|
|
|
|
|
|
|
+[Unholy_Rage]+ Vice Captain
|
 Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 7:05 am
dead_duckii +[Unholy_Rage]+ dead_duckii whoooa dude thats intense.. last year people were talking about not seeing dreams in color and they didnt know if people saw dreams in color but i said that my dreams are in color because every dream i have, like the sky is purpelish gray. and like evil looking. even when its the middle of the day evvvery single dream i can ever remember. the sky is like eerie. sometimes its dark redish gray and sometimes its purpelish gray my dreams are pretty vivid too, so i guess people just dont pay attention to their dreams or something I think it's because us women tend to be both logical AND emotional thinkers, and often we'll find that the two ways of thinking become entangled.. thus if we deal with our problems emotionally, this can manifest itself into a vivid dream. It's why we dream in color I think, because colors and images are often subconscious symbols for things in our mind. I've heard that males dream in monochrome though, I don't know why. thats kinda weird when you think about it. maybe the eerie evil looking colored skys are symbolic for something.? Yeah could be, like... subconscious issues? They could be a sign of psychological tumult, who knows...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 8:07 am
[Miscellaneous dream]
This a minor dream I had but for some reason it felt so poignant and I remember it quite clearly (well clearer than most recent dreams)...
I couldn't really place where I was, but I was with some friends. One of them was my good friend Jo. We were talking music, exchanging random jokes (like we always do) and just being nostalgic. For some reason we were in our old high school uniforms too.
The suddenly another old friend (that now chooses to sever contact), Naomi walks up to us. She says something but I can't remember what... but she looked at me with a disappointed demeanor and then eyes Jo evilly and walks away. Then I woke up.
Real life situation: I should start from the very beginning...
Back in the first half of 10th grade (well, latter half of 9th grade too - 2003, 2004) Jo, Naomi and I were quite the trio. I gravitated toward them because we three were the only rockers in our entire year level. We sat in a dark corner of the school premises and just talked music and made fun of people... we became known as the 'grungers' or the resident 'goths', which we resented of course.
Jo and I started hating each other one day (the reason I can't remember... some memories just got wiped away by my past vices). Naomi and I became closer but she was still relatively close to Jo; but come 11th grade Naomi wanted to drop out of school because it was taking a toll on her. Jo didn't like this, she was very bitter about it all and even sent scathing messages to her. I was the only one who supported her decision (thinking she'd make something out of her life - ended up being a complete disaster). And for a few years we remained fairly good friends talking on a regular basis.
Present day 2008...
Start of the year, Naomi and I grew even more distant - hardly spoke, and she even moved to a different state for awhile. Jo and I made up because of another good mate of mine, Marian. She got a dialogue between us going... and it was like nothing bad ever happened. I started hanging out with her more often, and she's also around for a a lot of group outings with is - thus more pics on Facebook etc xd . I dunno what happened but Naomi probably resented this more than I had foreseen and suddenly she decides to just not talk to me anymore, like I betrayed her. It was all strange, because a couple of months ago I told her 'hey I'm friends with Jo again' and she seemed happy. Ah well...
Recent events prior to this dream + misc. factors:
- Naomi finally deletes me off MSN, significant because that was our only means of communication for years. Also refuses to reply on FB.
- Talked to Marian about an impending gathering with all the ol' gang soon (aka getting wasted in a club somewhere).
- I'm kinda freaked out because one of the things I used to discuss with Naomi a lot was astral projection (the ability for one person to pschically invade another's dream)
... LOL now that ended up being a huge rant xD
|
|
|
|
|
|
+[Unholy_Rage]+ Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu May 21, 2009 2:40 pm
-NIGHTMARE NOTE: i have this dream alot, but sometimes i wont have it. Its weird, whenever i think about my dad, or i see something that reminds me of him, i have this dream non stop for a while. I usually try to get as little sleep as possible to avoid this dream.
I remember i was about maybe 9 or 10 years old at the time, and the day before, my dad had gotten bailed out of Jail, (Im going to reveal something personal, but you guys seem cool so im going to say it) He had been accused of raping 3 young girls, age: 10, 8, & 12. He had a court date to go to. And my mother was in a rehab center (for alcoholism abuse) so i was staying with him for a while. When he came home that day, he got WASTED. I knew to go into my room when he's like that, so i locked my door, and like i did many times before, blasted KoRn in my ears until i couldn't hear him screaming for me to open the door. Because i knew what would happen if i opened the door. Eventually, he gave up, and im guessing passed out on the couch. (After this though when he went to court, he was convicted for the rape and killing of the three girls, they found their bodies in the back of his truck that he tried to hide in an abandoned garage.)
I feel asleep with the music blasting in my ears at FULL FORCE. (i was listening to the self titled album and my Cd player was on repeat. I was listening to track 12 already when i feel asleep.)((im going to describe it like its a story cuz it's easier.)) here's my nightmare:
------
I woke up from being asleep and i took my head phones off and looked around my room like i was seeing it for the first time. I remember hearing something, like screaming and crying in the backround. But it had music behind it. I let it go and walked out of my room. When i walked down the hallway, i knew this wasnt' my house, i couldn't figure out where i was. Then i stopped in front of the last door on the left. Thats when i heard it.
I heard such a pain filled strangled cry/scream. It hurt my ears to hear it. Thats when i opened the door and i almost threw up at what i saw. There was a sickening stench of dead decaying bodies coming from a pile of something in the corner. and there was a dark body crouched over a much smaller form. Another scream ripped from what it looked like the smaller forms throat as i moved to flip on the light. Everything happened at once. I heard Jonathan screaming "Daddy WHY?!" as i saw the bodies in the corner move and fall on the floor, they were the three girls my dad had raped. Then i saw my own father crouched over a small girl, she looked to only be around the age of 7 maybe 8. Tears were rolling down her face, and there were bloody gashes all over her body. I realized why this house seem foreign yet familiar. It was MY house, the house i lived in when my mother first left for rehab. And this was my FATHER's room. Where it happened. It seemed so long ago. but now, in front of what happened. Staring into the face--my face, filled with agony&betrayal. I remembered as the memory replayed itself. All I could do was stand there and watch as my father soiled me, like he had so many times before. But at that time,right now, the FIRST time, it hurt the most, because it was fresh, new. after this it had become expected. It hurt so much to know that i could do nothing to stop it. For it had already happened. This went on for what seemed like hours. days maybe. with out stop. like time itself had stopped, put on repeat maybe. like Daddy on my Cd player. I could hear the song like backround music. it seemed to get louder and louder each time it replayed. When it finanally ended i woke up when the soft voice( i dont know who sang it, the girl that sings when JD is crying softly.) came on. My body was sore like it had really happened and i couldn't breathe properly. I was having a asthma attack, and i was crying on top of it. I ran into the bathroom and turned on the hot water in the shower and used the steam to breathe better. Then i took the house phone and called 911, it was then that i decided i wasn't going to be abused by my father anymore, thanks to that dream, thanks to KoRn, thanks to Jonathan Davis.
-----
Now, my moms out of rehab, my father died in prison, (he got life after they charged him with the rape of me and that got him life. he was killed by an inmate.) and im living happier with my sober mother, lifes looking good right about now, im about to start high school WOOOHOOO!! lmao im not the kinda person to dwell on the past, i much rather like to look on to the future.
Thanks for reading!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:18 pm
Date: Various dates, I'm guessing from 4th grade, through most of high school (I graduated this past May, which should tell you how often I've had this)
I'm walking through a field, the crops around me are dead, broken stalks that are only a few inches high. . . It may have also been grass, but if so it is still dead, brown. Lifeless.
The sky above me is black, which is disturbing because I can still see light and color. The view is in first person, so I can't really see what I'm wearing. All I know is that I continue to walk. . .
And then, out of nowhere, I fall off a cliff, somehow hidden in the field, like a ravine or canyon.
As soon as I fall, I gasp and jerk awake. I use to have this two, maybe three times a month, but lately not so much. I'll still find myself jerking awake at night, though. And this makes me suspect I still have falling dreams, even if I can't remember them.
All the dream interpretations I've read though, say that a falling dream symbolizes stress and loss of control. Which explains why I had this so much. To some extent.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:35 pm
Korn is jashin, you're not the first person to be saved by music or heavy metal. Although what you've been through is probably one of the more extreme circumstances. I'd tell you to rise above the circumstances, and make best of what you have, but it seems you already have. Congratulations then, and I hope it continues to work like that for you.
Most of my friends think I'm crazy for listening to heavy metal. But without that and my poetry, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Hell, I probably wouldn't be whole. . . One of the reasons I've had my falling dream so much is because of my mom, we've never gotten along and that has caused a lot of stress. She's never abused me but, we have no relationship. And when I lived with her and my step-dad we would only talk when I had done something wrong, it didn't matter if what I did was stay out past curfew, or forget to clean the bathroom again. She didn't understand who I was, and I couldn't deal with who she was. In the end we got into a fight, because I forgot to clean the kitchen. That was the night she told me to get out, and I said fine.
Life is better now, much better. And because of the music I started listening to in middle school (my first three rock cds were Meteora, Linkin Park, City of Evil, Avenged Sevenfold, and See You On the Other Side, KoRn) I didn't turn to self-mutilation before I had the courage to leave.
Okay, cheese fest over. XP Just wanted you to know you weren't alone in calling KoRn your savior. ^_^
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 6:10 pm
Thank you very much, It is horrible that other people out there are the same way, but then again im happy, because I know im not alone.
Im sorry about you and your mother, but i'm glad your doing better as well ^ ^
Yeah cheesyness is over haha
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:43 am
*laughs* Yeah. . . Cheesyness is just needed sometimes. *shrug* I still talk to her, but then again I also still have falling dreams. So in some ways my life hasn't changed a whole lot.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
![+[Unholy_Rage]+'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/de/50/38e6cc1a1e50de_flip.png?t=1320595772_6.00_00)
