Welcome to Gaia! ::

The wind blew like an aiskala’s battle cry, and Lithian tucked his forehead against his knees. He would leave tomorrow in the early light of pre-dawn on a ship bound back for the portal at the maelstrom, making today his last on Aisko for some time. He sat perched on a frost-laden rock in a spot where he had taken to meeting up with Casseth, body curled around himself partially to protect from the chill but also simply because he expected little of his wait.

His last encounter with the boy — his newest friend, and perhaps his newest former friend — had not gone down well, and he fully expected to wait in vain. But he couldn’t help but wait just the same. Part of him needed to try. He wanted desperately to apologize. To somehow explain that he’d only spoken as he had because Casseth’s life and health meant more to him than his emotions in the moment. To depart on a better note than, ‘Leave me.’ Because the last thing he wanted was for Casseth to leave for good.

He’d known him for only a matter of days, but already felt he owed him so much more than his life, and the thought of sailing out without ever having had a chance to mend the wounds he’d torn made his heart hurt in ways he hadn’t known were possible. Perhaps he was melodramatic — thirteen and already thinking he knew what it meant to hurt — but he wanted just the same. Wanted the privilege of saying goodbye. Wanted the opportunity to say, ‘I’m sorry…’ and the courage to say, ‘I hope we meet again soon.’

Touching his fingers to his naked wrist, Lith was reminded again of his conversation with Ara prior to the encounter with the jabrvin, and his stomach knotted anew. What if this was a sign? His punishment somehow? What if—?

Lithian shut his eyes, slamming off his thoughts, and curled tighter against himself. Casseth wouldn’t come, and he had every reason not to. But Lithian felt he owed it to him to wait, and so wait he would.

Lithian blinked, barely believing what he’d heard at first. Seconds after it registered, though, he jerked his head around, and his heart tripped over his own pulse at the sight that greeted him. Not his imagination. Not a figment of his personal whims. But actually, truly—

“Casseth…”

Lithian stumbled to a stand, barely thinking before scrambling over the ice and dashing towards his friend. He slung his arms around Cas, clinging like he might have his sister or brother after a long absence and then clinging some more, body just barely shaking with his relief.

“I’m so sorry,” he blurted in a rush, words pressed half against Cas’ chest and half against his neck. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t want you to leave, you did nothing wrong, you saved us, I just didn’t want you to get hurt, gods I couldn’t deal with the thought of you getting hurt, I’m sorry, I wanted to say something, but if you’d turned back then she might have fought with you, I’m sorry, I’m so glad you came, I wanted to see you, I want to see you again, I’m sorry, Casseth…” He gripped his hands into fists at Cas’ back, eyes squeezing shut. “I’m so sorry…thank you…”

Realizing his positioning, Lithian quickly jerked away at Casseth’s last request, cheeks burning brightly. He slipped his fingers back along his cheek, tucking his hair away from his face in a habitual, nervous gesture. “Sorry, I—I…” He blinked, the rest of Cas’ words sinking in. “It’s alright?”

His eyes darted up to Casseth’s, searching his gaze as though looking for some sign of lingering hurt or insincerity, but — to his immense relief — Cas at least seemed to be speaking in earnest, and Lithian’s tense posture relaxed another fraction, some of the bubbling, breathless feeling of sharing Cas’ presence returning. With it, though, came his embarrassment and uncertainty, and he dipped his eyes, abashed.

“I was…thanking you for showing up. I wanted a chance to say goodbye. And to…” He bit his lip, tongue flicking uncertainly over it before he let it drop free again, making himself meet Cas’ gaze. “And to say I’m looking forward to seeing you again. It…I didn’t want to think about leaving without being able to say those things. Or…even knowing if we were still friends.”

“I know,” Lithian answered. “And I…I am glad you stepped in. You helped us. You might have saved both of us. Ara is just…”

Lithian hesitated, trying to work out how to phrase it aptly without digging too much into private territory. He’d only just recently learned of what precisely had happened to her — the story behind her eyes, that he’d wondered about since the first day he met her — and yet, there was no way to tell it appropriately to Cas in this moment. Thus, after some thinking, he sighed, offering Cas a wan smile.

“Ara has issues with oblivionites. They go…a long ways back, for her, and it’s not something easy for her to overcome. Sometimes, when there isn’t a specific person or even you can put blame on…” He bit at his lip, already hating his own attempt at explanation. “It’s complicated. But I’m glad you helped us. Both of us. Even though I don’t agree with everything she thinks…Araceli has been my friend for a long time, and she’s a good person.”

Lithian bit at his lip before murmuring, “Of course I showed up. And I’m glad you did, too.”

There were plenty of things he could imagine himself saying — talking about how the would explore more when they got the chance, that they’d see each other again, that he was sorry about Ara’s attitude and maybe one day he could sway her opinions — but in that moment, Lithian found himself at a loss for anything more than a smile. They spent their last minutes together talking about small things, wasting the time together and simply enjoying each other’s company.

In the aftermath, after all their time was spent and the creeping approach of sunset forced them to head back towards their respective caretakers, Lithian thought much about what Ara had said. Not about Casseth as an oblivionite and a hybrid, but as a boy. About what his feelings meant and what all that might entail. He had the mental picture of Casseth’s retreating form as they parted ways burned into his mind long after he made it back to camp and curled beneath the sheets on his cot, and he asked himself in detail if Ara could truly be right in full. And, if so, what did that mean.

Did he want to hold hands with Casseth? Be held by him? Kiss him, as boys and girls did?

At the last thought, Lithian’s face lit up, pulse hammering against the inside walls of his chest and he rolled over to bury his face in the cool pillow beneath him. Perhaps, he thought, some time apart would do them good — however little Lith liked the notion to begin with — and perhaps, if he worked hard enough at it, he could make these specific oddities to his feelings leave before they met again. By the time he saw Cas again, he could be normal, and they could be friends without issues.

With that, a simple prayer to Abronaxus, and a promise to himself to make a specific visit to the temple to commune in more detail with his god about the matter later, Lithian fell asleep. In his dream, Casseth didn’t mind when they brushed fingers, or noses, or lips, and Lithian woke with hard evidence that he needed to tend to this issue of his as soon as possible.