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 Posted: Fri May 29, 2009 1:34 pm
the disturbance of the soul  How does the mind - any mind - cope with the concept of nothingness? It doesn't. It remains dormant, drifting through the empty air, eyes seeing nothing, ears hearing nothing. There is no smell, no taste, nothing to touch. If the mind were truly aware, it would go insane. There is no sense of time passing, nothing to landmark, until his great journey through the vast emptiness of limbo between Gaia and the Zurui world ends. A small portal opens before him, and he steps out gracefully, one foot setting down on the ground, then the other. He feels... Fear and Uncertainty, and they cloud his perception for a great moment, until he registers the sensation of tearing cloth, and chilled skin. He looks down to see his robes in ruins, a small purse dropped to the earthen road beneath his feet, and a few gold coins spilled from it. Barely enough of his robes remained to hide his nudity, and it wasn't even close to being enough to keep the embarrassment or horror from him.
He knelt carefully, gathering up the coins while staring at his hands. Weren't they... big? Bigger? It was all so hazy, so strange. He could remember... could remember...
a flash of blonde hair
a feline purr
splashing water
...nothing. Nothing at all save an aching sense of loss.
He pursed thin lips, reaching down to gather up the folds of scrap cloth that were all that was left of his robe. How odd, that it had torn so thoroughly while he was wearing it. Still, he could perhaps drape bits at least enough to properly conceal himself as he made his way to a shop. There was one at the end of the road, away from the acres of cherry trees that were blooming over one plot of land. One huge plot of land...
He reached the shop safely enough, digging into his purse and finding enough money for a set of hanfu. That calmed him a bit, and he slipped inside, padding silently through the rows of clothing, picking the pieces he would need. When he'd gathered everything, he moved to the counter, saying nothing and not meeting the eyes of the clerk as he set down his money. There were cheery greetings and a bit of chatter from the clerk, but he offered no responses, uncomfortable at the thought of speaking when he was so ill-clothed. Or perhaps simply uncomfortable at the idea of speaking at all. All he could really feel were the conflicting desires to not be there, and to get the clothing that would help him feel even a small bit more comfortable. When he was handed the bag with the clothing, he fled from the shop, ducking behind a few bushes to change. Once properly clothed, he felt a little better, but he was lost once more, unsure of himself. What was he to do now? He knew he'd had a place to go before, but that was before. And now he was lost, wandering the streets of Gaia alone and afraid... and wondering where his memory could possibly have gone.
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Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 5:16 am
opalescent meeting The tree was tall, it's branches broad and leafy. It offered wonderful shade, and he'd found himself moving to a hollow made by the roots. He sank down, leaning his back against the peeling bark of the tree, and he closed his eyes. There had been some hope that he might've remembered everything given an hour or two, but no... all that remained still were those maddeningly distant hints... and a soundshape, lingering just a bit distant for his ears. He was alone and afraid, and there was no real help for either. And so he sat, trying to ignore the faint rumble of his belly. He wasn't terribly hungry yet, but he would be before long, and then he'd just have to go back out and find a store that sold food. Inexpensive food, hopefully filling...
But for now he sat, shoring up his mental walls in a sort of unconscious habit, and trying to focus on the few things he did feel. The soft waft of a breeze around him, the comfortable shade of the leaves above him, the smooth bark of the tree at his back, the approach of some being who seemed to be worried...
...Approach, yes. He sat up a bit straighter, looking around before spotting a small, white fox-like creature padding forward, its tails gleaming iridescent in the sunlight. It stopped near him, vivid green eyes spearing him for a moment, and indeed, the worry was coming from this creature. And he felt... he knew the name of it, or at least, the name of what it was. Z... Zu.... the word failed him, and he made a soft sound of frustration, frowning.
As he scowled at himself, the creature shifted, stretching upward into a woman, furred and longhaired, her tails swishing behind her. She moved to him, and he drew back as she reached out to touch his hand with hers. Why did that worry spike when he wanted to pull away? For a moment, all he could feel was her... she obscured his vision, she touched his hand, and he withdrew, hiding behind his own mental walls. And then the moment was past. Aliikki - that was her name, wasn't it? he knew that now - smiled gently at him. Though her face was more muzzle than proper face, the gentle, worried care she projected so lightly at him translated the expression. And the emotions were more... focused, more directed. It wasn't the vague shapelessness of uncontrolled emotions he felt as background noise all around him. These felt more like his own, more comprehensible.
"Come with me," she offered gently, rising slowly and waving him to join her. "I know a woman who will feed you and shelter you, until such time as you might find another place." She turned and began padding away, confident that he would follow her. He didn't want to, but another bit of projected emotion - caring, concern, a mixture of 'I will protect you' and 'You are safe' - found its way into his heart, and he did move to follow, staring at the sway of her iridescent hair in confusion.
Why, oh why... why did she feel like a mother to him?
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Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 1:41 pm
invitation extended Warmth and comfort, that's what he felt from her as the two enter the small shop. There were animals scattered about, some frolicking and others lazing in the sunlight. Most seemed to prefer the yard, but a few like the shade the indoors offered. Aliikki left him, moving around the counter to retrieve a small phone, and still blanketed by that warm maternal comfort, he drifted through the room, stopping near a painted birdbath and letting his fingers rest delicately on the decorated concrete. He didn't listen into the phone call. There was no need, and besides... within him, there was a sound waiting to escape. He could feel it, could almost hear it within himself. But it was a slow thing, like walking through chilled molasses.
It was a distant thing when he heard Aliikki's phone call end, and then he shook his head, dragging his mind back to the present. He looked over at her, his eyes meeting hers and a faint flush of pink spreading over his cheeks. How bold he was here, spurred by the kind feelings she kept sending his way. She smiled gently back at him, nodding to the room as though to say 'please, continue looking around'. Still blushing faintly, he did so, turning back.
"Aliikki?" called a woman's voice from outside, and that startled him. He looked at the door, feelings swirling turbulently around each other, comfort and worry, and then he shifted closer to the wall, ducking his head, when the woman barged into the shop, striding forward. "Where is he?" Aliikki said nothing. She merely lifted a hand, pointing to him before turning back to her work, and in that instant, he understood. This white-furred female creature was going to hand him over to the human! The comfort faded, and he edged toward the door nervously, only to find his way blocked by the creatures from outside... the zurui from outside. Zurui... that was the name!
"Hi there," said the woman, and her voice was pitched lower, gentler... kinder. He withdrew behind his mental walls, watching discomfited as she moved to him, kneeling down so that her head was closer to his height. She did not make him comfortable at all. Near her, he felt... bone-deep grief, a sort of resigned feeling that allowed her to still function, and a sensation that there was nowhere for her to fit into the world. And yet... and yet... "I'm Mireille. What's your name?" she asked, her voice still that gentle touch of a light breeze. He felt caring, and concern, and honest worry for him. He didn't have to dig for any of it, wasn't sure he could have. She projected it all in unfocused chaos, wide open to him.
"Ruokei," he answered, then blinked. So that was his name. There was something he remembered, then. The name felt comfortable in his mouth, the taste of it like familiar, beloved food.
"I understand you don't have anywhere to go, Ruokei," Mireille said, her eyes sad when she saw him shake his head in answer. "I have an extra room or two gathering dust. Would you like to use it?" And that, too, relieved him. No 'I'll adopt you'. No promises to take care of him, promises that might make him feel like she'd just walked right over him. Nothing of that nature. Just kindness and a hand open in friendship. Cheeks pinking once more, he nodded once. Acceptance. Perhaps, with this woman, he could find enough of himself to find his place here again.
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:24 am
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Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 5:24 am
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Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 6:29 am
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Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 7:17 am
other possibilities It was late one night when Ruokei wandered downstairs. He was getting used to the idea of Sailien sleeping in his room, though Mireille had purchased a sizeable pillow for Sailien to sleep on, so that the zurui wouldn't make himself at home on Ruokei's bed. It had worked better than she'd planned when Ruokei realized that Sailien vastly preferred the dark. He'd set the pillow up in his closet, with a carefully knotted length of material for Sailien to grab and pull the door closed, and the latch taped open so that it could never lock him in. However, with that setup, it had taken Ruokei several days to become used to the idea of another living being so close.
But this night, Ruokei couldn't sleep for a different reason... one he didn't understand. He'd laid in bed for hours, staring up at the ceiling and sighing, or shifting to one side or the other. But nothing had felt comfortable, so he'd finally slipped out of bed, padding out of the room as silently as he could manage and making his way downstairs, mindful of the places where the stairs creaked. The living room was shadowy, lit by the light of a full moon, large and glorious outside of picture windows, and there was nothing there to help Ruokei's quest. Padding toward the kitchen revealed nothing of interest, and so he made his way past it, down the hall and into the office. He stood at the door in the office, looking at the desk with the silent, dark computer and the wall of bookshelves filled to overflowing with books. Starting to feel there was nothing there, either, he turned to go. But his eyes fell on a small table near the office door, and the stack of papers on top. The font was bold and large enough that Ruokei thought he could make out his name, so he picked the stack up, cradling it against his chest as he slipped from the room.
Back in the kitchen, the farthest point from Mireille's bedroom, he dared to turn the adjustable kitchen light on to low, just bright enough for him to read the text in the pages... as best he could. He recognized letters with relative ease, but actual reading was a slow, struggling process. And as he pushed farther and farther, he realized that Mireille had, in the time since she'd taken him into her home, been far more concerned for his welfare than she let on. There, in the pages, were very basic reading lessons, starting from letter sounds and moving up to actual words - small, but real words. The stack was easily a hundred or so pages large, and Ruokei turned each page to the next in fascination.
By the time he came to the end, he was smiling - a small but real expression on his pale face as he set the papers back in their pile, careful to keep their order and tapping them to smooth out the edges so that the pile was neat. There had been places for him to write in answers, and to trace the letters themselves. But first... he needed a pencil...
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 10:19 am
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 10:35 am
practice makes perfect Ruokei was pleased with his progress. The pencil no longer felt awkward in his hand, and more and more, the letters he wrote were legible and neat, each stroke bringing an odd sort of comfort to it. He'd long since abandoned the worksheets for plain paper, obtained by Sailien. Ruokei didn't want to know quite where Sailien had procured the legal pad, and the fang marks in the top, where the glue held the pages together, was a little disturbing at first. But no drool or fang had touched the pages themselves, and more and more, it had proven invaluable. He'd shifted, at length, from letters to words, liking the way it felt to sit at his desk, carefully constructing each word that came to mind. The first words were simple ones. 'Fur', 'bed', 'door', and even those he'd misspelled several times over. In the end, it had been another gift from Mireille that had helped further. He didn't know if she'd seen him working on the pages and gotten the thick dictionary, or if she'd always planned to give it to him. But he loved it, thumbing through the delicate pages as he looked at all the words contained inside. Night was no longer n-i-t-e to him, and while silent 'e's were still a mystery, it was a mystery he was getting used to.
The work itself was a calming thing. He didn't have to focus on anyone but himself, and didn't have to push past his innate shy nature to socialize with others. Admittedly, he'd liked the people he'd met so far. His pencil stilled as he looked up at the window over his desk, eyes distant and thoughtful. He... really had liked everyone he met so far, hadn't he? Kikushou, Kauanoe, Hitsuga, Baikou... And there were others who'd been around, but he hadn't really met them yet. He set the pencil down, pushing out his chair and getting up to pad out of his room and down the stairs. The memory of that untouched tea reminded him that he was thirsty, so he made his way to the kitchen as he contemplated the people he'd met. They were good people. They deserved something to mark it, didn't they?
His thoughts were derailed as a furry body wound itself around one leg, reminding him that Sailien wanted something to drink, too. He retrieved a small bowl of water, setting it on the floor for Sailien to drink from, and knelt down beside the zurui kit. One hand stole out to pet Sailien's fur, and the zurui looked up at him with that foreign gaze, so inscrutable. But the feeling behind it... that made sense to him. He was right. Sailien agreed with him. He needed to do something to mark just how kind the people he'd met were.
It was just a question now of... what?
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:30 pm
unexpected growth spurt Ruokei shifted, yawning a little as he came awake. There were odd sounds coming from his closet, and as he blinked sleep from his eyes, he sat up in bed, peering solemnly at the darkness that marked where the open door sat. His first thought - something scary hiding within - was quickly dismissed. It wasn't right, couldn't be right... not with Sailien housed within. The reassurance knocked around his brain for a few moments before there was another scuffle from inside and he froze.
...Sailien...
Ruokei slipped out of bed and hesitantly approached the door, nerves making him shiver in the dim moonlight that lingered in his room. He wanted to speak aloud, but wasn't quite sure what to say... and wasn't sure, too, whether he wanted to attract so much attention to himself. What if whatever was inside had hurt his little zurui kit? What if whatever it was would now hurt him? He swallowed, his lower lip settling between his teeth as he worried at it, inching closer. Reaching the door, Ruokei slipped one hand out and pushed it out of the way slowly, holding his breath as he tried to peer into the inky black of the nighttime closet.
And then he was thrown backwards, a large weight landing on his chest. His breath exploded from him violently, and he let out a sharp cry of startled confusion. The sound was not nearly as loud as it seemed to him when it shattered the silence. For several long minutes, he radiated pure fear, before the feel of comforting reassurance began to register, filtering through the emotions pouring out of him. The weight had shifted off of him, curled up at his side as he lay on the carpet, gasping, and a wet nose surrounded by fur nudged at one hand. Ruokei whimpered softly, shaken and confused, and his hand crept out, slipping over soft fur as he calmed slowly.
When the possibility occurred, he sat up, wincing just a bit at the way his stomach felt, still tender from the winding. "Sailien?" he asked, daring to speak the word aloud as his hand found one pointed ear and scratched slowly. The ear was... larger than he was used to. The body was too. It took him another couple of minutes to stumble to his feet and pad to the lightswitch, turning it on and looking around. Sailien did, indeed, stare back at him from black cherry eyes, offering a soft 'whuff' of amusement at the way Ruokei's jaw had dropped. Sailien, it seemed... had grown.
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 6:08 am
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 6:37 am
flight of fancy Ruokei sighed, draped on his bed with one arm beneath his cheek. His face was turned to the window, watching the way the sunlight played over the glass, mottled from shadows of leaves and branches, and occasionally hidden by clouds. There was something brewing within him. He could feel it - the way his stomach twisted and skin prickled. It felt... a little like perhaps there was something to come out of him before too long, something that might tease his senses or tickle his mind. And maybe... just maybe... it had something to do with the way delicate fingers played over the cool plastic of his mechanical pencil. Finally, he sat up, gathering papers and books and padding to his desk to dump them over the glossy wood surface. It was time to begin.
He settled at the desk, tongue sticking out between teeth in a tiny display of concentration as he wrote on lined notebook paper. His words looked plain, too simply-written, but he ignored that. Later, when he understood more words... later he could work on making his writing pretty. For now, it was the meaning that mattered. His head bent down, hair falling into his face to be distractedly brushed aside. Ruokei wasn't quite aware of the exact moment that he lost track of the time, though Sailien certainly was. The zurui eventually grew bored, rising and padding outside as dusk fell. Ruokei remained hard at work, writing and rewriting the same words several times as he considered and reconsidered them.
When he was done with pencil, he took up a new lined paper, and set his penciled words nearby, so that he could painstakingly copy them, correcting spelling diligently. Wut became what. Sel became smell. Pureti became pretty. Halfway through it, he carefully picked the pen up from the paper, setting it aside long enough for a face-splitting yawn to overtake him. He considered crawling to bed, but he couldn't quite bring himself to. Ultimately, he went back to work, making certain that every word was as perfect as his childish hands could make them.
When he was done with that, he set the pen and papers aside, stacked neatly, and reached for the penciled version once more, carrying it to bed with him. He barely managed to read the first sentence before his eyes had slipped shut again, and he was off to dreamland. The paper fell to the bedspread, still clutched in one hand.
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 8:35 am
The Man and The Cat
 There is a land where a man lives. He can make magic with smells. He calls it perfumik, and he likes making perfumik a lot. He makes perfumik out of flowers, and trees, and fruit, and his perfumik makes his mind calm and happy.
One day, a cat comes up to him as he is sucking the perfumik out of a tree. The cat watches the man for a while, and finally asks him a question. The cat asks him why do you suck the perfumik out of the tree?
The man looks down at the cat for a long time. He sits down beside the cat, and looks up at the tree. He says that perfumik helps him sleep at night. He uses perfumik to make his room smell pretty, and the perfumik magic tells him a bedtime story, too. So he likes perfumik, and always wants to have perfumik around.
The cat thinks about this for a long time, and then gets up, and goes away. The man waits a little while, and pulls out a bit of perfumik to smell as he thinks about the cat and wonders why the cat left. He is thinking so hard that the cat sneaks right up to him when it returns.
The man jumps up in the air with a yell, and then he sees it was the cat and he smiles and sits back down again. Hello cat he says. The cat can't talk because the cat is carrying something in its mouth. It hands the little bottle to the man, and then it disappears into a puff of perfumik smoke!
The man waits for a little while, and then he opens the bottle and looks inside, and he can smell cat perfumik. The cat gave him his own perfumik!
The End
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