So I want to hear your thoughts on polygamy

[Taeryyn]

This goes for everyone: If someone keeps addressing you after you've asked them to stop, or after a crew member has asked them to stop, contact a crew-member. Do not respond to them.

I don't enjoy deleting posts, but I also don't like seeing the thread devolve into an angry personal argument.  

[Esiris]

Purple Robot King

I'm not claiming that it would lead to any greater conflict, just that it would lead to increased legal complexity. And I'm not saying it's unworkable or immoral, just problematic from a legal standpoint. Looking at it objectively that's just a simple statement of fact. It could still work, it just requires rather complex logistical planning in comparison with the relatively simple alterations necessary to allow gay marriage.

I don't see it as a statement of fact because of how complex and complicated other legal arrangements already are.  

[Esiris]

lilla muchi

willing to allow it to make you happy even though it most likely makes them unhappy.

As one of her partners, I can honestly say I am not unhappy- please do not try and speak for how I feel.  

[lilla muchi]

Esiris

lilla muchi

willing to allow it to make you happy even though it most likely makes them unhappy.

As one of her partners, I can honestly say I am not unhappy- please do not try and speak for how I feel.

this subject was already approached by the guild master and been dropped. do not comment back or take bit and pieces of what i said and try to continue this arguement. [Content removed by crew-member: This isn't the place for a slur.] now leave me alone  

[shares_stomach_acid]

Personally, I could never handle that kind of relationship, I'm to selfish of a lover really. But that doesn't mean that other people can't have that kind of relationship. And it's totally possible to love more then one person, just look at people who's spouse may have died, and then they found someone else. In this case it just so happens that they found both partners at the same time. And as long as everyone is consenting adults, then I have absolutely no problem with it.  

[Esiris]

shares_stomach_acid

Personally, I could never handle that kind of relationship, I'm to selfish of a lover really. But that doesn't mean that other people can't have that kind of relationship. And it's totally possible to love more then one person, just look at people who's spouse may have died, and then they found someone else. In this case it just so happens that they found both partners at the same time. And as long as everyone is consenting adults, then I have absolutely no problem with it.

There's a thing called serial monogamy which really is closer to serial monoamory- the idea is that true monoamory/monogamy would mean that in your whole life you only ever had one love/partner/spouse. I really don't know anyone like that- not that it's impossible, it's just so rare people consider serial monoamory to be the norm and shorten it to monoamory/monogamy.  

[Blackrose_Knight]

Esiris

There's a thing called serial monogamy which really is closer to serial monoamory- the idea is that true monoamory/monogamy would mean that in your whole life you only ever had one love/partner/spouse. I really don't know anyone like that- not that it's impossible, it's just so rare people consider serial monoamory to be the norm and shorten it to monoamory/monogamy.

I think my grandparents fall under the more strict version of monogamy. I know my grandmother fell head over heels with my grandfather when she went and toured her college of choice when she was a high school senior. She waited for him, he waited for her - they dated until both graduated then got married. I think it is sweet emotion_bigheart . Though with today's interconnections via the internets and cell phones I think serial monogamy is far more... common. This isn't backwater West Virgina like it was for my grandparents.

shares_stomach_acid

Personally, I could never handle that kind of relationship, I'm to selfish of a lover really. But that doesn't mean that other people can't have that kind of relationship. And it's totally possible to love more then one person, just look at people who's spouse may have died, and then they found someone else. In this case it just so happens that they found both partners at the same time. And as long as everyone is consenting adults, then I have absolutely no problem with it.

I actually used to say the same thing."Oh, ya know I can't handle it, I am too jealous and needy." Really. It was several mental gear shifts that lead me to understand I can and do love more than one person. My biggest shift was that I had been madly in love with my high school sweetheart - he cheated on me and broke my heart to shards. Several years later I met my now husband but I still loved my high school sweetheart. That "v8" moment hit me really hard, I can and do love more than one person. Out of that breaking point in my life (my high school sweetheart busting my heart to shards) came the foundation for THE reason why I am THE happiest I have ever been. That is also the reason I get huffy when I am accused of cheating. Sorry, I have been there, I have done that and I have had my heart destroyed by the careless acts of another. I am not EVER going to do that to anyone.  

[Esiris]

Blackrose_Knight

I think my grandparents fall under the more strict version of monogamy. I know my grandmother fell head over heels with my grandfather when she went and toured her college of choice when she was a high school senior. She waited for him, he waited for her - they dated until both graduated then got married. I think it is sweet emotion_bigheart . Though with today's interconnections via the internets and cell phones I think serial monogamy is far more... common. This isn't backwater West Virgina like it was for my grandparents.

Annette was almost like that. cat_ninja

I think the thing that bothers me most about the anti-poly rhetoric is how familiar it is.
All those accusations about being unfaithful and stuff were used to keep interracial marriage illegal for so long. Same with the stereotypes about gays being uncommitted. I guess bigotry just never sits well with me- and the fact it is a source of so much cross-marginalization in the LGBT community is really disheartening.  

[Lady Kayura]

I find it a little ironic to see such hostility over this topic, people saying how wrong it is. The irony being a lot of us are LGBT and we're told that being such is wrong and horrible.

For me, dating/marrying one person is enough work for me. Though I'm surprised so many people haven't been in love with multiple people at once. I find that a little sad. I love many people in many ways and I think it'd be a sad thing to try to limit that.  

[WalrusCokeheadLizard]

I don't see a problem with it as long as you're honest with whoever you are about it. It would be worse for you to get bored in a relationship and decide to cheat on a person and break their heart  

[Blackrose_Knight]

Esiris

Annette was almost like that. cat_ninja

And I think your love story is very sweet too ya know emotion_bigheart . It makes my heart go emotion_kirakira . Then I am a sucker for romantic stories and happenings.

Esiris

I think the thing that bothers me most about the anti-poly rhetoric is how familiar it is.
All those accusations about being unfaithful and stuff were used to keep interracial marriage illegal for so long. Same with the stereotypes about gays being uncommitted. I guess bigotry just never sits well with me- and the fact it is a source of so much cross-marginalization in the LGBT community is really disheartening.

I know the feel. emotion_hug  

[Esiris]

WalrusCokeheadLizard

I don't see a problem with it as long as you're honest with whoever you are about it. It would be worse for you to get bored in a relationship and decide to cheat on a person and break their heart

I don't think being poly keeps people from cheating- it has the same pitfalls that being mono has and poly people can still cheat on their partners. cat_3nodding

Our relationships can take as much or as little work as any mono couple- and that means that people can fall into ruts and stuff too.