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Honestly, I am feeling a little bit of PTSD here, listening to you On_Fire...

It was probably one of the most trying things to my relationship with God when other people started to tell me what was right and wrong with my relationship to my husband... a man who, even though he is not Christian, has supported me, encouraged me, and helped me reach a closer and more personal relationship to God through not only words, but actions.

It is not a person's place to tell others whether their relationship is bad or good, because honestly, you have no idea what goes on between a couple. Using scripture to define another person's relationships is dangerous, and can lead to them feeling as though you are self righteous to say the least. Scripture is meant to be applied to self, and as we see here, can come across in different ways to different people.

You can have a scripture based discussion as to what you believe the scripture points out, but I feel it becomes too personal when you start to say "This is what God wants for you," based on your own revelations for yourself, when God may have revealed something else to someone else.

Basically, what I am saying is that what is right for one person, isn't necessarily right for another person. We all are individuals with different weaknesses and strengths. Some people may not be cut out to be with an unbeliever, but some other people may do alright. I honestly would have left the faith if it wasn't for my Pagan husband. Yet, I wouldn't recommend it for everyone.

I also never got into a relationship to 'save' someone. Honestly, I don't know anyone who has, although, it seems everyone jumped to that conclusion about my relationship to Dave.

You know, I've said it before, but I'll say it again, Dave was the only one who ever respected me as completely as I needed him to. He didn't cross any lines, and he waited for me. Something NO Christian man had done. I'm not saying there aren't any Christians out there that would have, but it's just the way God meant it to be for me. But, for you to go over and over why that should mean nothing is actually a bit degrading, and callous.

You should feel free to share your understanding of the scriptures, and it will even be respected, but you shouldn't apply it so literally to other people. It is the responsibility of those who listen to you whether to apply what they hear to their own life. You do not have the ability to save anyone, you only have the ability to share through word and works what you have been given, but it is God who will convict and save.

To say that "God does not want you dating so-and-so," implies that you know exactly what God wants for an individual that is not yourself, and that can be a very dangerous thing.

I know the Word is Christ. But after that part I still don't get what you're saying. Sorry.

I don't really see what's wrong with the keyword useful. If it is God-breathed and useful for the things listed - and it did say all Scripture - then it would be in our best interest to follow. And again, there is nothing else to follow but His Word.

I don't exactly know what you mean by the "letter kills" part. But the point is not if the letter kills. The point is that the letter kills. So he isn't talking about the Bible obviously, which includes his letters.


I think that statement was a final note on when you were talking about me saying you should do something because the Bible says so. Can't remember anything else other than that.

PTSD= Post traumatic stress disorder...

...and... No... I was dating, and later married... and still married after 10 1/2 years...

I went through this whole ordeal the first 5 years I knew him, and once in a while, it still comes back to rile me. Yet my husband and I are pretty well of despite others' hassling me that he is the wrong man for me, like they know what God's Will is for me. The thing is, I got a pretty clear sign from God that I was making the right decision when I married, and that goes against what you and those who would condemn me for being 'unequally yoked' would have told me back then.

... And there IS more to follow than the Bible... You have to follow what God tells you to do. Sometimes what God tells an individual to do runs counter to what others believe is right, even when they have the Word to back them.

Look at Hosea. He married a harlot at the behest of God, yet, most would consider it immoral. You can't tell me that Hosea didn't love her either, because that would have canceled out what God was trying to teach. Although, it is generally accepted that this is 'wrong' by the general community if they saw such a pairing today, it was mandated by God.

Now I am not saying that my relationship to my husband is some major grand prophetic lesson for others to follow, but I do believe that my marriage to my husband is mandated by God, and blessed by Him, despite the fact that he was, and is not a Christian. I have been able to do many things for God, and learn many things because of my husband's beliefs, that I would not have learned if I was not in this situation.

That is why Orange (or anyone else) needs to take time and meditate on what God wants before the enter or exit ANY relationship, whether equally or unequally yoked. It is also why both sides of the argument are potentially right.

Concerning the idea of believers and non-believers, Paul made it pretty clear that he was elaborating his own opinions...


The only command he gives of the Lord here is dealing on divorce...


...But then he goes back to giving his opinions...


The whole passage of 1 Corinthians 7 is pretty much Paul's insightful opinions... If it isn't the direct Word of God, then why is it allowed in Scripture?.... Because it holds true for MOST people, but if someone would act contrary to Paul's opinion and wise advice, it does not make them sinners, nor does it make their exercising their free will on the matter rebellion. It also leaves open the avenue for God to pair us with who is most fit for us.

As to the matter of "unequally yoked" in 2 Corinthians 6:14, that passage was directed at Christians cooperating with idolators or condoning their actions. It is easily applied to marriage, but that was not the passage's purpose. It does reiterate the hardships that a potential marriage might experience, but there it is being taken out of context when applied to marriage when it is meant to be addressing another topic (IMO).

...And we DO need leaders in the church to help those who need direction, but each leader has his own interpretation (or the interpretation of his/her denomination)... People tend to flock to congregations that hold the majority of similar views to their own. Does that mean that other congregations are not Christian, just because their interpretations don't fit the same jigsaw puzzle hole?

Yet...Once a believer is grounded in their beliefs, it is up to them to feed themselves with the meat of the Word, not just be bottle or spoon fed by their leader. There comes a point in which a person needs to ask God directly for His revelation, and not depend so much on their leaders.

I think I grasp your point though I still wouldn't count it as the best idea to date an unbeliever. As for the Hosea part...I haven't really read Hosea. What you're talking about sounds familiar though. Not sure how that applies now since Christianity didn't start back then. Plus I don't know if there were instructions to not do that back then. Emphasis on "I don't know." I'm not saying this nullifies Hosea but not so sure about this application either. I'd probably have to read it myself to have a well-grounded reply to that.

If someone has the Word properly interpreted to back them up, then I'm sure that God would not be going against that. He's not hypocritical. However if it's plan, not will then things change. Not saying that His plan and will never correspond.

The verse in I Corinthians I used was more to counter what RM said. Though I suppose jumping to the verse you used. Using that nullifies both arguments though. The fact that we don't know if we'll save the person remains the same. Of course, that remains the same in multiple circumstances.

I'm still sure the verse in II Corinthians refers to relationships. At this rate it seems the the argument of what it means come to a standstill. I do agree one should do some serious meditation about the relationship. But I stick to II Corinthians 6:14 here so...yeah.


No, but it's important they know the right interpretation and not the wrong one (assuming one is right and another wrong).

Though someone should be able to interpret Scripture on their own, there's not problem with asking leaders on confusing verses. And not everyone is intimate with God.

I disagree. I see non-Christians every day doing God's will and showing his love to others. They may call it something different, but if we believe in a God big enough to reach all people and big enough to use all people for God's will, who's to say he can't use an atheist to fulfill his kingdom on earth? Also, if a non-Christain's love isn't from God, where is it from? Is it fake love? Is it a lesser love than Christians are able to express? To me, all those ideas limit God, and my God is limitless.

Bare through my rough metaphor for a moment, so I can just make my point clear. Say your mom bakes you an apple pie, and tells you, "Hey I'm baking you an apple pie." You smell the apple pie baking and you're like "Man, that smells like an amazing apple pie!" You know what it is, and you realize it's awesome. Now say the person next door smells that apple pie. They may not realize that it's an apple pie baking, but they know it smells awesome. They don't know your mom is baking it for you with all the love in her heart, but they understand the smell enough to know it's great and attribute it to something good. If they're very observant, they may even make the assumption it's an act of kindness, because who bakes apple pies anymore? Obviously that's not a perfect metaphor, but my point it, the person next door is unaware of the source of this delicious smell, but they still realize it's good. They don't need to know you or your mom or the apple pie to know it smells really good and it's a positive thing.

Also, yes, while getting input from friend in terms of how your relationship is doing is sometimes a good thing, in the end only you know what you want from a relationship and what will best benefit you. A friend can provide insight, but they can also reflect their beliefs, biases, and opinions on your relationship, which have no business being there. I have friends who will only date within their religion, and that's perfectly legitimate because that's what they want out of a relationship and what they will benefit from. I, however, am not the kind of person who necessarily needs that. I want us to be on the same page and have some overlap in beliefs, but as long as I can have an intelligent, religious discussion with them, that satisfies me because that's how I benefit and better understand my faith. In many ways, a person with different views is actually better because it brings forth a new perspective. Again, this is simply my preference and everyone is different, which is why advice from friends should be taken with a grain of salt.

I am saying that your advice is not in line with the Living Word. I am saying that your interpretation is not within the spirit of the Word and I am rebuking you for it.

I'm saying that if the usage of a particular passage is not "useful in teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness" then it ceases being useful. Your usage of scripture in this case is not useful in teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness so your usage of scripture is not useful.

He's talking about the Laws of Moses. If scripture is not used within the context of the Living Word, then scriptures will kill, lead to sin, and the arrogance of the pharesis. The Bible can be used in this way. Westboro Baptist Church is a prime example of how misuse of scriptures can kill one's soul and justify living an un-Christ-like life.


I don't remember saying that and that doesn't sound like something I would say. Maybe I mispoke somewhere. If you would quote what I said, I am more than willing to clarify or retract the statement if I did.