren saw me, I was still human. She thought I was her old lover from her days on the streets. Surely that put us at an unfair advantage (when is anything ever 'fair'?); we could never be who the other wanted us to be. Or maybe I'm just rationalizing, trying desperately to find reasons, excuses, for everything that happened.
That, too, is a terribly human way of grabbing at the last scraps of sanity.
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 4:40 pm
The sun barely lingered as a pudgy bird-man taped a sealed envelope on Nita's door. Marshall Hey Nita, My birthday is coming up this Saturday and I hope you can make it. It'll be in the cafeteria. Oh, I got all my fliers up, so if you have any other work for me, I'll gladly help out! -Marshall
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Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 7:51 pm
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Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 10:03 pm
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 12:38 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:39 pm
Mess
My birthday passed. A couple of months ago. I'm twenty-two now, and I've had two birthdays away from home. Two birthdays where I haven't been human. Last time, I made a rather pathetic display on the beach. Sang a little ditty to myself and kicked at the sand like a child. And this year?
I stayed in my duplex with the dog. No party, like Marshall had. Too many friends are gone or missing. I can't see Lauren, I can't see Gaius. Sometimes... Sometimes I just want to run off into the wilderness. Abandon my nice clean duplex and this sham of a nice clean life.
Because it's messy. It's a wreck, and there's nothing I can do to clean it up.
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