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After reading your valid points and taking them into consideration, I have compiled a response that will hopefully meet the seal of approval standards.

Jordan was not intended to be passed off as a Herculean Adonis, even if my choice of wording had given that impression. I admit I was being verbose in my vocabulary while it had been written.

As for the ice blue eyes, that was just an unconscious afterthought from my original husky concept, which had been changed to samoyed once I’d learned there was already a husky questor. His eyes can be changed to brown, if that works to create a more realistic character. Brown-eyed, brown-haired would be more appealing in my opinion and more realistic.

As for his maintenance of body and muscle tone, that was something that I admittedly did not detail in the quest thread. It was my thought that the psychological impact of being active in sports left him with a compulsion to continually upkeep his body, if not improve on it, finding it inferior if he were to let it slide into.

The bishie comment is amusing but no, there was no intent to create a bishie character. If that occurred, it was purely coincidental.

In regards to his backstory, his father was an abusive jerk, to him and to his mother. Angry, violent, ill-tempered, bitter that his fifteen minutes in the sun are over. His glory days had long ended and now he had the chance to relive those days through his only child. Considering his father is trying to relive his own high school football days through his son, it would make more sense for him to feel pride and treat him like one of the guys after that. I concede to that valid point most definitely.

His mother works two jobs, making her unavailable for the majority of his life, even though she would rather see her only child grow up. That’s just not a possibility for her since her husband can’t hold down a job long enough to contribute to the household. Yes, she resents what Jordan’s father represents and she does not know about the physical and psychological abuse her son has been put through. She stays with Jordan’s father till her son has graduated from high school, unaware of the deeper secrets kept from her. Jordan’s father does threaten him to keep the abuse quiet from his mother, threatening him with further physical beating. I do apologize if it made the overall concept less believable.

As for why he would want to work with Feral? That’s simple: new experience, further pursuit of academic knowledge in his field, and the hope for better pay, despite his convictions. The world doesn’t accept good intentions when it comes time to pay the rent and buy groceries. Now, as Jordan is naïve and does hold a world view differently than reality, he could very well be shocked or even mortified by the realizations of Feral’s practices, but he’d be too intimidated to turn down what he had believed a better opportunity.

Bruno Moretti –as briefly mentioned- is the alias that Tzell’s character, Adam Keller, had assumed when he entered America and worked in Feral. Jordan would have no clue that Bruno was a false identity and would not recognize the name Adam Keller. Being it was Adam Keller’s first expedition to America, he needed someone he believed was knowledgable enough to aid him and not knowing otherwise there were more qualified people to use, Adam Keller –under the guise of Bruno Moretti- conned Jordan into aiding him and it snowballs from there.

I do hope this has been informative and helpful. It was actually rather fun to write this response and fill in the gaps that I had overlooked. I thank you very much for pointing those errors out to me so they could (hopefully) be rectified.