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 Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 2:25 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 1:28 pm
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M Y R S K Y' S . W A N D E R I N G . P A T H
Growth Solo: I don't want to be like this...
Words: 1534
Quote: Growth Description: Myrsky confronts his feelings of superiority and realizes that the issues with him not getting along with others is that he is always losing down upon them. Recent events have opened his eyes and he realizes that he doesn't want to be that type of person. He doesn't want to be a person who only see's others as things that are below him, a person who wears a mask of politeness while actually hating people. He see's that is headed that way and wishes to change himself.
Myrsky stared down at the street below, watching the day time traffic of the run down oban street. His rescuer had taken him to a, for lack of better word, ‘dancing house.’ There was dancing, some food and a lot of drink provided… it was what happened upstairs that had so shocked him when he’d woken up that first time! He’d known that men would sleep with women they were not married to; he just hadn’t expected a house for such activities! His first reaction had been disgust; how could they do that to themselves? Did the women not find it demeaning? And what sort of man would do such despicable things? But he kept that within and merely watched and waited until he was finished healing. And as he did so he learned; as was happening a lot within this one city. They did it because often times they had too; and that infuriated him. The women had no choice but to dance and sell themselves as they had no other way to provide food or shelter for themselves. It shocked and confused him: did they not have family to care for them? Did not the elders take the youngsters under their wings and teach them to survive? Obalen had taken his mother and him in and raised him after his mother had died… did obans no do this? But he had learned that some families couldn’t support their children, or had sold them off to pay for the others... or that the family had died and the daughter or mothers had been left alone. It hurt, to see women like his mother, cast out or without a place to call home, live like this. It made him want to find the ones who made it turn out this way and freeze them into sculptures for eternity. But that would mean attacking an entire culture…. And it was a stupid foolish thought. What could that do other than make it harder for them to survive? Hadn’t he already learned violence was not the answer?
It was a very different culture than he was used to; but considering his ‘culture’ was him and Obalen living alone in the icy mountains it wasn’t much to base anything off of! His golden eyes watched the movements of a man as he approached and entered the house. He barely registered the man’s face, merely watching movements as his mind wandered and thought. Chewing over the same things he’d been thinking of since he’d been brought here. The same ideas that came back to haunt him and twist his feelings apart.
The women were forced into situations like working at a place like this... but they still helped him; a complete stranger. And for what? Nothing really! He helped out with medicine and magics when they needed it; he knew only the basic spells but it was enough to make them say thank you. And these were the same type of women he’d sneered at his whole life; declaring them false and wearing masks that he hated… but now he could see what lay beneath the masks and he felt guilty at his thoughts. They did wear masks some of the times… but not always. And when they weren’t performing for clients than they still often smiled and laughed; less elegantly and far more raucously; but real smiles and laughs. The same smiles and laughs that he’d called fake and disgusting. Like he’d insulted Eira so long ago it seemed. He’d always said he’d help those who needed it… but would he actually? Had Eira asked for help back then, after her guard had helped him and their healer had healed him, wouldn’t he have turned her down? He wanted to say no; he would have helped! But he knew it was a lie. He had not wanted anything to do with that group; he’d been too … too jealous to be honest. Jealous that they had such loud bright lives, felt like an outcast since he didn’t know how to talk to them, and had left as soon as possible without saying thank you or goodbye.
It was worse how he’d acted with the older oban lady who’d actually taught him. He’d only had thoughts of complaints as she taught him; always holding a mask of polite interest and a fake smile upon his face. It made him almost hate himself that he’d been that disrespectful to the lady who’d taught him.. at least I said thank you to her, he thought with a sigh. I will have to return to both her and Eira and apologize for my rude behavior.
It was easy to declare he could do stuff; but his actions spoke louder than words and he was beginning to see that the mask lay more on his face than others; he concealed the same as they did. He put on false masks to get something or make people stop bothering him... all the while wanting to have some friends, jealous of those who lived so lively and had so much laughter in their life. His arrogance; for that is what it was. He faced himself and did not like what he saw. Arrogance, ignorance, hard headed, and far too suspicious. All things he’d declared to dislike in others; and he had it within him. He wasn’t sure how to change; perhaps he already was… but he wanted to. For the first time in his life he was realizing he was wrong, his actions and words were not always right... and he needed to change.
That was the problem; how to change? He still had thoughts that would flash through his head, arrogance sneering thoughts that came unbidden. Perhaps it would take time; and he just needed to not act upon the first thought but rather the second or third. Take time to learn about others rather than dismissing them right off the bat. Make an effort to actually talk to people.
He stretched slowly, feeling the majority of his wounds mostly healed and stood up slowly. He could start changing himself now; by attempting to get to know the people who’d helped him. Actually interact with them instead of hiding away and attempting to ignore their profession.
Then, after he’d found his lost scorra, he would head back and see if on his way home to Zena if he could fine Eira and the oban mage who’d taught him. But for now; focus on changing, focus on healing, and focus on attempting to be a better people person.
He softly walked out of his room and headed towards first floor and the areas where the girls lived and hung out for the most part when not working. The… matron, an older woman that ran the place, noticed him first.
“Finally come out of hiding?” She asked with amusement. Myrsky figured she’d once been a great beauty, but the years had worn her down; maybe once she worked here and had worked her way up till she owned the place… he wasn’t sure; he’d never actually talked much to her other than to offer his aid in magics or medicine.
He hesitated then nodded. “I’m mostly healed but will require a few more weeks before I head out.” He responded softly. They were near the door to the main room where clients ate and enjoyed the dancing and music; he didn’t wish to speak too loudly... who knew who was listening on the other side? He didn’t wish to get his benefactors in trouble.
“You’ve been kind and haven’t asked for much despite helping me… May I ask why?” He wanted to know; why had they helped the stranger from the north? Wouldn’t it have been easier to turn him back in and ... get something?
She chuckled; “Because we’ve lost a few good girls to that man. He’s far too harsh and has money enough we cannot really fight back. Think of it as sticking it to him.”
His surprise must have shown upon his face; “You aren’t the only one who’s run afoul of him. Arrogance and acting all high and mighty upsets a lot of people… but when you’ve got money you can keep most of those who would object down.” Her words might have been for him… ironic he’d just been thinking about his own arrogance just now!
He smiled slightly; “I would still like to help out more, or do something in thanks.”
“Polite aren’t you.” She grinned. “And here you were all shocked and disgusted when you first found out1”
His small smile turned wry; “I’ve done some thinking. Living alone in the mountains does not prepare one for … cities and other cultures.”
“Or people for that matter.” She laughed and waved him into the joint living area. “Your medicine is useful.. but if you could find more local herbs that we could use for the same things…”
It was a tact invitation and acknowledgement of his words; one he took gratefully. It would help him too; he’d meant to look at this lands herbs and see what they were and how he could use them. Perhaps he’d have something to do while looking for his Dawn. |
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Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 7:47 am
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 9:15 am
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