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Tea Time With Kian

Sleepover!

Kian's family comes over from tea. Kian stays the night. There is fighting. And kissing.

True Colors

As the heir to the throne of Ex'Di'Ne, Narin had the right, if not the expectation, of attending all meetings of the queen and her congress. He attended all that he could, deliberately presenting him as a figure to be recognized by the Ex' lords*, the Di' senators* and Ne' representatives*. It was not enough that his people should love him, they needed to admire and respect him, to look to him for logic and leadership. It was not the way of his people to look to anyone but the current ruler.

But it was happening.

As his mother snapped at a Ne' with concerns about the war effort, he could feel the man looking toward him hopefully, could feel the eyes of others, as they waited for him to voice one of his reputedly well thought out and moderate opinions. Could he reign her in? Never. But he had no desire to do so. While he ached for his people, he knew he looked most favorable when held in contrast. And it was not (yet) time.

"Surely, my Queen, the draft has been especially difficult on our Ne' populous. And are they not our backbone? If we continue to drain them of their sons, then all will starve." He spoke mildly, doing little more than restating the man's words with a bit more polish.

"It is not not be considered! We limit the draft and then what? Who will fight?" She was in rare form to day, pacing and restless. He smiled at her, an indolent smile calculated to only increase her rage. She did not like him, much. Had not, for a very long time.

Oh, but her dislike was such a faint and faded thing when held against the hatred he bore her.

Anger made her foolish, and she was not by nature a stupid woman. "Would you, my son? Shall I send you in their stead?"

Beautiful.

"If you recall, my Queen, as I'm sure general Ex'Varkiden will, I have offered myself repeatedly to your war." He lowered his eyes for a breath, but only to raise them again, his gaze landing squarely on the seating held by the Di' and Ne', those who'd lost the most. "I too, am one of your subjects, and fully prepared to fight and fall at your command."

Stupid witch.

"Don't be an idiot." Snappish now. Shrewish. "It is not a matter to be discussed."

Oh, but mother, you brought it up. But he kept his mouth shut, his head bowed in mock humility.

And then with his lowered gaze fixed on his hands, he watched the ring on his finger turn from red to black, until it disappeared against his skin.

Esuth.

But could it--? Yes. There was no other reason.

He stood abruptly, awkwardly, earning the confused and concerned gazes of hundreds.

And walked out, only just keeping himself from running. Di'Meska, just behind him, stood as well, and he could almost hear her, explaining that he had just received a message from the mages on the field. An injured comrade...

No matter.

"Esuth... Esuth, you're there? I was starting to think... I was afraid..." He ran through winding hallways, his confused guard behind him, until he reached on of the doors to his private chambers, and slammed the door in their faces.

"Narin." And it wasn't his voice, it wasn't but he'd known that. Known to expect the changes. Still it was him. It was him, at last. As he'd known it would be. And now, now it would all be okay again. He would take the kingdom, and he would bring his lover back.


*Words chosen as decent equivalents to actual terminology

Holes

He took the ring off, then slid it back on his finger. But this time, there was no magical color change. No, he knew the magic of his world. The ring had no doubt run out of energy. It would not work again. That had been it. That had been it, his only chance to talk to him.

So he had yelled at him, and pouted like a child.

Of course he had.

He hadn't imagined their reunion like that. He...

hadn't imagined their reunion. Not seriously. That's what banished meant.

There was no mirror in his room, not anymore. No image to break.

His mind fought in circles. He was not two people, not Di'Esuth and Autsu, but only Autsu, the continuation of Di'Esuth. Yet here he was, now feeling like three.

He was Di', and as a Di' he was loyal to his lord. His Prince had said he was to return. Why would he argue? He had sworn himself into service and he would make good on those oaths.

He was Esuth, and as Esuth he could not forgive himself the pain in his love's voice. Narin had said he needed him. And didn't he need Narin? He had no desire to suffer this life alone, and certainly had no desire to leave Narin to suffer. He would return, because he could not imagine doing anything else. Because he wanted to return to the arms of the man he loved.

And yet... and yet he was Autsu. He was Kniene's son, raised to believe in equality, in openess. He was Sethos's brother, taught to study and think instead of listen and accept. He was... he was Kian's ally, and they were working to make things better here.

Here.

There.

Would any of them understand if he left?

Narin would never understand if he stayed. It wasn't, Narin said, even a choice.

His Prince. His perfect Prince.

His family. His friend.

But did any of them need him, like Narin did?

And then, a thought, traitorous and sudden. They all treated him better than Narin did.

And he was so angry, as angry as he was confused. Angry because he was confused.

He had to lash out, and there was nothing to attack.

His fist hurt.

There was a hole in the wall.

Oh.

He couldn't fix the wall. He couldn't fix himself. He couldn't fix the world, either of them.

And he was so tired of thinking. Almost as tired as he was of obeying.

If nothing else, he could put another hole in the wall.

He did a surprisingly good job of that.

Autsu's Journal

(Gaian Language is in italics. The rest is in Autsu's native tongue. As usual *** indicate words that can not be translated.)

I do not know what has happened.

Forget it. ********. I didn't think and now I don't even know if I'm screwed. I don't know anything ******** care for him. I do. My ****. As is said, I wait fearlessly, his sword to my thorat. But he isn't my Prince. Can't be. Won't ever be.

And Narin will take me back. Has said as much. And am I to go? Do I drool like a dog at my master's feet?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

It is what I am.

My soul his shield. I can't let it go.

But Anne. Oh, Ally. I would be your sword as I am Narin's shield. Let me take the world for you. ******** need him.

And he wants me.

I will not turn my face away.

"We'll need thirty-two, My Prince." Di'Meska was sitting crosslegged in the sand beside the placid garden pond, skipping stones and so interrupting it's mirror like quality with tiny rings of chaos.

Nari was pacing. He thought better when he was moving. He didn't like magic. He didn't understand it, didn't understand how mages did what they did. But he needed them.

"It's too many." He stated, irritated. "Tell Ex'Cilca that they'll have to do with less."

"It didn't seem like he was king so much. Portals were frequently used for travel.

"We already have, My Prince. And he can't. He's not even sure it'll work. You want a port across space without a key or a mage on the other side. It's never been done."

"He has the ring." Narin didn't know why they argued like this. They both knew all the words. He had to talk to someone.

"And it barely has a signature now it's been used."

"Di'Meska." He stopped pacing, rested his hand on one of the great trees that shaded them. "I don't have thirty-two mages."

"Six, My Prince. You have six."

Mages were uniformly Ex, and it was there that Narin had made the least headway. The Ex were content with tradition, ready to await his mother's death. It might be a century yet. More.

"But it can be done. If I had enough, it could be done." He stated, his fingers digging into the tree's soft bark. "I can't do this much longer, Di'Meska, I'm going mad."

"You aren't." She replied. But there was something in her voice that he thought might be hesitance.

"He's waiting for me." Esuth's voice when they'd spoken had been wounded, confused. Narin knew he had to get back to him. Comfort him, explain. It would all be better once they were together again.

"Then we can't wait anymore?" Di'Meska made it a question, but barely. Were he not the Prince, she would have stated it as fact.

"No, no we can't."

Di'Meska had been weaving together blades of long grass as they spoke. Now she stood, the delicate green wreath in her hands. She set it gently on Narin's head, then sank to her knees, lowering her face to the dirt.

"Then you must call your generals, My King."

Lakeside Musings

No Fear of Fruit

This is Halloween