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 Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 2:17 pm
I think the whole 'marriage before you're 21' is highly stereotypical. Sure there are a lot of people around you getting married early, but not EVERYONE does that. I'm 21, turning 22 soon, have a wonderful boyfriend I've been dating for 3.5 years, and I'll be going on a mission. Getting married right off doesn't guarantee a happy relationship, nor does it mean you're in for a rough ride. It all depends on the person. I'm not marrying for a few more years at LEAST.
A lot of people I know who get married young feel they're ready and that's okay. Some people actually are. GASP! The thing with the church is that it welcomes young marriages because they want you to raise a family asap because being a mother (female version) is the most important thing you'll ever do.
The assumption is that if you've lived a righteous life and you find someone who has also led a righteous life, then you'll be happy because you both know how to do it RIGHT. Most mormons are brought up to be righteous and therefore if they marry another righteous person, chances are it'll work out. As one of my boyfriend's missionary companions once told him, "Doesn't matter what you believe. If a genuinely good person marries another genuinely good person, and they both want it to work, it'll work."
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 4:28 pm
I thought it might be worth pointing out again...The church does not urge you to marry young. The church does not want you to marry before you are ready. The church urges you to date. They want you to start looking for the person you will marry. How quickly you find someone you want to marry has absolutely nothing to do with it.
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Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 6:53 pm
Ha ha I was Dateing a Elder he was two years older then me I am only 17. He asked me to marry him two mounths after going out. I was Happy but I still turned him down . I dont know why. I now am going out wiht anouther guy my own age he is so sweet non-mormon but he has the closest relationship with god thst I have seen any other person have. He knows more about god and understands the gosple more than anyone I know. Even that Elder I was talkign about . He has told me his views on mormonism saying how he thinks Gordon Hinkly has improved it drastically but a cover up is not near as to the truth as it needs to be. He finds it unnessisary to do all the silly little things whe do to try and feel closer to god. He has soem kind of feel about him liek richousness without the sacrament, Anountings, pristhood, Book of mormon. WIthout all these things he seems just as richous. He is not telling me that I am wrong for being involved in the church of LDS Jesus christ . He just thinks He dosent want to be iun it becaus ehe is happy with where he goes to church and Likes growing Spiritually.
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Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 3:30 pm
Personally, I find the sudden marriages frightening. I've known people to jump into marriage really quick, and it has always bothered me. And people wonder why divorce rates are so high??? People should seriously take very great care when they seek a spouse.
That said, sometimes people do get married quickly, not simply to be married and get the Mormon status quo over with, but who honestly feel that the Spirit approves of such a match. It really depends on the person, but either way people have to be really careful.
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Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:45 pm
So I found out that even more people from my home stake who went to girls' camp with me are engaged. Holy cow. One of my friends from the stake and I have agreed to be the old maids together and wait until our 20's. I'm not bothered by the ever-growing possibility of being married last in the group because I don't want other people do get married before I do- it bugs me more that, if the pattern continues, I'll be 20 or 21 and all these people who are my same age will already have ditched their maiden names. I'll just say it one more time: Holy cow!
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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:13 pm
I got married at 21, with a rather sudden engagement-we were only engaged for about a month, dated for maybe two...but we've known each other for a very, very long time. Lots of years.
And, we've only been married a year now, but it really has been the best thing I ever did. I was lucky enough to marry my best friend.
That said, I was planning to wait until my midtwenties too, and still think that in general it is the wisest plan. It just worked out for me. If it were a race though (grins) my next closest friend has two kids, a third on the way, and she's my age. eeeew.
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Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 8:58 am
I'm sure everyone here has said that you should definitely go your own pace. Everyone is different, and I honestly think you're being very smart about it. Being married during or straight after college isn't for everyone.
I'm 22 now and I'm getting married in a couple of weeks, I haven't been to college yet, but that is only because I didn't feel that it was time. So my fiance and I are doing things backwards! whee I honestly didn't feel ready for marriage until about a year ago. Its all different, the Lord has a plan for everyone, and none of them are the same, but they will all lead us to joy. Pray about it, and let Heavenly Father guide you in your important decisions. However, I personally think that you're being very smart with this, and I commend you. biggrin Marriage should definitely not be taken lightly, thats why there are so many divorces out there in the world, because people don't hold marriage where it should be. I say, kudos.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 12:11 pm
*29. Not Married yet. REALLY Okay with that.*
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 3:54 pm
True Story,
I always thought I'd have to know my future husband for years before we'd get engaged, and then one day when I was 22, I fasted to not be broken hearted anymore, and immediately got a message from a guy named Tyson, who I took to the institute Halloween Ball.
Tyson says when he met me in person he immediately felt the need to introduce me to his friend Oliver, and he did talk about him a bit that first day even though he hadn't spoken to Oliver in months. Tyson also says he put off introducing us for a while because he kinda liked me himself.
Finally, it became obvious to me that Tyson was not the answer to my fast and I was really hurt and confused.
And then he shared Oliver and my contact information with each other.
Three months after I met Oliver, we were engaged, and three months after that we were married.
On one hand I was really scared it was all happening so fast, on the other hand it felt too right to slow down and I couldn't wait to start my new life with him.
It's been two years now, and we have a little 16 month old girl. And I know that Oliver was the answer to my fasting and praying that day. He's the sweetest, most honest, sensitive, and affectionate husband I couldn't even have dreamed of.
When we were married, he was 27, and I was 23. And that was right for us. biggrin
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