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 Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 9:31 am
Eltanin Sadachbia rmcdra That's a new perspective for me. Thank you. WOW! eek I feel like I accomplished something grand today! rofl This is awesome to me! heart Yeah, me too. It's pretty smexy. My best feature, if I do say so myself... Don't go lusting after it though. We know where that leads dramallama rolleyes But anyways... Thanks! mrgreen XD
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 1:36 pm
I'm a bit curious as to what you all think about kink and BDSM. I, personally, don't think there's anything wrong with being kinky and living out your fantasies, as long as you do so in a way that is not negligent about safety and is done with consent.
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Lord Alucard Ere Casanova
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:22 pm
LinyBeany I'm a bit curious as to what you all think about kink and BDSM. I, personally, don't think there's anything wrong with being kinky and living out your fantasies, as long as you do so in a way that is not negligent about safety and is done with consent. I agree. So long as nobody gets hurt (maybe unless that is what they like) and everyone involved gives/has consent to do whatever they're doing. To me, so far as I am concerned, what happens in the private rooms of romantically involved people is between them and them alone. That's my personal opinion.
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 7:36 pm
LinyBeany I'm a bit curious as to what you all think about kink and BDSM. I, personally, don't think there's anything wrong with being kinky and living out your fantasies, as long as you do so in a way that is not negligent about safety and is done with consent. as long as you are safe and arent afraid to call it quits if it gets to be too much, and nothing horrible is happening then i dont really care what you do.
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Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 4:31 pm
Not really a sex question but....
To the males (or females, if you'd like): Have you ever tried to get a male friend or acquaintance to stop objectifying women. I ask because last week while at my school a friend introduced me to this guy (not to date or anything; he recently joined a club of which I am part). Long story short, he has a "try before you buy" mentality for women. Ironically, when we first met he said how he was a member of Gentlemen of Quality (GQ, for short). I have other male friends who are/were part of this, and put this boy to shame, so this doesn't necessarily reflect badly on that group. But I would like to know, do any of my brothers in Christ intervene when confronted with such other men in the faith? If you have, how did that go? Ladies chime in too.
To this particular guy I said something liek, "Wow. You managed to dehumanize and sexually objectify women all at the same time." He replied, "But you think the same, right". And I said "No."
I highly doubt I'll ever take him seriously. I admit I probably unjustly don't take seriously almost any guy younger than me, but I've been surprised and proven wrong in the past. Sadly, he doesn't seem an exception despite his "GQ" status.
t.i.a. for the replies
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Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 7:30 pm
Gjornia X Not really a sex question but.... To the males (or females, if you'd like): Have you ever tried to get a male friend or acquaintance to stop objectifying women. I ask because last week while at my school a friend introduced me to this guy (not to date or anything; he recently joined a club of which I am part). Long story short, he has a "try before you buy" mentality for women. Ironically, when we first met he said how he was a member of Gentlemen of Quality (GQ, for short). I have other male friends who are/were part of this, and put this boy to shame, so this doesn't necessarily reflect badly on that group. But I would like to know, do any of my brothers in Christ intervene when confronted with such other men in the faith? If you have, how did that go? Ladies chime in too. To this particular guy I said something liek, "Wow. You managed to dehumanize and sexually objectify women all at the same time." He replied, "But you think the same, right". And I said "No." I highly doubt I'll ever take him seriously. I admit I probably unjustly don't take seriously almost any guy younger than me, but I've been surprised and proven wrong in the past. Sadly, he doesn't seem an exception despite his "GQ" status. t.i.a. for the replies I've been faced with that. I usually tell guys like that off for being immoral and rude. The result usually is that they'll shun me and likewise I shun them. I can't stand people like that and refuse to associate with them.
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Lord Alucard Ere Casanova
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 6:07 pm
Thou shall not commit adultery
-having sex with anyone outside marriage
-premarital sex
abuse is the right word I'll use here,
abuse = sin
Preserving virginity:
sacrifice.
willing to sacrifice lustful desires for God.
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 8:25 pm
II Agape II Thou shall not commit adultery -having sex with anyone outside marriage -premarital sex abuse is the right word I'll use here, abuse = sin Preserving virginity: sacrifice. willing to sacrifice lustful desires for God. Not quite the material for this thread but thanks for posting.
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 5:31 pm
Gjornia X Not really a sex question but.... To the males (or females, if you'd like): Have you ever tried to get a male friend or acquaintance to stop objectifying women. I ask because last week while at my school a friend introduced me to this guy (not to date or anything; he recently joined a club of which I am part). Long story short, he has a "try before you buy" mentality for women. Ironically, when we first met he said how he was a member of Gentlemen of Quality (GQ, for short). I have other male friends who are/were part of this, and put this boy to shame, so this doesn't necessarily reflect badly on that group. But I would like to know, do any of my brothers in Christ intervene when confronted with such other men in the faith? If you have, how did that go? Ladies chime in too. To this particular guy I said something liek, "Wow. You managed to dehumanize and sexually objectify women all at the same time." He replied, "But you think the same, right". And I said "No." I highly doubt I'll ever take him seriously. I admit I probably unjustly don't take seriously almost any guy younger than me, but I've been surprised and proven wrong in the past. Sadly, he doesn't seem an exception despite his "GQ" status. t.i.a. for the replies I haven't just met a guy like that, I've BEEN in a relationship with a guy like that. And . . . it was an emotionally abusive relationship. I think it's safe to say that viewpoint is very toxic, not just to women, but also to men. There's a thing out there called 'rape culture', you may have heard of it already. But it's basically a belief system in which sexual violence is excused or even (sadly) encouraged. It assumes a man's default state is a lustful, violent being and women attract or deserve their sexual attention because of how they dress or act, and if they don't consent to sexual activity, the man has the right to sexual violence ('take what's his'). The guy you were introduced to is a perfect example of this kind of terrible belief system. This type of culture stems from dehumanizing both genders, and operates on the basis of assuming things: "Oh, she's showing a lot of skin so clearly she wants me to hit on her!" "I'm a good looking guy so obviously I have the right to sleep with whoever I want however I want and I don't have to face the repercussions." . . . you get the idea. Rape culture can be a lot more subtle than sexual violence--it can be the same kind of mentality that you described, that a guy believes he has the 'right' to sleep with a girl before he even bothers with her. It doesn't help that in our society, guys who have as many partners as they can are commended for their efforts, while girls are shamed for it. It's unfair to women, because rape culture asks us to live in perpetual fear for our bodies and our lives. Rape culture asks us not to expect the same amount of respect we would normally get when we dress in skimpy clothes, even if the guy standing next to us is in nothing but a speedo. It asks us to be wary going home at night and to ALWAYS have someone with us and to ALWAYS make sure we have pepper spray and know self defense, even though the typical guy doesn't have to learn all those things or take those precautions. It blames the victim for the rape, because they 'provoked' it. It's made up of double standards and it's a huge disparity in our society, and it's so integrated that most people don't even realize it. As you can tell this subject makes me kind of angry. ""XD It's hard not to be, though.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 2:29 am
II Agape II Thou shall not commit adultery -having sex with anyone outside marriage -premarital sex
abuse is the right word I'll use here,
abuse = sin
Preserving virginity: sacrifice. willing to sacrifice lustful desires for God. There. Fix'd.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 5:26 am
Kashii_Ai Gjornia X Not really a sex question but.... To the males (or females, if you'd like): Have you ever tried to get a male friend or acquaintance to stop objectifying women. I ask because last week while at my school a friend introduced me to this guy (not to date or anything; he recently joined a club of which I am part). Long story short, he has a "try before you buy" mentality for women. Ironically, when we first met he said how he was a member of Gentlemen of Quality (GQ, for short). I have other male friends who are/were part of this, and put this boy to shame, so this doesn't necessarily reflect badly on that group. But I would like to know, do any of my brothers in Christ intervene when confronted with such other men in the faith? If you have, how did that go? Ladies chime in too. To this particular guy I said something liek, "Wow. You managed to dehumanize and sexually objectify women all at the same time." He replied, "But you think the same, right". And I said "No." I highly doubt I'll ever take him seriously. I admit I probably unjustly don't take seriously almost any guy younger than me, but I've been surprised and proven wrong in the past. Sadly, he doesn't seem an exception despite his "GQ" status. t.i.a. for the replies I haven't just met a guy like that, I've BEEN in a relationship with a guy like that. And . . . it was an emotionally abusive relationship. I think it's safe to say that viewpoint is very toxic, not just to women, but also to men. There's a thing out there called 'rape culture', you may have heard of it already. But it's basically a belief system in which sexual violence is excused or even (sadly) encouraged. It assumes a man's default state is a lustful, violent being and women attract or deserve their sexual attention because of how they dress or act, and if they don't consent to sexual activity, the man has the right to sexual violence ('take what's his'). The guy you were introduced to is a perfect example of this kind of terrible belief system. This type of culture stems from dehumanizing both genders, and operates on the basis of assuming things: "Oh, she's showing a lot of skin so clearly she wants me to hit on her!" "I'm a good looking guy so obviously I have the right to sleep with whoever I want however I want and I don't have to face the repercussions." . . . you get the idea. Rape culture can be a lot more subtle than sexual violence--it can be the same kind of mentality that you described, that a guy believes he has the 'right' to sleep with a girl before he even bothers with her. It doesn't help that in our society, guys who have as many partners as they can are commended for their efforts, while girls are shamed for it. It's unfair to women, because rape culture asks us to live in perpetual fear for our bodies and our lives. Rape culture asks us not to expect the same amount of respect we would normally get when we dress in skimpy clothes, even if the guy standing next to us is in nothing but a speedo. It asks us to be wary going home at night and to ALWAYS have someone with us and to ALWAYS make sure we have pepper spray and know self defense, even though the typical guy doesn't have to learn all those things or take those precautions. It blames the victim for the rape, because they 'provoked' it. It's made up of double standards and it's a huge disparity in our society, and it's so integrated that most people don't even realize it. As you can tell this subject makes me kind of angry. ""XD It's hard not to be, though. Maybe I'm misunderstanding something but how is wanting to know if a partner is sexually compatible is promoting rape culture?
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:42 am
rmcdra Kashii_Ai Gjornia X Not really a sex question but.... To the males (or females, if you'd like): Have you ever tried to get a male friend or acquaintance to stop objectifying women. I ask because last week while at my school a friend introduced me to this guy (not to date or anything; he recently joined a club of which I am part). Long story short, he has a "try before you buy" mentality for women. Ironically, when we first met he said how he was a member of Gentlemen of Quality (GQ, for short). I have other male friends who are/were part of this, and put this boy to shame, so this doesn't necessarily reflect badly on that group. But I would like to know, do any of my brothers in Christ intervene when confronted with such other men in the faith? If you have, how did that go? Ladies chime in too. To this particular guy I said something liek, "Wow. You managed to dehumanize and sexually objectify women all at the same time." He replied, "But you think the same, right". And I said "No." I highly doubt I'll ever take him seriously. I admit I probably unjustly don't take seriously almost any guy younger than me, but I've been surprised and proven wrong in the past. Sadly, he doesn't seem an exception despite his "GQ" status. t.i.a. for the replies I haven't just met a guy like that, I've BEEN in a relationship with a guy like that. And . . . it was an emotionally abusive relationship. I think it's safe to say that viewpoint is very toxic, not just to women, but also to men. There's a thing out there called 'rape culture', you may have heard of it already. But it's basically a belief system in which sexual violence is excused or even (sadly) encouraged. It assumes a man's default state is a lustful, violent being and women attract or deserve their sexual attention because of how they dress or act, and if they don't consent to sexual activity, the man has the right to sexual violence ('take what's his'). The guy you were introduced to is a perfect example of this kind of terrible belief system. This type of culture stems from dehumanizing both genders, and operates on the basis of assuming things: "Oh, she's showing a lot of skin so clearly she wants me to hit on her!" "I'm a good looking guy so obviously I have the right to sleep with whoever I want however I want and I don't have to face the repercussions." . . . you get the idea. Rape culture can be a lot more subtle than sexual violence--it can be the same kind of mentality that you described, that a guy believes he has the 'right' to sleep with a girl before he even bothers with her. It doesn't help that in our society, guys who have as many partners as they can are commended for their efforts, while girls are shamed for it. It's unfair to women, because rape culture asks us to live in perpetual fear for our bodies and our lives. Rape culture asks us not to expect the same amount of respect we would normally get when we dress in skimpy clothes, even if the guy standing next to us is in nothing but a speedo. It asks us to be wary going home at night and to ALWAYS have someone with us and to ALWAYS make sure we have pepper spray and know self defense, even though the typical guy doesn't have to learn all those things or take those precautions. It blames the victim for the rape, because they 'provoked' it. It's made up of double standards and it's a huge disparity in our society, and it's so integrated that most people don't even realize it. As you can tell this subject makes me kind of angry. ""XD It's hard not to be, though. Maybe I'm misunderstanding something but how is wanting to know if a partner is sexually compatible is promoting rape culture? I don't think she is getting at, when two adults consent to it, but when one is consent and the other is believed to be. Or the idea, if she says no, and means it, then she is just playing hard to get. More along the lines of Peer pressure, than social cultrue But, to this... it is played out on both sides. I have found guys and gals to do it. Sad, but true, statement; sex sells. Plain and simple. Is it right, no... but, doesn't stop it. The only difference, is you have to find someone who makes you happy. The world will care for it's self, and thus rarely ever change. But, if you want to wait... find someone who will wait with you. With nearly 7 billion people in the world, odds are their will be one. Being angry over something you can't change, is the same as being angry over your right foot being on your left.
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 2:38 pm
glitterboypilot I don't think she is getting at, when two adults consent to it, but when one is consent and the other is believed to be. Or the idea, if she says no, and means it, then she is just playing hard to get. More along the lines of Peer pressure, than social cultrue But, to this... it is played out on both sides. I have found guys and gals to do it. Sad, but true, statement; sex sells. Plain and simple. Is it right, no... but, doesn't stop it. The only difference, is you have to find someone who makes you happy. The world will care for it's self, and thus rarely ever change. But, if you want to wait... find someone who will wait with you. With nearly 7 billion people in the world, odds are their will be one. Being angry over something you can't change, is the same as being angry over your right foot being on your left. I get all that, but I'm not seeing what rape culture has to do with this. How is wanting premarital sex in and of itself sexist? Again maybe I'm misunderstanding something.
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 3:45 pm
rmcdra glitterboypilot I don't think she is getting at, when two adults consent to it, but when one is consent and the other is believed to be. Or the idea, if she says no, and means it, then she is just playing hard to get. More along the lines of Peer pressure, than social cultrue But, to this... it is played out on both sides. I have found guys and gals to do it. Sad, but true, statement; sex sells. Plain and simple. Is it right, no... but, doesn't stop it. The only difference, is you have to find someone who makes you happy. The world will care for it's self, and thus rarely ever change. But, if you want to wait... find someone who will wait with you. With nearly 7 billion people in the world, odds are their will be one. Being angry over something you can't change, is the same as being angry over your right foot being on your left. I get all that, but I'm not seeing what rape culture has to do with this. How is wanting premarital sex in and of itself sexist? Again maybe I'm misunderstanding something. I actually don't know if this is still part of my first post. (lol, too much quoting going on... :p) Personally, desiring premarital sex is not sexist like desiring a burger is not pro-animal cruelty. However, it is part of an entitlement mentality. Usually it's portrayed in American's desire for material things but sex, too. I was taken aback and offended that he thought I would share his notion. It's pretty sad when that is a guy's base assumption when he meets someone. I feel bad for both the guy and the girl in the relationship ; that is essentially self-degradation, poor self-control, and ego. But I've accepted that this is how the world works, though I don't get it. @glitterboy: Thanks! I know guys who are not like that, who feel like I do. I just always find myself dumbfounded when approached by the other type. It makes me think of that 'what does darkness have to do with light' verse. My confusion is a testament to that verse :p
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:08 pm
Gjornia X rmcdra glitterboypilot I don't think she is getting at, when two adults consent to it, but when one is consent and the other is believed to be. Or the idea, if she says no, and means it, then she is just playing hard to get. More along the lines of Peer pressure, than social cultrue But, to this... it is played out on both sides. I have found guys and gals to do it. Sad, but true, statement; sex sells. Plain and simple. Is it right, no... but, doesn't stop it. The only difference, is you have to find someone who makes you happy. The world will care for it's self, and thus rarely ever change. But, if you want to wait... find someone who will wait with you. With nearly 7 billion people in the world, odds are their will be one. Being angry over something you can't change, is the same as being angry over your right foot being on your left. I get all that, but I'm not seeing what rape culture has to do with this. How is wanting premarital sex in and of itself sexist? Again maybe I'm misunderstanding something. I actually don't know if this is still part of my first post. (lol, too much quoting going on... :p) Personally, desiring premarital sex is not sexist like desiring a burger is not pro-animal cruelty. However, it is part of an entitlement mentality. Usually it's portrayed in American's desire for material things but sex, too. I was taken aback and offended that he thought I would share his notion. It's pretty sad when that is a guy's base assumption when he meets someone. I feel bad for both the guy and the girl in the relationship ; that is essentially self-degradation, poor self-control, and ego. But I've accepted that this is how the world works, though I don't get it. @glitterboy: Thanks! I know guys who are not like that, who feel like I do. I just always find myself dumbfounded when approached by the other type. It makes me think of that 'what does darkness have to do with light' verse. My confusion is a testament to that verse :p Okay that's the part that wasn't clear. It wasn't clear that the guy felt entitled to it. Now I understand what you mean better.
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