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 Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:42 pm
Creating the Doll  herapy.. That's what they suggested, what they thought may help me.. Maybe they're right?
My friends were sick of coming to visit me in the cafe where I work, only to watch me sneak glances at the windows of the office block on the other side of the street, hoping to catch a glance of her.
"DJ, you need to get this out of your system" one suggested. "Maybe a shrink?" thought another. Both suggestions were shot down with glares from me and they never suggested it again. It was my boss that suggested it, a voodoo doll.
"Why would I use a voodoo doll? I don't want to harm her."
"Then make her feel the pain that you feel every time you see her flirting with anything in pants."
I thought about this for a bit and when he suggested a journal to help vent other feelings that can't be transferred onto a doll I figured it was worth a shot. I mean, it couldn't really harm her could it?
I placed no faith in anything coming from the doll but it would at least be fun. I gathered the supplies needed: Winning Entry I grabbed the only white pillowcase in my cupboard, I had never used it to sleep on, but now I had a use for it. Pulling out sewing supplies, I dug around in my threads for her favorite color, purple. Also in my supplies were buttons, scraps of old clothing, white string and the stuffing from an old teddy bear.
The white string I cut into long pieces to reach down to the mid-back of my doll and dipped the ends in purple dye. Placing the majority of them down the back of the doll, a small amount was carefully stitched into swept bangs that ended under the mass of "hair" behind the head.
Digging through my buttons, I found two slightly mismatched purple buttons (this was not on purpose, I knew I should of kept more than one spare from my clothes), these became her eyes.
my material scraps were somewhat better, bright red velvet became her heart shaped lips, purple and white satin became her layered heart, sewn on with contrasting thread.
I lay the doll down carefully and rummaged around looking for pins.
Two pins found her heart, where I seemed to weave them in to form an X (for the feelings we'll never share). Four more pins were stuck top and bottom of each eye (because you are blind to me). Finally, a length of bright red wool was tied tightly around her waist (for the body I'll never be able to touch).
She was finished.
Smiling to myself, I sat her carefully on the table next to my bed with a small supply of pins and string kept close by.
Now for the journal. I have a habit of collecting random notebooks and after searching on the internet, found out that blue and cows were often used to portray lust. I looked through my bookshelves but came up with nothing. The local stationary shop the next day did turn up a notebook with a cow image on the cover.
After work that night, I sat the doll in attractive lighting and took a photo to put on the front page of the journal. I don't know why I did that, but it seemed like the right thing to do.
If I had any belief in the doll, I'd be wondering if kissing it before bed would help her notice me. But I don't. But the journal writing helped a bit. Maybe I'll get a good nights sleep tonight.
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Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:43 am
Her First Day of Work took her to work. I don't know why, but it seemed right to tuck her into my bag just before leaving my house this morning. My boss smiled when he saw the white face peeking out at him. "So you took my advice huh?" he asked. I just shrugged, "It seemed like more than than seeing a shrink." This made him laugh and he suggested sitting it next to the cash register as a mini-mascot for the day. Since I didn't see any harm in it, I sat her comfortably there.
Most of the day went along normally, and regular customers loved seeing her sitting there. My lunch break was always taken late, when the rush from the offices around us were done sending people over with orders. I went to sit in my usual spot, a booth as far away from the door as you can get, with a view across the street. Lunch today was a chicken panini and I had unknowingly grabbed the doll on my way to the booth. After eating the meal, I let my gaze drift across the road where the usual crowd of suits was going outside for the after lunch smoke break. Then there she was, following them out, even though I knew she didn't smoke.
Her hips swayed seductively, the just above knee-high skirt waving slightly and cropped top showing her belly button piercing to the roaming eyes of the guys. Her dead-straight hair swished as she moved and I longed to reach out and touch it, to brush it, braid it... I looked down at my hands and found myself stroking the dolls hair, lightly braiding it, straightening it out again only to repeat the process.
I watched her until she went back inside after flirting with nearly every guy around her and sighed. A glance at my watch told me that my break was nearly over so I gathered my things and put the doll back beside the register. My boss looked at her a bit more carefully, turning her over in his huge hands. "You know what she reminds me of? I mean, other than the girl across the road." I shook my head. "I read a story as a child, native indian based I believe, and it told of a woman called Misae who gave her life to save her village from evil spirits. I'm not saying that is what this doll symbolizes, but it just came to mind when I looked at her." I thought about this story for a bit and looked carefully at her. "I guess she could be a Misae. It wouldn't hurt to name her would it?"
Misae happily sat in her spot til the end of the day and as I was clearing down tables before leaving, I was asked if I could bring her in every day. Apparently the customers loved seeing her there. I joked back, suggesting that he start paying her too, only to be replied to with laughter.
Back at home, I played with Misae's hair again before cutting off a length of ribbon from the leftovers of her "belt" and used it to tie her hair into pigtails before setting her down beside my bed again.
"Goodnight dear doll, we're back to work tomorrow."
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Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:43 am
There She Is he came into the cafe. I couldn't believe it.
It had started as a regular day, Misae was tucked in by the cash register and I was behind it, serving customers. It was a busy lunch period and I barely glanced at the customers as I got their orders and argued with the cash drawer. A laugh that sounded like the tinkling of bells pealed down the line, forcing me to look up. A gentle swish of the hair and her purple contacted eyes met mine, making me instantly break the eyecontact and fumble the next order.
Finally she was standing in front of me, a lollipop lightly hanging from her perfect lips which she used to swirl it around slightly with an occasional suck. I knew she was teasing the guy in the line behind her yet part of me hoped it was also for me.
"A Ham panini and a lemon merangue" she said slightly huskily. It didn't take me long to get her order ready and settle her bill. But instead of leaving, she had obviously decided to wait for the guy. She turned towards him slightly and leaned back against the counter, showing her body at it's best to him. I was almost tempted to cover Misae's eyes, and I know I would of hidden her from the obvious display in front of her if I felt that she could see it.
She pretended to flatten her dress, adust her top and play with her candy, all the time keeping one eye on the guy I was serving. Of course, he couldn't take his eyes off her and I'm sure a bulge appeared in his pants.
Eventually the two of them left. I grabbed Misae and went out to the back room where I grabbed a safty pin and threaded it though her lips. "Not more lollipops or sweet laughter please"
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:19 am
Is this real?
This can't be happening.. this can't be happening.. can it?
It started out like a normal day, taking Misae to work, sitting her behind the counter and doing my waitressing job for the day. It was quiet at work and it was during a time when there was no one in the shop when my boss called me over and just pointed at Misae.
I looked at her, shrugged and turned away before slowly turning back.
she wasn't the cuddly doll I had placed there this morning.. she had changed. Her Button eyes were blinking innocently at me and her heart shaped mouth had curled into a soft smile. The slight suggestions of arms and legs had elongated into recognizable limbs. "Misae?" I asked softly, not knowing why I expected a reply. A slight nod answered me and I resisted the urge to jump in shock. I reached out to touch her and two arms reached back for mine. Picking her up carefully, I could feel her breathing in my hands. I turned to my boss who was having a hard time getting over this shock.
"She's alive isn't she?" he asked quietly. I replied with a nod and she smiled at him, reaching for his arms. He reached out one of his giant hands to her and I sat her on it. "What am I going to do with a living voodoo doll now? I can't really keep bringing her into work can I?" By this point, he was inspecting her and shrugged. "I can't see why not. I think the customers will think of her as a novelty. Maybe we can teach her to get their food from the display, she is small enough to fit in there."
I couldn't help but stare at him. "You're not serious are you? We don't even know if she can walk or hold things yet." In his response, he placed her on the top of the display case, holding her upright with one hand and holding the tip of her arms with the other. "Steady now.. steady..." he talked as if talking to a frightened animal. Slowly but surely, he relaxed his hold on her body, seeing if she would hold herself up. Both of us were surprised when she did and the smile of joy on her face was plain to see. "She likes it" he sad as he let go of her arms.
She moved her arms a bit before holding them in front of her face, then she looked down and moved her legs a bit. Then she looked at me and waved, her smile of delight never vanishing. Then she did something I never expected (as if her becoming alive was ><), she winked at me. This had my boss falling over in laughter and all I could do was glare at him. In between gasps for breath, he managed to choke out, "Shes.. flirting.. already... just.. like... HER!!" I wanted to bop him one on the head right then.
She was watching him very carefully before she too started laughing, in a giggle that sounded like the soft sound of a wind chime. It was true happiness in that soft sound that I had to smile. Then it hit me, she had a voice.. if she could laugh, then surely she could speak?
"Misae," I said carefully. "Can you talk?"
"M.. Miss.. Miss-ay" came the gentle voice from the doll. My jaw dropped, along with my bosses. Misae moved over to me, a look of curiousity on her face. "Miss-ay?" I nodded, she knew her name well enough. Then she pointed at me, "Miss-ay?" Then I understood. "No, I'm not Misae, that's your name. I'm DeeJay."
"Dee.. Dee-ay?" She truly made me smile with her attempt at my name and I decided to accept her way of saying it. At my nod, she turned to my boss. "Dee-ay?" He cracked up again before shaking his head. "I'm Harold." Misae's mouth frowned at the name and I could almost see her thinking about how to say it before she spoke. "Hair-ol?"
That set me off, I was laughing, making a mental note to call him "Hair-oil" to bug him.
It took her a few more attempts before he realized that he would be stuck with "hair-ol" for a name until she got used to it.
We spent the rest of the day teaching her the words for the various menu items in the display case before we realized that the day had passed and had remained quiet. We thought nothing of it and I carefully packed Misae on top of my backpack to take her home.
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