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 Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:53 pm
My favorite author EVER!
You don't know how much this means to me. She MADE fantasy for me.
-LD
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Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:07 pm
Oh....Wow...I didn't know. That's great! She must be a big inspiration for you to talk with her.
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Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:08 pm
Yeah, she's like...well, kind of like a goddess to me. Way larger than life.
-LD
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Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:22 pm
o_o Really? What did you guys talk about?
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Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:29 pm
Well, it started out half worship and half advice about achy hands and a beautiful thing called aloe, and then became a conversation about cats and my poem about my cat, and now it's about memories and remembering, despite the pain, and the irony of today with the tree (you'd understand if you read her newest trilogy).
-LD
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Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:38 pm
Well I'll have to check them out then wont I. She sounds like a great person. The only person that I have ever talked to, that's famous, is Robbie from The Vincent Black Shadow. lol
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Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:40 pm
Who's that?
And yeah, totally. First book is Assassin's Apprentice. It's pretty amazing.
-LD
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Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:47 pm
It's a band that I really like. I found them on myspace and though a lot of the time it isn't really the actual band I was surprised that it was really them. They recently canceled a tour and I was kind of down about it, but I talked to the band member Robbie and I feel better n_n
I just read the summary for the first one and I like it. As soon as I can I want to go and pick it up. That sounds like a great story.
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:17 am
Please feel free to not read this... I just need to rant.
I don't understand why people seem to care so much about what other people think. Its like you can't be who you are, because if you're even the slightest bit different, no one will like you, and you'll have no friends... But people who are your friend should accept you for who you are, and what you are, despite your flaws, and your differences. Acquaintances and co-workers are a completely different story... You have to see those people all the time, so you need to present yourself in a manner that doesn't offend them, and keeps any enmity from occurring... But those people, their opinions? If they don't like you, they can go to hell. They don't even know you very well anyways, in most cases, and they don't have to accept you and who you are... Mainly because neither of you really want to be at work in the first place.
The truth is, you have to get to know people before you can be truthful, especially if you have to deal with them every day... But once you know someone you can be a d**k and point out their flaws... Who knows? You might help them become a better person. And if so, bonus, but if not, it doesn't change things. Friends are friends, flaws included. People as a whole are assholes. Individuals are different. Individuals you can get to know, you can see who they really are... A lot of people don't realize when they show their true colors... And that's when you see the beauty, thats when you realize who your friends are, and who to drop like a hot potato.
A lot of people, they don't wear their hearts on their sleeves like I do... What you see is generally what you get, and I don't sugarcoat myself for the world. I am who I am, take it or leave it. But people don't understand the concept behind how I work, and how I can be so unabashedly true to who I am, and what I am... And a lot of people are scared by me. Its always been like that. It was a lot worse when I was a kid, because children are judgmental to a fault, and parents generally teach them to not accept what they don't understand, and reject free thought and freer actions. But adults can make their own decisions, and choose to try and understand the things that once might have turned them away. Adults have the freedom to take what they can get from those who are different, and use alternative thinking as a means of bettering themselves...
Which is something children have no concept of. It all comes back to the false concept of "normality." Once a person can shed the concept of there being a set norm, they can start to see how everyone is different, and what is normal for someone might be completely insane to someone else, or completely unknown to yet another. The only thing that is normal is the fact that everyone is different, and everyone thinks and reacts, are raised, and do things differently.
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:16 am
Ever consider that they do wear their hearts on their sleeves and they just don't care enough to consider your feelings?
And really, you really think that you can't be truthful before you get to know someone? That would mean you're lying to them, and they'd be lying to you, thus, neither of you would even be getting to know one another. You get to know people by being truthful, not stone walling your way into their lives.
A lot of your ranting is really hypocritical, I fear you seem to be suffering from perfect world syndrome. You want friendship, but honesty, even painful honesty, but all people are assholes, but they should like you despite your flaws, yet you want complete honesty? So it seems to me you can't really deal with duplicitous people, which is kind of sad because you come off as a pretty strong willed person. Most people wouldn't be surprised if I told them I've cut a good half dozen people out of my life who were good friends to me and likewise to them. Friendship isn't something that lasts forever, people seem to think it does. People change, for better and worse, it happens, deal with it, no one's perfect.
Normalcy is what keeps the world spinning, why do you think they lock people away who are different? Even depressed people aren't safe, even NORMAL people aren't safe. I knew a girl who got locked away for three days because one of her ex-friends, she told her student councillor she was going to commit suicide and the police dragged her off to the psyche ward in the local hospital.
I hate to rag on your ranting but some things just need to be thought out better. You live in a world that changes everyday, people fool themselves into believing that being normal is the right and true thing, which I believe it is, you can be normal and individual at the same time, but you seem like the kind of person who will tell someone off if they cross you where most would just let it go. You aren't going to have any friends with an attitude like that and maybe being alone is for you, it isn't for me, I need my friends. If people don't understand you then explain it to them, don't be an idiot and stonewall your emotions then claim to be open like a book because you obviously aren't. You're making a lot of uneducated claims and its really making you look like a flippant ranter, which is what you set out to do by posting this.
I think what you need to understand is that being nice to people and conforming every now and then will warm people to you faster than being blatantly honest about every little thing. If all you do is b***h then I wouldn't want to be friends with you, I've axed two friends because of that fact alone. Remember, honesty is not synonymous with kindness, nor does being honest mean people should respect you or like you for your faults.
the Lion
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:44 am
Off topic: my friend's boss told me I had a "sweet, pretty mouth", and the way he said it reminded me of this. *shudder* sad ((In the clip the tall guy (Brendon) just announced his engagement to the blonde girl (Miranda)'s sister (Kerry). It's this creepy, stalker made-for-TV movie, ya'll should check it out, the whole thing's on YouTube.))
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:42 pm
Lion, I have friends. I have Emo, Mosienko, Minion, Jayram, Casper, Twiggy, Alicia, Holly, Ayla, Andrew, Marc... And we're all honest with each other about ourselves and each other. And none of us could be closer than we are, because of that honesty, and because of we're willing to tell each other how much of an a*****e or idiot or whining little b***h they're being. Mosienko's a b***h and a half, but I love him like a brother, and he knows it. Casper's a ******** d**k when he drinks, but I've known him half my life, and I love him dearly, and he knows what I think of him, too. And I know what they think of me.
When I said you didn't have to be truthful when getting to know someone, I didn't mean you could lie to them. I just meant you have the right to hold certain things back until you're a little more sure about whether or not a person can handle it. Like I would never have told Marc I was bisexual right off the bat, because I had no idea how he'd have reacted, but Ayla and Mosienko I told right off the bat because a) I saw Mosienko kissing Casper pretty much within hours of my meeting him, and b) Ayla is friends with Minion, who is gay. But to tell some random person at work that I once did it with a chick in the bathroom of the Metro Toronto Convention Center after an anime convention? That would freak people out. There are things you do need to keep to yourself, and while its not exactly lying, its not being truthful either.
Mostly that rant was brought on because of Michael, who really managed to piss me off last night. See, Mike doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve. He keeps it in a box locked under his bed. And he says and does things that, frankly, I find to be absolutely insane. He told me he's got a crush on me after I said I was dirty dancing with two hot chicks at the bar the night before, and how I wished I had gotten the one girls number! Then he told me not to tell anyone, as if somehow liking me was a big crime or that by allowing others to know he liked me, he was opening himself up to ridicule. My co-workers love me, they've become my friends, and I've become more open at work. Everyone loves me, even the little 60 year old woman who's always grumpy. I don't hide anything anymore, hell, I went into work yesterday and Janet told me I looked "like a dirty hippy" and gave me a hug.
Anyways, I wrote that at like 2 am after a long day at work, so I see a lot of problems with what I was saying now that I've read it over. I posted that at like 3 am, I wasn't even able to light a cigarette at that point. So I'm sorry it doesn't technically make sense.
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:46 pm
I kinda had the idea that it was written at a late hour, I tend to talk nonsense and get my story twisted around every time I start a new sentence.
I do get what you mean now about now divulging everything, I was almost 100% sure that's what you meant to say but I felt more like jumping the gun. You're right though, I mean I'd never meet someone then tell them I spent most of a school day sitting in a tub giving myself reasons to cut myself to pieces. That s**t you tell people in close conversation since that sort of thing can get locked up, like AKON! Hah... yeah, I shouldn't joke about that, happened to me once... I'll never go back to a hospital, even if I'm shot, I don't trust those people anymore.
I never you said you didn't have any friends, what I meant was if you just keep openly stabbing at them with truth you will end up driving them away. I do the same thing with my friends, but I give them the decency to hold quiet when it comes to touchy subjects. Not saying you don't, but I do.
Anywho, today's been pretty boring, I hate school readings, they never seem to end!!! AHCK! And why do they have to be so boring, sorry but when a book literally makes me fall asleep I got issues with it. Gah, oh well, at least reading week is in 2 days. Then a party on the 15th! Wooh!
Its time for dinner...
the Lion
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 3:39 pm
Yeah, I understand that....
And, well, both of you know how I feel where honesty is concerned....
-Andrew
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:54 pm
All I'm going to say, Lion, is that you don't know my friends... I was never so brutally honest with anyone until I met the people who are essentially the loves of my life, and my saving grace. When I saw how honest they were with each other, I started to become more and more open with exactly how I felt at any given moment. And that's one of the main reasons we all love each other; because we can be that honest, and because we are willing to give the most truthful view of a situation in order to help each other out, and because we know we're not doing it to be mean to each other, but to be helpful. Casper never loves me more than when I tell him how I feel, when I tell him he's being a p***k, or when I tell him he's doing something that is going to hurt him. And while at times he might get a little angry at me for saying something, he always take the time later on to apologize if he flipped on me, and to tell me that yes, I was right, and he can see it, and so on.
Hollywood has done that to me on one very special occasion... When I used to cut myself, and she found out, and she was very, very honest about how that made her feel. And I got so angry with her, and so upset, and I stopped talking to her for like two months. But when I finally did realize she was right, and I did stop, and I did go crawling back to her she greeted me with arms wide open and a kiss full on the lips and a congratulations for coming to my senses. And she accepted my apology, and things didn't go back to normal, but got even better, and we were closer than ever for it... And I still thank her silently every night before I go to sleep that she had the honestly and the love to tell me to my face the things that she did tell me when she found the cuts on my upper arms and chest. And every so often I give her the biggest kiss and I say the same thing to her I said the day I apologized. "Thank you so much for saving me from the biggest lie I ever told myself... You'll always be my hero, Hollywood."
So Lion, that honesty, that openness and freedom of speech that I have with my friends is practically the very foundation of our collective relationship. Without that, I think there would be harbored ill will, and hidden animosity that would break apart the group... No single one of us it afraid to speak our minds to each other anymore, and there is no subject that we would ever hold back on, because every subject is important, and every feeling is relevant to us. And if the world could see things the same way my friends and I are able to see the world, and look at honesty with the same reverence and openness we do, I think there would be a lot less hidden hatred, and people would be better able to sort out their messes. But I understand that the world can't be like that, and I understand that people can't look at things the way we do... But understanding doesn't stop it from making me very sad and the fact of it not being true cannot stop me from wishing it could be. Because I am the Eternal Optimist, and I am the Hopeless Romantic, and I am the Goddess of Laughter and Dreams, a title bestowed on my by a teacher in fifth grade.
I need a smoke.
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