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Character: Araceli
Stage: Adept
Luck: 21 (+3)
Creature: Jabrvin Runt x 3
Success Rate: 6 - 100

Win x 3: (58 x 3)/3 = 58

Total: 58exp + 3 LUK, gained 2 levels (lvl 30) with 8 exp left over

Lithian rubbed his wrist.

Eyeing his half-packed, scattered array of belongings, he frowned, released a held breath, and sank to a sit on the edge of his cot. They would be leaving in two days’ time. Though he couldn’t have imagined feeling so upon arrival, Lithian didn’t want to leave. But he wasn’t delusional enough to convince himself it was because he would miss the weather, either.

He traced his thumb over his bare wrist again. The place where his bracelet used to rest. The bracelet now knotted securely around Casseth Fedele’s wrist, and Lithian’s chest filled with a now-familiar giddy, fluttering sensation at the thought of the boy. The same one that took over whenever Casseth smiled, laughed, or — gods help him — simply stood close to him, and Lithian flushed, pulling his hand in towards himself and trying not to think about how soon he would no longer have that contact. How long it might be before he ever saw the boy again. His friend.

Lithian fingered the hem of his tunic, thoughtful. His first friend, Casseth had called him. It seemed obscure, that such a likeable, positive, and spirited boy as Cas had made no friends until him, but perhaps that was the curse of society’s prejudice against hybrid lineage. Though, Lithian supposed, living on a frozen desert at the farthest southern reaches of their world couldn’t help either. He thought of Araceli, the only other long-term friend he’d had to date, and frowned at a passing thought.

Though he’d been friends with Ara for far longer — and certainly was good friends with her at this point — he couldn’t ever remember feeling precisely the way he did about Casseth around her. Happy, naturally, but never…

Lithian rubbed the back of his hand over his warming cheeks, frowning.

Giddy? Breathless for no reason? Torn between wanting to say a thousand things at once and never quite knowing if he could actually remember how to speak at all? And always, as it had been since the night they’d met, wanting to win his attention — impress him, somehow, and leave a lasting, positive impression. He had never felt the need to ‘impress’ Ara, or anyone for that matter, before Cas.

Lithian huffed and stood. Perhaps he could talk to Ara, he reasoned. Not specifically about Cas, of course. Though he’d been furtively sneaking meetings with Cas in since their first, he had yet to tell anyone where or why he was leaving. This had roused Ara’s suspicions in particular, but maybe spending some time with her could ease that.

Decided, Lithian set out from his room, pulling a second thick over-tunic and his winter cloak on before heading out in search of her.

Thankfully, it didn’t take terribly long to spot Ara — walking in from an excursion outside the camp grounds, from the looks of things — and he immediately trotted over. “Ara! There you are, I was…going to go look for you. I was wondering…are you busy? I, er, I wanted to talk to you…about something. Something, um…well, it’s not that important, if you don’t really feel like it, I just…” Lithian breathed out, tugging absently at one of his braids. “If you have a minute, maybe…we could walk and…? If-if you don’t feel like it, it’s fine.”

This was a bad idea.

Lithian relaxed a bit, letting held breath out, and nodded, eagerly following at Ara’s side as they headed out. The wind nipped at his cheeks, bitter cold as per usual, but thankfully not terribly forceful today. Then again, walking with Ara always seemed to make the wind behave subtly better — whether he imagined it or her natural attunement genuinely affected it, he couldn’t tell.

By the time they made it far enough out to speak in private, though, Lithian had lost a significant portion of the nerve he’d gathered up to pose his questions to her. With her right there, suddenly they sounded far more ridiculous in his head, and how was he even supposed to ask when he wasn’t precisely sure what he was asking? Thus, he redirected the potential topic instead.

“So you…said you were looking for me, too?” Lithian asked. “What for? Did you want to talk about something too?”

Lithian’s shoulders dropped a fraction, guilt and uncertainty knotting in his chest, warring with the bubbling anticipation he got at just thinking about seeing Cas again.

He’d heard Ara’s arguments before, of course — both from her and from Ysette, as a number of other acquaintances, Ysette’s friends, some instructors. Not everyone agreed — some went so far as to believe that, ‘cruel’ as they were, oblivionites were the answer to the war, in the end. That they, if anyone, could end it. Lithian had never really had a stance. He listened and nodded, but he’d never encountered any oblivionites previously, so who was he to judge?

Now, however…

Lithian tugged at his own cloak, mimicking Ara’s motion and wrapping his tighter about him. Perhaps Casseth’s father was dangerous, but he certainly hadn’t been cruel, and he hadn’t taken anything as his reward, even when one was openly offered to him. He hadn’t sought Lithian out, hadn’t hurt him, and thus, in the end, had not benefited at all from the encounter in any way as far as Lith could see. In fact, to some extent he had endangered himself and his son to a small degree just by risking traveling that close to a dovaa camp where there could have been people hostile to him and his family.

He’d risked things precious to him to save the life of a stranger. How to pose that to Ara, on the other hand, was another matter entirely, and Lithian found himself at a loss for words.

“I know you don’t trust them,” he murmured. “My sister doesn’t either, and maybe you’re both right about most of them. Maybe they are dangerous, but…I would have died if they hadn’t taken me in. And I’m…thankful that they didn’t let that happen. They sheltered me, and fed me. They tended to my wounds and never laid a hand on me. They didn’t ask for anything, Ara…” He thought of Casseth and flushed. “And they’re capable of smiling, and laughing, and caring about each other, just like we are…” Sighing, he pulled at the hem of his cloak’s hood. “I’ll be careful. I’ll promise you that…”

Lithian stumbled a bit in the snow at the question, startled back out of a mental reverie having mostly to do with Casseth and little to do with what was in front of his feet. “Er, I…” He rubbed at his warming cheeks with the back of his hand, glancing sidelong. “I…suppose I did, yes. It’s, erm…” He drew a breath. “Have you ever had a friend who made you feel…different, somehow, than your other friends? You like them, but…” He frowned, stammering a bit, “…I mean obviously you like all your friends, or they wouldn’t be friends. What I mean is…”

He sighed. This was more difficult than he anticipated.

“They make you feel differently, and do things differently when you’re around them. Your…chest gets excited at the sight of them — sometimes just at the thought of them — you want to please them, to impress them, and you…on one hand you always want to talk to them, say something, anything, but at the same time sometimes it feels like as soon as they’re there with you, you’ve forgotten how to talk. You can’t stop thinking about them…”

His flush darkened and he plucked at his hood, abashed.

“I’m sorry, I’m strange…maybe it doesn’t make any sense.”

Her.

Lithian’s mind raced, tripping over itself. This was it? This was what Syrikk felt for girls? This was why he got so ridiculously excited, couldn’t stop talking, couldn’t stop thinking, couldn’t—

This was what Lithian was supposed to feel. For girls.

Lithian’s gut knotted, panic locking his throat tight so that for a long moment he felt he couldn’t breathe, let alone talk. Everything Ara said sounded exactly like what he felt, but it couldn’t be right…could it? Was it possible to feel this way about—?

Lithian cut his thought process short. It couldn’t be right. Something was wrong. Either with him or just in general, but when he remembered Ara was waiting for an answer, Lithian’s cheeks burned. She assumed with such confidence that he felt this for a girl. It should have been a girl.

‘Something is wrong with me…’

He laughed, an awkward, stuttered sound and cleared his throat. “I…I don’t think I can. Tell…her.” His face burned like a furnace as he pushed the last word out. It felt impossibly strange, to already be pretending. “I…don’t think she’d appreciate it. And my parents…”

Lithian’s shoulders dipped, stomach roiling again. What would his parents think if they—?

No.

He wouldn’t tell them. He would fix it first. He would find a girl who made him feel this way, and he would make things right and everything would be fine. It would pass. He just liked Casseth, that was all. It was nothing to panic over.

Lithian swallowed. “It couldn’t work. But…” He glanced up to Ara, smiling sheepishly. “Thanks for talking with me anyway, I…” He dipped his eyes. “I appreciate it. Having someone who’ll listen.”