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He woke up with a sound that was trying to be a scream and failing. It made his throat hurt, but that was nothing new. His throat hurt since he'd woken up. His chest felt like it was being squeezed, lungs phlemy, and left him coughing for breath; fumbling for the bottled water by the side of the bed with shaking hands.

He bumped it by accident and cursed through his teeth when he knocked it over, where it hit the ground with a sloshy ‘clunk’.

“Goddamnit.” He sighed, leaning over the side of the bed to fish for it.

I mean, kinda late now, but I think she was into you dude…

He could see her face when Lucas had said that. Her smile, before it had been dimmed by the monster that had been addiction. He felt a twist of guilt now thinking about it, wondering if he’d missed the cues. He’d never been good with things like that, and times like this… they made him feel a little broken.

He wondered if he’d have seen her again.

People talked about near death experiences, but he’d only been aware of darkness and cold. Maybe that kind of thing was for other people, the kind that actually connected with each other. He’d loved her deeply as a friend. He’d have had sex with her if she’d asked, but whatever component it was he saw in the movies, where people got butterflies and gazed into each other's eyes silently, he was pretty sure they’d skipped that in assembly. Sex was just people mutually scratching an itch, pretty chemical fireworks in your head that made you feel good, and relationships were people that laughed with and talked to you, and put up with the need to compulsively sink his teeth into people's weak points to try and learn from them.

He caught the bottle with the tips of his fingers, almost lost it under the bed, and finally dragged it up, coughing more from the pressure of the bed in his ribs. He drank a few swallows when he was able, and put his head on his knees, the bottle dangling out in the air, where he could just see the moonlight through the water and plastic.

“Mary hon, I think you dodged a bullet with me.” He muttered, into the dark. As if she could hear him. He hoped she was someplace better than that dark emptiness. She deserved light and warmth, wherever she was now.

He loved her in his own way, but he was pretty sure he never could have loved her the way she wanted to be loved. He wasn’t sure he could do that for anyone.

He rubbed his hand over his face and then screwed the top back on the bottle of water, listening to the sounds of Boudica sleeping in her cage. She didn’t have to worry about this. He wasn’t even sure she understood that Mary and her red curls and smile were never coming over again, or even if she remembered her.

God… everything was so messed up. He was pretty sure there was something wrong with him in the first place and he felt like he’d woken up in a body that didn’t fit right, like a glove that was too small… or too fragile. He’d still not worn out that youthful sense of immortality until that night and now all he could feel was the ridiculous frailty of his own body. He’d gone to sleep strong and capable, he’d woken up so weak he could barely lift the finger monitor and was still trying to pick up the pieces.

He’d slept for a week and he didn’t want to sleep again. Not right now. Too close to a darkness with nothing in it.

She didn’t deserve anything he’d seen.

She deserved sunshine.

2016 Fall Festival Don't you love Fall? Even when things get a little... Bats.

Solo- The Best Medicine

After being chomped by bats at the Halloween Fair, Kidder is feeling kind of... under the weather.

R-Flirting with the Shepard

Kidder encounters an unusual young woman while getting his feet wet at this knight thing.

[Bat]-Gadding About
Nether Wallop has an run in with his first corrupted senshi. Boy when this guy said he needed something like a hole in the head... guess he meant it.

Reg Home from the Fields

[Bat]-My what a big... stick... you have

Wallop meets a new young knight on patrol... or is he? It's a glamorous little evening for Phrygia and Wallop... fairly literally.

(throwback RP) Sweet Dreams Weary Travelers:
Hekate and Wallop