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 Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2016 1:47 pm
"Who said anything about lust?" Kit asked, chuckling with amusement. "If you mean to suggest I don't know the difference, though, I'd like to respectfully disagree. At least to me, lust is more easily ignored, subdued, or satisfied than love. It doesn't tend to be as choosy or hard to understand, either." He gestured vaguely with his pencil. "Not that it's easy to ignore in general; just that I think it's comparatively simple to distract oneself from than love. I think of it as a physical sensation to be overcome rather than deep-rooted emotion."
His twinkling eyes regarded Penelope with silent laughter at her question. "That depends on the kind of love you're referring to; platonic, romantic, familial. If you mean romantically, then it's only ever happened to me once, and thank goodness for that. Don't know if I could handle it again."
His smile became pained and he reverted his gaze to his sketch. "But the damn feeling is like a drug, so once you've had it, you're always craving for more no matter how much time passes. Don't believe that crap about it being better to have loved and lost than have never loved at all. That's a lie." Kit's gaze flickered up once more to study Penelope's expression. "Do you believe you've fallen in love before?"
Kit nodded at the mention of her storytelling, his face brightening again. "I like storytelling, too. Used to tell a lot to my younger siblings. I'd love to read some of yours sometime if you wouldn't mind." He beamed at her mention of what she considered a tantalizing note. "It's wonderful you can think that way. I like to think it's all in the way we look at things, so that sounds pretty wise to me."
At Penelope's question about life, he inhaled deeply and exhaled more slowly, his smile fading a bit before he looked back at her and it renewed. He set down his pencil and leaned forward to offer her his sketch to see.
"I don't know," he admitted after a while. "I'm busy enough trying to relish everything I can in each moment I'm alive to think about what I might want from the future."
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Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:06 am
It occurred to Penelope that she hadn't been very clear in her meaning and was proven as such when Kit protested. "Ah, forgive me," she said easily, pressing manicured nails against her breastbone. "I wasn't speaking specifically about you," she shook her head, trying to look as though she'd never think that. "Many do, however, confuse the two, though I feel as though they often go hand in hand." Love could be driven by lust and lust could develop into feelings depending on the coupling.
Hand dropping back to the table, Penelope took the time to study Kit and his expressions as he spoke about emotions and love and things.
"Did that make you afraid of it then? Love that is. I heard being in love is a tremendously terrifying thing." That in itself was an answer to his question but she shook her head, licking her lips. "I don't believe so." She felt like being honest about this, because while she loved attention and could have many 'suitors' none had ever tried for anything serious with the german blonde.
"I'll consider letting you read something, but no promises." Though she couldn't stop him if he ended up finding her pen name. Then again, what would that make him think of her? All attention was good attention.
A wistful sigh left her and she blinked at him. "Live's an adventure, live one that's made for a novel Kit."
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:41 pm
Laughing lightly, Kit shook his head. "No need for forgiveness. It'd be fine if you were. I'm the sort that doesn't usually keep my hands to myself, so I wouldn't be surprised if someone thought I wouldn't know the difference, being familiar with both."
"And I'd agree with that," he told her, considering the relationship between the feelings of love and lust. "I do think they often go together. I read something somewhere that suggested romance was a combination of both. Since one seems to focus on the mental and another on the physical, I'd say it'd be pretty ideal to have both or for one to spark the other."
Since Pen seemed a little too occupied in their discussion to pay heed to the sketch he'd held out to her, Kit set it down for the time being, his thoughts tangled in deeper concepts.
"I think love is many things to many people," the young man answered. "And yeah, I'm afraid of it. To me, it represents a terrifying lack of control stemming from addiction and exhilaration. But that doesn't mean I'd avoid it if it crossed my path again. Some of the most frightening things are the things that make us feel the most alive, after all."
At the blonde woman's comment about no promises, Kit smirked and snatched up his sketch, closing his sketchbook on it before setting it off to the side out of Penelope's reach. "Alright, if you want to play that way, then I guess I'll just have to 'consider' letting you see my sketches too." He knew he'd already agreed to show her when he was finished, but technically he had. It wasn't his fault she had been too occupied to take a proper look at it.
Pen's last bit of advice elicited his largest grin yet. "Doing my best. But in novels, you never know what's going to happen next, do you? So I don't try to anticipate or sneak a peek at the end because I don't want to ruin everything I have right now."
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Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 11:11 am
"Why what do you think of those that do not feel sexual attraction, or don't want that in the relationship?" Penelope proposed, enjoying the back and forth and the surprising amount of intellectual conversation going back and forth between her and Kit. It had nothing to do with how she considered Kit and his mental prowess, but rather that, more often than not, the blonde was surrounded by weaker minded individuals who made for great time passers but lacked sorely in mental stimulation.
Blue eyes dropped to the sketch as he was pulling it away and she pouted, reaching for his hand instead of the book.
"Ah, it's not that I don't trust your opinion Kit, but..." Penelope trailed off, glancing away shyly and letting her cheeks flush. "It's a very niche market for the...deprived and I worry that you'll think less of me when you realize what type of writing I...specialize in." Not an ounce of that worry was true, but the woman was good at making it seem that way. Really, Penelope didn't care what other people thought of her.
As long as Alrik and Miss Alkaid found her favorable, that was all that mattered in the grand scheme of things.
"Good thing time travel's not an option huh?" She asked with a raise brow before she scooted towards the edge of the booth so she could slide into his side.
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 5:12 pm
"Hehehehe, good question," he laughed, entertained by the young lady's choice of inquiry. "Maybe I should have clarified. In general, I say to each their own. It's not that I think any less of those who don't feel sexual attraction or don't want it. But for people like me, who crave physical contact and have touch as their main love language, a combination of love and lust is ideal." For a fleeting moment, his brow furrowed and Kit looked mildly distressed.
"I just...for some reason, I can't seem to experience that anymore. It's easy enough to hook up with people with no strings attached, but...my affection for others seems to be stunted. I can care deeply about people, but it's almost always platonic. I just can't seem to make that sort of emotional connection, like..." He uttered a bitter bark of a laugh. "Maybe it's dramatic, but my little sister calls me heartless. Not much bothers me or emotionally affects me and she says it's like I'm a robot because I don't have a passion for much of anything."
Shrugging, leaned back in his seat and took a few great gulps of his now-mostly-cooled beverage. "Maybe it's just tolerance built up from that past romance I had, though; tolerance against the drug called love that I subconsciously built up in order to defend myself against the adverse side-effects." He smiled breezily; carelessly, as if being 'heartless' spared him from being distressed over his lack of ability to love. "If you ever have to deal with it yourself, I wish you the best of luck."
When his hand was taken, Kit met Penelope's blue eyes with his own and regarded her flushed complexion with calm curiosity. Upon hearing her expressed concerns, however, and despite the fragility with which she expressed them, a soft snort of obstreperous amusement escaped him. "Angel-face, I sincerely doubt that you have any reason to worry at all. I can't imagine what sort of specialization you might have that would make me think less of you. That's like thinking less of someone for being good at something. How does that even make sense?" With a quiet snicker, he added, "Besides...I'm the last person who'd have any right to think less of anyone for anything they love to do. Too much of a hedonist myself."
He gave a faint nod at her remark about time-travelling, wondering if she was referring to the concept of changing the past as much as seeing into the future, but was too preoccupied by her change in seating to ask aloud. With a slightly bewildered expression and an unspoken question readable in the features of his countenance, he sneered and asked, "Too lonely for you being all the way across the table?"
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 9:23 am
The way Kit spoke about himself was almost fascinating to Penelope, who admittedly enjoyed the intellectual banter they had embarked upon. Having him provide her with information made it easier for her to decide how she wanted to proceed in the grand scheme of her relationship with him, whatever it surmounted to in the end. All in all, the blonde found that she rather enjoyed the quirky man's personality.
A rare feat.
"Maybe you just need to find the right thing or person." She shrugged. "Don't the romance stories tell you when you find it, it'll knock you off your feet?" The idea of such a thing was nearly laughable to her, but she presented it as something she thought was intriguing. "Are you happy, Kit? Because, when it boils down to it, isn't that what matters?"
Once again the conversation veered back over to her and her writing prowess and she bit down on her lip, a shy smile hiding behind the action. "You're flattering me, Kit." Luckily, she didn't seem to need to elaborate because her companion appeared thrown off by her sudden closeness.
"Maybe I wanted a little comfort. Is that a problem?" She gave him her best puppy dog pout. "I can go back, if you'd rather..."
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Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2017 9:50 pm
Regarding the young woman's face, Kit's own was serene for a moment. "Maybe I do," he agreed at her suggestion. "But like I said, I thought I found it once and it did knock me off my feet - more than I would have thought possible." His smile had faded and he finished the rest of his drink. "It's easy enough to fall for someone. It's the impact of coming back down to planet Earth that hurts. And the worst of it is that you don't realize how much you truly love someone until you want to stop and you can't."
The young man's eyes shifted from his empty cup to Penelope and he forced a new smile to his lips. "I'm happy enough, I think," he answered. "It's hard to be satisfied when you feel like there's a level of ecstasy you'll never be able to reach again. But that's why I try to focus on the present and not think about the past or future. Helps me value each moment as I experience it, and I feel like I'm as happy as I can be with the way I am right now." Kit reached out to put an arm about the blonde's shoulders. "Sweet of you to ask. And you're right; that is what matters." He tilted his head to lightly touch his forehead to hers, his smile becoming more genuine. "What about you? Are you happy?"
He noted she didn't elaborate on her writing specialization, which got him curious. Did she really not want to talk about it? It was intriguing how she seemed so confident and forward in so many ways and yet could manage to pull off such a shy smile. Such an alluring mystery; a contradiction. He felt that one side had to be more like the real her than the other, but he hadn't gotten enough of a sense of her to determine which was which.
"Flattery suggests praise that's excessive and insincere," he replied, looking into her deep blue eyes. "I'm just being honest. But I understand if you don't trust or believe me. We haven't known each other for very long, after all."
Penelope's pout drew a light-hearted laugh from Kit. "No - no need for that," he chuckled. "It's not a problem at all. On the contrary, didn't I say I'm always craving touch?" Beaming, he turned in his seat and reached out both arms to gently pull his conversation partner closer to him. "Always happy to provide comfort if I can," he murmured, speaking softly into her hair. Then he softly kissed the top of her head before attempting to rest his cheek upon it and stroke her sunshine locks. "But I might be receiving more than I'm giving."
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 1:17 pm
Penelope settled against him, looking quite comfortable and at home with his arm slung across her shoulder and her body leaning into his. "Nothing worth while comes without a cost," she mused, head tipping back just in time for his lips to brush the top of her head. When her question was turned around on her, she made sure to smile at him. "Don't I seem so?" A carefully played deflection that removed herself from having any true responsibility to the weight of her answer.
Penelope Rey was a woman of mystery and calculation, each hand carefully played as it was dealt.
"You might be overthinking things Kit," she told him while resting a delicate hand atop one of his. "I don't mind," she admitted, making a point to snuggle closer to him. "Just enjoy the moment, me, for what it is and worry about what it means later. Okay?"
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 9:48 pm
"That's true," Kit agreed, addressing her comment about things worthwhile. "And maybe. But appearances can be deceiving, so I thought I'd ask anyway." It was another indirect answer from her and he found himself once more wondering at her reason behind it. Leave it to a writer to be so clever and careful with her words. Was there a reason she felt she had to be so cautious? Was she concerned about the commitment she made in making a comment, endorsing it as true? If she simply wanted to avoid the truth, she could have easily just lied, but Penelope seemed to speak with the cunning and meticulousness of a lawyer concerned that their own statements would be used against them.
"You might be overthinking things Kit."
"Mmm..." He probably was. He knew he tended to do that if left alone with his thoughts for too long. Well, whether he was overthinking things or not, it wasn't his business why the blonde young woman acted as she did. He was intrigued, yes, and wanted to learn more about her, but that could come with time. For now, she was right. He was perfectly happy being able to hold such a lovely, intelligent lady close and find warmth in her embrace on such a cold day. "Okay...I think I can do that."
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