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 Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:33 pm
I don't agree, Tommy.
You see, I think the world can be like that, and society can grow into that, slowly over time. It's funny, but you put into words what I've been fighting for years to define: a collective relationship. I've called it the Orchestra of Hearts (which is another reason I thought it so strange that KiyoKyo and I have become as close as we have...it's just fate or good fortune one, I guess.)
You've shown that it can happen, on a very small scale. Well I've seen it happen on the same scale, and a bigger one, too. A scale where people are the medium as well as the measurement.
It is exactly how you said--honesty spreads. There can be no stopping the march of truth, and, in the words of a Roman (or a Greek, I don't remember which), "All things fall that are built on the wrong foundations". But you know, I think it's funny, because thinking about it, you're absolutely right--honesty is a thing to respect, admire, and care about.... Honesty itself is a seed for love, and of love, and as spoken in KareKano "Love is a thing that spreads". It's beautiful and timeless and wonderful, and I can only hope and pray and live so that maybe--just maybe--I can see a glimmer of that radiant future in today, like the pre-dawn sky before the sun breaks over the horizon. Hopeful pink meeting the reveling gold--few things are as beautiful as a sunrise over the ocean: I'm so lucky to have seen it time and again.
Saying that it can't be or it won't happen...these doubts have more power than you can know, if you don't know the power of hope. KareKano again, "Because just by existing, light makes it clear where the darkness is". It's just like that--hope cuts through doubt like sheers through wool--not always easily, but the sheers always win out in the end. It is part of the human condition to seek truth and to seek hope and to make the impossible possible. It is the human condition to fear openness, but be drawn to it, and part of the human condition also that eventually, we crave openness more than we fear it.
I have a feeling that Lion is going to read this and find something to nitpick on, or just generally rant on my hopeless (irony!) idealism, and that's okay. What's important is that he's still here, listening to what I'm saying, and I'm still here, waiting for him to reply, and you're still here, Tommy, reading this and most likely wondering when the hell I turned into such a fairy, and whoever else is here can read this post or skip it over, but the important part is that they're here, too.
Don't you understand, Tommy? That collective relationship you have with your friends doesn't end with them--rather, that is precisely where it begins. Just like most flowers, the brightest colors are at the center--it's what draws the butterflies and hummingbirds, you know. And to say that the rest of the world can't have what you have with your friends--or, as it seems to me, that you can't have the world as close to your heart as your friends--is to deny the greater truth of humankind: that we are all connected to each other--and each person, each web of relationships, adds up to another, and another, and we can find the greater truth that we are different, and yet, the very same--in this beautiful, wonderful, crazy thing called the human race.
---
I see a time, perhaps distant still, where the human race realizes that it isn't really a race at all--it is a family. And that, I think we can all agree, would be a beautiful thing. A good thing.
And it all starts with a seed of truth, if we are open enough. Of hope, if we are brave enough. Of love, if we are passionate enough. And from that, perhaps, if we tend to it, a new society will grow, and the orchestra of hearts will play in unison, peace and freedom resounding in every spirit, goodness and beauty lifting every soul, generosity and hospitality raising up one another with chords that sound sweeter and purer than any sound because they speak not to the ears but to the heart.
At times like these, when tears fill my eyes over a glimpse of such things, I must wonder How can people truly believe that this could never be? I can't help but ask the hard questions, and address the lack of faith in ourselves as a species. But maybe...maybe it's enough that I can see it, in the distance, and feel it in the in-between spaces between you and me and the whole world.
Love and Vale,
-Andrew/Leavaros Dapple
P.S. Hey Tommy, do you get it? Do you understand what I was offering in the PM?
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:52 pm
I do. I see now that resigning myself to believing it could never be was the wrong choice, and you've helped me overcome the second biggest lie I've ever told myself. You're so right, and if I can spread this unbelievable openness to other people I meet... If I can show the people who's lives I touch that you can be brutally honest and still respect each other... Maybe I can help to change the world. But the thing you're getting at, the global sense of family, is everything I wished for when I used to strive for anarchy. Maybe giving that up was wrong of me as well, maybe I should still hope and strive for the open and loving sense of love and community and family that I always dreamed of as an anarchist, and maybe I should go back to that path, and pursue it openly and lovingly as I once did.
What I can't understand is how I managed to cloud my own perception to the very thing that I always found to be attainable and true and within reach if only people would try. When did I become faithless in my own ideals? But I suppose that doesn't matter, because my vision is clearer than ever now, and with your help I've come back to it with a speed that could never be matched in any other of my conclusions or epiphanies... And with the love and friendship and kinship and sometimes painful honesty of my friends, I can show the world how it can co-exist on such a level, and how hiding how you feel from the people who love you so much, and who you in return love back, is never the right choice to make, even if you fear the truth might lose that love... Because true love always finds a way through the pain and darkness, and can put a right to the wrongs you may feel are present. Serj Tankian of System of a Down put into words the exact thing I've wanted to say to the people who question my collective relationship... "You don't know what this love is all about." He was using it in a different context, but it fits so perfectly with what I've got, and what I need to say to people... And I think its the perfect opening to any sort of explanation of my friendship with the people who's saved my soul on so many occasions.
So thank you, Andrew, for being another one of the people who I consider the loves of my life, and my saving grace's. Thank you for being there, and being my friend, and for the level of honesty we do share... And I'd like to have the same level, the exact same level of honesty with you as I have with the people in my life here who time and again have shown me what true love and understanding are, as you have done for me on this site. And I don't think you're a haltia, a fairy, at least not in the way you mean it. Because if you are a fairy, you're the best possible kind, you're a fairy as pure and as beautiful as the sunrise you've described. You're my rainbow after the storm, and that's such a wonderful thing to me.
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 7:03 pm
You make me so happy, Tommy. As always, fight for what you believe in. Personally, I believe, as the old expression says, "Democracy is the worst form of government except for every other that has been tried." I believe in safety nets, and society's duty to protect and better their citizens, and their way of life.
-Andrew
P.S. I have friends over, or I would type a much longer reply....
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 7:07 pm
Well, I can't say I've built up to you Lea but I clocked 3 hours today in the gym today and few! I'm beat! Just sitting back and enjoying a nice protein recharge blaugh ! All this week I plan on hitting the gym for at least 2 hours a day. Tomorrow I'll be starting a workout VLog, if you're interested you can check it out later tomorrow evening on youtube, just search for JBach2039.
Aside from all that, I'm looking forward to a not so carefree reading week, I have some assignments to finish, readings to read, hurrah!
Well, I'm off, need a shower, shave, will probably curl up with an episode or two of Firefly, aka the best show ever to be cancelled, might play some Guitar Hero, might go to bed sweatdrop .
Good night all,
the Lion
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:10 am
I'm sure you know what you're doing, Lion, but don't overwork your muscles. You'll hate yourself--just like my a** hates my *grr* advanced PE teacher every single time I try to stand up, walk, or then sit back down again.
s**t.
Well, this week was an overall really bad week, and I decided since my 'rents weren't home I would get on the computer to see if I could get some stuff done, since all that got done earlier this week was a lot of crying and fighting with my boyfriend. Eh Whatever, though. We're still together, still good. As far as I know, anyway.
Ok, I'm gonna go now...I don't want to think about the week I've had. Gotta keep busy. biggrin
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 8:23 am
Mkay, so, I've been spending waaaaay too much time in Gaia, so I'm gonna try and cut back to once a week. Oh, and Tommy, I love your new avatar. V. nice. See ya'll next Sunday.
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:09 am
Yesterday was very interesting. I got up at 8:30 to get to the karate tournament at 10:00 am. I messed up horribly on the kata, but still tied for fourth place, but got 3rd place and a trophe for sparing. I broke it of course, it got caught on the bleacher and the d of 3rd broke off. Then me and my friend stayed to watch the black belts. She had a that time of the month accident so I had to give her my extra pants and continue to wear my gi the rest of the tournament. Her mom came and got us and we went to her house. I got my pants back and helped her pick out a dress for the snowball. All her dresses were old and grannyish, so I had to help her make it look better. Then we went to the tournament after party, where of course there was sakei. I of course didn't have any like the good little girl I am but my friend downed some. So we both got really silly. They dropped me off home so we could get ready for the dance and then meet there, with some other friends. I got there at 7:45, at the same time as another friend, Matt was there to greet us. I ended up spending the whole night flirting with him, which I think included a lap dance. I may have come on a little too strong. I hope on monday he doesn't look at me like I'm some whore. I was just so tired of being coy, ugh. I'll just have to see how he reacts.
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:25 am
Don't worry Nola, I've done my research. Actually, the entire point IS to overwork your muscles. I'm getting into bodybuilding and anyone who knows anything about it has heard the term muscle failure. The more you wear out your muscles the more your body begins to recruit muscle fibres. But enough of my mumbo-jumbo.
Congrats Cari on third! Too bad about the trophy, that kinda sucks, maybe some glue will fix it? I know I was never good at the Katas, my memory ain't so good so learning all the moves was a pain in the a**. I got a bronze medal in competition once, I think I was 9 or 10, I can't remember. I've been itching to get back into martial arts but I have no time and I hear its pretty darn expensive.
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:54 am
Yea, it is $110 a month. I am actually really good at katas, but my nervs got the better of me, and I didn't have deck time, so I didn't have time to calm them and go over the kata.
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:26 am
I'm glad everyone's doing well. My weekend has been insane.
But enough about that. Lion, yes, you are supposed to work your muscles hard, but not past fatigue. Remember, a diet high in protein, calcium, and fiber is good for weight training, and just as important as the training itself.
And what happened to Varos!?! I demand/ask politely for more!
---
I think one day, I'll try getting into martial arts. I'm...well...I don't think I'd be very good, anyway, all thing considered, but...I'd give it a shot.
---
Whew! Everyone's posting like crazy! When did this happen? *quickly makes and serves several Valentine's Specials*
Now, with that out of the way, my weekend was crazy. In the course of one night, I had two parties, which spanned about four hours or so together, and had a couple friends over. That was Thursday. Friday, I went to another friend's house, went to the mall, and had two friends spend the night. Saturday, I had one of the friends spend the night again, and went to a party. Today, I raked up leaves for two hours, and for the rest of the day I'm just going to relax, watch a couple movies, some KareKano, and sleep a lot. This weekend, I think I got like, twenty hours of sleep total. And it was a three day weekend! gonk crying
Now, I'm watching Loving Annabelle, a lesbian-teacher-student-affair kind of thing.
Love and Vale,
-Leavy-Kun
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:21 pm
dude LD 20 hours for 3 days is actually pretty normal, i mean what the usual amount a person sleeps is like 7-8 hours a night, which i'm lucky to get 6-7. i work evenings and have early classes, kind of a bad mix, but i like having time in between to do things. that and i don't sleep good period. god, i'm regretting the coming weeks already, we have 2 cashiers at work, me and another guy who is the main cashier, it just so happens that he is quiting, so i may end up working more hours which is going to totally suck because i'm a full time college student as well, i'm going to hate working long shifts.
i'm going to try it for a week, then let my manager know if i'm able to do it or not. We just really need to hire people right now.
and yes I don't capitalize my I's cause I'm too lazy, get used to it.
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:58 pm
Ready for some shameless self promotion? Check out my avi in the arena!I can't believe I have a five. stare I mean, I wasn't expecting to get first or anything, but a five? *sigh* I guess it's not over the top enough for Gaia. -LD
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:01 pm
I voted for you, dear!
Guess what guys!! My brother and sister-in-law are going to have a baby! whee
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:32 pm
Aww! That's so cute! Oh my god, that would make you Auntie Maggie! How old is your brother, if you don't mind me asking?
Okay, well my fever is now 100.4. I'm heading off to bed in a minute or so.
(By the way, thanks for voting. I'm a bit more vain than I should be, I know, but well, whatever. I love this avatar!)
-Andrew
EDIT: Just read your comment, and I'm awing (Wait, that's a word?) right now through my coughs!
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Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:38 pm
My brother is 29... 30 in August. And she's 24.
I hope your fever goes away soon. sad
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