Lithian -- The Only Black Uke

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

How to Cheat at Fishing

Dear Journal,

We had our physicals today, and I was critiqued for my martial performance — again. It just seems so hard to get to the point where Master Atelei approves. And unfair. My overall performances are easily strong enough to get me through any of the situations the other could face, perhaps even worse ones. But Mother would call that pride and lack of willingness to face up to my weaknesses. I'll have to work on it.

I never could have anticipated what happened after, however. I was so concerned I'd never see Casseth again after that first night, but almost as soon as I finished with my physical, there he was! I was worried for him, of course. He shouldn't have risked coming all the way to our camp, particularly on his own as he was, but I can't say I wasn't happy to see him.

We went 'fishing' together. I'd never tried it before, but in the end it was far more fun than I ever thought I'd have here. Also, he has wings! One Orderite wing and one Oblivionite wing. I'd never seen a thing like it. We also talked for some time. It's strange...usually I find it so difficult to carry on a conversation. Even with Ara, sometimes I find myself at a loss — though I am better with her than most — but with Casseth, it feels almost effortless. He's so carefree and happy, just being around him relaxes me. I miss him the instant we part, and have to wonder if that's more than a bit strange...

Regardless, I'm thrilled to have made a new friend, and regret that our stay on Aisko won't be longer. And to think, when we arrived I was practically counting the days til we returned!

Sincerely,
Lithian Bhardvaris

 

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

The Story of a Boy (And A Girl, and Another Boy)

Dear Journal,

I've never been so confused about so many things in my life at once.

Well, perhaps that is a lie, but it feels as though it's true. The more I met with Casseth, the harder it was for me to concentrate or think about anything but when we might have more time together again. I felt ridiculous about it to begin with, but now I may have ruined everything up to this point. I feel as though [several of writing are scratched out and illegible]

I do not know where to begin. Perhaps I ought best start with saying that I finally spoke with Ara about some of my basic confusions regarding my interactions with Casseth. I never told her it was him, of course, but perhaps that is the worst part: when I didn't specify, she assumed I was interested in a girl. Just the thought that this could be anything like [more smudged out lettering and illegibility]

It can't be right. I think we must have had some form of miscommunication on that front. Worse, though, was not that, but what happened on our walk as we were talking. Three jabrvins attacked us out of nowhere, and that we could have handled, but then Casseth arrived. He helped us fight, risking his life and probably saving us, but of course, Ara did not react well. After the beasts were defeated, it was all I could do to keep them from attacking each other.

I ended up having to tell Casseth to leave. I fear I may never see him again now. The look on his face...

I can't describe it, but it hurt beyond words to think that I had made him feel so betrayed after he risked himself for us, and after all the positive experiences we've had together already. I wish there were some way I could earn his forgiveness. I hope only for a chance to apologize.

Sincerely,
Lithian Bhardvaris

 

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

If I Never Knew You

Dear Journal,

I said my goodbyes to Casseth. Myself and my classmates are on the ship headed home as I write this, and I still find myself surprised in turns that things managed to end as well as they did. I feared for the worst, but in retrospect I cannot imagine having parted on better terms. I hope to see him again, though I do not guess the fates will bring us together again nearly soon enough. In the meantime, I will have to devote myself ever harder to my studies as a means of distraction.

Sincerely,
Lithian Bhardvaris

 

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

These Things Long Awaited

Dear Journal,

Nearly six months have passed since I first met with the hybrid boy, Casseth, on the ice continent of Aisko. As quickly as we seemed to bond at the time, I must admit my mind's refusal to forget him, reluctance to even stop missing him after so long apart, abashed me to some extent. We had only known each other for perhaps the span of a week, and yet it felt as though the fates wanted us to be friends. Thinking that, however, did not help to make me any less anxious when the circumstances finally aligned for us to see each other again.

You understand, then, how relieved I was that he seemed as happy to see me again as I him. Casseth chose the gaili clan, my family clan, and already seems quite adept with it! He took me just out of the city's bounds so that he could show it off and we could speak in the privacy of each other's company. I can only hope that we will have more opportunities to see each other before we part ways again.

Sincerely,
Lithian Bhardvaris

 

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Casseth Fidele's Overzealous Guide to Murdering Hair

Dear Journal,

I must admit something here. Something that perhaps—no, that I am sure I still cannot possibly fully understand. Perhaps I never will. I have always known that my family's opinions are different. Today, however, it came to my attention that although I have always understood on some level the fact of hybrid prejudice, banishment, and shame, it is something I feel I perpetually underestimated. It was something easy for me to ignore, or not understand, because I never had to experience it, and it is easy to feel a good person for coming from the family I did, where such things are not looked down upon as absolute abomination. But there are so many levels between that and true tolerance, and so many between tolerance, and acceptance, and between acceptance and love as another living, intelligent creature.

It pains me to think of what Casseth goes through. It pains me to see it even when I know all I see - all I can possibly see - is a scratch on the surface like a tiny blot of stain atop a wood carving that is slowly being rotted from the core with an invisible poison. I do not have the words to describe it properly, and I know that whatever anger and frustration I feel, it is still only second hand, weak, and filtered down compared to what he and others experience. I cannot imagine it, and it hurts.

Sincerely,
Lithian Bhardvaris

 

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

When Sparks Fly

Dear Journal,

Casseth came by earlier than I anticipated him this morning - even interrupted my reading! Not that I can say I mind, particularly. I'm always happy to see him and was frankly glad to get away for a bit. We worked together practicing our magic; I even eventually got to show him my water melding spell, though I must admit my mind still gets a bit lost when I try it - I wonder if that will ever stop...?

Regardless, it was fun to spend time with him, though I did find out he can't swim! I hope he'll let me teach him someday. It seems almost impossible for me to imagine being scared of the water. We also went rock climbing, though I'm not nearly so good at it as he and, to make matters worse, we were attacked midway through. Casseth got thrown out into the ocean, and I had to fetch him...

Another good reason to teach him to swim. I can't imagine what I'd do if something had happened to him. It was bad enough that he hurt his leg. I used the healing water he gifted me to help, but...well, I have some practicing to do, and I'm sure his father now distrusts me more than ever. I hope one day I'll be able to prove myself to him.

Sincerely,
Lithian Bhardvaris

 

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

A Snake in the Mists

Dear Journal,

Iwana got herself in a great bit of trouble. I had to travel to Soudul to fetch her, and she wouldn't so much as let me tell our parents. Well, I suppose it was less a matter of permission and more a matter of begging on her part, but I didn't have the heart to tell her no. When I mentioned it to Ara, she wouldn't let me go alone, and though I felt guilty accepting, I have to admit that I was more than grateful for her company. Soudul is such an eerie place.

Thankfully, we retrieved Iwana without much incident for the worse, though Ara did run into an apparently unfriendly oblivionite? The details confuse me, since she says he saved her life, but seems all around bitter about it. Perhaps it is only her prejudice talking. I still hope that I can one day convince her to think otherwise, particularly when it comes to Casseth. To have my two best friends so at odds in their opinions and attitudes towards each other is...strange. I feel as though I can confide in Ara about most anything, but when it comes to Casseth...

Suffice to say, she rarely wants to hear it. Perhaps, though, eventually, I can help sway her opinions around. I pray for that day.

Sincerely,
Lithian Bhardvaris