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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 12:36 pm
Apparently a lot of people who don't know my medical situation are looking down on me for planning on getting pregnant again.
Why do people think you're something icky when you mention getting pregnant when you have a baby?
Since there is a very good chance of me needing a hysterectomy within the next 3 years, we've decided to try to get pregnant again after I have the tumors on my cervix removed (if I don't have any more tumors at the follow up appointment. If I do have tumors, then the hysterectomy will come sooner than expected).
So most likely in April we'll begin trying again - if I conceived immediately, the baby would be born when Walter is 17 months old. Knowing me, it might take a few months before it catches.
Is there really anything wrong with spacing your children less than 2 years apart?
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 12:50 pm
the dancing kitten Apparently a lot of people who don't know my medical situation are looking down on me for planning on getting pregnant again. Why do people think you're something icky when you mention getting pregnant when you have a baby? Since there is a very good chance of me needing a hysterectomy within the next 3 years, we've decided to try to get pregnant again after I have the tumors on my cervix removed (if I don't have any more tumors at the follow up appointment. If I do have tumors, then the hysterectomy will come sooner than expected). So most likely in April we'll begin trying again - if I conceived immediately, the baby would be born when Walter is 17 months old. Knowing me, it might take a few months before it catches. Is there really anything wrong with spacing your children less than 2 years apart? There's nothing wrong with it at all. But it's a very good thing you're not getting pregnant again immediately, because your body needs time to recuperate.
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 2:24 pm
I see no problem with it, especially considering your condition. Myself, I'm waiting at least five years, but that's due to our current finacial situation, and our living space. If I didn't have to worry about that, I'd definately try to have another baby sooner.
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 2:25 pm
the dancing kitten Apparently a lot of people who don't know my medical situation are looking down on me for planning on getting pregnant again. Why do people think you're something icky when you mention getting pregnant when you have a baby? Since there is a very good chance of me needing a hysterectomy within the next 3 years, we've decided to try to get pregnant again after I have the tumors on my cervix removed (if I don't have any more tumors at the follow up appointment. If I do have tumors, then the hysterectomy will come sooner than expected). So most likely in April we'll begin trying again - if I conceived immediately, the baby would be born when Walter is 17 months old. Knowing me, it might take a few months before it catches. Is there really anything wrong with spacing your children less than 2 years apart? The faster the babies come, the less time you have to recover, so the harder it is on your body...... My daughter was born by C-section and the doctors recommended that I wait until she was 2 before I tried to get pregnant again. Lots of my friends spaced their kids 2 years or less apart. Didn't hurt them any.
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 2:28 pm
My son is 3 and i dont plan on haveing another , not for a while anyways maybe in a few years when i'm ready for another 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 2:46 pm
My two kiddos are muuuuch less than 2 years apart. My son was born March 27th of '01 and my daughter was born May 21st of '02. The doctors jokingly tell me I have "Irish twins" xd .
Anywho, I see nothing wrong with it. If your body is able and you're emotional and financially ready for another, then by all means, do so. And given your medical situation and possible hystorectomy, then I REALLY see no problem with it at all.
I hate it when others look down at someone for wanting to have more kids.... or that their kids were "born too close."
I have managed just fine with my two and their spacing. The way i look at it, I get to be done with diapers and all the stuff at around the same time and never have to deal with it again.
More power to ya! 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 3:32 pm
Well, in your situation, it's your decision and what's best for you. Now, if you're going by medically, the medical associations recommend you wait till the child is 18 months to try again for your body to fully recover, more energy, etc.
I don't have a problem with people who do have them close, but I've seen a lot of people have a hard time with it and I've found I have a hard time finding energy as it is right now, so we're waiting. Our original plan was to have our children 2 years apart and Logan is 2 now....it just isn't going to work or happen right now.
But there are positives too! Having kids close in age makes them closer, get all the baby stuff out of the way quick and a playmate for a sibling!
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 4:26 pm
Well lets see my older sister and I are 22 months apart. And there is nothing wrong with us. If thats anything to go on. smile Congrats on the desicision to try for another.
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 6:34 pm
Well as most of you know I have 5 kids and they are all almost grown up, so I can give alot of advice regarding the subject, but in the end each child is an individual and just because something happens in one family doesn't mean it will turn out like that in different family.
My first 2 kids were only 10 months apart... the first was a girl and the second was a boy. For the most part they got along great and played like best friends until their teen years, but they had alot of the same friends, they were one grade apart in school, so that was fine... and now as adults they still go to each other for advice. Between that son and next child, my daughter are 2 3/4 years apart... when she was first born she was considered a novelity, but it wore off after a while. They'd play with her some as she got to be a toddler, but they were on different levels of play so it wasn't too often.
My next child was born exactly 2 years later, and he was a boy. So he was 4 3/4 years younger then his brother, 2 years younger then his sister and 5 3/4 years younger then his older sister. They showed him off to their siblings and when he was a toddler, they would use him as an excuse to play with the toddler toys. They still get along with him, but he has always seemed mature for his age.
The next child was born 4 1/2 years later was also a boy. There really was no one for him to play with, but I had babysitters..... and mother's helpers. My other kids by then were 4 1/2, 6 1/2, 9 1/4 and 10 when he was born. My daughters ages 6 1/2 and 10 like to pretend he was their doll to play with until he started crying and they couldn't get him to stop.
All my kids were potty trained between the 15 month and 24 month mark, but I think it helped that the oldest potty trained at 15 months, and the other kids as they came up the ranks wanted to be like the oldest so they couldn't wait to get out of diapers so they could be a big kid like their siblings.
All the kids got along with each other, but at times they forget that their youngest brother is still a younger sibling, like with the 4 teenagers, they all like electronic things, and they can't understand at times why their brother still plays with kids toys. That is about the only problem I've run into. The only thing that I can say about outside people is that my kids have all been in the 100% for their age and weight and so most people assume that they are older then they really are and when they were younger people would expect them to be able to do things that they weren't physically old enough to do.
The best piece of advice I can give is to not worry what people outside of you say, especially since they don't know what is going on in your life. They have no place to judge you or decide what is right for you. Whether my kids were 10 months apart or almost 5 years apart, they all did really good and managed to get along with each other and that is what counts the most. That and having lots of love to give.
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 7:46 pm
I don't care when a person decides to have another baby. If the spacing is right for you, then it is right for you. I mean hell, people think I'm insane for even PLANNING ONE baby at 20 years of age as I did. So nuts to them is all I have to say on that.
Me personally, I'd LOVE another baby right now, but I'm on the fence, one day it's "I could totally handle it" to "Oh my god what am I thinking."
I'd really like to get Lissa potty trained, totally. Then I'll think more babies.
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 8:14 pm
Nopenname I don't care when a person decides to have another baby. If the spacing is right for you, then it is right for you. I mean hell, people think I'm insane for even PLANNING ONE baby at 20 years of age as I did. So nuts to them is all I have to say on that. Me personally, I'd LOVE another baby right now, but I'm on the fence, one day it's "I could totally handle it" to "Oh my god what am I thinking." I'd really like to get Lissa potty trained, totally. Then I'll think more babies. i totally agree with your first statment. and i really want Arielle to be closer to three and hopefully potty trained by the time we have #2 if we even do. also, make sure dancing kitten, that you are having another baby when your body and yourself are ready and not because of time-constraints! ^_^
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 12:01 am
my sister and I are only a year apart and she has always been my best friend. I think if it maybe your only chance and you can handle it, you should just ignor nay sayers. Good luck and I hope things work out for you, and your sugery goes well and all.
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 3:44 am
I say go for it Kitten.
there is all sorts of arguements for and against this topic... "oh, its better to wait"... "you should have them closer"....
its all opinions based on expeirence - NOT FACT.
go with what you think is right...... if you're not going to get another chance, and you want another child, the take the chance you have.
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 6:39 am
There is nothing wrong with trying to get pregnant again -- especially if you know you may not have another chance soon. I think that 17 months apart isn't that awful close. I actually want another child now myself. If my baby was born 9 months from now, my son would only be 21 months old.
Your body should be healed by now. =) Good Luck to you!
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:13 am
Me and my brother are almost exactly 18 months apart (June 17th '81 and Dec 22nd '82). So we spent a lot of time together as we grew up, since we were always in the same general thing and liked the same things.
I'll tell you this much: we fought like the dickens. Well, I'm naturally passive and he's aggressive, so it was more him fighting me and I took it. Which is kind of backwards, since I'm the older one *shrugs* The way I figure it, siblins of different genders so close to age is better than same genders... our society does a good job emphasizing gender roles from early on (starting as early as 'pink is for girls, blue is for boys'). Due to that, most boys will tend to have common interests, and most girls will tend to have common interests.
If two children were close in age but different genders, they could always retreat to their OWN things. If the son didn't want to play with the daughter, he could go play with other boys, likewise with the daughter. If they were the same gender, they'd always want to do the same things, and would constantly be stepping on each other's toes. There would be more fighting, I assure you.
Mind you, this is just a theory based on what I've learned about childhood psychology and my own experiences and observations, not cold hard facts. Oddly enough, this doesn't seem to be the case with twins... not sure why exactly. Probably due to the special bond they tend to have.
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