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 Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:45 am
There's nothing wrong with wanting another baby right away. Especially given your situation. I've had friends in similar situations, and when people give them the "I can't belive you're doing that. You're insane." look, they camly explain their situation and nine time out of ten the judgemental beastie feels like a s**t for being that way about it. Go for it. What works for you, and your reasons for doing it are all yours, and no one has the right to judge. ESPECIALLY if they don't know your situation. If they do know and still judge you as a 'bad' person/mother, screw them. It's not their choice anyway...
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:46 am
About the fighting and the age seperation.
My brother and I are three years apart Apr 8th/March 18th and at a certain period of our lives we fought eachother tooth and nail, we yelled, hit, cursed, all kinds of nasty stuff.
At one point my mother was so worried and felt so bad (she confided in me) that she had raised us wrong and that we were mean and confrontational.
But really, it was just sibling rivalry all natural. I think at some point Almost ALL kids are going to exhibit SOME level of sibling rivalry. And a lot of kids fight...really fight with one another.
Now though my brother and I are really close and we've been close about the time I started highschool.
So I don't think spacing is necessarily a predeterminer to how much your kids are going to fight.
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:19 am
Well, a 12 year old really won't fight with a 6 year old the same way a 7 year old will fight with a 6 year old. That's my point razz If anyone told me their children never fought once their whole lives, I would assume that they are less than 2 years old or the person is lying razz Me and my little brother fight now (I'm 23 and he's 6), but NOTHING like my other brother and I fight. What me and Chris normally end up doing is him purposely disobeying me or being a smart alec *following me around and poking me even after I ask him to stop, and of course I do get mad* But nothing ever resorts to violence. My other brother... I could probably double the posts of this guild with the horror stories about us.
My point wasn't supposed to deter your decision of having another child so soon. It was just a warning of things to come razz
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:28 pm
I just know I don't want an 8 year gap like between me and my half sister.
Plus, my dad is getting married this week, and both he and his new wife want kids... My little brother or sister would be younger than my son, and possibly younger than *both* my kids, if they wait a year. eek
I was thinking of the benefits - like Loki said, get the diaper stuff done quickly, then you don't have to deal with it.
I also kind of like the idea of having the younger one befre the older on starts remembering things - I don't remember anything before my second birthday, and even the memories I have that far back are very vague. Then you don't get the new baby jealousy syndrome.
My husband and his close siblings - well, the 2 closest to him never fought, but the one two siblings older and the one two siblings younger... oooh, they were nasties to each other. (in other words, my husband was #3, and fought with 1 and 5.) He is 17 months younger than #2, and 15 months older than #4.
Either way, I'd like to try to have another. But if I have more tumors in April, it's a moot point.
If that's what happens, then we'll adopt. I guess I'll keep you posted, as spring rolls along.
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Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 7:49 am
My brothers and I are 11 and 12 years apart, and my sister is 10 years older (I think thats how much.... redface ) It's definately different with way older sibblings, because im in my late teens and my bro's are going on 30. It would be nice to have someone close to my age, but i have definately benefited from them being older.
I myself, am waiting a while for my next one... that one i hope will be a planned pregnancy. Most likely i'll need a historectomy (spelling?) when i reach my late 20's-early 30's.
Go for it girl, if you want another, then there is just more love in the house for everyone! heart biggrin
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Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 8:14 pm
These stupid-non refundable uteruses!
Yeah, I think it'll be fun. I'll be hoping for a girl, but another boy would be great, too.
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Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 10:24 am
the dancing kitten These stupid non-refundable uteruses! I'll second that vote! Sometimes i wish i could trade mine in on a hampster. xd
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Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 6:23 pm
good for you. In your situation I would probably do the same. The only problem with small spacing is knowing your own limits. The parents I know with kids close together are always more exhausted than those with big spacing. Also, do you have friends and family to help when you are sick or run down? Does daddy have freedom to help if needed? These are the other questions I would put into the equation. My friend Nicole got pregnant accidentally with #2 when #1 was 3 months old. She hadn't even gotten her period yet. Gosh, I forgot to use protection once around then, you know we were so used to trying and then being pregnant.
She's doing fine with them, but, life is definately more exciting...
Good luck whatever happens. And try not to stress over it... wink
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Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 8:59 pm
My husband has 8 siblings, and all but 1 of those live within 45 minutes of us - plus my husband's work loves him and they never ever want him to quit, so I've got a pretty good support network if I have to crash - I think the biggest milestone is now Walter can eat some solids, so if I have to take a break for a couple hours, he won't freak out about not taking a bottle.
I swear that kid is the most stubborn about bottles and binkys. I gave him a binky yesterday, and he took it out of his mouth, held it by the n****e, and chewed on the handle...
xp
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Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:13 am
It's totally down to you ... I think if you are able to financially and emotionally afford two young children and can provide them with a loving enviroment then you should go for it. My sister and I were born 18 months appart and it took a great emotinal toll on my mum when we were younger. However, she has never regreted it and I am thankful it's really nice to have a sister that is close to my age we are more like friends then sisters.
I wish you all the best in what ever you decide to do.
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Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 5:44 pm
Like some have already mentioned, it's mostly up to the mother. Personally I chose not to have another one so soon because I suffered Post partum depression, I was barely coping with one, could not handle anymore.
2 years later I think I'm finally ready and I'm already planning my second baby for later next year.
Just do what feels right for you ^^
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Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 2:33 am
Rain Yupa Well, a 12 year old really won't fight with a 6 year old the same way a 7 year old will fight with a 6 year old. That's my point razz If anyone told me their children never fought once their whole lives, I would assume that they are less than 2 years old or the person is lying razz Me and my little brother fight now (I'm 23 and he's 6), but NOTHING like my other brother and I fight. What me and Chris normally end up doing is him purposely disobeying me or being a smart alec *following me around and poking me even after I ask him to stop, and of course I do get mad* But nothing ever resorts to violence. My other brother... I could probably double the posts of this guild with the horror stories about us. My point wasn't supposed to deter your decision of having another child so soon. It was just a warning of things to come razz
Now my brother and I are about 22 months apart and we fought a lot. We fought violently, but we grew out of it. It's all about how the parents handle the situation.
You're either going to fight or not. The period of time between two children doesn't always and for the most part really mean all that much unless it's like 20 years... xp
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Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 5:37 am
I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting another baby so soon, especially in your condition.
In fact, as long as you can handle two young children at the same time, it's probably better because it's likely that they will be closer, which is so much better for siblings.
And a huge age-gap between siblings is not good. Even with a comparatively short gap of 5 years between me and my sister, that's still had an impact on our relationship.
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Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 8:42 am
there is nothing wrong with having your babies 17 months apart, in fact that is the perfect timing, they will grow up together and be closer.
I had my first two 11 1/2 month apart, it was hard but they grew up being pretty close. Then 11 years later I had my daughter. They have always been her protector. Now my litttle baby girl is having a baby of her own.
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Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 7:20 pm
If you think you're ready, I say go for it. My two boys are just over two years apart and they get along fine... for two little heathens. stare ... I'm not sure how much of their fighting is really "fighting" or just "rough-housing" especially since their dad likes to roll around on the floor with them and be wild and stuff... It kind of encourages them to act like that. My mom and her sister are only like 14 or 15 months apart and they've always been best friends. I helped my mom put together a scrapbook album of her fondest memories growing up with her sister for her sister's 50th birthday.
My brother and I are three years apart, almost exactly... like three years and 30 minutes... me right before midnight and him just after midnight (so we managed to not be on the exact same day at least)... but we constantly beat on each other. We couldn't get along for anything... except for maybe pizza, but that was only when we were in the elementary school years. ...
My personal opinion on close children: They are more likely to play well together because of the closeness of their age-based interests and development levels, but that is not a rule. ... children certainly don't follow any set rules xd
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