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 Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 11:01 am
QUEST
Why had he been so nervous? Just like with Gabe, Henry had his hand curled tightly around the knob to Ethiriel’s room, nearly afraid to open it. She had been out a couple times today to take care of Nedhudir’s needs, but she didn’t say a single word to Henry or his brother. The silence was almost becoming unbearable – while the house was usually tame and soft, this was a new kind of quiet; uncomfortable, unwelcoming. February was almost over, meaning that the hike with Candice and the kids was just around the corner, but since Cesc’s last visit there had been little improvement.
Finally, slowly, he cracked open the door and peeked in. As per usual, it seemed, Ethiriel laid beneath a mountain of sheets that she had bundled, herself, with Nedhudir curled up at the foot of the bed. The room was still and, like before, uncomfortably quiet. The Frei had heard the door but did not respond.
”Ethiriel? Can we talk for a minute?” Henry asked, still only with his head in the door and his hand on the knob. There was no response from Ethiriel save for a slight adjustment in position; she remained under the covers, however, and all that could be heard was a quiet but harsh sigh.
Nedhudir looked up expectantly of Henry, waiting for him to enter the room. He, himself, mimicked his owner’s mood and remained laying down despite his perked ears. The nurse offered him a sympathetic smile before stepping into the room fully, shutting the door behind him. It was still cold, the chilly winter air seeping through the room despite the heater being on – something he would have to look into later. It was no wonder Ethiriel had bundled herself up so tight.
Taking a few steps forward, Henry hesitated at the foot of Ethiriel’s bed, unsure of whether he should sit quite yet or not. He lovingly rubbed the collie’s crown, tousling his ears carefully.
There was still no response from Ethiriel.
With a sigh, Henry finally decided to sit between the dog and his master, placing both hands, palm down, against his knees. He waited in silence for any sign of life; a shift, a breath, a word. Nothing. He hadn’t even heard her speak out a message for Cesc at all today – was she not talking to him again, too? Lightly tapping his knee idly, he changed a glance at the bundle.
”Please stop,” the Frei finally said, hardly moving from her spot beneath the comforters.
Henry perked, brows raised and lips pursed in thought. ”You can hear that?” he asked, genuinely interested. When she first came out of surgery, it seemed like a lot of Ethiriel’s senses had been dulled to make up for their new companion. However, he had never put much thought into just how good her sense of hearing was – perhaps it had gotten even better now that her sight was much weaker than before. He had no way of knowing, but it was an interesting thought – something he would have to write down in his next report for the Lab.
After waiting a moment for a response to his question, Henry continued, ”I wanna talk to you about something.”
Again, no response.
”I’d like to apologize… for how smothering I’ve been. You came here under rocky circumstances and I just wanted to be a good guardian to you, even though we hit it off on the wrong foot,” said Henry, looking away from the lump Ethiriel created and instead down at his knees. Taking a breath, the nurse closed his eyes. Why was he so nervous? It was like telling a patient that there was no hope and it dug at his heart. ”You’re your own person; you don’t need me doting on you constantly. I know you can do well on your own.”
There was a shift, but no words. Henry took this as a sign to continue.
”I’m here for you, Ethiriel. I know things are tough, but we can get through it. I won’t leave you, but I’ll give you the space you need. The silence you want.”
”…I’m being childish.”
Henry adjusted, one leg off of the bed while the other bent at the knee, leaning on his thigh. He said nothing, waiting for Ethiriel to explain herself, to get her own chance to continue, and he was beyond attentive.
After a moment of continued silence, Henry responded, ”I think it’s kind of appropriate. The thing you wanted most was taken away from you so suddenly. You didn’t have much time to prepare.”
Ha… the thing she wanted most. Ethiriel scoffed silently beneath the sheets but caught herself, knowing she was being too negative. There was one thing she wanted more than sight and it seemed like it would stay out of reach forever. She didn’t voice this, however, and moved on to Henry’s topic.
”No… I should be more mature than this. I thought it unfair, but what would I know of fairness in the world at my age. I need to behave better.”
”It’s okay, Ethir—“
”No, it’s not.”
Slumping in posture, Henry bit his lower lip in thought. He had to admit that she was childish in this endeavor; refusing food and the company of others, hardly accepting her own pet – it was very immature, but, as someone who worked with children, it wasn’t new to him. Perhaps he had been so used to it, it had gone unnoticed.
Standing, Henry took a step closer to Ethiriel’s side of the bed and slowly began peeling sheets off one by one. Ethiriel made no effort to stop him as he did so, lying lifelessly against her side. The entire time she had kept her silver withdrawn so as to not damage the sheets or mattress on the rare occasion that she would adjust; and, to be honest, Henry greatly appreciated that. Once she was uncovered and exposed, the nurse kneeled with one knee against the bed. He didn’t sit, but he observed.
The Frei made no attempts to glance around the room or to Henry, facing the closest wall as she breathed softly.
”Does this mean you’ll try harder? To get better?” Henry asked, his own voice low and soft now that they were close. Both of their expressions were serene and calm, and Henry examined Ethiriel’s face as the laid in relative silence.
The only response from eth was the glance toward the bed and an exhale.
Sitting down, Henry lightly ran his fingers through Ethiriel’s hair. She made no effort to stop him, again, and actually visibly relaxed at the touch – perhaps it had been the first time she’d been made contact with since Cesc had visited. The nurse slid his fingers through and down all the way to the ends before smoothing it down.
”It’s okay, you know. I believe you’ll get through this.”
Another exhale, this time met with closed eyes.
”You know, you really scared Gabe,” Henry said, tentatively holding his hand over Ethiriel’s shoulder, silently asking for permission before setting it down, the warmth welcoming against her slightly chilly skin. ”I think you hurt him. Will you apologize?”
Ethiriel’s eyes widened, once open, before closing tightly with furrowed brows. Again she thought of angering him, sending him out of the room… him ripping off his necklace and tossing it to the floor – now, it rested in her hand, away from any danger. Frowning, she buried her face into her covers. After a brief moment, she finally nodded her head yes as she assumed Henry had been watching.
”Soon?”
Another nod.
With another run of his hand, Henry smoothed Ethiriel’s hair and stood up. ”Your hike should be in a couple of days,” he said, moving over to Nedhudir to give him the proper attention that he hadn’t gotten from the nurse prior. ”I’m sure that’ll be a lot of fun.”
”Yeah,” Ethiriel said, surprisingly prompt despite her weak voice. Henry smiled, giving the pooch a quick peck to the forehead before stepping back toward the door.
”Promise me you’ll call for me if you need anything.”
”Yeah…”
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Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:20 am
QUEST
”Are you sure you don’t want help?”
”I am sure.”
”It’s really nothing, I can—“
”Henry.”
”Right, right…”
The hike was a day away, and even though Ethiriel had promised she would go, she wasn’t quite feeling up to it. She still wanted to lie in bed and not move, not speak, not eat… but she had made a promise, and a promise was something she wouldn’t back down from.
Henry stood near the door, arms crossed but twitchy as he fought back the urge to help. Having told Ethiriel just a few days prior that he would stop butting in and let her do her own thing, it was hard for him to just sit and watch as the Frei blindly set herself up. Thankfully she wasn’t folding or packing clothing, but snacks and other prep work for the hike. Candice would be in charge of the kids’ necessities, she had assured both of them, so Ethiriel only had herself to worry about. Henry, on the other hand, lifted a hand to his mouth to idly bite down on his nail.
”I am fine, really,” Ethiriel said, her voice less harsh than it had been. There really wasn’t much she needed other than water and some silver trinkets, as well as the silver coins given to her by Candice on their last hike. She stared at the coins’ front and back – they were well taken care of, free of tarnish and shone brightly in her vision. Scoffing, she felt around her bag for a pocket to tuck them into. ”You need not watch me.”
”I know, I know… but…” Henry floundered, pulling his hand away from his face.
Ethiriel lifted her own hand, pressing a finger gently against her lips to signal Henry to quiet down. She didn’t need his fretting right now, not when she was trying to get better on her own terms, and it was enough stress that she would be around so many other people so soon; she could hardly stand being in the same house as two others right now, even with everyone in separate rooms. She had to admit though, she was kind of excited to see Hyunae again.
Henry took the sign immediately, shutting his lips tight with upturned brows. She still didn’t want to be necessarily friendly right now, it seemed, but the nurse knew that this trip would be good for her. On one last note, he chimed, ”I’ll be in the other room if you need me, but I’ll be leaving to hang out with Aaron soon.”
He wasn’t good at this ‘letting her be’ thing.
It really hadn’t taken her long to pack at all, not with Henry handing over every item thought of and his constant worry. Yes, she had packed enough water. Yes, she had packed enough silver. Yes, she was quite ready for this to happen and, admittedly, for it to be over. At least they were children rather than adults – they weren’t as quick to pass judgement and tended to be a general good vibe for emotions. Adults… they could probably send her back into her own shell if the right word was said. She wouldn’t have to mentally prepare herself as much kids, especially with their prescient for random, unrelated questions and random trains of thought.
Tightening her bag, Ethiriel let it fall over on her bed as she stared at the complete blank that was her vision now. She sighed as she sat beside it, her hand idly playing with the straps. Was she actually ready for this?
She remembered Cesc and Zurine kissing again so clearly in her mind and Ethiriel sighed again. Why had she let her feelings slip to the stag? Was his aura able to make her slip into confidence? Now it would have to be discussed in the future and the silvery Frei wasn’t sure if she was mentally prepared for that, either. Their kiss… would he someday share that with her? The longer she thought about it, the less likely it seemed. Maybe owl and stag were meant to get back together, to be happy with one another. Ethiriel’s eyes fluttered for a moment as she thought it over and, somehow, it made her feel a little more content.
In one motion, Ethiriel reached over for her nightstand and pulled out the drawer. Near the top, shining brightly, were Cesc’s necklace and Zuri’s bracelet. The Raevan stared at them for just a moment before scooping both up with her hands.
If they were happy… what did it matter? Ethiriel should be happy for them in any case. She couldn’t get what she wanted, but did that mean she couldn’t be friends with either of them? Could she live with them being happy together without her in the picture? No… no, she had to stay friends at the very least. She needed Cesc in her life and, as long as she’d known Zurine, she longed to be friends with the owl. Their friendship was more important than her emotional needs, she thought as she slipped the bracelet over her dainty hand. Ethiriel examined it hanging off of her wrist for a moment before wrapping the necklace around her neck.
Yes… it hurt, rather badly, but she would live with this. It was like a weight lifted from her shoulders.
With her accessories in tow, Ethiriel reclined herself down onto her bed, a hand idly scratching Nedhudir’s head at the foot of the bed. She had a “family” that loved her, a faithful companion and good friends… It was high time that the Frei grew up. Everyone had always commented on how mature she was, how refined, how delicate… but with how she had been acting lately, one would never have guessed. How could she let herself act so spoiled? So childish? It was unbecoming, even if she was no longer actively trying to be “ladylike.”
Slowly and carefully, Ethiriel pulled out her phone and held it at her torso, thinking it over. After a brief pause, she lifted it up to vocally navigate. There were a few messages from Cesc that she hadn’t checked, but what made her heart drop were her missed messages from Aadhira and Cruz as they played aloud: "princess, are you alright?" “Ethiriel?" Then, the last one broke her heart: "I suppose even princesses get too busy." The croc’s messages were similar: "How are you?" "Busy?" "Hope you're having fun!" "Here if you want to talk." They were filled with strangely placed capitals and misspelled, leaving their pronunciations askew.
Between many of the texts, Cruz would have called a few times.
Some voicemails left were very innocent, like him just singing, "Thrieil~" "It's Cruuuuz, call me back when you can please!"
The last one, left after the last text, would be him trying to keep a positive tone but expressed blatant worry.
"Hey. Know I didn't check in for a long time but I said I'd do it more, so - this is me checking in. Sorry if it's annoying, you're probably just busy and that's okay! Just don't want you to think I'm not here. Again... So, yeah. Let me know if you need anything or want to talk. Hope things are good!"
Wincing again, Ethiriel cradled the phone between her hands and sighed. She’d really messed things up this time. How was she going to make this up to them?
After a moment of thought, she said, ”Text Rhedefre.”
”Message.”
”Rhede, after my hike tomorrow, I would like to speak with you. Soon.”
Shortly after, she did the same for Cruz and Aadhira.
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Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:38 am
QUESTBatter UpFor some guy time and to clear his head, Henry heads up to the batting cages with Aaron Holmes and both end up helping each other.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2016 5:08 pm
QUESTSomewhere NewAfter being convinced to go on this trip, Ethiriel is packed up by Candice and taken to a three day hike with her school kids.
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2016 7:11 pm
QUESTFallen HopeUpon returning to the cabin after a hike, things don't seem to be clearing up for Ethiriel and Hyunae.
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2016 6:42 am
QUEST
”Hyunae!”
🍂
Ethiriel had barely touched her silver. Her anger had settled back into sadness and Hyunae's words stung her still. What was she to do? How had things gone so wrong? Her poor behavior was the catalyst without a doubt. The Frei clenched her fists against the table as she stared at her undisturbed meal. She had barely even registered the noise of the children surrounding her.
She wanted to right things but for the life of her, she couldn't figure out how. Ethiriel made it seem like losing her sight was the worst thing that could have happened to her – and there were plenty worse things that could have happened.
She even directed her anger toward the young girl and he didn't deserve a word of it.
Unfolding her hands, Ethiriel splayed her fingers and pressed her palms against the table. Taking a deep breath, the Frei closed her eyes in thought. Maybe she deserved this from Hyunae. Maybe this was all coming back as karma. Tuning out the bustle of the cafeteria around her, she picked up one of her tarnished silver trinkets and examined it idly, hardly feeling the yearn to feed. Yes... perhaps she deserved this. Just like she deserved Gabe's anger. Just like she deserved Cesc's.
For all she knew, Henry was just as angry – and she deserved that, too.
Candice sat beside her, only able to watch as Ethiriel stewed quietly in her thoughts – she'd never seen the tea Frei this way. There was a hint of anger that displaced the depression she'd heard about from Henry while she was stuck in Maine, and it was a delicate process trying to ease Ethiriel's mood. The headway they managed earlier that morning seemed to dissipate entirely so quickly.
Still – it felt worse to remain quiet and idle while Ethiriel was like this, even though Candice knew she couldn't do much. For the first time since they'd entered the cafeteria, Candice looked away from Ethiriel, breathing in to collect her thoughts.
“Hey, Eth,” Candice began, though she was immediately interrupted by someone pushing through the cafeteria entrance. The brunette looked up as the cold wind from outside swept through the mess hall.
“Frankie?” Candice murmured, brows furrowed.
”Candice! Ethiriel!”
Before the Frei could get too much more lost in thought, the man's voice brought her back. Her brows rose and she lifted her chin.
Something was wrong.
”Yes?” Ethiriel responded, her voice low and careful despite the frantic nature of the man's approach.
”Don't panic, but...” he said, leaning in close to the two of them to whisper, ”Hyunae is missing... we can't find her anywhere!”
“Oh my god,” Candice replied, holding a hand over her mouth. She quickly rose from her seat, checking her sweater for her lanyard and cellphone. “When'd you find out?”
Ethiriel's eyes widened immediately, expression morphing from neutral to shocked. She dropped her spoon onto the table and stared forward in shock – not even looking at Candice. ”What do you mean, 'she's missing?'” she asked, nearly stammering over her words. She was gone? ”Was nobody watching her?!”
”I don't know what happened,” the man confessed, one hand running through his hairline. ”She just disappeared! I don't know why no one noticed...”
“She must have – I don't know, gone outside for some fresh air, but...” the words were lost on Candice, and she fell to silence as she looked around the cafeteria. Most of the staff was taking a break, now, with only May and Frankie on supervisor duty while the students ate. The rest of the duty was given to the park rangers and Fort Richmond staff, but there wasn't time to lay blame on any one party. Candice let in a breath. “I'll call Winona,” she said, pulling out her cellphone.
”Why are we just sitting here?!” Ethiriel hissed, pushing herself away from the table to float higher. The Frei couldn't imagine being lost as it were, but Hyunae was young and could possibly trip or fall since she couldn't float.
“Ethiriel, it's alright,” Candice pleaded, ear against the cellphone after she quickly dialed in Winona's number; the surrounding children scooted away, surprised by Ethiriel's sudden movement, but the adults' voices were low enough for them not to know of the predicament.
The man held his arms out to stop Ethiriel despite her inability to see him. ”We're going to form a search party; just be calm...”
”I'm going,” said the Frei sternly, fumbling away from her chair in Candice's direction. Candice fumbled away from the oncoming table, expression sharpening to impatience and worry over Ethiriel's rashness – but, before Candice could say a word to her, the ringing on the other end of the phone had stopped.
“Hello? Winona?” Candice said, turning away from the crowd to hear Winona better. She glanced back at Frankie and waved him on, ushering him to follow Ethiriel, and he gave a quick nod.
”Someone needs to stay here and keep an eye on the kids. Are you sure you can help find her? Wouldn't you be more help he--”
Holding her hand up to silence the man, Ethiriel glowered, ”I'm going.” After all... this was her fault and the Frei knew it. Her tone with Hyunae before dinner was far more harsh than Ethiriel ever meant, especially towards the young girl. She scared her off or angered her into leaving – this was her fault. She needed to make this right.
Immediately.
🍂
It was chilly and damp from the quick evening shower – luckily, this served to energize Ethiriel as she searched; it wasn't ideal weather, the coolness clinging to the Frei's skin, but the fresh, post-rain air felt good in her lungs.
”Hyunae! Hyunae, can you hear me?” she called.
It wasn't until the extended silence that Ethiriel realized that she had split from the group – how could she have traveled so far as to not hear them anymore? The still air should have easily carried their voices to her no matter how far they were, but the Frei hear nothing as she hovered in place. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath.
A muffled shout; it was male, calling the same name that Ethiriel could have sworn she had been repeating for the last hour. She had found the group again... at least, she knew they were still there, even if they weren't together.
”Where is she...?”
Was this her fault? Had Ethiriel pushed Hyunae so far that the child felt the need to run off? Had she really screwed up that badly? Frustrated tears stung at her eyes as she called out again. ”Hyunae!” She could feel her throat tighten with each syllable. ”Hyunae! Hyunae please!”
Still nothing, save for the howl of one of the adults calling out in the distance. One would think that Hyunae could hear the desperate calls of the others trying to find her – why didn't she respond? Did she want to be found? Or, rather... did she want to be left alone entirely...?
Oh, why did Ethiriel have to bungle things so badly?
”Hyunae, it's Ethiriel! Please! Please, answer!”
Nothing.
Placing her hand against a tree, Ethiriel lowered herself, hovering just above the ground. She had really screwed things up – at least, that's what she thought. There was no telling at the moment what had set off the young, blind girl's motives to separate. Had she discussed it with the other children, or did she do this on her own?
Did one of the children chase her off?
No, no... as far as she was aware, the blame was entirely on Ethiriel. She should have handled this differently, far differently; perhaps Hyunae felt attacked in her handicap, the one she once shared with the Frei – with Ethiriel behaving so negatively towards being blinded once more, it told the girl that their common ground was a bad thing. It was a burden, a curse. Ethiriel didn't want to be blind, so that meant she didn't want to be like Hyunae. She chased the girl off; it was all her. The blame was on Ethiriel, whether anyone voiced it or not. She did this.
She did this.
Free hand meeting her face, Ethiriel let out a single, jagged sob into her palm.
She did this.
It wasn't even a bad thing... Why had she chosen to behave like a child?
She... did... this.
With her silver retracted, Ethiriel turned her back to the tree and rested against it, both hands now hiding her face as she cried. She listened between jagged breaths for any sign of others – whether it be Hyunae finally reaching out or one of the others in the search party. For now, she was glad that they had separated; she couldn't hold strong forever... everyone had their breaking point, and she had met hers. She desperately wanted to find her young companion with everything she had, but for now... she needed this pent up emotion out.
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:34 am
QUEST
She had been so unfair to so many people. Henry, Gabe, Cesc... So needlessly cruel for things none of them could have any possible control over. They had done nothing wrong, yet Ethiriel berated and pushed them away despite their best efforts to help. Why had she been so mean? The cold, damp air continued to stick to the Frei's skin as she searched – however, her mind, while still worried about Hyunae, circled around her behavior.
Not only did she yell at Cesc, demand he leave her be, but Ethiriel let slip her feelings at the most inopportune time, and for all she knew, it could have pushed the stag further away – even despite his acceptance for her apology. She knew she needed to apologize again, apologize for her terrible behavior and treatment, make things right.
How had that tidbit slip, anyway?
He had only ever been kind to Ethiriel, even in his darkest hour; he was beyond polite when they first met despite the heaviness of the jungle weighing on his shoulders. He had taken her to so many lovely plays and operas. He comforted her at her lowest, and rather than take his lead she blew up in his face. Why had she been so mean to Cesc? He deserved nothing but kindness and she tossed him away like a rag. She couldn't blame him if he wanted nothing to do with her, anymore. She couldn't blame him at all. The Frei didn't know if she could live with herself if he didn't have it in him to accept her apology, but she thought she would deserve it after what she had done.
Then Gabe...
They had just started becoming friends...
Ethiriel dug in her pocket and pulled out the ring and its busted chain, holding it carefully in her hand as she looked it over. He was just trying to help. He just wanted to make sure she had fed and was comfortable, but her petty anger pushed him away in a fit of misdirected rage. They had become so close; she even figured that Gabe felt closer to her than he did his brother... though that wasn't hard to do based on their behavior. The Frei's fingers closed around the ring and clenched hard, as did her eyes, as she held it close to her heart. Would he ever forgive her? Again, she couldn't blame him if he didn't.
And Henry.
The one who probably deserved her anger least.
He'd done nothing but take care of her since Ethiriel came to be a part of this family. He made sure that she was comfortable with clothes on her back, constant food and water – hell, he and Mordekai took so much time out of their own schedules to build her a sun room. Ever upbeat, Henry was always able to bring light into a dark room. He just wanted everyone to be happy, even those who weren't related, blood or not. He worked hard to keep both she and Gabe above water. All he ever tried to do was make sure that his own little family was content.
Their family.
How could she have been so stupid? Carefully putting the ring back in her pocket, Ethiriel pressed on. Her mind still swarmed with memories, doubts and regrets – things she would have to make right as soon as possible. Perhaps she even owed an apology to Candice.
What had even started that rage, anyway? The more she thought about it, the less sense it made to the Frei. Sure, she was upset that her surgery bungled in the end, but was it really as bad as she made it out to be? Sight had been a burden in some ways, too... The bright lights hurt, even with sunglasses, she saw a few things she wished she hadn't – that was the kicker. Had she no vision, she wouldn't have seen the receiver of her feelings kiss another, but... perhaps... perhaps it was for the best. Cesc had been so passionate with Zurine; maybe it was meant to be. He only liked the silver Frei as a friend, and Zuri romantically. And... and that was okay. It had to be okay; Ethiriel cared too much about the stag to wish happiness only for herself. If Rhedefre and Zurine were happy together, then... she would support them. If Cesc wanted someone else, he was free to.
Ethiriel sighed.
Expression sobering, her thoughts distracting her for the time being, the Frei hovered forward with the dying sound of the other's calling out in the distance. She had considered calling out to the others, to let them know she strayed, but in some self-fulfilling need to be the one to find Hyunae, perhaps the scattered search would cover more ground than together.
Not to mention she wanted a chance to be alone with the girl and clear the air.
Poor Hyunae... Ethiriel had treated this like the worst thing in the world, but it was something they both shared. The Frei sullied a friendship for such a shallow reason.
”Hyunae!”
All she wanted to do was find Hyunae and apologize. It was her fault this mess happened, she was sure of it, and Ethiriel wanted nothing more than to make this right.
A ping of hunger thrummed in Ethiriel's rune; she hadn't had much of a chance to feed before Hyunae's disappearance. Hovering lower, leaning against another tree,the Frei groaned in protest. At least she still had some silver coins...
As she held one in her hand, Ethiriel paused in thought.
She would need to end this childish behavior – to not allow herself to fall back into this pit. Her reactions to so many things in the last few months, looking back, were so terrible; so uncalled for. The Frei had caused so much pain for so many people because of how she handled things... She knew she needed to apologize – to so many people.
Thinking back, Ethiriel remembered Aina crying that this would hurt things. That it wasn't right and should have been left alone.
And she was right.
With another sigh, Ethiriel lowered herself further and relaxed once more against the body of a nearby tree. Even Aina had been hurt by this decision, this behavior. How could Ethiriel have allowed any of this to happen? She had been so ignorant to the pain of others in her own selfishness.
Things were going to change.
Now.
Apologies were a must, of course, but resting her head against the tree, Ethiriel closed her eyes and thought hard. What could she do to fix this? What could she change? What could she do to avoid this in the future? To keep from hurting others?
Maturing was definitely the most important matter in Ethiriel's mind. She couldn't allow others to become pained by her poor decisions any longer. She would have to handle things in stride and take them as they came. She couldn't sit and cry or mope about because of one little thing going wrong in a wave of rights. She would think critically of things, put all matters into consideration. Everything had a reason, one way or another.
Her loss of sight was to teach her a lesson. Ethiriel knew that now.
Staring down at the silver coin, the Frei clenched her fist into a ball and soaked in the metal for a quick boost of energy before shoving herself away from the tree and starting again.
”Hyunae!”
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:35 am
QUEST
Sight had certainly been something to experience, but... was it really worth losing everything? Sure, it was nice, but so many things were affected by the addition of just one sense – one Ethiriel had gone her whole life without.
The Frei's sense of smell had been greatly affected by the change; things were a lot weaker and harder to identify – even now she could feel it, the crisp scent of damp earth and foliage permeating the air, so clear for her. In some cases the numbed sensation was a blessing, like skunks on the side of the road or the intense scent of medical cleaners; these things she could live without. However, it made it that much more difficult to distinguish between others that she had become so accustomed to and relied on. So clearly she could remember Cesc's scent... and on the other hand, she could remember Gabe's cigarettes as well. Still...
And hearing. Used to, Ethiriel could pick apart every sound so easily; but now, everything meshed together in sometimes uncomfortable ways. One would think that hearing every little voice or sound in a room full of people would be maddening, but everything merging together into an indistinguishable mess nearly drove the Frei up a wall. She wanted to understand what she heard, not play guessing games. Besides, when everything was distinct, it was easier to tell when others were speaking directly to her.
One of Ethiriel's most used senses came into question as well: touch. She used touch for just about everything – from getting a feel of something to navigation. With sight, touch was almost dizzying to balance properly; she could no longer feel out the keys of a piano without losing her head and attempting to mold a mug was almost out of the question. As well as confusing her senses, touch – like all else – had been numbed down and the Frei couldn't wrap her head around it.
She recalled her past discussions with Gabe... how everyone was born different, with different abilities and each with their own personal senses. Ethiriel had no need for sight; she was born with so much more. She was born with what she needed, what she was intended to have. Though she couldn't remember who had said it, Ethiriel recalled someone telling her she was imperfect for a being created to be perfection – the thought stung in some ways, but she knew of the two that the younger Knight, her friend, was the correct one in this instance. She was born how she was meant to be, and she didn't need sight to “fix” anything.
”Her eyes aren't broken.”
She didn't need fixing. Neither did Hyunae. They were perfect how they were – disabilities and all.
Things were okay – there was nothing wrong with either of them; not at all. They were perfectly fine how they were! Sight was honestly overrated, the more the Frei thought about it – she didn't need sight to be whole, to be 'normal'. Hell, normal was far from perfect, anyway. Gabe seemed to have more wisdom than Ethiriel realized, looking back on it. He once said to her, ”If you can't even remember who said it then their opinion doesn't matter,” in regards to her views on imperfection and how she perceived it. Her other senses took care of her and that was what she was used to, and she could live with that. Just like Hyunae.
Denying that part of herself... Ethiriel had denied Hyunae. Her behavior suggested to Hyunae, an impressionable young girl, that the two of them were broken and needed to be fixed. That they weren't whole. That there was something wrong with them.
Oh, Ethiriel felt like such a fool.
It was part of them. These weren't disabilities that they had gained, but had been born with. It made them unique and different – and that was far better than being or striving to be perfect, or the same as others. There was absolutely nothing wrong with this, not at all, and her attitude had thrown everything in the young girl's face. Their bodies had found different ways to make up for this lack of sense, just as it was meant to be.
So many apologies that Ethiriel owed at this point. Especially to Hyunae.
Would an apology even be enough? The Frei could only imagine the amount of hurt she had caused for the poor girl... would she even accept it? Was their friendship severed for good? Ethiriel prayed that she would be forgiven in the end, but she knew that if she wasn't it was well deserved. She had done this to herself, to the two of them – it was all on her and her poor choices. Please, please, if anything, please let Hyunae be all right.
While forgiveness was important to the Frei, Ethiriel realized that if no one accepted her apologies, then that was fine too. She couldn't expect everyone to be fine with everything she had done, no matter how sincere she was, and while the thought wasn't appealing she knew she had to take it for what it was. So long as they knew that she regretted her actions, to put across her future intentions and offer to make up for it was what she needed to do now. She would change. Looking back, Ethiriel couldn't stand the thought of how she treated others and needed to make it right – and if it resulted in ended friendships... well, that was what it took.
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:37 am
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Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2016 11:39 pm
QUESTI`ll Be GoodAfter Ethiriel convinces Hyunae to come back to camp, something amazing happens.
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Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2016 11:29 am
Oh boy. Ooooh boy.
Henry couldn't think straight as he paced in his bedroom, a hand running through and lightly pulling at his mane. Candice mentioned a surprise from Ethiriel... what could that mean? She sounded content enough, even excited, but so many different things whirred inside the nurse's mind. Obviously, obviously, it was a good thing, but what was she hiding? Maybe it was just something simple that Ethiriel made and his girlfriend was just trying to amp things up?
Whatever it was, the man couldn't help but fret.
With a silent groan, Henry quickly reached for his doorknob and walked out into the hall, pacing down its length for a few moments to get a longer stride. The walking helped – perhaps a walk was in order? Ugh, this was so frustrating and worrying... It had to be good news or else Candice wouldn't have sounded so chipper. Why was this bothering him so much?
To be fair, this was the longest the man had gone with Ethiriel being away in their time together and boy was it stressing him out. She was with someone Henry trusted with anything, so she should be fine... Right?
A scoff escaped Henry's chest as he laughed at himself, running his hands through his hair again before gently knocking on Gabe's door.
”It's me. Got a minute?” Who else would it have been, genius?
Rather than the expected response – a simple “yeah” or “what” that confirmed Henry was allowed inside – the door opened. Gabe didn't open it far enough to let Henry in, not at first; he looked at his older brother with a neutral eye and expectantly raised brows before he opened the door far enough to slip around the nurse and into the hall.
”What's up?” His pace was casual as he headed toward the kitchen.
Henry tensed at the sudden movement, but once Gabe had veered around him the nurse eased. He chuckled soundlessly, anxiously running a hand through his hair once more – it was time for a haircut, he decided – before following a few paces behind.
”Candice called. She said Ethiriel has a surprise for me and it's got me worried.” It sounded even stupider spoken aloud. ”I mean, it's gotta be good? She didn't sound like anything was wrong, but...” He wasn't very good at this hands-off thing. Another chuckle. ”I just hope she's doing okay--”
Gabe glanced at his brother while rounding the corner, one brow quirked. ”And what, pray tell, are we catastrophizing today?” Sarcasm was thick. He stopped in front of the refrigerator and peered inside. This time his tone was more leveled. ”Do you really think your girlfriend wouldn't just tell you if something bad happened?”
”W-well, no...” Henry stumbled, an awkward smirk on his face. ”It's just... it's been a couple days and I haven't even gotten a single text from Ethiriel-- I'm trying to give her space but it's a little worrying...”
When nothing in the fridge seemed to pique his interest, Gabe closed it and retreated to the cabinet for an empty glass. ”She wasn't exactly talkative before she left, either, was she?” The water filter on the faucet blinked yellow while it filled his cup, which made him frown. It needed to be replaced.
With his thumbnail pressed against his bottom lip, Henry nodded despite his sibling's lack of attention. ”True... I just worry that maybe this isn't helping her. I don't want her to be miserable with something I convinced her to do...”
”Then talk to her about it when she gets back, Henry.” Gabe turned to face his brother with his back against the counter, glass full. ”If it's not helping her now, breathing down her neck about it isn't going to make it any better.”
Henry leaned against the kitchen's island, face forward but eyes on Gabe with crossed arms. He lightly bit his nail once before lowering his hand down into the crook of his elbow. ”I know, I know...”
Ever since it was brought up, Henry realized how annoying he could be – and was hyper aware of it.
”I know Candice wouldn't try to trick me, I just can't figure out what it could be. I guess if she's in a positive mood about whatever it is, Ethiriel can't be in bad shape...”
Once more, Gabe quirked a brow. He didn't look annoyed so much as unimpressed as he took a drink of water. ”So what's the point of overthinking this?”
Closing his eyes and deflating, Henry's shoulders slumped. Gabe was right... Again. The nurse needed to stop overthinking basically every little detail, but for him it was like being a first-time parent; sure, she wasn't by any means a child, but the nurse cared for Ethiriel like she was his own, even if she didn't see it that way.
”There is no point,” he admitted, giving Gabe a forced and crooked grin. It was just difficult for him having her gone for so long, even if he knew she was safe with the woman he loved.
The grin did little to assuage his brother's scrutiny. Gabe took a more casual stance against the counter, with one hand in his pocket while the other held his drink and his legs crossed at his ankles. ”How long have you been stewing like this?”
Shrugging, Henry responded, ”Just for a bit. Got off the phone maybe ten, fifteen minutes ago.” It wasn't a lot of time, but it was enough to bother Henry into pacing earlier. Perhaps had Candice put Ethiriel on the phone for a short while, it wouldn't have bothered him this much, but maybe the Frei didn't want to speak to him just yet? That managed to put a damper on the nurse's grin.
”Uh-huh.” Gabe didn't sound convinced. ”I mean in general. Was it as soon as she stepped out the door or did you get a few hours head start?”
”I mean...” Henry started, suddenly at a loss for words. He had been worried from the get-go, but he just figured that was from the remaining tension in the air from the last few weeks. Shrugging again, this time parting his arms so that they could splay out at his sides, Henry shook his head. To be honest, he really didn't know.
Henry's omission was enough of an answer. With a short huff, Gabe turned to look at the kitchen doorway where a certain collie stood patient and quiet. ”You're really not good at this, are you?” Despite the bite of the words themselves, his brother's tone carried none of it; he was passive, merely stating an observation.
This time, Henry chuckled aloud with an amused smile. ”I'm really not,” he admitted, following Gabe's gaze to Nedhudir – the last time he took the collie out was earlier that day, maybe a few hours ago, and he'd probably need to be taken out soon. ”I... I want to get better, though.”
It was delayed, even tentative, but Gabe's eyes drifted back to Henry. He stared for a moment with a frown that didn't quite meet his tired eyes. ”Then you need to start trusting people.”
”I trust Candice, and Ethiriel... and you. I really do. I guess I'm just a natural worrier--”
”Like hell.” This, too, was expressed with a strange calm to Gabe's voice, a steadiness that almost seemed practiced. ”You might want to but you don't. You worry so much because you don't trust us to take care of ourselves.”
In surprise, Henry looked back to Gabe with raised brows. Staring the younger Knight down, the nurse immediately put thought into his brother's words as his gaze slowly panned down to the floor. Again... Gabe was right. His whole life was built on taking care of others – even if they didn't need it. Bringing his hand back up to lightly bite his nail, he let out another scoff. Gabe was right.
”Yeah, I... I'm sorry.”
While the two brothers squared off, Nedhudir sat where he stood. A short silence filled the room following Henry's apology. Gabe averted his eyes as he emptied his glass and set it aside. He nodded, at least, but there was little else to acknowledge Henry's apology.
”There's a line,” finally, he spoke, ”and once it's crossed, you're not worrying about someone for their sake. You're worried that you won't be the one to dig them out of whatever s**t they got themselves into.” Gabe faced Henry once more, expression and voice both a little more terse. ”You're worried you won't get to be the hero. The one that helped them because they couldn't manage. It's condescending.” Their mother was the same way.
He glanced to the backdoor, rather than even meeting the dog's gaze let alone his brother's. ”I've been tired of it for a long time.”
Ethiriel may not have had the luxury to call such a long standing foul but, even for her, there was a difference between worry and distrust.
Distraught, Henry continued to stare down at the floor. Gabe made all good points, and each one hit harder and harder. He nearly refused to look at his brother at this point, eyes focused on a specific tile of their linoleum floor. The nurse had never realized this, and surely their mother hadn't either – he did know that he was smothering, but he'd never really had it spelled out for him the way Gabe had just laid everything out.
Was he really trying to play the hero?
”I--” he paused, searching for the right word. It was like his whole life was laid out before him in as negative a light as possible and Henry couldn't quite put what he was feeling into words. He had never meant to hurt anyone with it, especially not his own brother.
With a shocked expression, he finally looked up at Gabe, who was looking away. ”I didn't... I mean...” Henry fumbled, his words not quite rolling off his tongue. Running a hand through his hair again, he exhaled sharply and looked back down. ”I never meant it to be like that...”
”Yeah,” Gabe answered as his elbows came to rest on the counter behind him. He didn't look at Henry. ”Mom wouldn't have apologized.”
”No,” Henry chuckled, ”she certainly wouldn't have. I wish I had known sooner, Gabe, I... I'm really sorry.”
Again, he nodded. Whether it was acceptance or merely an acknowledgment was impossible to tell. For what it was worth, Gabe finally looked Henry in the eye again. He folded his arms. ”That's step one, at least.”
The corner of Henry's lip curled upward, brows knitting as he met Gabe's eye. Straightening up for a moment, the nurse eased himself back into reclining against the island before crossing his arms again. ”I know it's just a bunch of words, but... I'll do what I can to change. I might need some help from time to time, though.”
He tried to give his brother a reassuring smile.
Gabe assessed his brother with a flat stare; he said, with a tone to match, ”I'm not going to hold your hand, Henry.” Once more his eyes drifted. Nedhudir was laid against the floor, half in the kitchen and half out, with his chin atop his paws. The younger Knight pushed away from the sink and moved toward the collie, which sent the guide dog promptly to his feet. Gabe stepped around him. ”But I'll take it.”
The nurse perked, though his shoulders fell sheepishly at Gabe's statement before rising once more to a more natural position. Henry watched his brother step over to Nedhudir with interest, and his final words put the man at ease.
”Yeah...” he chuckled. A brow quirked as his brother commanded the dog to rise.
Nedhudir followed behind Gabe and was quickly out of sight. Both of their footfalls moved from carpet to wood and, from the kitchen, Henry could hear the jingle of keys and a leash – as well as something unexpected.
”Are you coming, or what?”
The man's brows raised once more at Gabe's question, having been caught off guard. In a few quick steps, Henry moved from the kitchen, into the living room and out into the main hall, surprise still on his face as he hadn't expected it: however, he wasn't going to question a good thing.
”Yeah... yeah, I'm coming.”
As soon as Henry was within reach, Gabe held the dog's lead out to him. He looked elsewhere, occupied by opening the door. While Nedhudir's stance was calm the collie's tail wagged eagerly. ”Something has to distract your a**,” Gabe mumbled as he stepped out of the way.
Henry took the leash, his smile easing – along with his brows – as he followed quickly behind Gabe. They made a lot of ground today, whether it was planned or not.
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2016 11:09 am
Gambino's spring usually felt like the beginnings of an Aekea summer to Gabe, and today was no different. He handed off the collie to Henry before they exited and, as they walked around the neighborhood a bit out of sync, the younger brother was quiet.
Taking Nedhudir readily, Henry kept in pace with his brother. The invitation for the walk was unexpected, leaving the older Knight unable to think of anything to say. The quiet was actually nice, however, so the nurse didn't feel necessarily awkward. Free hand in his pocket, Henry took a more casual stance with his posture as they continued forward, glancing around the neighborhood as they went.
Hands in his pockets, Gabe glanced sidelong to his brother when the quiet grew to what felt like an uncharacteristic length. He let it linger a bit more before addressing, pointedly; “So.”
Henry, who had been thinking about their earlier conversation, perked at his brother's attempt to rekindle conversation and he smiled mindlessly as he turned to face Gabe. ”Mm?” he hummed in response, pulling himself from his former thoughts.
Gabe, too, had his mind on the discussion; though they did reach something of a consensus, it felt incomplete – like they hadn't made as much progress as the smile on Henry's face seemed to suggest. While Henry looked at him, Gabe looked forward. ”Mm?” he repeated sarcastically before he continued with, ”What are we not going to do?”
The nurse's smile faded into a neutral line, turning his attention back to the path ahead of them. ”Not going to obsess, not going to fret, not going to read too much into little things,” Henry listed off, his tone even. He looked to Nedhudir, focusing on the collie's silver studded collar.
His brother's robotic response, compared to the initial dreamy hum, made Gabe squint. ”Yes,” he confirmed, with an unmistakable tone that said duh, ”What else?” Gabe glanced at Henry with a raised brow, just long enough to make sure his brother noticed before he looked forward again. ”You said you wanted to get better at this – so, start.”
With his attention still on Nedhudir's collar, Henry let out a soft breath in thought. He didn't return Gabe's gaze. ”Well...” he started, removing his free hand from his pocket to scratch at his jaw. ”Where do I begin? I know I need to trust in everyone more; all it does otherwise is fuss me up...”
The sigh that left Gabe next was nothing short of impatient. While a comment was made under his breath (”you should know better”), Gabe took a moment to find something more constructive. ”Let's look at your crisis response, for one. Do you remember what your immediate reaction to her flipping out was?”
”I tried too hard to 'make things right,' and I raised my voice with her...” Henry said, shoulders slumping as he deflated. He had felt guilty about it when it had happened, but now that it was back out in the air it put pressure on his chest. ”And then I tried too hard to give her space. I need to find the middle.”
”Your immediate goal,” Gabe corrected, ”was to make her stop feeling that way. You wanted to throw distractions at her, like calling up her friends, so she'd forget feeling messed up.” He didn't touch on the other things Henry listed yet. ”Guess what that's called.”
Henry visibly winced as his brother explained, putting his follies into clear detail. ”Invalidation,” he replied, still not looking at Gabe.
While his brother avoided looking at him, Gabe continued. ”That's what you do to placate a kid.” They were half way from the house now, beginning the slow circle back around. ”Everyone knows it's your job to help people but you need to look at why you help people. 'Cause all through her mess, and a damn long time before, the only reason I've seen is you're uncomfortable when people aren't happy.”
”I mean... who likes seeing others unhappy?” Henry started. ”I get where you're coming from, though, don't get me wrong... I'm... I don't know why I'm like this. How do I even try to fix it?”
The first comment earned Henry a flat stare but Gabe refrained from commenting. ”You're like this because mom's like this. Mom's like this because everybody's like this.” He glanced away, out toward the road as a station wagon passed. ”Until something messes them up enough to know distractions don't make a damn thing better. You don't have that, so you need to pay attention and stop trying to treat people like the same sick kid you always do.”
Opening his mouth to retort, Henry quickly closed it and gave a heavy breath. Gabe was right, like he always seemed to be. He needed to get better at reading people, at treating them like separate people, taking care of each individual person differently. The nurse couldn't keep thinking that one course of action was enough, and he couldn't try the same tactics every time.
”You're right,” he finally said, still looking to Nedhudir. ”I know I haven't been fair to you growing up, to Ethiriel now. At least, I know now.” Without smiling, Henry looked to his brother. ”I'll do my best to change things. I don't want to be like mom.”
Since the conversation began Gabe's expression only seemed to harden but, with Henry's admission, he eased back toward neutrality. With a short glance, he returned the look and opened his mouth to speak; Gabe turned away suddenly thanks to a sneeze. Even with plenty of allergy medication, he wasn't immune to dander or pollen, let alone together.
With a curse under his breath, Gabe recovered and tried again. ”You do need a balance,” he agreed with the earlier comment, ”You said you talked to dad a while ago, right?”
Henry nodded, his eyes still on his brother. He was nearly tempted to reach out at the sneeze but held back, not wanting to backpedal their progress. ”Yeah, not too long ago.”
”Right.” Gabe sniffed; he didn't appear to notice Henry's knee-jerk response. ”What was that about?”
”I was asking for some advice; what he thought about what was happening with Ethiriel. Aside from just visiting, anyway – it'd been a while.”
As he nodded, Gabe glanced down to Nedhudir who, while plodding along at a steady pace, stared right back and had, in fact, done so since the sneeze. ”Did he have any?”
The nurse shrugged lightly, turning his attention to a passing car on the street before looking to Nedhudir's collar again. ”He suggested I just 'be there' for her. No talking unless she needed it. Letting her heal at her own pace.”
”There it is.” Gabe mumbled this to himself just as Henry finished. He looked at his brother only for a moment before he gave a proper response. ”Compared to how mom handles s**t, it's a blessing.” There was a slight pause after Gabe sighed. He turned his head toward the road again, so Henry couldn't read his expression. Plainly, sincerely, he said, ”I messed that up, too.”
”I think we both have some opportunities to make it right. Even if she doesn't accept any apologies, it's worth a shot.” Henry said, shoving his hand back into his pocket as he faced the sidewalk ahead. ”We just gotta be supportive without suffocating her. I've been doing too much of that.”
Gabe only murmured his agreement, at first. For several moments, it seemed as though he was ready to leave the topic at that. Clearing his throat, he proved that false. ”When she gets back, let her make the first move. Don't ask her how it was, don't ask her if it helped, just let her do her thing first – whatever it is.”
Whatever the surprise might have been.
With a nod, Henry managed a smile. ”Agreed.”
With a brief pause, the nurse looked to his brother once more. ”And you?” he asked, almost leaving it at that – but after a second of no response, Henry added, ”What do you plan on doing?”
”The exact same thing.”
”Ah,” Henry sighed. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but that answer was better than none. Their plan of attack was letting things fall as they may and he was okay with that. Even if Ethiriel didn't feel better, didn't accept their attempts at fixing things, they would find a way to live with it.
Gabe raised an eyebrow at Henry. ”Do you have a better suggestion?”
With raised brows, Henry perked at Gabe's question and shook his head. ”No, no... I think it's a good plan. However...” he looked to his brother without turning his head. ”I think we should both apologize as soon as she's open to it.”
”When she's open to it,” Gabe emphasized as he looked forward.
”Yeah,” Henry punctuated, smirking a little.
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2016 11:11 am
Joy I Call LifeEthiriel and Candice make it home with a surprise for Henry -- Ethiriel's stomach!
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2016 11:15 am
Outside of the door to Gabe's room, Ethiriel hovered with her hand lightly holding the knob. Nervousness clenched her chest – she had been thinking about making up with the younger Knight ever since coming home earlier in the day, but anxiety was making movement difficult.
He had been absent not only from her homecoming but from the house entirely, at the time. Gabe's return from wherever he had gone came a bit after Ethiriel had already settled back in and Candice had left for her own home. There had been no attempt at contact from him then, either – silent on all fronts. Whether he was intentionally avoiding her or not remained to be seen but she would get no answers without taking action.
Letting go of the knob, the Sigel knocked lightly.
It was quiet on the other side. For a few moments it felt uncertain whether the knock was heard or if there was anyone on the other side of the door at all.
The creak of a leather computer chair gave the younger brother's position away but his acknowledgment remained hesitant. ”Yeah?” At the very least, Gabe sounded neither annoyed nor impatient with the interruption.
Letting out a hard breath, Ethiriel hovered her hand over the knob again, hesitating for a moment longer before wordlessly opening the door and slipping in. Once inside, she closed the door behind her and remained stationary in front of it, her hands behind her back as she stared forward.
”Hello, Gabe...”
From the sounds of it, the distance of his voice and no further creaking of leather or plastic, he too remained still in his seat.
”Hey, Eth...” He matched her volume.
The lingering silence only served to make Ethiriel's heart throb – Gabe had used a nickname rather than her full, so there was a small glimmer of hope that bloomed within the Sigel. Her hands slid off of the knob entirely and she moved forward, stopping about a yard and a half from the Knight.
With obvious hesitance, she asked, ”Do you mind if... we talk...?”
There was a subtle creak of the chair as Gabe shifted his weight. His answer came with some similar trepidation. ”Sure.”
Ethiriel took a deep breath, tangling her fingers before her newly formed torso. She wasn't exactly sure of what to say, but she knew there was a lot that needed to be addressed – especially with Gabe. The Raevan never intended to hurt him so badly... Clearing her throat, she fixed her eyes straight ahead.
”I... don't know where to start,” she said, decorated with a humorless chuckle. With another breath, Ethiriel continued, ”I was... childish. Unbearably so. I should not have lashed out at you like I did... but... I believe I have changed.”
Another hesitant bit of silence moved between them as Gabe seemed to process what Ethiriel was telling him. ”That might be an understatement.” His voice was as calm and low as it had been since she first entered the room. The blunt observation carried an undertone of sarcasm that, compared to his frequently derisive tone, almost sounded lighthearted despite the seriousness of the conversation. ”You look healthier.”
For a moment, Ethiriel couldn't tell if Gabe's comment had been a knock at her behavior or a note of her growth, but his tone led her to believe that it was the latter and she cracked an awkward smile. Rubbing her arm, she nodded. ”I... feel healthier. Like a weight has been removed.” The Sigel sighed, her lips in a gentle half smile as her brows rose.
”That's good...” Gabe cleared his throat. ”Did something happen? Besides – that.”
”I—hm...” Ethiriel started, clearing her throat as well. Now she cursed having upset Gabe enough for him to remove his chain. ”...there was a girl – one of Candice's students. She is also blind so we became close. She... got upset about the way I had been acting, both to her and regarding everyone else, and ran away so I went out to find her.” A quiet sniffle. ”I... took matters into my own hands. I wouldn't rest until I made things right. I couldn't be the reason anything bad happened to her. We ended up lost together all night trying to find camp. She's such a strong-willed girl...”
Ethiriel hadn't realized how much Hyunae's words on their way back to camp had affected her, her growth. The girl pointed out how the Raevan always let everyone do everything for her, allowed others to lead her without question – all Hyunae ever wanted was to hold her own, to do things for herself, and now... Ethiriel understood that and wanted the same for herself.
She'd have to be strong, both for herself and Hyunae.
”Because of her, I want to accept myself; for what I am, what I will be. I want to take care of myself and rely less on those around me when I can help it.”
Gabe was quiet as Ethiriel spoke, not even with an idle swivel of the chair as he sometimes did during conversation. It was only after another adjustment that it became obvious he was still there at all.
”They're good goals.” He leaned back; his voice lowered. ”I was wondering when you were going to make them.”
With another low chuckle, Ethiriel's gaze lowered. ”I was offered many chances... I just wish that I had stepped forward sooner.” A hand idly dug itself into the pocket of her jacket, fingers clenching around Gabe's ring and chain. ”Perhaps I needed this trip as a lesson. A kick in the right direction.”
He didn't return her laugh but, as she finished her thought, Gabe sighed. ”Well – you weren't the only one who needed a kick in the a**. We all did.” There he did manage a scoff. ”Myself included.”
Her fist clenched tighter. ”Still... I should have been more mature about this whole ordeal. I was cruel to you, to Henry...” To Cesc, Cruz, Aadhira, Aina... ”I regret my actions but I cannot change them. All I can do is ask forgiveness.”
”Yeah, well...” Gabe trailed off; he grew quiet for a moment, then took a breath. ”Listen. I don't have the patience for a lot of things, self loathing in particular. I've had my share of it and I'm tired. So when I see you do it, it's exhausting – I've already done it and it took up a lot of my time.” His voice regained its usual sturdiness as he explained. After a brief pause, Gabe lowered his tone. ”But you didn't have the benefit of hindsight to look back on stupid behavior from ten, twelve years ago. I've been trying to tell you for a long time not to because I know it does nothing and I was pissed because it seemed to just be going in one ear and out the other.”
Not that Gabe ever particularly felt like his advice was validated in this house, let alone with his entire family. He let out another short sigh before he continued. ”That still doesn't make me yelling at you when you were like that right. So, I guess we're even.”
”Your anger...” Ethiriel paused, letting out a nervous breath. ”Your anger, in a sense, was more justified than my own. I was just throwing a tantrum over something I could not control. I see this now. I do not fault you for being upset with me.
“Perhaps that was a kick I needed, as well.”
He managed a scoff at that. ”Maybe.“
Gabe turned in his seat, to look past Ethiriel and toward the door; it was still closed, their conversation remained private. ”What's the plan, then?”
A beat passed as Ethiriel thought it over – there was so much she needed to do, could do, would do. Closing her eyes, she lightly tipped her head downward. ”No more hand-holding. I can do things on my own. I'll take Nedhudir on my own and go places, myself.” Her voice was a bit stronger now. ”I will become a more independent person. Meet people. I want to prove to myself that I can do it.”
”That's a start,” Gabe replied after a moment of appraisal. ”It's a good time to stop silencing yourself, too. You hold yourself in too much, and that's what happens. So speak up if you get rubbed the wrong way. Ask questions. Talk – it's the only way to get anything done.”
”Yes...” she trailed off, raising her eyes just a tad, vaguely towards Gabe's desk. ”I'm... I'm going to speak out to Rhede, as well. I need to clear the air, no matter what the outcome may be...”
”Right,” he sounded a little less enthused with her admission but continued, ”You can't control or predict how anyone's going to react but there's no point in festering and ignoring a problem like it'll go away on its own or or someone else will take care of it. Chances are, they don't even know it's a problem until you tell them. The world's shitty enough on its own without you sabotaging yourself.”
At this, Ethiriel merely nodded. Worst case scenario, in her mind, was that Cesc would want to drop all contact with her for the way she had behaved... and she wouldn't have blamed him, to be honest; but she hoped to whatever higher power there was that it wouldn't be the case. If they couldn't have anything romantic, she desperately needed the stag to stay a friend.
The only thing that would make this worse for her was wait.
”My growth came with a purpose. I'm meant to change, and I will change... for the better. I will speak my mind and pull my own weight.”
”Good.” At this, Gabe rose from his seat and moved to the door. When it opened, he paused. Nedhudir sat patiently just outside of the door frame, eyes brought to Gabe as the two regarded each other. ”Oh. Your dog's here.”
Ethiriel followed Gabe's footsteps with her eyes until he passed, then turned her head at the sound of the door opening. Her solemn expression shifted at the mention of the collie, a fondness forming in its place. ”Ah, Nedhudir...” she cooed, lowering herself closer to the floor. At this, the dog trotted in past Gabe and lovingly nuzzled into Ethiriel's hands, to which she pressed her forehead against his. ”Did you miss me...?” she whispered. The collie's tail wagged against the floor.
Gabe stood by the door and observed while the two had their little reunion. ”He checked your room a lot,” his arms folded, ”He was looking for you.”
”Were you now...?” she said softly, planting a gentle kiss between Nedhudir's eyes before pulling away, his jaws remaining cupped in her hands. Giving out a hum, Ethiriel ruffled the top of the collie's head and floated higher. ”Gabe...?” she murmured, almost inaudible.
The house was quiet enough for him to catch it, the only sound nearby was the subtle hum of the computer fan. ”Yeah?”
The Sigel paused for a moment, rising high enough where her hands eventually lost contact with Nedhudir. Digging her hand back into her pocket, Ethiriel pulled out the ring and chain but did not show; instead, she approached the younger Knight and, against her better judgment, wrapped her arms around his ribs and pressed her forehead against his collar bone.
”I'm sorry.”
He tensed at the contact; arms held out from her, his head turned away. Even his breath held for a few short seconds. He let it out, slow and controlled. One arm moved with awkward uncertainty until his palm found a place against Ethiriel's back just beneath her wings.
Beneath his hand, Gabe could feel Ethiriel's slight trembling.
”If there's anything I can do to make it up to you...” she said, her fingers lightly clenching the back of Gabe's shirt. ”I know I said it before, but... I shouldn't have lashed out at you. You were only trying to help...”
Ethiriel then pulled away but her hands remained on Gabe, snaking around to his chest and up his shoulders before they met his neck. Concentration clear on her face, the Sigel pulled the chain around and pinched it tight between her fingers, and within seconds a clump of silver repaired where the necklace had broken. It wasn't until then that she pulled away, her fingers lightly dragging across Gabe's chest before contact was lost.
There was just as much uncertainty in the release, as though the younger Knight were truly lost on how to process any of their actions. For a few moments after, all was still and they were quiet. The ring lifted, as if hovering in the surrounding darkness, held between his fingers.
”Don't mention it,” he replied distantly as he inspected the chain. It took him another moment to speak again; the ring fell back against his chest, where it stayed. ”Just do what you said you're going to. That's all.”
Ethiriel's eyes remained on the ring and its subtle movements, following along as it was lifted and dropped. The tension had built but as soon as Gabe spoke again, the Sigel was able to relax a little, her shoulders dropping in relief.
Another pause as the two stood together, but after a moment of waiting, Ethiriel clicked her tongue for Nedhudir to approach – and he did, immediately coming to her side. She didn't want to leave Gabe at that, but even she was at a loss for words; all she could do was offer him a sympathetic smile and nod in agreement. Turning, she held her hand out to lead the collie and herself out towards the front door.
”Hey,” Gabe's voice followed them from his doorway as they started down the hall. ”Thanks for fixing this.”
Turning her head, Ethiriel offered a soft smile and an even softer, ”You're welcome.”
With the brothers home there was no need for the Sigel to grab the keys (not that she knew which were which), so with a quick nod she opened the door and left for around the block. Ethiriel was comfortable here, finally comfortable. She had a place to stay and people who cared for her – what else could she ask for?
Well, aside from fixing this runny nose.
Everything was fine, everything was okay; she had nothing to worry about. She wasn't going to lose the Knights, no... not like she had with Leo. No matter what she did, how dreadful she acted, the brothers had remained by her side through it all.
She was home.
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2016 11:15 am
Lab 305 Spring ViewingTeam AWith Ethiriel sick of a sudden cold, Henry goes to the Spring Viewing alone. Things go south quick and the participants find themselves looking for stolen essences.
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