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 Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:43 am
.[directory].
o1. Directory
o2. A New Direction - Reflection
o3. Like Christmas - PRP with RuiZhi
o4. Grudge Match - PRP with Micajah
o5. Photo Shoot - Crack Moment
o6. Battle of Wills - CRP with Ardy
o7. A Helping Hand - PRP with Dante
o8. Closer Kin - PRP with More
o9. Girlfriend - QRP with Greg
1o. Breaking News - Letter from Home
11. Ouch - Reflection on the Letter
12. Disturbance in the Force - Dream
13. Demon Angel - PRP with Nash
14. Nighttime Visiting - Dream
15. Nightmare - PRP with RuiZhi and Norman
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:15 am
.[who i am hates who ive been].
Yudsksdf.
Yeah.
I don’t…I don’t even know where to start.
I feel…I feel…
I’m so angry.
Why am I so angry?
I hate, hate, hate Nat. I don’t even know why. Oh sure, he’s a stupid p***k, but this…I hate him with all the passion of ten thousand white suns. What is this? What is this
I should be happy. I really should. I got into the School of Science and Technology. My cat’s fine. I moved in with my boyfriend. I dunno, that all sounds good, in theory. And yet. And yet? I can hardly make myself smile. (Well, maybe unless I’m with RuiZhi. I’m pretty happy then.) I’m just scowling and bitter and…
…where did this come from?
I’m hitting people.
WHO THE ******** AM I?
Where did I go?
…I just…I don’t know.
Why am I so angry?
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:20 am
.[we were all in love].
I like RuiZhi. Quite a bit, really. I am glad that I asked him out. I'm not sure, really, how I worked up the courage. Or how I ignored everything else, every single prejudice, to do it. We're both boys. He's a human. I'm a demon. And even if I wasn't we're two entirely different nationalities. I'm a punk. He's a...well, he's a nerd. But I mean that in the most affectionate way possible. It...it doesn't make sense, you know? My father would be most ashamed if he knew I was courting another male. A human male, at that.
And yet.
And yet, and yet, and yet...I cannot bring myself to care. I just can't. RuiZhi Tai. He is an amazing young man. I couldn't really describe it for you. Nor could I describe the way he makes me feel. But that's all that is really important, I think. Maybe I'm too young for this. But, if I'm supposed to save the world, I must be more grown up than most boys my age. I don't usually act my age, for better, or for worse. Whatever.
He gave me a gift. For no reason.
'Together'. We are together.
Here I Am - PRP with RuiZhi
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:38 am
.[say your prayers and stomp it out].
Stupid ******** ran into that punk I met during the fire. The one with a big mouth. Didn't know when to shut up. His name is Micajah. And we're 'friends'.
Yeah. What the ******** ever.
The kid has balls, though, I'll grant him that. I don't think I know anyone else who dares mouth off to me. Not even Adrian, and we've known each other forever. I mean, my dad talks down to me, but that's something else entirely. That's expected. He's like a commander. But these guys? Peers. All of them. And I will ******** beat the next person who tries to manhandle me or talk down to me or whatever senseless. Senseless!
Or. No.
No, that's not really right. Punching him didn't really make me feel that much better. I mean, there was instant gratification, but it was really pretty hollow. I'm still not sure I want to be friends with him, but I'm done with the grudge, at least. Oh, this is bull s**t. I don't want to be a violent person. My father is a violent person, and fine, maybe it's in the blood to be a little rougher than humans, but...
...I'm not that human for not wanting to be quite was violent as him, right?
I'll have to keep an eye on that. And Micajah. If anyone is going to bring out the mean streak, it's that boy and his sharp tongue.
...he's much, much too clever.
I'll Take You On - PRP with Micajah
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Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 8:27 pm
.[...i feel pretty, oh so pretty].
...I don't wanna talk about it.
Herei, that crazy b*****d. Had some sort of cross-dress day. I don't look awesome in a skirt. I don't recommend it. I'm never ding it again. Ever. I don't care who declares what day. It's just not for me. Also, warred with Weiyuan over it. I totally make a prettier girl than he does, even if I refuse to wear heels.
....wait.
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Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 4:56 pm
.[you can't take me].
What a b*****d.
Thinks he knows everything. Doesn't even know how to run his own damn department, fe. It caught on fire, didn't it? Did he save it? No! That was all More, no thanks to any of us. Especially him. Bah. I think there should be a new head of science.
At least I won't have to see too much of him. Going into technology and what not. I think that's Professor Larine. Haven't met him yet, but I know who he is. So, yeah. Gotta work on technology and weaponry and stuff. At least now I know not to shoot myself in the foot.
...that was a total waste of my life. God.
Lab Saftey - CRP with Professor Veilwood
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Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 5:04 pm
.[little child of the west wind].
I think I might be starting to understand Professor Dante. I like him. He's like me, though in only the smallest of ways. He's an elf, and I'm a demon. There is a big difference there. But, we are both not human. And, it's practically something to bond over these days. But he actually understands what I'm talking about and...it's nice. He's really not so bad. I know I didn't really like him at first...but he's not so bad.
I feel like...
...
...well. Very. At home.
I'll never repeat that. EVER. Between you and me, and even then, I might have to scribble that out. (That would make a horrible mess with all the ink, though.) Anyways. Dante has two pet birds. They look like they make much better pets than Banish. Damn cat. He's such a pain to take care of, you know. But I digress.
Dante gave me a book. Why am I excited? (I mean, seriously. Me n' books were never friends before.) Because it's about dark magic. My kind of magic. My father never taught me anything about a demon's magic. Never even so much as mentioned it. Up until recently, I wasn't even sure if I had any. (I do, I assure you.) I went to Dante hoping he could help me, but he's an elf (I should have thought that more through,) so he gave me the book.
...I am very happy. Today went well.
A Tentative Brush of Wills - PRP with Dante
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Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 5:09 pm
.[brothers under the sun].
So More's a teacher now, huh? Yeah, who would have thunk it. But I guess it makes sense. More saved the school, and he always did seem kinda older than me. But the idea of having a friend-turned-teacher? It speaks to me, man. It speaks to me. I've done him a few favors, and while I usually don't like to call those in, unless I absolutely have to. But seriously, do you think I could convince him to get me out of class every now and again? (Especially where that stupid Veilwood's concerned.)
Oh. Totally told More I was a demon. Was trying to get him to confess to being the same, but to no avail. Besides, he doesn't have the ears. So, I guess he's probably telling the truth when he denies being a demon (and I was so hopeful), but there's no way that guy is human. So what does it make him?
I guess that's what we'd call the 'million-dollar question'.
My Neck of the Woods - PRP with More
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Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 4:09 pm
.[is he sweet?].
I had to help Greg deliver some flowers. I'm not even sure who they were for. I mean, there are not a lot of girls at the school, not at all...but like, who am I to judge, right? Just because he's a general doesn't mean. Yeah. You know where I'm going with that. Yeah, you do.
Anyways. I thought it was kind of funny he was this great war General and stuff and he couldn't even give flowers to a girl. Or a guy. Worst thing they could do is not accept them, you know? Not the end of the world. But, whatever. I walked with him and talked and I think we got more distracted than we should have, because we never actually dropped off the flowers or anything. (Maybe that was the point? Tricky.)
Whatever. I look forward to meeting him again.
They're Just Flowers - QRP with Greg (2 points)
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Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 7:44 pm
.[unbalanced].
A Letter From Home Scyeth, It has come to my attention that you were not made aware of a very important situation during your last visit. Adrian seems to have ‘forgotten’ to inform you. (He will be severely punished; I do not care if he is your favorite, do not try to plea his case.) I am getting married in the coming month. No, you do not know my bride. Quite frankly, I think you are too old for the matter of you ‘liking’ her to really matter. She will not be raising you, for the most part, so your opinion in the matter doesn’t really count. …you will, however, be expected to address her as ‘Mother’. I expect nothing less than respect from you. She is a demon, Scyeth, so don’t get your feathers too ruffled. I will be monitoring Adrian’s e-mails, phone calls, ect. Do not even attempt to cause a commotion at this event. It is very important for me, politically. That being said, I should tell you, you will not be sent for. Based on your most recent activities, I have a list, I cannot trust you will be on your best behavior. (If you need reminding, please consider the following: your terrible grades, your inappropriate hair-cutting, and ear-piercing (don’t think I don’t know), and finally, your boyfriend. Yes. I know. I also know his…he’s a human Scyeth. What were you thinking?) I expect you to write your new mother soon. Before this month is up, or I will send one of the guards. (And it won’t be Adrian.) Adsunth
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 5:37 am
.[can you hear me now?].
I…what?
What is this?
Is this some sort of joke? Like, seriously? I don’t even know what to say. He’s getting married? My dad is getting married? Seriously, first of all, he’s not good with people. I mean, he is, but that’s politics. It’s his job to get along and make nice with people. But it doesn’t mean he actually likes then. And trust me on this one, my father doesn’t like people. I’m his son, I would know. He doesn’t even like me. But. That’s a different story entirely. It proves the point, though. If he can hold his grudge against me, he can hold one against anyone.
…he still blames me for killing my mother.
Because, you know, I obviously meant to do that. Since newborns are wicked capable of that sort of plot.
And, I guess I was always kind of okay with that. Because that means he must have kinda loved my mom, at the very least. To miss her. And be able to dislike me for…how old am I? Sixteen and a half years. Yeah. I don’t even remember having a normal conversation with him. Oh sure, we talk. But it’s like ‘how are you?’ ‘good, you?’ ‘good, how’s school?’ ‘oh, you know.’ ‘ah.’ And that’s that. He doesn’t care if I had friends or not. Which, I’d like to point out, I didn’t really have that many of. He didn’t care about what I did in school or what I learned, as long as I was good at it.
It’s strange, in retrospect. I was always trying to be someone he could be proud of. For a while. And he never noticed. Tossed me a bone every now and then to make sure I was still with him. And then I gave up. Gave him the big ‘******** you’. Hung around with punks. Didn’t do my schoolwork. I mean, I passed. That was it. And then he noticed. He noticed me, all right. Man, he was so angry. We actually had a fight. Does that even count as a conversation? I guess you might be able to call it that.
…he’s getting married.
My father doesn’t give a s**t about me. He said my opinion doesn’t matter. WHAT KIND OF FATHER TELLS HIS SON HE DOESN’T MATTER!?
I’m just. I’m just.
Stunned.
I don’t even know what to say.
It hurts. I will never admit it out loud. I will never admit it again. But I think I can finally, honestly claim my father does not love me. He does not care my opinion on his bride. He does not care that I haven’t even seen a picture, never mind met her. He does not care it might bother me to call her ‘mother’. Which I absolutely refuse to do, for the record. What’s he going to do? I’m never going to met her.
I’m personally uninvited from my father’s wedding.
Yeah.
Just. Yeah.
There’s not much else that can be said.
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 5:38 am
.[the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had].
“Scyeth.”
“Father.”
“I thought I told you not to come.”
“You did.”
“Don’t you know what uninvited means?”
“I should hope so.”
“Why are you here?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why are you here?”
“I feel like I should be.”
“Not good enough.”
“Something important is going to happen.”
“Obviously. Use your wit, boy, I know you can do better than that.”
“I don’t mean the wedding. That’s happened.”
“Then you know?”
“Know what?”
“Did he tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Scyeth, you are no longer my-”
“Father!? FATHER!? FATHER!”
Scyeth woke with a start, blue eyes blurry in the dark. What was that? What was that? The teen shivered, suddenly freezing despite the fact it was the middle of summer and he was sharing his bed. The student blinked once, twice, and rubbed his eyes, trying to ignore the persistent trembling. It was just a bad dream. Quite frankly, he couldn’t remember anything beyond voices. He shouldn’t be spooked so easily.
The blond pushed a hand through his hair and looked at the other student sleeping next to him.
He really shouldn’t be spooked so easily.
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:04 am
.[how can the world want me to change?].
Met a really weird kid today. He totally thought I was a bully. (I'm not denying it.) I got his milkshake though (the dude had four!), so it was worth it. We talked about dads. His dad walked out on him and his mom. He has issues with his mom. It's like the reverse. My mom died, and I have issues with my dad. He says he wishes his mom was dead. But he has no idea what it's like.
Still. I talked about my dad and he survived. Kudos, kid. (I think his name is Nash.)
Then we talked about girls. I brought him to the bookstore- that's where all the girls hang out. I tried to teach him how to put the moves on, but he didn't really get it. He kept asking my own girlfriend. RuiZhi. It took him a little while to figure out RuiZhi is a guy. I mean, how dense can he be.
HEY. I'M NOT GAY.
Just to get the record straight.
Angel-devil and the Beast - PRP with Nash
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:58 am
.[don't judge a thing 'til you know what's inside it].
“You’re back.”
“What?”
“You’re here, again.”
“…ah ha.”
“Why do you keep visiting?”
“What are you talking about?”
“We’ve met every day for a week, now. Something must be troubling you.”
“If it was, you would not be my first choice for comfort, I assure ou.”
“You keep coming anyways. What are you looking for?”
“Nothing? I don’t know.”
“Answers.”
“No.”
“Acceptance.”
“No.”
“Love.”
“No!”
“Forgiveness.”
“I’ve done nothing to be forgiven for!”
“You want my forgiveness.”
“No!”
“You crave it. It’s taking over your thoughts. You can’t concentrate on schoolwork. You can’t hang out with your ‘friends’. You can’t even mess around at that foolish skateboard and waste away your time.”
“What? No!”
“You’re stuck.”
“I am not!”
“It all you can think about.”
“That’s not true!”
“Don’t lie. I know it’s true. You wouldn’t come here if it wasn’t true.”
“Shut up!”
“You want to be forgiven. You want to be forgiven for killing my beautiful bride. Stealing away a life, your own mother’s life.”
“Shut up!”
“You killed her.”
“SHUT UP!”
“I can never forgive you.”
“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!”
“Why are you here?”
“…”
“Why are you here? I won’t forgive you.”
“Something is going to happen.”
“What is going to happen?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then how can you be so sure?”
“I can feel it. Something is going to change.”
“I won’t-”
“Father? Father!? FATHER! No! No, no, no, I”
Scyeth jolted awake, throat hoarse and body trembling violently. He was covered in a cold sweat, feeling like he had just run a marathon. So tired, and so awake. It felt as though every one of his senses were on high alarm. Another nightmare, and still, all he could remember was the voices. Voices. Why did he keep hearing voices? Did the letter really bother him that much? He didn’t care. Scyeth was positive he didn’t care.
He couldn’t care, because there was really very little he could do about all this.
The blond rolled over and carefully stepped out of bed, doing his best not to jostle the boy sleeping beside him. He didn’t really feel like explaining himself to RuiZhi right now. He wasn’t sure he could even find words to match how he felt. Scyeth groaned and pushed shaking hands through his hair. Oh, for Luna’s sake, couldn’t he just stop shaking? The teen padded across the room, nearly across when he crumpled to the floor.
When Scyeth awoke a few minutes later, he concluded he really needed to do something about this.
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Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:37 am
.[let's go back, back to the beginning]. [[The page is littered with dried tear marks.]]Everything Feels Just Like the Movies - PRP with Norman and RuiZhi
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