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 Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 1:44 pm
*man takes a knee in front of Emperor Ceaser*
Sir, it's just been announced that your name actually came from a type of SALAD! YOU HAVE NO HONOR! *stab*
Uhh.... God. The worst news that could be given to God.
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Posted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 1:32 pm
(the Murry show) *Jesus and God are sitting near each other across from Murry* *Murry looks in envelop* Murry: And God.... you are not the father! elmo 
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Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:39 pm
I would not mind if the world were to end... ...As long as we were the ones who burned it down
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Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:53 pm
D=
Ok, I'll just say one then.
Ummm.... an Orthodontist!
o.o
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Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 8:04 pm
Oprah just told everyone to strive for perfect dental health! You now have no patients.
A Game Show Host
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 10:37 am
Producers of The Price is Right: Well, Drew, it seems we are so behind on our taxes that all the donated prizes for the next 3 years goes straight to the IRS. So we'll be giving away your personal belongings instead.
Ummmm...a bee keeper. o.o
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Posted: Fri May 29, 2009 8:13 pm
"Well, gee, boss. I didn't know Pooh was gonna take all of it...
He's just so darned cute," the assistant says.
*Pooh emerges from behind the ransacked beehive, soaked in honey and holding up an AK47 pointed at the bee keeper and his idiotic assistant*
"More...honey...," Pooh manages to stutter through his stupor.
Um... a Country Music Singer?
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Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 7:05 am
Crewman:"I'm sorry to say this Jack, but that monkey's a better pirate than you are."
Jack:"Oh bugger."
The President.
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Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 8:54 pm
"Sir, I'm afraid you're being sued by the world-wide organization of flies."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Do you recall the incident in the television interview...?"
"*smoker-cough* Oh, s**t. Guess I should have left him alone, huh?"
"At least given him a proper burial. Which reminds me; PETA hates you now, too."
"o-o Book me the next flight home."
"You are home, sir. This is Washington. *check's Obama's temperature*"
"No, you idiot. I meant Kenya."
~~
Uh - A Dog Catcher.
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Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 9:46 am
"Hmm, now where's that house at?"
*Pulls into a driveway. Sees a boy out side and walks up to him.*
"Um, excuse me. Is this the residence of a golden retriever named Ol-"
*The boy pulls a trigger on a gun. A golden retriever instantly falls to the ground.*
*Man backs away slowly.* "Um, well, I guess that saves a spot in the kennel."
Oprah Winfrey x3
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I_am_no_Savior Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 12:09 am
Harpo investor:I'm sorry Oprah but there appears that this weeks gift the...killer whale has been cancelled due to indangermet
Oprah:Oh no what will be give the audience??
Harpo investor:Well I Have an idea
Oprah:What is it?
Harpo investor: Well...
-During the program-
Oprah: And now I will be giving out all you a brand new box of...tissues!!
Audiences: Ah %&$* no
-forms angry mob who fling the paper clips at Oprah on live television-
((a karate instructor))
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 4:08 pm
Karate Instructor:As I told all of you if you beat me you get all your money back...-to class- Ok billy give me your best shot. -chuckle chuckle-
Billy: Um...ok...-suddenly does a front snap with the heel to his chin- -Mr. karate gets thrown 10 ft backwards and slams into the wall behind him-
Um does this mean I win...?
karate master: Yah...here!-limps away, bleeding-
((Harry potter fan))
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I_am_no_Savior Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:44 pm
Harry potter fan opens his mailbox and receives a letter to go to Hogwarts at the cost of four thousand dollars
Harry potter fan sells every thing he owns to get the tuition and then a limo pulls up and drops him off at a ship which cost him all his bank account along with his parents
He charges credit card and is found in London to be locked in a closet of an owl pecking "Harry potter above there head
(( warboarder))
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Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 5:37 pm
Newscaster:"World peace has been established! There is no more need for war!"
Grindy:"F***!"
*...At least, I'm guessing that's what he'd say. I bet it would probably be funnier if he does it.*
A Lawyer. (This should be fun...)
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