Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'm 13 I really love my girlfriend and i was just wondering how to approach the question, she told me that she trusts me and she said she doesn't trust many people, i love her so much and I don't want this question to make her feel uncomfortable at all and i'm sure that she loves me because she tells me a lot and we are always intimate in a non-sexual way.

thanks for advice i wouldn't trust this with anyone else ^^

Everyone is ready at different ages. The vast majority of people are not ready at 13, but a few are. However, if you're not sure how to even talk about it yet, you might not be ready to actually do it. Sexual activity requires a certain level of comfort and communication. You have to be able to talk about what you want, what feels good, STD protection, etc. When you start having vaginal sex, you'll have to be able to talk about all those things and birth control, what you would do if there was an accidental pregnancy, etc.

I would say yes, 13 is way too young to be having oral sex. As Lorien said, some people are ready for it at that age, but most teenagers aren't. I know I would personally be shocked and upset if my 13 year old daughter told me she was being sexually active with her boyfriend.

I had sexual intercourse at 17, but I think I started oral sex when I was 16. We were careful with the oral sex, and we didn't start having intercourse until we'd been dating for over a year and I'd been on birth control (the Pill) for a couple of months.

If you are not ready to talk to your girlfriend about having oral sex, then you're not ready for sex of any kind. If you are not ready to talk to her about what she likes, what she's comfortable with, and what she wants to do with you, then you're not ready. Should you decide to have sexual intercourse together, if you cannot talk to her about it, if you can't talk about STD prevention and getting birth control to protect yourselves, you're not ready.

If you're happy talking to your girlfriend and hugging her, why not keep it there for now? Why should you rush to have sex at your age when things are happy and comfortable the way they are now? Sex doesn't automatically cement a relationship and make it better - sometimes it can make a relationship awkward, or destroy it altogether. Maybe it'd be better to keep your relationship the way it is now until you're both older. 3nodding

If you're going to have oral sex, you can check out this sticky. And if you want alternatives to being sexually active, you can take a look at this sticky.

We can't stop you and your girlfriend from deciding to be sexually active, but we ask that you both think about it long and hard before you do. There's so much more to protecting yourselves and being careful aside from "getting a job and confronting your parents" if anything goes wrong. You need to do your research before you do anything sexual together. There's lots of stickies in this guild, and the internet can be a great source of information too.

okay i appreciate the advice i'm not that i really wanted to have oral its just because i get an urge sometimes and masturbation isn't enough i will look through those stickys thanks <3

Y'know there really is no problem in simply asking, if you guys love and trust eachother like you say, i don't think she will have a problem with you asking. just respect her decision no matter what it is, do that and she will start to see how you respect her wishes and that will bring you two even closer together.

that's not weird at all, my girlfriend makes me feel the same way. yesterday i wrote her a 15 message long text telling her how she makes me feel.

ok but we are getting off topic so if you would like to continue this conversation PM me

thanks that really helped, i'm phoning my girlfriend now ^^

pssh lucky, my girlfriend is in a foster home, they only let her on the phone for 30 minutes a day