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The Grand Kowatzitz would have been insulted by the mechanical man's comments on its appearance did it not find the irony of a humanoform insulting something else's looks devastatingly hilarious. After all, what was uglier than a humanoform?

The Kowatzitz cracked its wrenched arm appendage back into proper alignment and tossed its Prismatic Warhammer back into its proper handthing.

You will regret the challenge, manthing, the Kowatzitz intoned imposingly. Humanoforms are no match for the splendiferity of the Andro-Tobor. It rocked its weight on to its backmost legoid and sprung forward with a light skip, swinging the Warhammer in an arc to swipe the man's chest.

Though slightly off-balance from the swing's momentum, the Grand Kowatzitz whipped the Warhammer back with Toborian reflexes to parry Dozer's fist. Warhammer and fist collided with the force of a small splodysion.

Tailos did as the Tobor, diving gracefully onto the shellinator of the demideity, It. Movement beneath him made keeping a strong grip almost impossible, and the human Federation captain slid this way and that. Even the swaying didn't phase him and it could be said that the Captain was now fully up on the hydra's back.

"Dragonspace?!" he exclamified with needless surprise, glancing at the Tobor General. "Suienheimer, let's call this a truce until the Dirk's back in our true universe!"

On the horizon, unknown to either, lingered the lost star of Vegeta. It could be said that the power levels radiating from it were by far over NINE THOUSAAAAAAND! Cosmic radiatomones would soon bare down heavily upon the pair.

Ignoring the jab to it's knee, the mechanical man stepped even closer to the Kowatzitz, its arms wrapping around it in a mechanical bear hug, pinning the warhammer between the two of them. "You're going to tell me where the crew is being held, or I'm going to slowly break you in half."

"A TRUCE SEEMS MOST IMPRESSIVE, CAPTAIN," the General Derelict said. Getting up on the hydra's back, however, was proving difficult, as It had begun to swing around very unhappily. Exhausted, the General clung for dear Torborality and watched the cosmic radiatomones fall in a beautiful glow of glowtrib. The Tentocrin was only a few feet away -- if he could just continue to let It carry him across Dragonspace, he would be able to make his case before the Gods of the Multiverse.

The Tentocrin was teeming with Gods.

Well, okay, there were eight including It. Most of them were already sure of the reason for the arrival of two unGodly creatures -- the Gods, of course, were largely neuronepathic and could hence sense the movements of the neuronestatic reactions in the body. One of them stood up.

Female in nature, this God was both beautiful and wild. Emma Thompson-like, an Earthling might say. Wiggling dramatically, she began to recite a poem. "You only think you want to return.
Life is a habit with you.
You have not seen what is to come:
We have:
What will the grim Unfolding of these Latter Days bring?
That you or any Being should wish to endure them?
Death moves plenteous than all Heaven has tears to mourn it,
The slow dissolving of the Great Design,
The spiraling apart of the Work of Eternity,
The World and all its beautiful particle logic
All collapsed. All dead, forever,
In starless, moonlorn onyx night.

We are failing, failing,
The Earth and the Angels.
Look up, look up,
It is Not-to-Be Time.
Oh who asks of the Orders Blessing
With Apocalypse Descending?
Who demands: More Life?
When Death like a Protector
Blinds our eyes, shielding from tender nerve
More horror than can be borne.
Let any Being on whom Fortune smiles
Creep away to Death
Before that last dreadful daybreak
When all your ravaging returns to you
With the rising, scorching, unrelenting Sun:
When morning blisters crimson
And bears all life away,
A tidal wave of Protean Fire
That curls around the planet
And bares the Earth clean as bone."

One of the Gods threw something at her and told her she was in the, quote-unquote "Wrong friggin' univoise." The General Derelict stood in awe and knelt before his superiors.

"GODS OF THE UNIVERSE," he began, motioning for Captain Tailos to join him on bent knee as well.

The General Derelict elbowed Tailos in the rib -- the fourth one -- when he began transmitting to through the Federation tranceiver badge. Reverence was clearly necessary. This was essentially the greatest movie theater in the entire galaxy, and the Captain's cellphone was ringing. The Gods eyed him mysteriously.

Lifeforms, the Emma Thompson-goddess said, waddling around in a terrifying replica of walking, what brings you to our beautiful Tentocrin? We have not had a visitor before.

It was quick to reply. "FUGGIN' JUMPED ON MY FUGGIN' SHELL! CAN'T GET THE FUGGIN' ASSHOLES OFF!"

The Gods were clearly displeased by the vulgarity of Its statement. With a sudden wave of her hand, Emma Thompsonthena radihotmered It out of existence. Thunder rolled over Dragonspace.

Now, the godactress said, fluttering about the Tentocrin, we must introduce ourselves. I am GFAKKKKKKKKFAJFAKF

At the sound of her voice, the General and the Captain were thrown from their feet. Her language was not translatable by Toboritary computers. It was the Language of the Gods, and as the General Derelict tried to replicate it with his voiceorepeatizors, he found that his metallicranium was shutting down. The Language of the Gods was not meant for lesser beings.

"GREETINGS," the General Derelict murmured nervously. "WE HAVE COME BEFORE YOU BECAUSE THE BEING YOU JUST DESTROYED SNATCHED UP THE VORPAL DIRK OF ETERNAL FELINES. SURELY, YOU KNOW OF THIS DEVICE." The long table set up around the Tentocrin gave an audible gasp. Yes. The table.

The Tentocrin has not been friend to a Dirkbearer for many years. It is gone now that we have destroyed It. However, it can be recovered -- when the Gods destroy something it is sent into another dimension. If you can dig through dimensionspace, you may be able to find it.

A very tall and imposing man with positively lethal eyebrows stood up from the gasptastic table. IT IS ABSURD! God of Eyebrows shouted. THEY ARE MERE HOBBITS!