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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:49 am
new_genesis_117 On May 21st, zombie Jesus comes to town. He'll kidnap his 'friends' and kill everyone with a frown. It'll be a sad day for humanity indeed, so let's all get drunk and make these last hours be sweet. Meh, I'm bad with rhymes. Would Jesus look down on using torrents? Roflcopter! rofl
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:56 am
I'm probably fine if the rapture comes. I've got weapons.
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Mind-boggling Abomination
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:05 am
I Am Here To Tell You A Story. A Story That Will Torture Your Thoughts By Day, And Poison Your Dreams By Night. And Although I Will Do My Best, There Are No Words That Can Be Written Nor Brush Strokes Laid On Canvas That Can Describe The Dark And Utter Horror Of The Night That The World Came Crashing Down.
~The Emptiness Will Haunt You~
((Inspired By Alesana's "Curse Of The Virgin Canvas"))
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:10 am
While the people of the world went about their everyday lives, busy at work, at school, at their leisure, they went unaware of the danger lurking in the near future. In the small town of Santana, a girl by the name of Haley was looking forward to finally meeting her Gaia crush, Erik. He lived kind of far away, so Haley decided to meet him close to his house via train. She got on the train filled with excitement from finally being able to meet him and from being on a train for the first time. She sat next to the window, with her eyes fixated on the scenery, and gently humming "In His Eyes" from the musical she had watched the day before. She sat wondering what he was like in real life, and if he was the guy she had always wanted. She was so happy that today was such a beautiful day, and she could not wait to get there.
The train pulled up to the station, and she was so excited, but nervous to met him at the same time. She stepped out of the train and immediately saw him in the distance. She ran up to him and gave him a giant hug.
"Who are you?" asked the confused guy, trying to break her hold of him.
"Sorry," she said backing away and embarrassed. “I thought you were someone else." She walked around for a bit, trying to get a hold of herself before she did other foolish things. All of a sudden, clouds filled the skies and blocked the sun. She looked up in amazement hoping it would not rain.
"Haley?" said a guy smiling.
"Erik!" she shouted happily and hugged him.
"So I finally met you," Erik said smiling and giggling a little. He looks up. "Looks like it might rain though."
"Don't worry. We'll just go some place to escape the rain...is there a Dave and Busters around here?"
"Yeah it's just down the street."
"Okay. Let's go," Haley said happily. They both walked to Dave and Busters and had a blast mostly playing “House of the Dead". They both walked back to the train station happy, laughing, and talking.
"It's almost six. What time does your train leave?" Erik asked.
"It leaves at 6:30. We still have time," Haley said with a smile.
The sky was still cloudy and had a dark look to it. A raindrop fell on Haley's face and she started to giggle. "It's starting to rain. You know, I love the rain. I love how it feels and how the smell of it gently feels the air."
"I love it, too. I've always thought it was so beautiful," Erik said gently while smiling at her.
The two sweetly look into each other's eyes, when the earth suddenly started shaking violently below them. Erik instinctively grabbed Haley and held her close until the shaking ceased. The shaking was so violent that the two could not keep their balanced and stumbled to the ground. A large crack appeared beside them and stretched far into the distance. Erik held Haley close until the shaking stopped.
"Haley, are you ok?" he said gently loosening his hold of her.
"Yes," she said scared and surprised. "That was a really big earthquake!"
"Yeah," Erik replied as he slowly stood up, helping Haley up. He slowly walks up to the crack in the ground. "Whoa! This is a huge crack! Wonder where it goes...and what people got hurt from it."
"Yeah we should go into town and see if anyone needs help. Besides, my train isn't leaving anytime soon."
"Okay. Let's follow this into the towns," Erik said urgently. The two agreed and ran into the town. Little did they know, the crack extended to a nearby cemetery, branching off over the whole surface of it. Coffins were exposed and life seemed to rekindle in it.
"Erik! Over here!" Haley shouted as she tried to help an injured woman to safety. Erik and Haley tired to help as maybe people as they could, while ambulances all over the city rushed the injured to the hospital. The firefighters thanked Haley and Erik for the help, but told them to let them handle the rest. They agreed and decided to sit and rest on the curb, even though there was still a light drizzle.
"I can't believe this happened," Haley said a little depressed.
"Yeah, but we helped so many people," Erik said trying to cheer her up a little.
"Yeah we did," she said showing a bit of a smile. "You know, we make a pretty good team."
"Yeah, even while we were playing 'House of the Dead', we made a good team," he said with a big smile on his face.
"We did," Haley giggled. Haley looked at the sky, which was now turning darker. "It's getting pretty late...how I am supposed to get home. I wonder if everyone's alright."
"I'm sure they are. It probably wasn't that bad there. According to the firemen, the epicenter was south of here. You can stay at my place until the trains start running again. I would drive you, but unfortunately I'm too scared to even be behind the wheel," Erik admitted.
"Okay," Haley giggled. "You have to get over your fear at some po-" Haley was interrupted by the sound of meowing close by. "Did you hear that?"
"Yeah. It sounds like a cat, that might be injured," Erik says concerned. They rush over in an alley to find a limping cat hissing at something. Haley calls the cat to her. It listens and hops to her.
"What's wrong little kitty? What are you hissing at?" Haley says while she picks it up. Erik remembered he had a small flashlight on his key chain, and used it to shine light in the area the cat was hissing at.
"Oh my God," Haley said in disbelief and trembling.
"Z-z-zombies!" Erik stuttered while slowly backing away. He grabbed Haley's hand and ran. The streets where pretty empty since most people had evacuation the area or had been taken to the hospital. They stopped momentarily in the road and saw that zombies were also coming from the direction of the train station. " I know lets go downtown to Little Tokyo. We might find help there."
"Okay," Haley said while looking around. She spots a bike lying on the sidewalk. "Let's use that to get there."
"Nice eye," Erik complimented as they both ran to it. Hayley placed the cat in the basket that was conveniently on the handle bars, and stood on the pegs while Erik peddled. They made it to Little Tokyo in a matter of minutes, and tried to warn people about the zombies. People laughed and snickered at both of them.
"No one believes us," Haley sighed, while Erik laid his hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, kids," an old man in a store tried to get their attention. "Did you kids say you saw zombies on the other side of town?"
"Yeah. They're headed this way," Erik said.
"Come in," he said while motioning to the inside of the store. They both listened and walked in. They looked around and saw hundreds of swords all over the store and mounted on the wall. "They never listened to me, either," the old said while pulling out a map. "Listen kids, if you guys want to survive, you have to stay away from all the graveyards mark on this map. That's where they all are coming from. The only place that doesn't have any nearby graveyards is up east."
"So what you're saying is that we should travel east of here?" Haley asked intrigued while petting the cat she was holding.
"Yes. There should be a refugee camp set up near the outskirts of town," the old man said confidently.
"Wait. How do you know all of this?" Erik asked suspiciously.
"In my youth, I work in a secret sector of the CDC. It was foretold that this would happen, and measures were set up to deal with this. Here, come with me to the back." The old man led them to a hidden door that led to an underground tunnel. "If you take this tunnel east of here, you can exit through an opening that was once used as a well. Once out of the well, you should be able to see the gates of the camp. You might need to fight your way there," he says while pulling two handguns out of box and handing it to them.
Haley looks down at the gun with an uncertainty, "Are you sure we have to use these?"
"It'll be alright, Haley. It'll be just like "House of the Dead". We made it there, and we can make it here," Erik comforted her.
"Here's some ammunition if you need it," the old man said while handing it to them. Haley takes it and puts it into her purse. "You guys better get going before the zombies make it here."
"You mean you're not coming with us?" Haley said concerned.
"No, I won't be able to make it, so the least I can do is steer others who can down the path of safety."
"May God be with you," Erik said to the old man while opening the door for Haley to enter first.
"Thank you," Haley said while going through the door with the cat still in her arms. They stood at the entrance of the semi-lit tunnel in awe of how long it was. Then started walking, slowly down the only path there was. Haley decided that it was safe to put the cat down and let it walk on its own for a while.
"What do you think happed to its paw?" Erik asked.
"Looks like it got hung in a wire, probably a fence." Haley answered.
"So when this tunnel splits how will we know with one to take?" he asked wondering why he did not think of it before.
“I know!" Haley excitedly said as she pulled out a mini compass key chain. "I almost forgot I had this."
Erik smiled and said, “I’m sure we'll make it through this, together. I'm glad we're together right now."
Hail smiled and blushed a little, "I'm glad we're together right now, too." They both held hands and continued walking down the tunnel. They walked until they could not walk any longer. They decided to sit down and rest a while before continuing. Haley and Erik fall asleep in each others arm, with the cat curled up besides them. When they awaken, they notice the tunnel is strangely darker than before, but decide to keep walking aways. They finally made it to a fork in the tunnel.
Hali pulls out her compass. "South is that way," she says while pointing to the tunnel to her left. They walk down the tunnel when they realize faint shadows in front of them. They slowly decided to turn back, and got their guns ready in case they needed them. As they walked back, the shadows seemed to be getting closer. They began to run, but now shadows appeared in front of them too. They stopped in the middle of the tunnel back to back with their weapons ready, waiting for the identities of the shadows to be revealed. Slowly, they watched as each shadow turned into rotting, undead corpses slowly inching toward them. They were surrounded! All of a sudden, the corpses stopped moving and one came to the front of the mob. Haley and Erik stared at it in disbelief.
"Michael Jackson?" They both simultaneously shouted surprised.
He stared at them and began twitching. His zombie followers began doing the same. Haley and Erik laid down their weapons and decided to join them in the dance, even the cat joined in. They all did the "Thriller" and faded into the darkness.
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:28 am
delilah723 Haley and Erik stared at it in disbelief. "Michael Jackson?" They both simultaneously shouted surprised. He stared at them and began twitching. His zombie followers began doing the same. Haley and Erik laid down their weapons and decided to join them in the dance, even the cat joined in. They all did the "Thriller" and faded into the darkness. XD XD XD XD XD!
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:34 am
Allikat27 delilah723 Haley and Erik stared at it in disbelief. "Michael Jackson?" They both simultaneously shouted surprised. He stared at them and began twitching. His zombie followers began doing the same. Haley and Erik laid down their weapons and decided to join them in the dance, even the cat joined in. They all did the "Thriller" and faded into the darkness. XD XD XD XD XD! lol so i guess you liked the ending XD
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 11:03 am
After all these years, Zombie Raptor Ninja Jesus has returned to the Earth to give cake and ice cream to the good boys and girls of the world. (He lights the bad ones on fire.)
Then he will take everyone to heaven, where absolutely nothing will happen. Psyche! The Rapture is actually next week.
God: LOL I TROL U People: =/ Jesus: Couldn't have let your son know? It's not as though I'm not part of this organization.
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 11:38 am
If the rapture was real, all of us cool kids would get to stay behind until my birthday. That must make me the anti-christ... Cool.
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 11:42 am
Here's my story: Lisa and Carli were sisters. They wanted to go to heaven together when the Rapture came. They were all they had. Both of their parents had died in a fire the year before. One day, God comes to Carli in her dreams. He tells her that she must get Lisa to break up with her boyfriend before the Rapture comes. Or else.
The next morning Carli told Lisa what God had told her. Lisa was confused, how could Tristan, her seemingly perfect boyfriend, be bad? Carli plead with her sister to listen. Lisa didn't want to hear it. When Tristan came to give them a ride to school, he seemed different. Something about him wasn't right. Carli told Lisa to end it right now, and Lisa refused.
Later at school, Carli saw Tristan in the hallway. She still felt wierd around him, like a darkness was coming off of him. He looked at her and grinned. Carli felt a chill go down her spine.
Tomorrow was the Rapture and Lisa refused to talk to Carli. She hadn't even come home, she was still out with Tristan. God came to her once more, asking her to please get Lisa away from Tristan. Carli told God that Lisa refused to listen. She was ready to give up. With that, God left.
The next morning Carli awoke to find that Lisa still had not returned. She was worried. But she assumed Lisa would be back in time for them to leave together, just like they had planned. It was 6:00. The time they had been told they would leave. Lisa had not returned.
Carli saw a bright light reaching through her roof, she walkied to it and found herself being pulled up towards heaven. She wished Lisa was with her. But if she wanted to be with her boyfriend, then fine by her. When she arrived in heaven, God was waiting for her. He looked at her and sighed, "Well you failed, your sister is lost forever." Carli looked at God confused, "What do you mean?" God looked at her, "Your sister's boyfriend, Tristan, was a demon in disguise. Her stole her soul and trapped it in hell. I tried to warn you. I'm sorry....."
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 1:57 pm
The Rapture is the worlds darkest hour, Where the demons will come to power. The sky will turn blue to red. Don`t forget what I just said. The ground will tear beneath your feet, The air will be a blazing heat. The cause of it is unknown to all, About the world`s horrible befall, Butt here`s one thing and I`ll tell you that, The cause of this is the evil Nyan Cat.DUN DUN DUN
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 2:55 pm
Well, its going to happen like this.
Jesus is gonna be chillin' with his angel crew upstairs, and notice that he doesn't agree with Michael Jackson's song, "Beat it" anymore, and decides to destroy the human race when the Astrological sign is in Gemini, because he doesn't have a twin, and it makes him rage to think about them. So, he's going to kill every twin on the planet first.
Then, his gangster angel race is going to come running down with coconuts in their hands, knocking them together to make horse running sounds. (props to people who get the reference.) And while the clouds part, they are going to realize they are in the middle of the Saharan Desert, because, when did anyone tell us where they were going to descend?
After that, they are going to murder all the girrafs that look at them wrong, and blast OMD from a boombox to burn all of the African Tribesman's ears out.
Then Jesus (his homies call him Poncho), is going to let go his horrible gas, and destroy all of Europe with a extremle nuclear explosion. (And we aren't going to donate our money to help their nuclear problems.) -props if you know what I'm talking about there too.-
Saving the U.S. for last, because Poncho knows that the worst people come from there, he burns Obama's birth certificate, and eats his precious dog. Then kills everyone. EXCEPT for Mariah Carrey. He still doesn't know how she gets her voice that high.
The end.
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 3:15 pm
I'm not going to tell you about that instead i will tell you about the newest one
its Called friday the thirteenth on the 13 month( danuary) next year at 1300 hours ( Australian time)
It will be the time when the world runs out of doughnuts sad there will be a rampage and every one will die Because i bought a bomb (JKS) wink Its filled with jelly
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 3:43 pm
In my final moments on this planet, I would like to say that being in this guild has been the best time of my life. I feel like I can be myself here without other people critisicing me for being wierd or random. So thank you to everyone, to all my fellow guild members, and my friends that have been there from the begining. I will miss you all. Now..... LET US EAT CAKE! *begins to throw cupcakes all over the place*
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 3:58 pm
this prank^ | I would do it...
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 4:13 pm
u know wat, if i had to die, it would be by drowning in a pool of soda. pepsi to be exsact. and holding the bible
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