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 Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:19 pm
For the first few blocks, Irene wasn’t paying attention to where she was going. She bumped into a couple of people, who gave her accusing looks until they realized what she was wearing and quickly moved along. It wasn’t until she was climbing into a window that she realized she hadn’t returned to the Crystal Academy dorms, but instead had instinctively run home. No matter how loudly she asserted her independence, or how long she had wanted to live someplace else, this was still the place she went when things went horribly wrong. Her heels made soft clicking sounds against the marble floor as she walked, dazed, through the living room and upstairs to her room. The lights were off in the house; her father was away on business, as usual, and her mother generally went to bed early. The only one awake was Mariposa, who started barking as soon as Irene went upstairs, and didn’t stop until Irene caught the small dog in her arms and shushed her.
“It’s just me,” she whispered, but Mariposa was not convinced. Irene took her into her bathroom and shut the door. Mari’s nails caused a clattering sound on the tile floor that was punctuated by the louder sounds of her heels. In the large mirror she could see herself, looking tired and worn but otherwise okay. She looked like herself, as far as she could tell, but she knew that Mari wouldn’t see her that way, so she powered down, setting her henshin pen on the edge of the sink where the little dog wouldn’t be able to reach it. In addition to being loud, Mari had a knack for sinking her teeth into what she wasn’t supposed to, like the mailman’s pants or her mother’s new shoes. The pen was probably dog-resistant, but there was no point taking chances. She knelt down and let her dog sniff her hands, which were now ungloved and starting to hurt. “There. See? Just me.”
Mariposa sniffed Lydia’s feet, but seemed unconvinced as she trotted off and curled up on a discarded towel. Lydia looked in the mirror again. She looked even more tired than she had as Irene, and her uniform’s short sleeves revealed bruises on her lower arms. It was a good thing that her mother hadn’t seen that, or she’d be locked away in her room at best. At worst, she might be mistaken for the victim of a mugging or domestic abuse, when the truth was as far from that as it could possibly be. She would never be able to explain that she was the assailant rather than the victim. Shivering a bit, she hugged herself tightly. “It’s okay. You were doing what needed to be done.”
Or was she? As she turned on the taps and let the bathtub fill itself, her thoughts drifted back to her actions of the past few days. Her intentions had been good, of that she was certain. She had wanted to improve herself, to become a better fighter and a better senshi. That had to be a positive thing. She was willing to put in hard work in order to get there, which was also a positive thing. Lydia had never been afraid of working towards her goals, and when she was determined, she could block almost everything else out. Until now she had considered that a good trait to have. If improving herself had been her only goal, things might have turned out okay. Or they might have still gotten jumbled and confused and turned into a mess. There was no way to tell for sure.
In addition to wanting to improve, Irene had also wanted to prove herself, and that was where she had gotten into trouble. It was a selfish goal that had no real merits. Being admired for one’s abilities was always nice, but it was never required, at least, not of people who were secure in their abilities. Her confidence had turned into cockiness, and she had been convinced that as long as she was given the chance to show what she could do, everything would solve itself. That alone was proof that her cockiness wasn’t confidence at all, but instead was distracting her from the fact that she had no confidence. This whole time she hadn’t been trying to prove her worth to anybody but herself, and the results had been disastrous. She had refused help, tried to show up her allies, and even...
Lydia looked at her hands, curling and uncurling her fingers. They were fairly small, with slender fingers. Her mother had given her piano lessons for a while until realizing that a girl who couldn’t sit still might be better off doing something more active, like dancing. They were artist’s hands, not fighter’s hands. Yet it was these very hands that had grabbed Ellie by the throat, determined to make her stop speaking by any means necessary. She knew exactly how it felt to have her airway blocked off, to desperately want to breathe and yet be unable to, to be afraid that she might never be able to take a breath again. If she hadn’t stopped herself in time, what would have happened? How could she have let herself do that to someone she truly cared about, even if she had been upset and confused at the time? There was no excuse for that, and she wasn’t going to compound her mistakes by trying to come up with one.
The bath was almost full, and Lydia took off her uniform, folding each piece as it was removed. Her jacket and blouse were left on top of the hamper, socks went inside, skirt was draped over the towel rod so it wouldn’t crease in places she didn’t want it to. When she went to turn off the faucet she caught a glance of herself in the mirror and winced at what she saw. The arms had been bad enough, but her entire torso was dappled with bruises and scratches. Her abdomen was a dark purple blob that almost blended in with her hair, except for the sickly yellow around the edges. Her knees were scraped raw, and there was a long slash on her left thigh, a thin red line against the faded pink spots from the fight at Christmas. She didn’t even recognize herself anymore, physically or mentally. How had being Sailor Irene driven her to this? When did she start becoming somebody she wasn’t?
Looking in the mirror was painful, so she turned back to the bath instead, easing into it with a sigh of relief. The warm water did wonders for her aching joints and bruised flesh. The comfort only went skin deep, though, since her thoughts stayed muddled and uncertain. If her motives were good, how had her actions gotten so bad? Why hadn’t she seen it sooner? And most importantly, how was she ever going to fix it? The more she thought about it, the more she became convinced that there was no way to repair things, no matter what she might try. The thought was even more painful than her wounds, and overwhelmed whatever comfort the bath had given her.
Slowly Lydia lowered herself in the bath, dipping her head under the warm water. Her chest tightened; holding her breath had always been a challenge, but she stayed under while she undid her braids. Even when she’d thoroughly soaked her hair, she stayed under. Maybe the best solution was to stay like this. Nothing was harming her there. More importantly, she couldn’t harm anyone there, except herself. And she deserved to be punished for her actions. What better punishment for trying to suffocate someone than to deprive herself of air?
As soon as she realized what she was thinking, she lurched upwards, breaking the surface of the water and taking several deep breaths in a row. She had never thought herself suicidal. Then again, she had never thought herself a murderer either. If nothing else, being a senshi was teaching her that she knew nothing about herself. She clearly didn’t have the control or self-awareness that she liked to think she had. If she did, her body wouldn’t run off doing things without her mind’s permission, or vice versa. If she was ever going to improve herself, she would have to figure out what she had and what she didn’t, without the window dressing and polite words that she usually used to give her confidence a boost. Being confident had gotten her into this mess, and she didn’t trust it to get her out. Not running unchecked like it had been before.
And then? Once she figured out what she had, she needed to figure out what she wanted. Was becoming a better fighter really her goal, even though she didn’t enjoy it? Even though she hated what the quest for power had done to her? Lydia wasn’t sure. What she did know was that she couldn’t let herself fight again, not until she was positive that she could do so without losing herself, and everyone she cared about, in the process. Not until she reclaimed the person she was from the person she had let herself become.
Lydia stood up and looked at herself in the mirror one more time. She was soaking wet, and her eyes squinted as she blinked the water away. Her hair hung in a curtain almost to her knees, and strands clung to her back and sides. From a distance she looked like someone else entirely. For this exercise, that was a good thing. She addressed the mirror in a soft but firm tone. “You are not allowed to be the enemy,” she told it. “Not the enemy of those I care about, and not my enemy either. I do not need to suffer to succeed. Nobody needs to suffer. Power is not worth that price.” She would not be like that corrupted senshi, willing to pay anything for power. Other things were more important. Her family, her friends, her self-respect. “You will not act without knowing what you are doing and why. Not now. Not ever.”
Her reflection held her gaze until she let herself sink back into the bathtub, her message delivered. Whether it was true remained to be seen. She finished her bath quickly and wrapped herself in a fluffy pink bathrobe, sliding her feet into matching slippers, and wrapping her hair in a special super absorbent towel. It was too late to go back to her dorm, not that she really wanted to make such a trip right then. Still dripping, she shuffled down to the kitchen, Mariposa following close behind, and left her mother a note about coming in late after not feeling well. She would get all kinds of questions in the morning about that, but it was a small price to pay for feeling safe at home when she desperately needed to.
That was unfair, she told herself as she climbed into bed, not even bothering to change out of the robe into her pajamas. She wasn’t the one who needed to be safe. Others needed to be safe from her. “But if you don’t feel safe, you won’t act in a calm and thoughtful manner.” While she still hadn’t gotten over the feeling of needing to be punished, she stopped actively trying to do it herself. If someone saw fit to punish her, she would accept that. It was not her place to make that call. The only thing she could do was keep herself from ever behaving in that way again, lest she be responsible for hurting someone else she held dear.
How would she do that? Lydia had no idea, but as she curled up to go to sleep and Mariposa curled up beside her, she smiled. For now, she was at least sure that she had caught herself before going too far down the dangerous road she had been treading. She would not let herself walk down an unknown path again. Even if it meant staying still forever.
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Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:21 pm
Animated Elegance[Lydia + Caitlin] And now for something completely different: let's talk anime!
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Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:22 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:23 pm
This time, Irene managed to make it back to her dorm instead of running home with her metaphorical tail between her legs. Sneaking in and out of Crystal Academy was easy now, though it was one of the senshi skills that she had hated developing. Sneaking around wasn’t her style. She much preferred being upfront about these things, but she knew that being upfront about her secret life was a terrible idea.
So she could recognize at least some terrible ideas immediately. Irene eased her door open, grateful that she didn’t have a roommate. It made dorming feel terribly lonely sometimes, but it saved her the trouble of explaining things to someone else. Now the only explanation she owed was to herself, over what exactly she thought she had been doing out there. Going out was a terrible idea considering she had promised herself that she wouldn’t fight. Now she was sore all over, and she had broken her promise, proving to herself that she had no self control.
The door shut behind Irene and she leaned against it, finally releasing her transformation. Lydia sank to the floor, trying to keep herself from crying. “I tried,” she sniffled, needing to talk out what had happened. “I didn’t want to fight, but he wouldn’t stop.” Which didn’t mean that she had to fight him. She had been doing well at fending him off for a while, but the insults made her snap. “He was hurting me.” Not just physically, though her shoulder still throbbed and she knew she had several new bruises forming. He was hurting her emotionally, an easy task when she was already feeling fragile. She could deal with the bruises, but when he had attacked her character, she knew she had to do something.
Was it wrong to defend herself from an enemy? Certainly not! This was the sort of thing that Iris had been training her for. This was, she assumed, the reason that she was a senshi. But if that was the case, why did it feel wrong? “Because you promised you wouldn’t,” she whispered harshly. That was part of it. She had broken a promise to herself, and that hurt more than his insults or punches. There was more, though. Now that her vision had cleared somewhat, she knew that she had hated fighting him even as she did it, just like she hated sparring. Fighting another person was just really, really unpleasant.
“Well, too bad.” Lydia wiped her eyes on the edge of the robe hanging on the back of her door. “That’s what your job is- to fight bad guys. You just need to figure out how to do it without... hurting... anyone.” She giggled derisively. How was she supposed to manage that? She would ask *********, if she wasn’t afraid of what the cat would tell her. She would ask Iris, if she wasn’t totally ashamed of what happened the last time they met. The other Asteroids were off-limits for the same reason- surely, they knew what she had done, and they probably all hated her. Somehow she would make things up to them, all of them, but she knew that she needed to find her answer first, or she would go on inflicting pain and feeling it herself.
How could she a be a senshi without anyone getting hurt? If there was a way, Lydia had to find it, and she had to find it alone.
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Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:24 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:26 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:25 pm
It's All Greek to Me[Lydia + Evelyn] Lydia provides language instruction (and snacks), while Evie provides recon (and drinks).
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Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:28 pm
Gains and Losses[Irene + ********* + Psyche] Irene's language skills are put to use, and she learns a little more about the side-effects of purification from the new member of the Asteroids, Sailor Psyche.
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Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:31 pm
By the time she got back to Crystal Academy, Lydia was exhausted. Not that she’d done anything particularly physically exerting. Sure, she’d helped carry Ellie home, and Ellie was much taller than she was, but she hadn’t done that alone. Psyche- or rather, Anemone- had done most of the work. All she’d had to do was help support her and translate ********* directions into Greek. In fact, most of her work that night had been translation and explanation. It was not a typical outing for Sailor Irene, that was for sure.
Lydia sat down on her bed and rested her head in her hands as she recapped the night in her head. They had a new team member: Sailor Psyche (Super Sailor Psyche to be exact), who had once been the corrupt senshi called Nickeline. Irene had crossed paths with her once, and the two had shared an odd, and not entirely cordial, conversation. And then Nickeline had cut off her air supply, bringing their meeting to a swift end. Her feelings about the corrupt senshi had been complicated. Nickeline had seemed genuinely unhappy with the Negaverse, despite the power that she had been granted. Still, that was no excuse to be rude and violent. Was it? Was that what being involved with the Negaverse brought a person to?
And then there was the purification itself. Lydia still didn’t really know what had happened with that. ********* had said that Nickeline was assigned to kill *********, but couldn’t, and then... what? Ellie had somehow “fixed” Psyche’s starseed, but there was still a gap that was unaccounted for. What had stopped Nickeline from fulfilling her task? What had convinced Ellie to attempt something like purification? Which, considering how it completely knocked her out, was apparently more involved than she’d realized. She hoped Ellie would be okay soon, though there was a part of her that was relieved not to have to face her captain right then, after what had happened between them only a couple of months ago.
So, something happened, which made Nickeline vanish and Psyche appear. Nickeline had had friends, family, a name. Psyche had none of these things. The price of purification was higher than any of them had expected. Would Psyche truly be happy, having lost everything she held dear? Or, not remembering any of it, would it even matter to her? Lydia couldn’t even begin to speculate. Her limited conversation with the girl she had dubbed “Anemone” left her feelings as mixed up and confused as they had been after she had met Nickeline. They felt like the same person, but Anemone was so lost, so confused. And little wonder. Lydia was confused, and she still had all of her memories intact.
She was also not a thief, but Anemone couldn’t grasp that yet, either. Lydia let out a soft “hmph!” and lay back on the bed, not bothering to take her uniform off. Considering the maelstrom of disconnected thoughts running through her head, she doubted she would fall asleep anytime soon. Briefly, she wondered if Anemone had managed to get to sleep, or...
Eyes wide open, Lydia jolted upright and tugged angrily on one of her braids. “Why did I leave her alone with ********* and Ellie? They can’t even talk to each other!”
Because she had a curfew, she supposed. Because Crystal Academy was no place to hide an amnesiac fugitive from chaos. Because her parents would ask too many questions if she tried to take Anemone home, questions that Lydia didn’t have an answer for right then. The situation was just bad, and confusing, and she didn’t like it.
But there was a silver lining to it all, she supposed: in a way, Sailor Psyche had finally come home.
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Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:34 pm
Finish Your Pi[Lydia + Yvette + Zia + Everyone] Lydia joins Yvette for impromptu pi. Or rather, pie.
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Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 8:52 pm
This was it: the big day had arrived. For a moment, Lydia wondered if it was the most important day of her life thus far. That idea was quickly dismissed; the day she had met ********* and Iris had to be the one with the most far-reaching effects, and Sailor Irene had a few noteworthy days as well, not all of them good ones. But if she was setting her senshi life aside, then this was quite possibly the most important day of her life thus far, and she was determined to get it right.
Her attire reflected the gravity of the situation, or at least it attempted to. Wearing her uniform to something like this felt like a faux pas, so she’d changed after class before making the trip over. Her chosen outfit consisted of a brightly-colored cotton huipil, worn in place of a blouse under a slightly more subdued dirndl. A contrasting krama was draped loosely around her neck, and she had foregone stockings, instead slipping her feet into a pair of well-worn balghra with subtle embroidery. Her hair was worn in its usual style, but instead of the ribbons she used most of the time, she’d fixed her braids up with abalone combs that glittered in the light. The total effect looked slightly more put-together than Lydia’s usual closet raids, which in her mind looked absolutely fabulous.
It probably would have looked slightly better if she didn’t keep crossing and uncrossing her legs, or adjusting her clothing, or checking the time. Staying still was hard. Lydia had a lot invested in this, and while she was confident that she could make it work, she wasn’t completely convinced that she would. A lot of things could go wrong unless she approached it just right.
“Lydia?” A woman called from the back office, and Lydia shot out of her seat. The coman covered a smile with her hand. “We’re ready to begin if you are.”
“I’m ready! Very ready!” Lydia nearly tripped over her feet in her haste to follow, and was quite relieved that nobody saw her do that. The room she was led into was more sparsely decorated than the area she had waited in, but she could still see touches that the owners had chosen, so the festive atmosphere was still present, at least for her. That was comforting, and as she took a seat on one side of the desk, she nodded at a mask hanging on the wall. “Was that from your recent trip to Zimbabwe, Miss Marion?”
The woman, Marion, took a seat at the other side of the desk. “Actually, we got that in Namibia. It’s surprisingly difficult to find tribal art from the country you’re currently in.” She reached to her husband, Robert, who was standing behind her. He handed her a sheaf of papers that Lydia recognized as her application, and she began to tense up. “I must admit I was surprised when I received this application, but pleasantly so. You’re one of our best customers, Lydia. Could you tell me why you want to work here?”
They were starting with the easy questions, which Lydia had no problem with. “Because I love the environment that the two of you have created here. That’s probably obvious, considering how often I dine here, but that’s not enough for me anymore. The vision you have for Maize Maizier is wonderful, and something I believe in strongly. I want to help make it reality- not just by being a patron, but by working to help bring the world to other people.”
“It’s easy to see that you’re very passionate about this cause,” Marion said, still grinning. “Passion is one of the most important things you can bring to your work, and so I’m glad to see that you have it in spades.”
Robert tapped a blank area of the topmost form, and Lydia winced. “May we assume by the lack of references that this would be your first job?”
Lydia nodded, not wanting to get bogged down in her lack of experience. This was where she had to accentuate the positive. “However, my grades show that I have the work ethic needed to get things done. And while I don’t have any experience in foodservice, I am well-read on many of the cultures you present here. I am prepared to talk with customers about all of the countries that show up on the menu, and know basic, useful phrases in all languages commonly used here. I am also more than willing to expand my studies and add more phrases, or more languages, should they become necessary.”
Marion looked at Robert and laughed. “She’s got you there, old boy.”
“Yes, you definitely have skills that would help you- and us- were you to work here,” Robert said calmly, ignoring Marion’s teasing. “But do you really realize what it means to shift from being a customer to being a member of staff? The experience you get won’t be the same. You won’t be able to sit back and enjoy performances or presentations. You won’t be able to call it a day when you get tired. You’ll have to deal with people you won’t like, with a smile. Do you really think you’re ready to take that step?”
This was it- the question she had known would be coming. Lydia took a deep breath before answering. “With all due respect, sir, if I wanted the experience to be the same, I wouldn’t have applied for a job here. I love what I get as a customer, but as I said, I want to be a part of it in a more meaningful way. I want to be responsible for piquing someone’s interest about the art of Ethiopia, or Tahitian cuisine. I’m willing to work hard to accomplish that. As for dealing with people I don’t like- that’s part of life. I’ll have to do it whether I work here or not. So why not deal with them while doing something I love to do?”
There was silence for a few moments after Lydia finished, and she wondered if she had missed anything. Or maybe she hadn’t been persuasive enough. Or they bought into the thought that she was just some little rich girl who was getting in over her head. If that was it, she would just die-
“That’s all we needed to hear.” Robert stood up straight again and placed the application into a filing cabinet behind the desk. Marion was absolutely beaming.
Lydia, caught off guard, wasn’t sure what to think. “Does that mean... forgive me, but what exactly does that mean?”
“That means,” Robert replied, “that as your first duty, you can go to the front window and take down the ‘Help Wanted’ sign. Then, when you come back, we can work out the details.” He walked around to the front of the desk and offered his hand, having finally cracked a smile. “Welcome aboard, Lydia.”
It took every ounce of Lydia’s will to keep from squealing in delight right then and there. Instead, she shook Robert’s hand, and then Marion’s, trying to keep calm and professional. “Thank you very much, sir, ma’am! I promise I won’t let you down.”
She sped out of the room, and Marion touched Robert lightly on the arm. “I think she’ll do just fine.”
A wild shriek came from the front of the restaurant, and both of them laughed. “It’s certainly going to be more lively around here,” Robert said, placing his hand over Marion’s. “I think we’re in for some interesting times, my dear. But then, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Neither would I,” Marion agreed.
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Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 8:54 pm
Break it Down[Lydia + Howl] While learning the ropes at Maize Maizier, Lydia gets some on-the-job training from a coworker.
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Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 8:56 pm
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Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 8:57 pm
Training Day [Attn: Order][Irene + ********* + Sessrumnir + Zia + Many] Irene attends a training day organized by Maia, and others. It does not go the way she expected it to.
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Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 8:58 pm
Before you go[Irene + Ida] After one round of sparring, Irene and her next opponent are both ready to call it a night, but exchange some advice first.
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