Temptation had been to stop at the gas station, but he didn’t have a fake ID on him, so he’d skipped it, having no chance to buy beer to go along with his surprise visit. Besides, with any luck, Lucas would have some, if only so that he could apply a nice cold can to his aching jaw.
He just hoped he wasn’t interrupting some kind of date night, but the lights were on and he didn’t see any signs of someone else, so he leaned against the doorframe with a tired groan and thumped on the door with the side of his hand, because he really didn’t feel like hitting anything with his knuckles after that go round.
“Lucas! Hey! You in there? Lemme in!”
---
It took a minute for the door to open, Lucas stood there with a brow raised. “I wasn’t expecting you for ano-” He started to say before his shirtless form took in Kidder’s current state and then there wasn’t any other talk, he reached out, gently pulled the other man inside, and closed the door behind him.
“-What happened!” The larger man demanded, eyes going over Kidder’s current state of physical dishevelment and general lack of wholeness. “You know if the bouncer didn’t like your ID you could have just called me I’d of been able to handle the situation without you ending up looking like Rocky Balboa. Come on, let’s get some ice on that.”
“Can’t have your pretty face get all swollen,” He teased the other man with a slight hiss as he guided him into the small kitchen area, opening the freezer to grab a bag of frozen peas and applying it directly to the bruised section of his jaw. “Hold that.”
“Now, because I haven’t shut up for two minutes for you to tell me what happened - What happened?!”
---
“A Pantene commercial punched me in the face and shot me with magic laser arrows.” Kidder summarized, flinching at the cold, though he reached up to pin it in place. “It kinda sucked.” He added, with a bit more mumble on it because goddamnit, his jaw still ached and he really just wanted it to go a little numb.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to answer dad’s questions if he wasn’t out hooking up with someone from work. Oh sorry. ‘Having business dinners’.” He added sarcastically, because that had, for years, been an coin toss between an actual event and the man's long chain of flings, which had started as affairs and ended in an abrupt divorce.
“Mostly the jaw sucks… I think the rest is wearing off.” Either that or the fact it wasn’t really hurting any more was a bad sign and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. “I am not qualified for this magical bullcrap.” He sighed, and then took a moment to deliberately look Lucas over. “Also not that I don’t appreciate the show but am I interrupting something? s**t…”
He needed to talk less probably, because he suspected he’d re-opened the cut inside his mouth. God he hoped the little b*****d had broken a knuckle.
---
“Well I mean, it doesn’t seem like that magical bullcrap is a walk in the park.” Lucas said, before reaching into the fridge and pulling out two beers, opening one and placing it on the counter next to Kidder, before opening his own and taking a long sip of it. “The only thing you’re interrupting was pizza - I thought he was here super early.”
Looking down at his chest though he chuckled. “It was a long day at work so I figured I’d just veg out and in that process I never got around to putting back on a shirt - so you’re welcome.” He added with a bit more flirt in his voice and a small wink. “So laser arrows huh? That’s a thing? That really has to suck.”
Lucas could at least pretend to not know the trials and tribulations of this all - mainly because most of his powered encounters had not ended poorly as of yet. There was the one strange masked girl - but he decided that if this was how Kidder was reacting to it all - best not to worry him with his own stories.
---
“I got some money in my wallet, let me cover the pizza.” Kidder offered, feeling guilty for the interruption… though not so much that he didn’t calmly switch the hand holding the bag of peas so that he could calmly put his chilled fingers on Lucas’s bare chest.
“Yep. Laser arrows. Hurt like a b***h but I’m not bleeding and it doesn’t feel like it blistered so… I mean I wish that was the weirdest thing… he had like… holes in him. Not like piercings or gages but like… actual. Open. Holes in his head and chest.”
He couldn’t get his head around it still. He’d seemed… well he guessed normal for someone who might casually murder you, but… how did you go home at night like that? Did he just go home after doing whatever and plug it up with cotton balls and latex and makeup? Did they go home at all, or did they have some dark place they crawled back to rest and lick their wounds. At what point did you lose too much ‘human’ to be human, and how close was it to that line if you could jump to the top of a two story building?
“... I gotta find a self defence class or something if I’m gonna keep being this goddamn stupid.” He muttered, adjusting the peas again. He wondered if they made classes where he wouldn’t just look like he was there to harass the girls. Guys were sort of supposed to know this stuff by default, but he wasn’t sure he could throw a proper punch. He’d resorted to ThreeStooge-fu and running the hell away for ******** sake.
----
“Don’t worry about it,” Lucas said with a chuckle, waving off the offer easily and placing his free non-beer hand on the one Kidder placed on his chest. “I’m not gonna be able to eat it all anyway - so we can share. It sounds like you got roughed up pretty good so I’d be remiss if I let you pay for dinner after getting tossed like that. That’d be insult to injury and that’s not how I do things.”
Well okay - it was when he didn’t like people. But he was fond of Kidder in a friend that he sometimes dragged off to bed sense of things. Patting his hand, he pulled away for a moment as he moved around the kitchen, sipping his beer as he motioned for Kidder to follow him back to the couch. “Come on, let’s sit for a bit, I’m sure you’ve been on your feet all night.”
Sitting on the couch he stretched out and lifted a his beer. “And if you want to learn to throw a punch, I can teach you. I used to box, remember?”
---
“Yeah well, I’ll owe you burgers or something. Speaking of which, remind me and I’ll run you buy some eggs. Dad’s doctor still thinks eggs are the devil in a shell so I’ve got too many and there’s only so many quiche and omelettes I can take.”
He retrieved the offered beer that Lucas had left out for him and followed him over to the couch.
“I know you did, I mean s**t you’ve always been in better shape than me. The Haynes lines are proudly descended from greek gods and the Kidder line equally proudly has a long history of keeping crows out of cornfields. You think I can actually do this without snapping my arm in half?” He asked, only half joking, as he flopped down. “Seriously though, I’d like to file a complaint with every comic I have ever read. Except maybe Batman and even he somehow became a master at like… everything… in an unreasonably condensed time frame. Where’s my spider-reflexes or whatever? Doesn’t do me a whole lot of good to get a magical strength boost when it’s just as likely to make me trip extra hard as help me out.”
---
“Well like any sudden drastic change to your body you got to give yourself time to adjust to it. If I suddenly became a super powerful faster than human being overnight the last thing I’d do is rush out and try out those powers. You gotta take things slow… like… the first time you’re getting intimate with someone slow. Yeah, you can rush into it and push things to the limits, but you’re more likely to just hurt yourself or someone else and then nobody having a good time… Okay - so maybe that was a s**t analogy but you get my drift right?” Lucas asked, raising a brow as he spoke before taking another long sip of his beer.
“Look, if you want to be a better fighter I can teach you how to punch and s**t, that’s not hard. The basic fundamentals are pretty damn easy and once you get those down it’s just building up from there. It might not be a bad idea to get your scrawny a** in the gym. I’d say quit smoking but… Well - I’d be hypocritical as ******** if I did, so I won’t. Look, you got this cosmic power bullshit and it’s just something you have to live with.”
He tossed the rest of the beer back in a long chug before letting his head rest against the back of the couch. “Long story short - do what you feel you have to, to make it out in once piece, because god help me I will kill you if you get killed.
---
“I should quit smoking but I am pretty sure I will immediately seek out a new vice to replace it with.” He admitted. “Also no I’m keeping that analogy on the grounds of it is a fantastic way to probably make people change color in hilarious ways.”
He let out a long sigh, letting his head fall back to stare at the ceiling, still not having touched his beer.
“I should point out the irony that me, the stick figure, is doing this to keep you, the male model, out of danger. Or that was the general idea. I mean I just figured there’s enough dangerous s**t out there that no one needs magical STDs or whatever. But hey, phenomenal cosmic powers also apparently come with an nice little vacation rental spot… if you like mud holes, thistles as far as the eye can see and little houses with the roof caved in somewhere in the last ten generations.”
He sighed, looked at the beer again and took a sip, wincing a little as the remaining taste of copper did not particularly complement the malt and hops. “But that was ...weird too. Like it felt like being the missing puzzle piece that should have been there and wasn’t. Aside from the whole ‘holy s**t so many ******** thistles’ thing.”
---
“Well then, you may have that analogy,” Lucas said with a half nod as he closed his eyes and just relaxed on the couch. He knew he should probably TELL Kidder that his work was for naught, that he too - had been oh so blessed with the strange magical powers. But he did not. Mostly because it let Kidder believe that he was doing something good and also because he didn’t want to have to fess up that he’d been banging his boss at work and she TOO was a magical power wielding whatever the hell. It would only cement the fact in Kidder’s mind that this magic s**t was catchable and god help them all at that point.
Though he supposed in absence of a better explanation it made a whole damn lot of sense.
“Well I appreciate the help in that regard.” Lucas said with a chuckle. “And the irony of it even more so. I’ll get you up to speed, and who knows, it might even fill you out a bit. That wouldn’t be too bad.”
He reached a hand out to lightly punch Kidder in the shoulder. Not hard, but in a teasing sort of way. “Need to put some muscle on that lanky frame of yours. On another, less muscled note. If you need any help with basic construction stuff just bring me along for the ride next time, if you can, and I’ll take a look at the damage. Maybe we can salvage the place.”
---
He grinned and swatted at the hand, accidently dropping the bag of peas absently when he did so and trying to catch it between his shoulder and chin. “Sounds cool, but we’re gonna have to look up one of those books on sustainable whatevers, I think the roof is thatch or something… was thatch… man though… it’s like someone walked out and never came back. There was even a broken cup on the floor from the table collapsing.”
It was easier to ramble about that than think about his physical failings. “Oh god, this is turning into more reasons for you to drag me to the gym and laugh at my suffering isn’t it?” He chuckled. “I mean I know people are always on about it releasing endorphins and s**t but man if I wanted to get sweaty and feel good I can think of other ways to do it.”
---
“Yeah, well, maybe if you’re feeling up to it tonight you might just get your wish.” Lucas said with a smirk, before letting his hand fall back to the couch as he let out a long sigh. “Yeah, probably - I know how to fix like - a normal roof - but a thatch roof? Yeah, I’d have to look into that s**t. Not really a big demand for thatchery now days. I mean I’m sure in some little rustic renn-faire bullshit but…” He shrugged.
“But a little time in the gym won’t kill you I promise, especially if you want to learn how to throw a punch proper,” he said eying the other man for a moment. “It’s all about focusing on where you’re landing the hit and follow-through though, so really anyone can do it. It’s just whether or not it’s going to actually hurt.”
To be fair - he’d taken his fair share of punches that had made him rethinking his boxing hobby but yeah.
---
“Yeah… I’ve got no idea. I mean it’s basically just not there, so maybe we can replace it. I mean hell if thatch works how I think it works there is no way in hell I’m going to try and put bundles of condensed, flowering spite up there because there’s way more of that than grass.” He admitted, grinning at the suggestion. “A little… whats that term the cool kids are using… netflix and chill right? Sounds a whole hell of a lot better than trying to fight some guy who probably gets his hair caught in revolving doors…. But I’m going to admit in advance that while I will allow for the usefulness of the gym I am going to be a ******** brat about it, and ‘Eye of the Tiger’ is definitely getting played. However the only eggs I plan on consuming will be cooked.”
---
Lucas laughed and shook his head. “Fair, fair, I’ll allow it for now.” He said with a small nod, leaning his body over to bump shoulders with Kidder. “But you know, we’ll worry about that when we get there.” For now, he was content to just be there for him since he needed the ear. But as far as anything else went, well - he’d figure they’d play it by ear.
“But yeah, sounds like we’ll want to replace it - or upgrade if possible. But we’ll have to see. I’m sure we don’t have to use your little hell-blossoms if we can avoid it.” Though he wasn’t sure if there was a limit as to how much Kidder could bring with him when he popped off to who knew where.
---
“Man I wish there was like a… primer on this stuff but I guess it makes sense that there isn’t one. All the s**t going down in this city and I imagine they’d track the hell out of any informational books or videos.” Kidder sighed. “Man though I thought I left half this crap back in school. I’m gonna be calling you to help fish me out of a damn dumpster one of these nights and it’s not gonna be one of those film props filled with foam.”
He did need to hit the gym, he needed to at least know how to defend himself, even if he never picked up that damn crook again he couldn’t -not- know what was out there.
At least the little house and fields were pleasant enough. Part of why he wanted to show it to Lucas. God knew Lucas could use a little peaceful in his life too, and thoughtfully added.
“I guess we could start by trying to just tarp the damn building… that’d be something. ‘Course now I’m imagining that Mythbusters thing with all the sewn together shower curtains and just imagining chilling out in a broken a** bed staring up at the sky and a goldfish shower curtain.” He held up his hands as though to frame the image. “Classic.”
---
Torvil
