| How long have you been playing? |
| 10+ years |
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9% |
[ 51 ] |
| 5+ years |
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49% |
[ 269 ] |
| 1 - 4 years |
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38% |
[ 207 ] |
| Since ...uh...well, about five minutes ago if that counts... |
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2% |
[ 14 ] |
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| Total Votes : 541 |
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 Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 4:49 pm
I play bass guitar in my school band and, for whatever reason, when we arrange for our concert the amp we're assigned is usually nowhere near our assigned seat, so everyone has to plug everyone else in. The girl who sits beside me has a guy do it for her and after she's tuned and plugged in she'll look at him and go, "turn me on" and he'll slide his hand up her leg.
I wasn't there when it started, but the first concert I saw it had, it had me laughing so hard I missed the first few measures.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:10 pm
peach_zelda hey flutes: when in doubt, pull out -------------------- she was a flute player. i was a saxophone. you know how that goes~ seriously. idk if it's all bands or if it's just ours, but our flute girls tend to gravitate towards sax boys...idk why. Oh, the same thing happens in our band. And there's only three saxes, two boys and me, and 6 flutes. They're always around...
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:46 pm
lefeverbaby I read this one somewhere A girl in the band gets set up on a few blind dates with fellow bandmates. First she goes on a date with a trumpet player. When she gets back, her friend asks how it goes. She replies "Well his lips were really tight, so the kissing wasn't that greaat. I dont think i like him to much" Then she gets set up with a tuba player. When she returns, the friend asks how it went. She replies "His mouth was very wide open and totally slobbery. I dont think I like him" So she goes on a final date with a French horn player. When she returns, once again, the friend asks how it went. SHe replied "well the kissing was ok, but i really loved the way he held me" XD LOL Very nice.... (I'm a horn player) You see, the horns are the smart ones... we know it's not all about the kiss, it's the whole scenario XP
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 7:39 pm
blow harder and tongue faster.
I am told this constantly because I play too softly and usually forget to tongue it but it just sounds so dirty and I usually have to keep in my laugh everytime my BD says it to me.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 9:15 pm
Did you hear about the drummer than finished high school? Me neither.
((jk I love percussion!!! ><))
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:49 pm
there was this one time that the b.d. told one of the clarinets to looka t him even though he doesn't have his instument because he was talking to one of the drummers. he says " Why would I do that? " and he replies. " Cause I'm interesting! " lmao. the band burst into laughter. xd xd xd xd xd xp xp xp
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Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:54 pm
Our uniforms have this little hook on it that is almost impossible to see so usually we have someone else do it for us. I normal saying to get someone to do that is, " YOU! Be my hooker!" xD Makes me smile.
Also when we name our instruments we tend to name them of the opposite gender...I mean unless you want to blow/bang your gender (wich I guess you might) but most of our band doesn't. Mines name is Juppie and yes it's a guy flute as funny as that seems. xD
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Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:19 pm
I used to be a sexyphone, but before my boyfriend went to college, his boning legacy rubbed off on me. wink
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Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 8:36 pm
God, low brass (my section) is a perv section, basically. And we can't go like 5 minutes without making a sex joke.
I mean, we make it as subtle as possible.
BUt one time I was sitting down playing and no one was looking and a guy flipped his d**k out and stuck it in my bell while I was playing and he was like "Yeah! E-flat!"
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Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 8:38 pm
Oh and one of my best friends, Becca who is drum major/guard/awesome at flute/ wanting to switch to baritone, was like moving my slide back and forth and i was like "Ahhh! Yeah!"
then I emptied my spit valve and I was like "Yeah. Look at that. All you."
And she was like "Yeah just like last night too" and like the band got quiet and I was like "OH yeah."
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Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:42 pm
there's so much sexual innuendo in our band its not even funny.
especially in low brass.
we were getting yelled at for blaring when we played.
so our BD was like "if we're in regular marching band, you can just blow your guts out on that thing!"
and then he was talking to the clarinets. and he was like
"if you're a 4th grader and i just gave you your first clarinet, you can move your fingers however you want!"
looooow brass.
best.and.greatest.section.ever.
competition band '08!
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Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:30 pm
Bassoons: They blow on big wood.
umm... that is all I can think of right now...
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Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:41 pm
 I know I already posted, but I realized it's really hard to NOT make sex jokes in band.
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Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 9:03 pm
You gotta admit that "OMG THIS ONE TIME AT BAND CAMP...!" is twice as funny if something ACTUALLY happened at band camp. whee
speaking of American Pie, I lol whenever I see a piccolo, because apparently it can be mistaken for a d***o. xd
The first time I met my freshman friend Matt we were at band camp, and I was just learning to play tuba. I compared it to his barrie sax and I was like "haha, MINE'S BIGGER." rofl It's like our thing now.
and I hold my tuba so that it presses against my pelvic area, and one time I was just standing there and I started randomly playing the keys, and it made my tuba vibrate against my you-know-where a bit and I was like "WOA that feels good." 4laugh It was awfulll!
And this one time my bf was like WHATTTT!?! when I was talking about a FINGERING chart. blaugh
Oh and sometimes if I'm in one of my moods I'll take a phallic-looking instrument or a colorguard flag pole or something, walk up to friends and be like BEND OVER.
There are probably many I'm forgetting.
During nearly every band class, someone cracks a somehow related sexual innuendo. whee
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Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 9:04 pm
The Pimp Mobile I know I already posted, but I realized it's really hard to NOT make sex jokes in band. Yes, exactly. mrgreen
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